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1. Anyone can access deleted and private repository data on GitHub (trufflesecurity.com)
**GitHub's Private Repository Party: Open to All**

GitHub, in an endless loop of ineptitude, reassures users that sticking your private data in a communal dumpster is "as intended." Discerning hackers rejoice at GitHub’s public service of making private code effortlessly accessible, while GitHub pats itself on the ever-expanding back for maintaining "low risk" leaks. Meanwhile, internet commenters engage in Olympic-level mental gymnastics trying to redefine "fork" without offending the dictionary. Hats off to everyone rediscovering the ancient art of copying and pasting whole repositories. 🎩💾
930 points by __0x1__ 2024-07-24T18:24:02 | 185 comments
2. Dungeons and Dragons taught me how to write alt text (ericwbailey.website)

Grinding the Nostalgia Gear: A ROMP of D&D and Alt Text Revelation



Prepare to embark on the remarkable journey of connecting pen-and-paper nostalgia to the riveting world of alt text, presented by an ex-adventurer of the dice-clattering dungeons who now battles the fiercer foe of web accessibility. In a show of true bravery, the author claims that spending teenage years not as a delusional murderer (thanks for the baseline, Hanks), but playing Dungeons & Dragons somehow makes him a seasoned veteran in the art of describing images online. Our insightful cargo shorts-wearing web knights spill almost as much wisdom in the comments as our loremaster does in the article. They wax lyrical about everything from the tactical use of verbs in digital descriptions to the profound narrative choices in Dungeon World, yet still find time for a heated debate on whether a character would survive a hypothetical fall without a rulebook to save them.



As the readers eagerly swap tales of D&D daring-do and meta discussions about alt text best practices, the internet breathes a collective sigh of relief that someone finally connected table-top RPGs with web design. We indeed live in enlightened times.

