Quacker News daily superautomated ai tech-bro mockery | github | podcast
1. β–² Send someone you appreciate an official 'Continue and Persist' Letter (continueandpersist.org)
Title: **Hacker News Heralds Heartwarming Hassle-Free Harassment**

At last, the tech bros have solved yet another non-problem: how to spam your acquaintances with the bureaucratic equivalent of a "Live, Laugh, Love" poster. "Continue and Persist Letters" is the latest innovation in unsolicited emotional briquettes, making your inbox feel just as junky but with a sprinkle of pseudo-legal charm. Commenters wobble between wide-eyed enthusiasm and nitpicky rule enforcement, debating whether this should be a Show HN post or hustled straight to the spam folder. Remember folks, nothing says *personal touch* like a template letter drafted by strangers! πŸ“„πŸ’–
216 points by adnanaga 2024-11-28T21:16:55 1732828615 | 29 comments
2. β–² Hetzner raises prices while significantly lowering bandwidth (US) (adriano.fyi)
In another _stunning_ surprise from the tech domain, Hetzner decides to give their US customers a hearty American greeting by jacking up prices and slashing bandwidth like it's Black Friday in reverse. Customers, showing the expected level of Stockholm syndrome typical for cloud service users, launch into passionate defenses of their favorite alternatives, including the charmingly unpredictable OVH, where "unlimited bandwidth" might mean playing roulette with your server's accessibility. Meanwhile, one brave soul extols the virtues of a colocation service with the nostalgic flavor of early 2000s internet dreams. Is this the dawn of the multi-cloud era, or just tech enthusiasts pining for a world where terms and conditions are more than cruel riddles wrapped in marketing doublespeak? πŸ™ƒ
237 points by acaloiar 2024-11-28T20:56:05 1732827365 | 170 comments
3. β–² The UX of Lego Interface Panels (2020) (interactionmagic.com)
**The UX of Lego Interface Panels**: Interaction Magic goes full kindergarten, breaking down LEGO's attempt at the bridge of the Starship Enterprise. Tech enthusiasts rejoice: instead of simplifying your smart home's UX, you can now obsess over the 2x2 slopes designed for a plastic astronaut. Comment sections explode with adults yearning for the days of tactile buttons and manageable screen sizes, completely missing the irony of struggling to zoom into website photos on their handheld glass slabs. One enlightened soul discovers an old LEGO brand for project management, inadvertently pitching a LEGO-based startup idea to a crowd that can't wait to 3D print their childhood. πŸš€πŸ§±
222 points by rcdemski 2024-11-28T19:00:47 1732820447 | 23 comments
4. β–² The success and failure of Ninja (2020) (neugierig.org)
In a thrilling twist no one saw coming, the developer of Ninjaβ€”a build system that absolutely revolutionized the way three people compile codeβ€”has decided to pen a reflective saga about handing off his digital baby. Commenters on Hacker News eagerly one-up each other with tales of how "sociological issues" trump "architectural design" in software development, because who cares about efficient code when you can discuss office politics? Strangely enough, everyone seems to forget why they started coding in the first place as they dive deeper into discussing Google's unpublished research on latencies and mood swings. The discourse is a perfect blend of ego-stroking and techno-babble, leaving actual product development a distant memory. πŸ€“πŸ§‘β€πŸ’»
99 points by quincepie 2024-11-28T20:21:14 1732825274 | 24 comments
5. β–² Engineers Do Not Get to Make Startup Mistakes When They Build Ledgers (alvaroduran.com)
Title: Engineers Play Fast and Loose with Financial Stability

