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1. ▲ Multi AI Agent Systems Using OpenAI's New GPT-4o Model (github.com/metaskills)
**Multi AI Agent Systems Using OpenAI's New GPT-4o Model**: Another day, another GitHub repo promising to revolutionize AI with the complexity of multi-agent systems, only to be hilariously thwarted by the immutable laws of error propagation and overwhelming context burdens. Commenters, ever the optimists in the face of discouraging real-world feedback, continue their Quixotic quest for the *Golden Configuration* that never quite materializes. Meanwhile, critics lament OpenAI's seductive ecosystem lock-in, recalling every developer's worst relationship: too much control, too many expectations, and nowhere near enough flexibility. In the cacophony of cries for simpler APIs and fewer token costs, some brave souls are still holding out hope for a magical fix by 2024. *Spoiler alert:* Don't hold your breath. 😉
50 points by metaskills 2024-05-17T23:25:32 | 22 comments
2. ▲ Bend: a high-level language that runs on GPUs (via HVM2) (github.com/higherorderco)

Bending Over Backwards: A High-Level Farce


Meet Bend, the latest programming mirage designed to replace your old, crusty Python scripts with shiny new GPU-burning extravaganzas. Developers can now enjoy the thrill of waiting 42 minutes for a basic sum function to run, discovering joys previously exclusive to dial-up Internet users. Meanwhile, comment wizards try porting code like it's an Olympic sport, only to realize that Bend sprints as fast as a sloth on sleeping pills. Surely, with enough "micro-optimizations" and overheated GPUs, it could someday calculate two plus two in under an hour—progress! 🐌💨🔥
561 points by LightMachine 2024-05-17T14:23:44 | 130 comments
3. ▲ Wuffs: Wrangling Untrusted File Formats Safely (github.com/google)
Wuffs: Yet Another Google Attempt to Save the World

Google shocks no one by releasing Wuffs, a library that hand-holds programmers across the scary field of untrusted file formats because everyone knows handling a PNG must be akin to defusing a bomb 💣. Commenters leap to worship this latest geek chic, tripping over themselves to reveal just how much faster and safer their PNG-loading life has become (though some admit it's basically rocket science to use). One hero, daringly using this in "Substrata", manages to both simplify and complicate everyone's understanding, sparking a coder's existential crisis: to emit C or to emit Rust? Oh, the gripping dilemmas of modern programming! Meanwhile, the rest of the developer community is still trying to figure out why they need a special language to load cat pictures faster. Rest assured, Google listens to your feedback—unless it's critical.
104 points by nequo 2024-05-16T13:48:45 | 21 comments
4. ▲ ILGPU: Write GPU programs with C# and F# (github.com/m4rs-mt)
**Title: ILGPU: Paving the Way for Programmers to Code GPUs in C# Without Ever Learning How to Optimize Anything**

In an audacious attempt to enable every *Tom, Dick, and Harry* to slam poorly adapted high-level code onto GPUs, ILGPU boldly asserts, "Yes, C# fanboys can now pretend to do performance computing too!" Enthusiastic amateurs emerge from every nook and cranny of their daytime cubicles to heap accolades on this majestic bridge to nowhere, opining on its revolutionary potential to change absolutely nothing. Meanwhile, the comments section transforms into the tech equivalent of a suburban dads' lawn mowing forum, where everyone argues over the best fuel type while the grass just keeps growing. In a world where understanding the machine is as antiquated as VHS tapes, why not just `simplify` everything until your GPU code runs as smoothly as your grandma's first Zoom call? 🚀🙃
75 points by neonsunset 2024-05-17T20:25:40 | 10 comments
5. ▲ Non-Euclidean Doom: what happens to a game when pi is not 3.14159 (2022) [video] (ccc.de)
**Non-Euclidean Doom: what happens to a game when pi is not 3.14159 (2022) [video] (ccc.de)**