93 points by ohjeez 2024-07-24T20:35:49 | 26 comments
3. A Multimodal Dataset with One Trillion Tokens (github.com/mlfoundations)
In an exhilarating leap that no one asked for, Salesforce decides to throw a trillion tokens into a "dataset" melding academic papers and PDFs, birthing the monstrosity named MINT-1T. Commenters, bewitched by the sheer size, debate the philosophical implications of tokenizing the universe, while openly salivating over the free Salesforce merch disguised as a research breakthrough. A few brave souls ponder the ethics and legalities, but are quickly sidetracked by the technical razzle-dazzle of encoding bytes as... more tokens. 🤯 Behold, the pinnacle of stuffing square pegs into round holes: data science edition!
102 points by kulikalov 2024-07-24T20:04:24 | 17 comments
4. Phish-friendly domain registry ".top" put on notice (krebsonsecurity.com)
In a gripping saga no one asked for, the custodians of the digital junkyard called .top are put on notice by ICANN for nurturing an impressive ecosystem of phishing sites. True to form, their response time rivals that of a geriatric turtle, promising action by mid-2024, presumably to give phishers an ample heads-up. Meanwhile, commenters descend into chaotic tales of inexplicable TLD choices like .zip, sparking profound debates about whether a ZIP file can, in fact, jump out of your screen and mug you. If nothing else, this festive exchange of ignorance serves as a reminder that no matter how deep in the weeds of internet governance we get, someone will always miss the point entirely. Cue the facepalms 🤦‍♂️.
135 points by LinuxBender 2024-07-24T16:03:30 | 93 comments
5. Alexa is in millions of households and Amazon is losing billions (wsj.com)
In a stunning display of economic hara-kiri, Amazon continues to hemorrhage billions while keeping Alexa as a glorified kitchen timer in millions of homes. The glowing boardroom dreams of consumers yelling "Buy me random overpriced goods without showing me what I'm actually buying" haven't quite panned out, much to the shock of... well, no one. Meanwhile, in the Amazonian chaos of comment sections, beleaguered users swap tales of anarchic price fluctuations and reminisce about the good old days of uneventful shopping at literal stores. "Bring back predictable pricing," cries a lost soul, unaware that their plea echoes into the void of a universe where Amazon's business model remains as enigmatic as a bag of mystery Tide Pods. 😱📦💸
208 points by marban 2024-07-23T05:54:39 | 435 comments
6. When eyesight fades and climbing provides comfort (lacrux.com)
In an emotional revelation, lacrux.com tries to convince its three readers that going rock climbing is the best solution to failing eyesight. In what can only be described as an eye-opening experience (pun *intensely* intended), climbers with poor vision apparently find profound solace by not seeing the sheer drop below them. Commenters, emboldened by the anonymity of their screen names and the comfort of their ergonomic gaming chairs, compete to outdo each other with tales of "once I climbed with a blindfold." Apparently, the less you see, the more you feel—unless it's common sense.
19 points by bryanrasmussen 2024-07-21T14:17:01 | 0 comments
7. Hiding Linux Processes with Bind Mounts (righteousit.com)
In a staggering showcase of ingenuity, an intrepid blogger at *Righteous IT* unveils the revolutionary concept of using bind mounts to hide your most nefarious Linux processes. Apparently, if you're savvy enough to manipulate /proc/PID directories, you're also just steps away from becoming a bonafide cyber-sorcerer who can bend reality (or at least your system's perception of it). The comment section, a veritable warren of armchair developers, outdoes itself in concocting increasingly elaborate ways to hide their "totally not malicious, I swear" processes. Suggestions range from tweaking kernels to crafting entire fake file systems, because 💥obviously💥 when you have root access, why not reimagine the whole OS as a personal playground of deceit? 🎭
78 points by indigodaddy 2024-07-24T15:52:06 | 35 comments
8. Biological Circuit Design (biocircuits.github.io)
Welcome to the latest technological snoozefest at Biological Circuit Design, where expertly pasting graphics qualifies you as a cutting-edge engineer. 📉 The virtuosos of vague, funded by the endless pockets of the Rosen Bioengineering Center, have cobbled together a labyrinth of chapters and appendices, hoping to teach the next generation of students how to build a biomorphic abacus. Meanwhile, in the comments section, the clueless lead the muddled in a merry dance around whether this rocket science is for first-year plebs or jaded doctoral candidates. "Advanced yet basic, like my high school relationship status," quips a philosopher king from MIT. 🎓🤷‍♏️
70 points by drones 2024-07-24T16:22:58 | 21 comments
9. Space-filling curves, constructively (andrej.com)
**Hilbert Curves: A Legacy of Overachievement in Under-explained Mathematics**

In a daring throwback to 1890, andrej.com decides it's high time to explain space-filling curves, constructively, proving yet again that some blogs truly are immune to the charms of brevity. Peano and Hilbert did it in less than five pages combined, but why miss the chance to stretch a simple concept into a multimedia experience? The comment section blossoms into an orgy of one-upmanship where each commenter boasts about more obscure uses of these mathematical marvels, from Geohashes to database indexing, turning what could have been a simple discussion into a flex-off in applied topology. Unsurprisingly, no one can agree if these applications are revolutionary or just relics, but everyone's excited to argue about it. ☕️🤓
46 points by luu 2024-07-24T17:20:44 | 14 comments
10. The Puzzle of How Large-Scale Order Emerges in Complex Systems (wired.com)
**Wired Wonders Why the World Works Without Wizardry**

Ah, the age-old question of why chaos isn't just a chaotic mess gets the Wired treatment, and ambitious browsers are surely gasping for air under the weight of complexity theory served as a light brunch. In a gallant attempt to stitch together Jupiter’s storms, your overworked neurons, and pedestrian dance choreography, the magazine inadvertently spins up a cyclone of technobabble that promises to explain exactly nothing with maximum verbosity. Commenters, not to be outdone in the intellectual cyclone derby, throw around terms like "self-organization" and "synergistic phenomena," casually pretending that they didn’t just Google them five minutes before sounding off. Yet, the vortex of understanding remains as elusive as ever, unintentionally mirroring the article’s subject—a beautiful, swirling mystery of chaos and pseudo-intellectual posturing. 🌀
24 points by achristmascarl 2024-07-22T16:47:10 | 3 comments
11. Physicists may now have a way to make element 120 (newscientist.com)
**Physicists Fumble for Element 120: A Comedy of Errors and Protons**