Today on AlvaroDuransMistakes.com, engineers are under fire for treating financial systems like a high school science fair project. Commenters are flabbergasted that the same people who can write a Python script before breakfast think that duct-taping a financial ledger qualifies as innovation. One brilliant specimen wonders why anyone needs double-entry bookkeeping when you can just pray your startup doesn't implode before payday. It's a rollicking ride of missing cents and missing sense, a perfect snapshot of startup culture, where "move fast and break things" apparently includes the basic principles of accounting.πŸ“‰πŸ’Έ
16 points by fagnerbrack 2024-11-28T23:03:47 1732835027 | 15 comments
6. β–² A pretty visualisation of the European power grid (2022) (121gigawatts.org)
Today, the internet graciously gifts us with another earth-shattering visualization at 121gigawatts.org, where someone decided to twist Europe into a pretzel to illustrate its power grid. Commenters, armed with an arsenal of self-taught UX expertise, dissect this critical travesty of map angling, with one particularly astute observer noting that this cartographic anomaly "took actual effort!" Meanwhile, advice is doled out as if it were Halloween candy: Just right-click, ctrl-drag, or maybe even chant a spell to rotate the map back to reality. Yes, adjust your screens and maybe your life priorities while you're at it, for we are discussing the pinnacle of crises: map angles. πŸ”„πŸ˜±
195 points by 9dev 2024-11-28T14:33:44 1732804424 | 99 comments
7. β–² Tk9.0: CGo-free, cross platform GUI toolkit for Go (go.dev)
Title: **Tk9.0: The Latest Life Raft in the Go Sinking Ship**

Desperate to avoid feeling all-that-2015, the Go community now hurls its buzzword compliant, "CGo-free" GUI toolkit, Tk9.0, at anyone who mistakenly wandered off JavaScript lane. Commentators, sporting rose-tinted glasses, wag their tongues on how Tk beats the Electron bloat, unaware that "ugly turned lovable" is not a feature, it's Stockholm syndrome. Meanwhile, a lone voice inquires about the merit of dodging CGo, only to tumble down a rabbit hole of cross-compilation woes and shared library nightmares. 🀯 Any second now, someone will remember to actually use this toolkit before the next shiny object appears on the horizon.
130 points by nateb2022 2024-11-28T15:18:57 1732807137 | 38 comments
8. β–² In the Rockets' Red Glare: The past and future of hot-rodding in America (harpers.org)
In the educational treatise "In the Rockets' Red Glare," some nostalgic automotive enthusiasts reminisce about the good old days of monstrous combustion engines and the wafting aroma of burnt rubber. But hold on, the electric uprising can’t be stalled, as several commentators argued vehemently in favor of the silent but deadly acceleration of their electric chariots, wresting each other digitally over drag strips and street creds with the ferocity of a keyboard warrior with a Turbo button. Not to be outdone, one sage reflects on the true essence of "hot-rodding"β€”it's not just about the speed, it’s about the soul-shaking rumble, baby! Others just seem happy to battle in civility about who can toss the most technical specifications into a single comment without taking a breath. Grab your earplugs and popcorn, this race is going to get loudβ€”and electrically charged! ⚑🏁
32 points by delichon 2024-11-28T20:19:51 1732825191 | 14 comments
9. β–² AI and the Last Mile 2: Subsidiarity (hollisrobbinsanecdotal.substack.com)
In the latest instalment of "AI and the Last Mile 2: Subsidiarity," blogger extraordinaire serves up a steaming plate of unsubstantiated AI predictions, garnished lightly with a lack of examples and a dressing of vague assertions. Commenters, not to be outdone in the field of uninformed speculation, eagerly chew over the gritty non-details, debating the nuances of a hypothesis as sturdy as a house of cards in a hurricane. One bright spark hopes beyond hope that the muddled AI dreams might someday manifest into reality, clinging to the adage "if you don't have evidence, at least have enthusiasm." Embrace the future, where the blind lead the blind into the digital utopia powered by wishful thinking and ungrounded hypotheses. πŸ™„
24 points by HR01 2024-11-22T12:49:02 1732279742 | 4 comments
10. β–² Rapid colonization of a space-returned Ryugu sample by terrestrial microorganism (wiley.com)
In a thrilling display of cosmic irony, a space rock meticulously collected to avoid Earth's grubby fingerprints, somehow ends up as a microbe rave the moment it hits a "clean room" barely cleaner than a motel bathroom. The study unintentionally proves that science might indeed be rocket science, but sterilization is astrophysics. Meanwhile, commenters dive into a pedantic playground, enthusiastically nitpicking over nitrogen use and clean room classes, pedaling furiously to out-nerd one another. A few bold souls suggest launching our contaminated mess back into space to float in eternal orbit, lest we sully the cosmos with our earthly microbial stowaways. πŸš€πŸ¦ πŸ§½
44 points by f1shy 2024-11-25T18:19:02 1732558742 | 17 comments
11. β–² Bootkitty: Analyzing the first UEFI bootkit for Linux (welivesecurity.com)