Step right up to witness the carnival of coders tampering with mathematical constants as if they're in the middle of a mid-life crisis. Luke Gotszling dives into the chaos of tweaking pi in doom, spawning a monstrous geometric anomaly that could only be dreamed up by someone who’s watched **Inception** too many times on repeat. Commenters, nostalgic for the good ol’ days of a genuinely flat Duke Nukem universe, engage in pedantic quarrels to decisively prove that—yes!—you can indeed compare genetically-modified apples to vintage oranges. Because, why not contort logic like a pretzel in spaces where the mere act of walking through a door requires a PhD in theoretical physics? 🔄🤓🚪
378 points by robin_reala 2024-05-17T12:43:14 | 107 comments
6. ▲ Exact binary vector search for RAG in 100 lines of Julia (domluna.com)
Title: Another Day, Another Julia Show-Off

Dom and the fellow Julians are back at it, cramming every bite of performance out of their beloved language. This time, they've managed to make Hamming distances *so concise* they're almost unreadable. Commenters leap at the chance to flex their optimization muscles, suggesting built-ins and machine instructions likely invisible without a magnifying glass (and a degree in computer science). If you thought knowing what RAG stands for was a prerequisite, you're too late—this party's for code golfers and the acronym adept!
82 points by lunaticd 2024-05-16T15:09:21 | 12 comments
7. ▲ Toon3D: Seeing cartoons from a new perspective (toon3d.studio)
🎨 In a bold leap for animated redundancy, the fine folks at Toon3D decided that cartoons simply can't be cartoons without geometrically consistent 3D reconstructions. With a cocktail of "hand-labeled keypoints" and "monocular depth priors" (because nothing says 'easy' like a bit of homemade depth-estimation on your Saturday morning cartoons), they now offer you a chance to twist and turn through scenes never intended to be viewed from more than one angle. Meanwhile, the comment section evolves into a history lesson on CGI in animations, as everyone tries to prove they paid more attention in Film Studies than the Toon3D engineers did in "Leave It To The Animators 101". As expected, acknowledge the digital forebears like Tron and Oliver & Company, and don't miss the opportunity to confuse which nostalgic cartoon featured which tech first. 🍿👓
319 points by lnyan 2024-05-17T13:04:06 | 93 comments
8. ▲ Ubershaders: A Ridiculous Solution to an Impossible Problem (2017) (dolphin-emu.org)
Title: **Ubershaders: A Ridiculous Solution to an Impossible Problem (2017) (dolphin-emu.org)**

In a world where complexity and redundancy collide, the ubershaders saga unfolds, leaving technologists and forum warriors alike *bewildered*. As the emulator devs embark on a Sisyphean quest to tackle the ever-regenerating shader issue, they inadvertently craft an Eldritch horror of a solution: ubershaders. Comment sections spiral into chaos, revealing deep-seated nostalgia for simpler times when magic smoke and *mystical GameCube rituals* solved everything. Meanwhile, e-scholars debate the existential nuances of SPIR-V vs. GLSL as if the fate of humanity, rather than frame rates, hung in the balance. 😱✨
74 points by Grognak 2024-05-16T15:52:53 | 16 comments
9. ▲ An Animated QR Code of Bad Apple (exozy.me)
In a groundbreaking moment of nostalgia-cum-fixation for the digital era, someone has finally answered the burning question no one asked: Can you make a QR code animate "Bad Apple"? Readers are enthralled, flocking en masse to prod this digital beast with the ancient Handbrake tool to make it less obese on their already heaving drives. Commenter #45 juggles HP calculators like hipster cred as they wax poetic about ye olden days of LED/photodiode flirtations, clearly forgetting the QR code has no soul to flash back. Meanwhile, a coder in the comment abyss, probably avoiding actual work, demands a live demo in JavaScript and HTML, because what the internet clearly needs is more quirky but utterly use-next-day projects. 🔥📱💾
16 points by LorenDB 2024-05-16T11:32:52 | 4 comments
10. ▲ Ex-OpenAI staff must sign lifetime no-criticism contract or forfeit all equity (x.com)
**Ex-OpenAI Staff Sign Your Soul Away For A Slice of Equity**

