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▲ Making a 3D modeler in C in a week (danielchasehooper.com)
In a desperate act of coding masochism, one brave soul tackles the Herculean task of crafting a 3D modeler in C within a mere week, documented at danielchasehooper.com. The comment section turns into a tragicomedy as enthusiasts begrudgingly accept their fate chained to the quirks of Raylib, a library as temperamental as a cat on a hot tin roof. As developers lament over mundane frustrations like fullscreen toggling and the esoteric arts of font management, it’s clear the journey has less to do with ending up with a functional 3D modeler and more with surviving to rant about it. Tune in for a gripping saga of misplaced optimism, where keyboards are warriors and every minor bug fix deserves a Viking funeral. 🛡️🔥
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312 points by jasim
2024-05-02T17:48:14 |
69 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ An analysis of the rabbit R1 APK (emergetools.com)
In today's riveting episode of *Silicon Snakes & Ladders*, the dubious internet heroes at emergetools.com dissect the legendary Rabbit R1's APK, revealing the "groundbreaking" AI device to be—brace yourselves—a slightly tweaked Android app 🐰. The CEO scrambles to redefine 'Android app' in a bid to protect investor fantasies. Meanwhile, the comment section morphs into a nauseating spin-dryer of tech jargon as self-professed experts debate the existential nuances of Flutter vs. Jetpack. Spoiler: it's still just an app, folks, no matter how you package the hype.
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38 points by jshchnz
2024-05-02T22:58:52 |
14 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Building a rocket engine from scratch (ablspacesystems.com)
In *Building a Rocket Engine From Scratch*, hobbyists and professionals alike gather to preach the gospel of old NASA reports and home-shed engineering marvels. Commentators on the article dive into the treacherous waters of jargon and nostalgia, with one reminisce about how "the 60s were awesome" because yellow was bad, and another offers a passive-aggressive grammar lesson on the correct use of "lest." Meanwhile, someone discovers the revolutionary idea that involving the machinist early in the design process might just save time and money—who knew? Amid tales of minimal blade counts and the virtue of obsessively committed engineers, the daily struggle to differentiate a rocket lab from a live-in office haunts every overly excited commenter, reminding us that rocket science might just be easier than maintaining a healthy work-life balance. 🚀💥
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133 points by sr-latch
2024-05-02T19:54:48 |
31 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ The world's loudest Lisp program to the rescue (funcall.org)
In today's episode of "Obscure Tech Nostalgia," a lone developer extols the virtues of using Common Lisp for embedded systems, a niche so small you'd need a microcontroller to see its market share. The comments section is a mind-bending mix of Lisp fanatics reliving their glory days and Unix users casually tossing around terms like homoiconicity and multiple inheritance as if they're chatting up their barista. An antique Eliza chatbot gets trotted out, because nothing screams "cutting-edge software development" like running 30-year-old code virtually untouched. Meanwhile, everyone ignores the inevitable conclusion that this tech party is less about innovation and more about shaking the mothballs out of grandpa's old computer jacket. (goodbye)
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121 points by kryptiskt
2024-05-02T07:50:34 |
25 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ The life and times of an Abstract Syntax Tree (trailofbits.com)
Title: Coders Clashing over Crumbling Code Constructs
In the latest episode of *Code Conundrums*, Francesco Bertolaccini throws us a supposedly enlightening but mostly bewildering look into the life of an Abstract Syntax Tree, a topic that absolutely no one at your Friday night bar-hop has ever gone, "Oh, do go on." Meanwhile, commenters perform mental gymnastics attempting to dismantle the precarious Jenga tower of "safe" examples provided, only to suggest alternatives like Rust—which, obviously, solve everything from world peace to your grandma's slow Wi-Fi. Tune in for a mixture of underexplained tech jargon, gratuitous link-dropping, and a nostalgic dive into data structures that ensures even the hardiest of developers will question their life choices. 🌳💻🔥
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20 points by jnord
2024-05-02T22:47:05 |
3 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Passkey Implementation: Misconceptions, pitfalls and unknown unknowns (corbado.com)
In a stunning display of missing the point, a blogger at corbado.com weaves a tale of freezer burns and digital security, ensuring even the least engaged reader can grasp the dire consequences of forgetting your gloves—both in the lab and in the dizzying world of passkeys. Commenters leap into action, engaged in a bizarre kind of one-upmanship about who can misunderstand the tech specs more spectacularly while casually dropping "helpful" links that further blur the line between advice and self-promotion. One bright spark wonders aloud why their burned fingers can't be used to log into their email, sparking a flurry of responses that range from witheringly technical to hilariously off-base. It's a masterclass in making something relatively simple sound like the prelude to the techpocalypse. 💻🔥🤦♂️
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40 points by vdelitz
2024-04-30T18:52:07 |
13 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Google's Synonym Extraction Methods (2010) (mattcutts.com)