In a thrilling twist of not-so-groundbreaking science, hardworking physicists have discovered a precarious method to maybe, just maybe, create the elusive element 120. Equipped with their surprise, shock, and utter fulfillment in not outright botching the instrumentation setup, the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory team is on a rollicking path from barely making element livermorium to dreaming up heavier, unstable atoms that most of humanity won't remember or care about. Meanwhile, in the comments, armchair physicists confuse neutron stars with electrons and laws of physics with their personal speculations. Someone inevitably attempts to mend the physics community's understanding of gravitational pull and quantum mechanics, while most readers are likely struggling just to spell "Chandrasekhar Limit" correctly. Bravo, science enthusiasts, bravo! 🥴👨‍🔬💫
104 points by _Microft 2024-07-24T13:06:41 | 120 comments
12. Solving the out-of-context chunk problem for RAG (d-star.ai)
In a groundbreaking display of technobabble, a recent divine revelation posted online claims to address the "out-of-context chunk problem" for RAG, leaving technophiles and casual observers alike wondering what in holy computation that even means. Commenters, riding high on their virtual high horses, engage in a fiercely pedantic slap-fight over semantic trivialities, showcasing the peak intellectual horsepower required to miss the point entirely. Somewhere, a server farm weeps silently for the wasted electricity powering this thrilling escapade. Embrace the entropy. 🙃
196 points by zmccormick7 2024-07-22T13:44:19 | 68 comments
13. InteractiVenn – Interactive Venn Diagrams (interactivenn.net)
Title: "InteractiVenn – Where Overlaps Meet Overkill"

In an exciting world where Venn diagrams are not just for middle school projectors anymore, InteractiVenn attempts to make you feel productive by letting you tweak and export .svg files. Passionate users debate the aesthetics of asymmetry in six-set diagrams, lamenting missed opportunities for "simple lists" while citing hefty bioinformatics research papers just to sound smart. In the comments, tech hobbyists engage in Olympic-level mental gymnastics debating the theoretical bounds of Venn diagrams in 3D, because who needs reality when you have hypothetical set visualizations? Meanwhile, suggestions for real-world applications veer off into niche use cases for games, showcasing a perfect blend of effort and unnecessary complexity that would make Rube Goldberg proud.
72 points by histories 2024-07-24T14:57:14 | 10 comments
14. The Assyrian Renaissance (archaeology.org)
In an effort not to be outdone by the latest riveting episodes of reality TV, archaeology enthusiasts rediscover the "Assyrian Renaissance," a period most famed for its groundbreaking innovations in beard sculpting and stone tablet emojis. Pseudo-historians and weekend Indiana Joneses flood the comments section, flaunting their Google-acquired PhDs in Mesopotamian trivia. They feverishly debate whether ancient Assyrians enjoyed their latte with almond or soy milk, bringing crucial insights into a civilization that definitely cares about 21st-century dietary fads. 🧐📜💬
13 points by Caiero 2024-07-19T05:15:13 | 0 comments
15. Rediscovering Transaction Processing from History and First Principles (tigerbeetle.com)
**Rediscovering Transaction Processing from History and Making It Even More Complicated**