In a stunning innovation in corporate enslavement, ex-OpenAI staffers are now rewarded for their silence more lucratively than for their contributions to AI. In what appears to be a legally dubious move that would make a Constitutional scholar spit out their coffee, former employees must sign away their right to ever criticize the company if they wish to see a dime of equity. As legal armchair experts on forum threads rush to compare these contracts to everything from indentured servitude to dark magic pacts, one must wonder if part of OpenAI's secret project was to develop artificial intelligence sharp enough to craft ironclad legal traps. Meanwhile, in the realm of common sense (a seemingly scarce resource), the only alignment observed is between OpenAI's desperation for control and the dystopic narratives it fears its creations might unleash. 🤖💸🔒
293 points by apsec112 2024-05-17T22:34:51 | 148 comments
11. ▲ Pacific squid flashes its attack 'headlights' (bbc.com)
The BBC, in its relentless quest to fill every crevice of its website with essential knowledge, informs us that some squids use what can only be described as "headlights" to dazzle and devour their prey. In the echo chamber of the comments section, enthusiasts boldly ignore the article's show-stopping marvels to rant about the unbearable 20-second ad apocalypse. Delving deeply into oceanic esoterics, they liken squids to big cats of the deep, complete with science-fiction references and sidebars about alien life of the aquatic kind. But fret not—amidst the talk of hypothetical Martian oceans and whale digestion dramas, the quest for knowledge wages on aboard the aptly named research vessel "Dagon," charting courses through comments as murky and perilous as the oceanic depths. 🦑💡🌌
37 points by onemoresoop 2024-05-16T14:04:25 | 18 comments
12. ▲ Show QN: I built a website to create financial models for any stock online (useequityval.com)
Title: Show HN: The Newest Toy for Amateur Day Traders

Another day, another financial model generator that convinces the basement-dwelling day traders of Hacker News that they're just one algorithm away from beating George Soros at his own game. “Create, save, and share valuation models” – because your random assumptions need an audience! Commenters tripped over themselves to critique not the ludicrous outputs – like a projected stock price increase of 37,009,556,296,378,460% – but the rudimentary financial literacy on display. Because why not debate the semantics of a model that suggests buying stocks in companies apparently poised to become wealthier than entire galaxies. 🚀💸😂
144 points by trevzercap 2024-05-17T17:59:22 | 92 comments
13. ▲ The Unusual Evolutionary Journey of the Baobab Tree (nytimes.com)
On the eminent digital pages of the New York Times, armchair botanists and casual readers alike are treated to a thrilling saga titled The Unusual Evolutionary Journey of the Baobab Tree. The article meticulously chronicles these trees as if they’re wayward celebrities dabbling in evolutionary novelties rather than century-old flora. Comment sections have erupted into a battleground where self-proclaimed tree huggers and skeptics swap low-effort puns and half-baked analogies about survival, blissfully unaware that the real survival challenge lies in enduring their attempts at humor. Could there be a more profound metaphor for human existence than a bunch of Internet strangers missing the forest for the baobabs? 🌳😂
13 points by Petiver 2024-05-15T22:23:07 | 0 comments
14. ▲ LoRA Learns Less and Forgets Less (arxiv.org)
Today in utterly unsurprising news, nerds on the internet discover again that *more parameters might just mean better results*, as detailed in a deep dive into the shocking world of trained matrix subsets. 🙄 The boffins over at arXiv, with their groundbreaking paper on LoRA's optimal training configurations, leave math-hungry commenters salivating over the tantalizing possibility that *maybe, just maybe*, fine-tuning everything isn’t just a wild goose chase. Watch as comments scatter wildly between fanboying over MLPs, debating the ethical implications of attention head neglect, and fantasizing about a world where random matrix training might revolutionize their basement projects. Buckle up for another rollercoaster ride through the thrilling ups and profound downvotes of machine learning’s finest echo chamber. 🎢💻
126 points by wolecki 2024-05-17T13:00:55 | 38 comments
15. ▲ Expedia Group fired their CTO, Rathi Murthy (phocuswire.com)
Expedia Group, in a display of corporate acumen as finely honed as a bendy straw, has bid farewell to their CTO, Rathi Murthy. Commenters, armed with the insight of seasoned LinkedIn influencers, are shedding their usual light on proceedings by stringing together business jargon in a devastating attempt to sound knowledgeable. One could hardly tell if they're discussing a CTO firing or providing deep critiques on a soggy sandwich. "Disruptive innovation," cries one. "Synergistic paradigms," wails another. Meanwhile, the travel booking experience continues to be as enjoyable as a root canal.
33 points by s3r3nity 2024-05-17T21:14:31 | 9 comments
16. ▲ Show QN: Drivr – VR with real vehicles [video] (youtube.com)
In a daring fusion of reality and pixelated daydreams, "Drivr" promises to reinvent the wheel by making sure it's virtually unrecognizable. Enthusiasts will no doubt flock to this technological marvel, possibly mistaking the seismic tremors of virtual collisions for the much-needed thrill missing from their sedentary digital lives. The aspirational commentariat, in bewitched rapture, eagerly volunteers their bodies as tribute to the noble cause of debugging vehicular code while blindfolded with VR headsets. Forward-thinking or forward-crashing—only time will tell if "Drivr" is leading society to a dazzling virtual utopia or just another high-tech way to run into a very real ditch. 🕹️💥🚗
52 points by greghgradwell 2024-05-16T19:19:16 | 20 comments
17. ▲ Ask QN: What is the most productive stack or lang for single devs ?
**Ask HN: I Invented a New Stack, But Did I Really?**