In an astonishing display of nostalgia, Matt Cutts moons over the good old days of Google's synonym extraction, a time when search engines were something more than glorified ad dispensers. Commenters, desperately clinging to the magic of 2010, speculate wildly about Google's secretive tech, touting patents and previous glory like intellectual property hoarders. Meanwhile, hinting at a golden age where SEO wizards *actually* talked to people, and Google wasn't just an omnipresent sales rep. Of course, everyone ignores the elephant in the room: that clever tech has just made it easier for Google to play fetch with ads, no matter how be it by synonyms or telepathy. 😂
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38 points by bms2297
2024-05-02T23:05:57 |
9 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Teranoptia – a typeface that allows you to imagine chimeric creatures (tunera.xyz)
Welcome to the dizzying world of Teranoptia, where the desperate need for originality in font design has led us to a typeface that eschews the quaint concept of "letters" for the far more esoteric "imagine-your-own-monster" approach. Inspired equally by ancient tapestries and the unattended crayon drawings of a toddler, this font allows you to clutter your digital margins with beasts that medieval peasants might find too absurd to fear. Meanwhile, in the comment section, hobbyist web developers leap to create playgrounds for this typographic chimera, as if competing for the "Most Niche Tool" award. Could this be the perfect marriage of procrastination and pretend productivity? Probably, but hey, at least your imaginary monsters can have their own custom font now. 🐉💻🤦♂️
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368 points by dchest
2024-05-02T09:49:35 |
39 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Piccolo – A Stackless Lua Interpreter (kyju.org)
**Title: Piccolo – A Stackless Lua Interpreter (kyju.org)**
On the forefront of programming dilemmas, *Piccolo* emerges as your latest micro-manager for Lua's struggle with its own existence, disguised as a "stackless interpreter" to solve all of life’s problems in the digital realm. Commenters, evidently fighting the mundane reaches of typical Lua issues like a hero in a cape, jump at the chance to ask if this new solution will help them unpack and repack coroutines like a suitcase that won’t close. One brave soul wonders aloud (in text), will rebirth from their Rust ashes, mid-Lua scribbling, let them outpace LuaJIT? Showing optimism akin to finding a unicorn, they back up imagine-engineering with monospaced fonts – because readability is less important if it looks like you know what you’re doing. So stack up, everybody, we’re waiting for Lua’s miraculous leap over its own stack.
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138 points by vvoruganti
2024-05-02T17:38:01 |
12 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ They thought they were joining an accelerator – instead they lost their startups (techcrunch.com)
TechCrunch treats us to a timeless tale of startup hubris, featuring yet another founder who threw $7,500 into the gaping maw of a "business accelerator," apparently under the impression that burning cash could maybe, possibly lead to a spontaneous business combustion. Naturally, the accelerator bites the dust, dragging its cohorts down into bankruptcy hell. Meanwhile, the comment section becomes a bazaar of dollar store philosophers and bootstrapping evangelists, each peddling insights worth exactly as much as it costs to type them out—zero, give or take the value of electricity. Truly, nothing says *innovation* like watching smart people invent new ways to get fleeced.
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109 points by e2e4
2024-05-02T21:24:42 |
52 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Gene banks aren’t enough to save the world’s food (longnow.org)
In the awe-inspiring realms of longnow.org, an article bravely announces that gene banks are about as useful for global agriculture as a chocolate teapot. The author, presumably after wrestling with the existential dread of biodiversity loss, concludes that more should be done, but doesn't quite specify what, leaving readers to assume we might just have to Photoshop new plants into existence. Comments veer into delightful brags about backyard grain cultivation, with our heroic urban farmers using lawn mowers and leaf blowers in a desperate attempt to outmatch actual agriculture. Meanwhile, the debate on homemade threshing tools vs. store-bought bread provides the intellectual sustenance of a diet solely comprising heirloom tomatoes. 🍞🌾
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118 points by WithinReason
2024-05-02T16:15:54 |
58 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ How did Ancient Greek music sound? (youtube.com)
In a thrilling twist that no one asked for, YouTube decides to serenade us with the sounds of Ancient Greek music, butchered to perfection by enthusiastic academics. As expected, the comments swiftly devolve into a linguistic Hunger Games, with every Tom, Dick, and Socrates arguing over whether "ai" should sound more like "ae" or just a shrill cry for help. Meanwhile, another valiant commenter reminds everyone to check if the source is not just accessible but less bloated than YouTube, as if ancient Greeks would've debated video codecs alongside philosophy. Oh, and there's a casual interlude about Twitter's ongoing link-mess. Because clearly, what this discussion needed was more chaos. 🎭📜
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165 points by tintinnabula
2024-05-02T03:46:11 |
76 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Every map of China is wrong (medium.com/anastasia.bizyayeva)
In an earth-shattering exposé on Medium, we learn that every map of China is as questionable as your average tech startup's valuation—yeah, they’re both wildly misleading. Commenters, in a desperate bid to flaunt their in-depth geopolitical knowledge, point out the nuanced legality of mapping apps and geotagging inside the Great Firewall, as if the CCP is just another bug in the code that can be patched with enough forum posts. One enlightened soul muses whether all this obfuscation moaning could just be the bureaucratic equivalent of not updating your software because “it still works fine, right?” Meanwhile, the armchair policy makers Spar over technological oversight in the US as if their blog comments could steer international espionage directives. 🌍🙈
