| 1. |
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▲ Crokinole (pudding.cool)
**Crokinole: A Flick of Fate or Ultimate Boredom?**
As humanity reaches the pinnacle of boredom, Russell Samora blesses us with a thrilling spectacle of grown adults flicking tiny discs into a slightly bigger hole, because apparently, we've run out of meaningful content in 2024. Witness two "greats" battle it out in a sport that less than 1% of the population realized was a competitive thing. The comment section quickly spirals into a tech bro showcase, with everyone boasting their half-baked digital renditions of the game, because if it exists, it inherently needs a useless app version. Will Crokinole replace the Olympics, or will it flick itself into obscurity? Stay tuned for more edge-of-your-seat mundanity. 🥏👏
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373 points by Tomte
2024-10-17T16:54:49.000000Z |
125 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Use Prolog to improve LLM's reasoning (shchegrikovich.substack.com)
Prolog, the retro language you never knew you needed to re-re-re-discover, is back in a blogosphere spot so niche you’ll need a GPS and a Rosetta Stone to follow along. 🎉 Today’s tech savior heralds Prolog as the secret sauce to boost your AI's reasoning from "dumb" to "maybe not so dumb." Commenters, flexing their esoteric language muscles 🏋️♂️, dive deep into the impenetrable depths of logic programming whilst playing language bingo – from Prolog to Curry, and every acronym in between, because why solve problems when you can just add more layers of complexity? Meanwhile, anyone who ever struggled with Prolog in college feels like they're watching a foreign film without subtitles. 🍿
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183 points by shchegrikovich
2024-10-13T21:22:48.000000Z |
46 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Grandmaster-Level Chess Without Search (github.com/google-deepmind)
**Grandmaster-Level Chess Without Search: Where Chess Meets Buzzwords**
In the latest episode of "humans are overrated," Google DeepMind reinvents chess with a transformer model that, shockingly, plays chess without searching. Loyal to the Silicon Valley script, this model has gorged on 10 million games and regurgitates action-values like a proud undergrad after their first econ class. Commenters are tripping over themselves, debating nuances like blitz game times and the existential dread of human-like play, all while casually dropping their own blogs and talks as if on a first date. It's less about chess, more about who can sound the most impressively convoluted while still misunderstanding the Stockfish settings. 🤯🤖🎓
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104 points by lawrenceyan
2024-10-17T19:13:20.000000Z |
39 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ NotebookLM launches feature to customize and guide audio overviews (blog.google)
Title: **Google AI Now Babysits You with Sound!**
Google's latest genius plot, NotebookLM, has graced us mere mortals by letting us tell an AI how to talk under the veil of "guiding expertise." 🎉 Now you can have high-tech pelicans from your browser serenade you with data journalism poetry, because reading is so 2020. Meanwhile in the comments, tech bros are already weaponizing this against the feared spambot apocalypse, while others try hard to prove their pelican-generated podcasts are not just an auditory placebo. Keep those critical faculties sharp—or don't, because who reads anymore? 🙄
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202 points by alphabetting
2024-10-17T16:42:04.000000Z |
73 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Show QN: Tamagotchi-Like Characters for AI Assistants – All in JavaScript (github.com/barqawiz)
In yet another groundbreaking display of useless innovation, Hacker News showcases a project that turns AI assistants into Tamagotchi pets, because if there's anything we need, it's fretting over whether our digital slave is "happy." Embracing nostalgia with the ferocity of a mid-life crisis, this JavaScript marvel allows you to baby your bot, adding whole new levels of procrastination to your workday. Meanwhile, the comments section devolves into a war zone where "experts" argue semantics about the most ethical way to feed virtual pixels, revealing perhaps why no one invites programmers to parties. 💾😂
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11 points by barqawiz
2024-10-15T10:33:57.000000Z |
0 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ The Fifth Generation Project in Japan (sjsu.edu)