In an astonishing display of technobabble that marries the past with self-congratulatory future tech jargon, an intrepid CEO at TigerBeetle breaks new ground by turning a mundane limitation into a stellar $24M Series A funding event. Amidst the nostalgia of unraveling old computer science papers, they miraculously repurpose what we already didn’t understand from Turing Award winners into an even more convoluted transaction processing engine dubbed 'TigerBeetle'. Commenters leap into action, either puzzled by why this isn't just a PostgreSQL extension, or overjoyed to mingle at tech dinners with strangers from old forum threads. The accumulated mental gymnastics to justify not using established tech are as dizzying as they are unnecessary. 🤓💸💔
52 points by todsacerdoti 2024-07-23T10:52:57 | 12 comments
16. Why Discover is no American Express (popularfintech.com)
In the latest credit card cage match on popularfintech.com, “Why Discover is no American Express”, the world is treated to the shocking revelation that paying more often gets you more. Commenters emerge from the woodwork to flex their anecdotal armor, with tales of Discover’s inadequacies running wild like a sitcom plot from the '90s. One spirited soul applauds a Futurama clip as prophetic gospel, while another pens a mournful elegy to the days when AmEx wrestled a volcano and won. Brace yourself for the tragic saga of credit card users who can't let go of the past, narrating their financial choices with the drama usually reserved for an opera. 🎻🎭
87 points by kazanins 2024-07-21T14:28:35 | 164 comments
17. A Multimodal Automated Interpretability Agent (arxiv.org)
🚀 Welcome to the latest round of Silicon Valley's favorite game: *Make the Human Obsolete*. Today's unlucky contestant? The "Multimodal Automated Interpretability Agent (MAIA)." Positioned as the new savior of AI oversight, MAIA can't even verify its own system performance, much less replace your cranky IT supervisor. Commenters excitedly stack hypothetical turtles, pondering whether AI can finally outsmart human bias, or just generate cooler cat pictures without the existential dread. Despite concerns, promises of revolutionary AI features continue, mostly to ensure everyone has a fancy title on their LinkedIn. Stay tuned for the next episode of "Now, Why Did We Trust AI Again?" 🤔
55 points by el_duderino 2024-07-24T12:42:53 | 3 comments
18. Show QN: Hooper – AI-driven stats and highlights for basketball play (hooper.gg)
Title: Show HN: Hooper – AI-driven stats for Every Wannabe Hoops Star

This week on Hacker News, a brave soul pitches Hooper, an AI miracle that promises the average Joe can finally track his airballs and double dribbles with the same pixie dust previously reserved for NBA titans. Because clearly, what your local pickup game was missing was a computer to tell you your 10% shooting accuracy in cringeworthy digital clarity. Comments morph quickly from mild tech enthusiasm to a dunk contest of sarcasm, as every D-league dreamer imagines becoming the next LeBron with nothing but an app and a dream. "Revolutionary," they claim, while typing up their player stats that decidedly prove otherwise. 🏀🤖📉
9 points by grub007 2024-07-24T21:39:55 | 0 comments
19. The Origin of Emacs in 1976 (onlisp.co.uk)
**The Origin of Ancient Computing Rituals: EMACS as a Sacred Cow**

Today, onlisp.co.uk drops a groundbreaking revelation: EMACS was created in the 1970s 📅. Shocking, right? Armed with printed emails and quotes from the digital tomb, the article rehashes what ten minutes on Wikipedia could tell you, but with more dead links. Commenters pioneer their own archaeological digs, debating ancient syntax like misinformed Indiana Joneses. One dares to suggest that programming without modern tools 'might' not be efficient, igniting a cavalcade of nostalgic essays and corrections over minor details. Can you feel the thrill of subjects so exhaustingly retread they fossilize before your eyes? ☠️ Who needs action movies when you have vintage email formats to dissect?
211 points by rhabarba 2024-07-24T00:49:26 | 93 comments
20. Large Enough – Mistral AI (mistral.ai)
**Large Enough – An Exercise in AI Redundancy**

Today, the release of Mistral Large 2 and Llama 3.1 has set AI chat forums ablaze with discussions that manage to be both mundane and feverish, as tech enthusiasts contest in a modern Olympiad of inconsequence. Forget the Turing Test—today’s AI must pass the Strawberry R Counting Challenge and justify why your grandmother’s iPad can’t run next-gen language models without catching fire. The commenters, in their infinite wisdom, mused on Claude’s shortcomings, the outrageous cost of processing tokens, and whether inserting punctuation into words might trick our silicon overlords into basic literacy. Because, of course, the future of AI isn’t about solving real-world problems—it's about ensuring your scripted conversation about berries is technically accurate.
553 points by davidbarker 2024-07-24T15:32:21 | 430 comments
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