Today on Hacker News, a lone warrior ascends the technological Tower of Babel to proclaim the virtues of the "HAG stack," a mystic acronym that combines obsolete menu selections from the software development buffet. Enthusiastic commenters chime in with their own tribal chants like "Ruby on RoR forever" and "SvelteKit or bust," because why not treat programming languages like sports teams? Amidst the cacophony, someone mentions using Google's distroless images for extra hipster points, while another reminisces about teaching middle schoolers—clearly the target audience for this discussion. No one knows what the "most productive stack" actually means, but everyone is too busy posturing to care. 👨‍💻🔮
25 points by arromatic 2024-05-16T08:52:47 | 36 comments
18. ▲ Scholars discover rare 16th-century tome with handwritten notes by John Milton (arstechnica.com)
**Scholars excavate John Milton's grocery list**
In a stunning display of academic fervor, archaeologists at ars technica unearth a dusty tome scribbled on by none other than John Milton, presumed to be his secret diary but turns out it's just his margin notes. Internet sleuths immediately elevate squiggly 'r's to the status of Da Vinci's code, while literary enthusiasts wedge Paradise Lost quotes wherever possible to justify their liberal arts degrees. Commenters, in a desperate bid to appear intellectual, battle over the interpretations of Milton's shopping habits while simultaneously Googling "What is r rotunda?" Let's all take a moment to ponder how ‘malt does more than Milton can’ to justify today’s internet escapades.
39 points by nobody9999 2024-05-16T03:03:41 | 3 comments
19. ▲ Ideas and Creativity (2019) (rieck.me)
**Hackernews Digest: Toddler Wisdom and Magical Creativity Machines**

In a daring escape from reality, the latest blog post on "Ideas and Creativity" treats creativity like an enigmatic potion in a high-fantasy novel - either you're born with it, or you're a muggle. The author, heavily armed with buzzwords and vague notions, endeavors to demystify this magical ability, encouraging us mere mortals to partake in "proven" techniques like summoning the ancient spirits of brainstorming and mind maps. Commenters, in a delightful display of pretentious one-upmanship, recount tales from their own creative quests, comparing epiphanies to mastering the arcane arts. Each response unintentionally competing for the crown of 'Most Likely to Be Quoted at a TEDx Near You', they all seem to agree: true creativity died around the time we stopped eating glue in kindergarten. 🎨💡📚
85 points by Pseudomanifold 2024-05-17T12:59:34 | 18 comments
20. ▲ The Beauty of Concrete (worksinprogress.co)
Welcome to *Worksinprogressdotconcrete*, where human architectural ambition is laid bare in the thrilling contemplation of... concrete. In an article daringly titled 'The Beauty of Concrete,' the author laments the reduction of our skyline to squares over swirls, attributing this decline not to costs, but to a collective architectural yawn. Comment sections flare with enthusiasts confusing their backyard botanical escapism for profound urban planning insights, arguing that our brains—which were apparently delighting in garden variety during city walks—are starved for the complexities of yore. Meanwhile, a rebel without a clue suggests bypassing pricey 3D printing for DIY statuary, missing the memo that nobody's lawn has yearned for cheap knockoffs of the Venus de Milo. 🤷‍♂️💔🏛️
50 points by jger15 2024-05-17T15:09:15 | 23 comments
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