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53 points by bschne
2024-05-01T06:08:54 |
28 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Got an old Raspberry Pi spare? Try RISC OS. It is, something else (theregister.com)
In an electrifying surge of nostalgia that nobody asked for, The Register highlights the quirks of RISC OS, inspiring commenters to emerge from their dusty electronics workshops and wax nostalgic about the good ol' days of confusing UI decisions and security equivalent to a screen door on a submarine. 🚢 RISC OS, hailed as ahead of its time mostly by people who confuse inconvenience with sophistication, operated on a philosophy of "why do it the easy way when you can make users guess what the third mouse button does?" 💻 Commenters, misty-eyed, argue over minutiae while reminiscing about the ‘powerful’ drag-and-drop features, as if wrestling with file management was a badge of honor rather than a UX design incident. It's a delightful reminder that progress might just mean *not* having three different actions mapped to mouse buttons inscrutably named like forgotten runes from Tolkien’s Middle Earth. 🧙♂️
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135 points by m_c
2024-05-02T19:55:59 |
38 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Show QN: An extension to track your Wikipedia adventures (chromewebstore.google.com)
Title: *Adventures in Mediocrity: Another Browser Extension We Didn't Ask For*
In an awe-inspiring act of digital self-flagellation, a Hacker News user unveils a Chrome extension to track the dizzying heights of their Wikipedia spirals. Because clearly what we all need is another reason to feel bad about forgetting the 1783 Laki eruption. Commenters leap at the chance to discuss their own neglected projects, tangling over tangled trees, and proving once again that no concept is too niche for a graph (or should we say DAG?). Meanwhile, software developers continue to invent problems to solve problems we never knew we had. 🙃
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146 points by demegire
2024-05-02T14:36:18 |
52 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Pseudo Graceful Process Termination Through Code Injection (sigma-star.at)
In an edge-of-the-seat thriller straight from the darker corners of a UNIX sysadmin's midnight panic, a valiant hacker articulates the esoteric technique of "Pseudo Graceful Process Termination Through Code Injection." For those who speak *normal*, that's geek for "killing a process and making it look like an accident." The comments hilariously oscillate between backyard GDB jockeys spouting "Well, actually..." anecdotes, and a lone philosophical tinkerer pondering the existential dread of imagining faux-graceful shutdowns as anything but over-engineered, unnecessary chaos. Truly, a masterclass in making a mountain out of a binary molehill. 🤓💻🔫
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25 points by Deeg9rie9usi
2024-05-02T20:25:32 |
7 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Hobby's algorithm for aesthetic Bézier splines (jakelow.com)
**Hobby's Algorithm: Now With More Curves!**
At jakelow.com, some intrepid blogger resurrects John Hobby's arcane solution to making smooth, aesthetically pleasant curves, because what the internet really lacks is more explanations about how to connect dots. Commenters emerge from the woodwork with tales of pixelated highways in retro video games, lamenting the lack of second derivative continuity and the shocking horror of constant acceleration on curves. As usual, a sanctimonious soul points out the missing discussions of Metafont and Asymptote, because no mathematical critique is complete without shaming the author for not writing an entire textbook. If you ever longed to witness a joust between tweed-coated academics over the virtues of bezier splines versus real life train tracks, congratulations, this thread is your new home. 🚂📐
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26 points by abetusk
2024-05-02T20:31:19 |
5 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ TSMC Jumps into Silicon Photonics, Lays Out Roadmap for 12.8 Tbps Interconnect (anandtech.com)
In a stunning display of the future nobody except datacenter architects asked for, TSMC bravely announces its plan to blast 12.8 terabits per second through silicon photonics, because obviously what the world needs right now is faster cat videos. Commenters, equipped with the combined networking expertise of a damp Ethernet cable, engage in wild speculations about how this will definitely make their gaming streams faster and how they might finally be able to upload their consciousness to the cloud in under a second. Meanwhile, practical applications like "will it improve my Zoom calls" are gloriously ignored in favor of discussing potential use in space lasers and time travel. 🚀💾
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51 points by PaulHoule
2024-05-02T21:44:24 |
6 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Pleasure or pain? He maps the neural circuits that decide (quantamagazine.org)
**Pleasure or pain? Who knows, who cares?**
In a heroic quest rivaled only by Homer's Odyssey, Pr Abdus-Saboor joyfully tortures mice with blue lights to discover the neural pathways of "Do we pet the kitty or just a bad back itch?" Quantamagazine.org lures readers into a labyrinth of text and big pictures (because reading is hard). Commenters toggle between fawning idol-worship and baffled ire—apparently lost between wanting a quick FAQ and the dread of encountering a scholarly interview without bullet points. "Just give us the recipe," pleads one hero, a sentiment echoed by SEO conspiracy theorists who can't tell the difference between science journalism and a BuzzFeed listicle. 🐭💡😱
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37 points by chapulin
2024-05-02T17:21:43 |
16 comments
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