Bootkitty: Analyzing the first UEFI bootkit for Linux


In a groundbreaking stumble of cybersecurity, ESET researchers grace us with a description of the world's very first UEFI bootkit tailored for Linux, an accolade as monumental as being the first kid to discover chickenpox. While the security brainiacs pat themselves on the back for this discovery, the comment section becomes a bewildering mix of tech doomsday prophets and backyard digital locksmiths, convinced they could do a better job. Anxiety rises about UEFI security, as commenter #5 heroically battles the terrifying ordeal of explaining SecureBoot to their mother. Meanwhile, everyone seems to forget that attackers are quite possibly reading through these comments while munching popcorn and jotting down free advice. 🍿
100 points by doener 2024-11-28T11:02:45 1732791765 | 41 comments
12. β–² The Denver OWASP Chapter is proud to present SnowFROC '25 (snowfroc.com)
The Denver OWASP Chapter, in a groundbreaking revelation of self-importance, is thrilled to announce SnowFROC '25. This event promises to showcase the usual parade of cybersecurity vulnerabilities that will be resolved right after world peace is achieved. The attendees, consisting mostly of people who still haven't figured out how to update Adobe Flash, will dutifully nod at buzzwords they plan to Google later. Comments sections are alight with a lively battle between those who claim all code is inherently compromised and those who just learned how to spell β€œSQL injection.”
6 points by mooreds 2024-11-28T21:16:44 1732828604 | 0 comments
13. β–² A new start after 60: I became a 'hummingbird' for people with dementia (theguardian.com)
Welcome to the heartwarming world of retirement hobbies where former pharmacy dispensers become elderly whisperers, and manicured manor houses disguise themselves as care homes. Here, Ann Thomas-Carter trades in her pill counter for bingo after a staggering few weeks of garden pottering proves too much for her soul. Meanwhile, in the comment section, aspiring saint-wannabes battle for the highest virtue-signalling ground, sharing tales of their altruistic escapades with an edge of humble bragging. It's not all roses, but then again, who can truly complain when the thorns come free of charge? πŸŒΉπŸ˜‡
72 points by bookofjoe 2024-11-25T15:10:09 1732547409 | 5 comments
14. β–² The Thinker Who Believed in Doing (2018) (neh.gov)
Title: Philosophy Gets a Makeover from Your Eccentric Uncle

William James hits the scene in a daring boho-chic ensemble, ready to sprinkle some pragmatic pixie dust on the dreary heads of Harvard's future elite. Clad in a colorful shirt and armed with spontaneous rambles, he declares life worth living, fear not necessary for courage, and confirms every undergrad’s suspicion that yes, even professors think teaching is a drag. Meanwhile, commenters wage existential battles over whether James' boutonniere is a profound symbol of living philosophy or just early hipster fashion. Spoiler: it's both. πŸŒΊπŸ’­
8 points by prismatic 2024-11-26T03:44:04 1732592644 | 0 comments
15. β–² You can use C-Reduce for any language (bernsteinbear.com)
πŸŽ‰ Breaking News: C-Reduce transcends its C-centric shackles, tackles all languages with wild abandon. Watch in awe as every developer on the internet collectively misunderstands a simple tool's broader applicability, leading to a comedy of erroneous code snippets fit for the gods! Witness the untamed chaos in the comments, where seasoned coders and weekend warriors alike concoct convoluted git clone rituals just to shave a few bytes from a script. It’s an Olympic sprint between understanding basic documentation and unleashing unsolicited novel "improvements" - because why not make everything more complicated? πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ
456 points by Tomte 2024-11-27T17:56:24 1732730184 | 102 comments
16. β–² QwQ: Alibaba's O1-like reasoning LLM (qwenlm.github.io)
Welcome to the latest technological redundancy: QwQ, an AI that turns computation into a hippie philosophy seminar. With the audacity of a freshman philosophy student, it "questions," "wonders," and doesn't quite solve practical problems, leaving users both mystified and unproductive. Hobbyist programmers are enchanted, as they brag about the gigabytes and RAM required to make QwQ underperform on their overpriced hardware. Meanwhile, in comment sections, tech enthusiasts perform a peculiar sort of online one-upmanship about whose setup can best waste resources on a half-baked AI, secretly unsure if they're witnessing the birth of Skynet or just another overhyped code trinket. πŸ€–πŸ’­πŸ‘¨β€πŸ’»
284 points by amrrs 2024-11-27T20:00:25 1732737625 | 209 comments
17. β–² London's 850-year-old food markets to close (bbc.co.uk)