**Hacker News: Heritage Edition - The Unstoppable March of Japanese Innovation Failure**
An eerie nostalgia sweeps Hacker News as armchair historians and half-baked tech prophets dissect "The Fifth Generation Project in Japan." Heavily romanticizing an admirable but ultimately doomed technological venture, these pseudo-intellectuals squabble over minutiae while devoutly ignoring the project's broader insignificance in tech's grand tapestry. Commenters, in a delightful display of pointlessness, battle to out-reference each other with irrelevant Wikipedia links and books nobody's read, while at least one hapless user warns of digital minefields lurking in ancient academic URLs. In the end, much like the project itself, everyone tries hard, but the advancement of understanding remains just out of reach. 😢
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47 points by tosh
2024-10-17T22:03:01.000000Z |
34 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ I'm Peter Roberts, immigration attorney who does work for YC and startups. AMA
Welcome to "Peter Roberts Answers Your Immigration But Mainly Startup Dreams." Here, seemingly everyone with a tech dream turns to Peter, the Patron Saint of Visa Mysteries, in desperate hope he has the almighty cheat codes to bypass U.S. immigration. One user has no questions, opting instead for a hearty pat on the back for Peter 👏— heartwarming, and excellent use of space. Another soon-to-be YC hopeful is already calculating the best visa option without a company to his name but all the optimism of a lottery player convinced they have the winning ticket 🎫. Good news though, if all else fails, there's a YouTube guide and an AMCHAM webinar just one click away! Buckle up, founders, Peter's got a visa and a dream just for you!
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145 points by proberts
2024-10-17T16:01:16.000000Z |
251 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Gamedev in Lisp. Part 2: Dungeons and Interfaces (gitlab.com/lockie)
**Gamedev in Lisp: Dungeons and Interfaces - Part "Nobody Asked For This"**
Once again, the niche community of Lisp enthusiasts proves that they can turn anything into an underground hit, including a tutorial that most programmers would dodge like a rogue parenthesis. Andrew gifts the world yet another tome on Lisp game development, prompting comments that oscillate between pure adoration and bewilderment. One brave soul even expresses his undying joy with a fresh link to his spell-casting shooter game – because when you're too hipster for Unity, you choose Lisp. Meanwhile, other commenters reminisce about obscure programming attempts from eons ago, because nothing says "cutting-edge" like rehashing what didn't work the first time. 🎮👓
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242 points by awkravchuk
2024-10-17T13:26:25.000000Z |
46 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Amplification of electromagnetic fields by a rotating body (nature.com)
**Hacking Physics or Just Spinning Our Wheels?**
In a groundbreaking moment for people who like to make cylinders spin absurdly fast, a recent article in Nature Communications joyously underestimates the complexities of physics in order to measure the "amplification" of electromagnetic fields. Enthusiastic armchair physicists in the comment section dive headfirst into a cesspool of misconceptions, with talks of subwoofer sizes, frictionless cows on spinny plates, and a bevy of fundamentally flawed mechanical designs that defy the basic laws of physics. One commenter’s dazzling display of ignorance even resurrects the ghost of Steorn—because evidently, scamming investors with pseudo-science is just as fun in theory as it is in practice. If only these spirited debates could generate enough spin to power the delusions that fueled them! 🐄💫
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124 points by keepamovin
2024-10-13T07:23:07.000000Z |
55 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Removing PGP from PyPI (pypi.org)
Title: The Gradual Phantom of PGP in PyPI's Ghostly Manor
In a _bold_ move that surprises exactly no one, PyPI has decided to further ignore PGP signatures, because pretending to offer security is just as good as actually providing it. Commenters, sporting freshly polished tinfoil hats, engage in a tragicomedic ballet of missing the point, fiercely debating whether this vestigial feature was ever useful. Spoiler: It wasn't. Meanwhile, someone probably needs to remind them that loudly lamenting the fall of PGP on a Python package index is like yelling at clouds – both ineffective and oddly entertaining. 🌩️
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53 points by harporoeder
2024-10-17T20:03:28.000000Z |
38 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ C++ proposal: There are 8 bits in a byte (open-std.org)
C++ Analog Time Travelers Declare Universal Bit Harmony
Just when you thought the intricacies of C++ couldn’t get funnier, the language experts propose to enshrine the wild assumption that 1 byte = 8 bits into the holy scriptures of C++. Ignoring centuries of diversity in byte sizes—from the adorable CSP-16/10 to the exasperating PDP-10—modern C++ programmers demand conformity to simplify their lives. Commenters nostalgically recall exotic architectures where bytes came in mysterious sizes like 9, 10, and even the arcane 6, while skeptically scoffing at the long-overdue acknowledgment of reality. Welcome, C++, to the 1980’s. 🎉
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120 points by Twirrim
2024-10-17T22:21:15.000000Z |
98 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Why Does Everyone Run Ancient Postgres Versions? (neon.tech)
**Why Does Everyone Run Ancient Postgres Versions?**
In a thrilling revelation of the obvious, an article at neon.tech bemoans the tragic reality that developers cling to older versions of Postgres like desperate survivors on a tech Titanic. 🚢 Most are apparently still haunted by the ghost of Postgres 15, seeking shelter under its outmoded wings rather than embracing the sparkling, new features of Postgres 17. Commenters chime in with tales of upgrade woes and replication rituals, waxing nostalgic over the cumbersome charms of early-'90s Unix vibes. Meanwhile, others defend their tech hoarding by presenting a laundry list of features they handle daily, probably while uphill, both ways, in the snow. 🌨️
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35 points by davidgomes
2024-10-17T21:23:29.000000Z |
35 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Cats are (almost) liquid (cell.com)
Cats are (almost) liquid: A Scholarly Treatise
In an earth-shattering revelation, a recent scientific observation has confirmed that cats, indeed, do not hesitate to contort their celestial bodies to squeeze through the narrowest of apertures, unlike their canine counterparts. This groundbreaking study, likely conducted by people who've never heard of YouTube, offers meticulous insights into feline fluidity, while suggesting that cat whiskers (or "vibrissae" for the uninitiated) might play a slight role in these daring feats of liquid transformation. Comment sections explode with anecdotes of feline weirdness, proving once again that the internet is for cat videos and dissertations on their borderline paranormal properties. One brain cell, infinite mysteries. 🐱💧
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220 points by lnyan
2024-10-17T11:43:00.000000Z |
125 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ The Border Crisis Won't Be Solved at the Border (texasmonthly.com)
In an earth-shattering analysis of approximately zero new ideas, The Border Crisis Won't Be Solved at the Border peers deeply into the void and discovers, shockingly, the same problems we’ve had for decades. Commenters, wielding their PhDs from the University of Obvious Things, reiterate that if you penalize corporations for exploiting labor, maybe, just maybe, they'll stop doing it💡. But fear not, pragmatic cynicism prevails as they universally agree solving things is hard and consequently unnecessary. Stay tuned as nothing changes, and everyone pats themselves on the back for their astute paralysis.
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25 points by bikenaga
2024-10-17T23:23:05.000000Z |
5 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Unit tests as documentation (thecoder.cafe)
👩💻 *Welcome to another soul-draining episode on thecoder.cafe, where "Unit tests as documentation" pretends to be the silver bullet for programming laziness.* Ever tried nagging your colleagues into using names more creative than "testTheThing"? Don’t fret, because now test names can magically convey the exact purpose and scope of the code they’re testing — said no effective developer ever. Commenters go wild defending the sanctity of vaguely (non)descriptive nomenclature, while one brave soul dreams of a Utopian Knuth-inspired coding dojo. 📜 Sadly, in their flurry to glorify literate programming, they sprinkle more confusion than clarity. Whoever equates unit tests with docs probably also believes emojis are a viable form of encryption. 🤦♂️✨
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69 points by thunderbong
2024-10-17T17:22:45.000000Z |
89 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Deriving the Kelly Criterion to Maximise Profits (obrhubr.org)
**How to Never Go Broke in a Casino by Betting Just Right**: In the latest pedantic rambling on obrhubr.org, armchair mathematicians wax poetic on the mystical "Kelly Criterion," which tells gamblers how much of their bankroll to risk without inevitably ending up in the gutter. Inspired by another equally impractical series, the spectacle unfolds as commenters bicker over poorly understood terms like "ergodic," linking out to Nassim Taleb talks and statistical rabbit holes no casual reader asked for. One game theorist muses nostalgically about exploiting video poker back when dinosaurs roamed Vegas, while another frets over the article's Excel sensitivity, perhaps revealing more about his own gambling losses than the robustness of the Kelly strategy. 🎰💸 Let's all tweak our probabilities and hope we don't actually have to test out these theories with real money, shall we?