London's 850-year-old food markets to close (bbc.co.uk)



The City of London finally liberates its underappreciated meat and fish markets by planning to shutter them forever, because who needs history and tradition when you can have shiny new commercial hubs? Naturally, this is hailed as a "positive new chapter" for the few centuries-old markets, because nothing says progress like erasing the past and replacing it with glass towers. Commenters perform mental gymnastics translating bureaucratic euphemisms into plain English, uncovering gems such as "empower traders" meaning "evict them promptly." πŸ’ΌπŸŒβœ¨
245 points by kepler471 2024-11-27T21:36:38 1732743398 | 202 comments
18. β–² Aftershock II (uscrpl.com)
**Aftershock II: Another Metallic Phallus Penetrates Sky Rules**

The USC Rocket Propulsion Laboratory launches yet another piece of phallic hardware into the stratosphere, slapping their previous records with an even longer rocket stick named Aftershock II. The internet's aerospace enthusiasts, unable to distinguish between a rocket and a flying USB stick, crowd in forums to revel in apogee envy, tossing around phrases like "avionics unit" and "3Οƒ" to impersonate actual rocket scientists. This spectacle of amateur rocketeering redefines both "high flight" and "low standards," with crowd-sourced experts validating each other's Google-sourced PhDs. Meanwhile, the real achievement is breaking the record for the most elevation gained while completely missing the point of space exploration. πŸš€πŸ˜‚
3 points by defrost 2024-11-23T08:26:26 1732350386 | 0 comments
19. β–² Show QN: Myphotos.site – Make a gallery website from Google Photos (myphotos.site)
Welcome to yet another revolutionary web application, Myphotos.site, where creativity goes to die in the suffocating embrace of Google APIs. πŸŽ‰ If you've ever felt the burning desire to expose your photography to the nonchalant scrutiny of strangers online without the pesky hassle of individual URLs, this is the spoof of innovation you didn't know you needed. Users and their mothers (literally) heap conditional praise upon the service, as long as it morphs to fulfill a laundry list of highly personal requirements: syncing, longevity guarantees, non-existent pricing structures, and a vague promise that maybe, if you're lucky, it might just import all your precious memories before you or Google pull the plug. Meanwhile, actual solutions lurk around the corner, invoked by techno-martyrs armed with static site generators and an aversion to something they can't self-host. But hey, email us at hey@desperation.site for a free trial that might just outlive your interest!
142 points by gabigrin 2024-11-28T11:02:17 1732791737 | 70 comments
20. β–² Malware can turn off webcam LED and record video, demonstrated on ThinkPad X230 (github.com/xairy)
**Malware Turns ThinkPad X230 Into Stealthy Spy, Users Panic & Philosophize**

In a stunning revelation on Github, a user demonstrates how your trusty ThinkPad X230 can turn into a creepy voyeur without triggering the little tell-tale webcam light. "Innovative" thinkers dissect the technical marvel where one reprograms the webcam's firmware to ninja-mode, effectively leaving the LED in the dark and your privacy in tatters. In the comment section, armchair engineers and tin-foil hat wearers engage in an epic saga of hypothetical fixes ranging from physically disconnected cameras to webcam stickers. Meanwhile, some commenters are pondering existential crises over microphones, because who cares about visual privacy when someone might overhear your mom's secret pie recipe? πŸŽ€πŸ’”
966 points by xairy 2024-11-27T20:10:55 1732738255 | 498 comments
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