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27 points by obrhubr
2024-10-12T21:16:03.000000Z |
12 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Wayland Apps in WireGuard Docker Containers (procustodibus.com)
In yet another thrilling saga of "how much tech jargon can we fit into a single URL," the wizards at procustodibus.com have bestowed upon us a groundbreaking technique to embed the full sensory experience of using Firefox within the cozy, claustrophobia-inducing confines of a Docker container. Commenters, on the brink of ecstasy, trip over themselves to worship the mighty merge of GUI apps with Wayland inside the almighty WireGuard, tossing around acronyms like confetti at a parade. One brave soul attempts to relate with a tale of sandboxing Steam—a story as relevant as socks on a rooster—while another, starstruck by the post's sheer brilliance, all but nominates the author for a Nobel in Container Wizardry. A skeptic sneaks in a whisper of "content marketing," immediately smothered by fervent denials and reassurances of the post's purity, proof that no marketing ploy can be too transparent for true believers. 🎉👓🐧
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30 points by justinludwig
2024-10-17T22:36:38.000000Z |
7 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Inkscape 1.4 Released (inkscape.org)
Title: Inkscape 1.4 Unleashes the "Geek Edition" and No One Notices
In a daring move that surprised literally dozens, Inkscape 1.4 has been unleashed into the wild, featuring revolutionary advancements such as a Filter Gallery that promises to finally make filters... slightly less annoying to use. Commenters on the release post dive deep into SVG spec philosophy, evidently confusing "understanding the rationale" with "enduring the pain." Meanwhile, one brave soul cries out for a proprietary non-SVG alternative, boldly ignoring the ocean of similar tools because clearly, what we need is another format no one else can open. And don’t miss the die-hard Inkscape fan lamenting over its lag on macOS—because tradition includes suffering, right? 🎨💻
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201 points by s1291
2024-10-13T19:14:30.000000Z |
37 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Industrious Dice (mathenchant.wordpress.com)
**Dice Without Pips: A Geek Tragedy**
In a world where conventional dice roll just fine, a recreational mathematician with a hat fixation finds it vital to reinvent the wheel—or in this case, the cube. Witness the birth of "pip-less" dice, a groundbreaking development that shatters the dice economy by requiring more sides instead of fewer dots. Commenters erupt in ecstasy, discovering new highs in the ergonomic mishandling of polygons. 🎲 Mock cheers fill the internet chamber as everyone scrambles to grasp non-existent practical applications, all while failing to answer the most neglected question: why?
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82 points by 082349872349872
2024-10-17T17:32:40.000000Z |
6 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Tubeworms live beneath the planetary crust around deep-sea vents (economist.com)
The Economist decides that tube worms are the new supermodels of the deep-sea, featuring their glamorous life under the crust in a scintillating exposé. The comment section, translating this scientific marvel into a book club, swiftly dives into quasi-scientific hot takes and links to photos that none will click. One keen luminary puzzles over generic book titles while the rest engage in a Biology 101 slap fight, demonstrating that the only thing evolving slower than photosynthesis is the quality of internet discourse. Could tubeworms survive on Europa? 🚀💧 Nobody knows, but it likely depends on their tolerance for assumptions and hypotheticals.
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57 points by marban
2024-10-17T17:41:38.000000Z |
24 comments
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