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▲ Bollards: Why and What (josh.works)
Welcome to another impassioned thesis from the internet's foremost authority on urban design, josh.works, whose article "Bollards: Why and What" manages to confuse everyone and no one all at once. Watch in amazement as the author tangos with sarcasm and irony, leaving readers unsure whether they’ve walked into a graduate thesis or a satirical roast of city planning. Commenters jump into the fray, toggling between genuine curiosity and existential despair about whether a bollard-laden world is our utopia or dystopia. 🌍💥 Most agree that, yes, piles of metal sticks could save a grandma here and there, but then again, so could slowing down and just maybe not hitting her with a car. Of course, that's radical thinking in a society that measures progress by the length of the unobstructed sidewalk. So fill those coffers, friends. Those bollards won’t buy themselves!
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255 points by mooreds
2024-05-05T19:54:46 |
142 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Social engineering takeovers of open source projects (openssf.org)
Title: Fearmongering Forever: The Open Source Security Charade
First Paragraph: Witness the latest production of paranoia in the riveting drama that is open-source security, authored by luminaries - "Leaders of Thought" such as Robin Bender Ginn and Omkhar Arasaratnam. In a digital world where every pushed commit is a potential trojan horse, the developers are armed with suspicion and the codebases bunkered to withstand social-engineering sieges. Commenters - part-time security analysts and full-time keyboard warriors - jump on the conspiracy bandwagon, debating whether your next 'pull request' could be a masterstroke from foreign intelligence, or just a novice trying to fix a typo. Meanwhile, rationality takes a backseat as everyone preemptively dons their digital armor, preparing for an invasion that may be no more than a few lines of misguided code or, as others believe, the prelude to a dystopian downfall of open-source gatekeeping. 🛡️💻🕵️♂️
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201 points by mooreds
2024-05-05T19:53:48 |
77 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Deep Reinforcement Learning: Zero to Hero (github.com/alessiodm)
In a heroic leap from *zero* to vaguely above zero, a brave GitHub warrior crafts a "Deep Reinforcement Learning: Zero to Hero" guide, because what the internet desperately needed was another AI tutorial written by an enthusiast with a knack for rewriting what's already out there. Overflowing with originality, they even *borrow* their hero’s title—because homage is just a fancier word for theft. The comment section blossoms into a tech utopia where everyone thanks each other profusely and dreams of YouTube spin-offs. Meanwhile, practical advice on actual problems remains as elusive as a stable Reinforcement Learning model in the wild. 🙄
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45 points by alessiodm
2024-05-05T23:12:28 |
5 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Monitoring energy usage with smart plugs, Prometheus and Grafana (ounapuu.ee)
Hackernews discovers a new way to inflate both their electricity bills and ego by monitoring energy usage with smart plugs and some arcane sorcery involving Prometheus and Grafana. One bold techie goes a step further by routing his entire apartment through a $14 breaker from AliExpress, showcasing an admirable commitment to both energy monitoring and spontaneous electrical fires. The comment section turns into a geek show-and-tell, featuring links to other half-baked hardware solutions and inadvertent admissions of how little they value fire safety standards. Godspeed, brave pioneers of unnecessary complication and potential home hazards. 🚒🔌
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157 points by hddherman
2024-05-05T18:05:31 |
98 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Flying planes in Microsoft Flight Simulator with a JavaScript autopilot (2023) (pomax.github.io)
In a stunning display of reckless ambition, a programmer decides the best use for JavaScript is to not make websites slower but to potentially crash virtual planes in Microsoft Flight Simulator. Because why crash browsers when you can crash Boeing 747s with code? Commenters, excited by this groundbreaking misuse of technology, quickly contribute their own tales of random APIs and forgotten GitHub repositories as if to prove that, yes, anyone can mix technology and poor decision making. One brave soul questions the clickbaity nature of the title, launching a philosophical discourse on what "clickbait" really means to a community that thrives on over-engineering solutions to non-problems. Meanwhile, SpaceX remains on standby, beer in hand, just in case someone decides JavaScript should pilot real spacecraft. 🚀😱
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103 points by TheRealPomax
2024-05-05T18:45:04 |
16 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ X.org on NetBSD – The State of Things (netbsd.org)
Title: X.org on NetBSD – The State of Things (netbsd.org)
Once again, the pulsating heart of tech innovation, NetBSD, blesses us with a riveting rundown on X11—a system so ancient, even the dinosaurs found it passe. Savor the nostalgia of 1987 as we dive into a "state of things" reminiscent of a tech archaeology dig. Who needs the cutting-edge failures of Wayland when you can enjoy the crumbling relics of X.org? The comment section, a glorious battleground of obscurity, erupts with twelve passionate users arguing vehemently over configurations that absolutely nobody else cares about. 🦖💾
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10 points by dagenix
2024-05-05T23:46:21 |
0 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Designing furniture using the CSS grid (2023) (alnvdl.github.io)
In a groundbreaking fusion of tech hobbyism and mild insanity, a brave soul has decided that the CSS grid is not just for web layouts but for designing actual furniture. Commenters, thrilled to find kindred spirits in misapplied technology, revel in recounting their glory days of using Lotus 123 for Dungeons and Dragons maps and hiding contraband in digital nooks. As they eschew professional tools like CAD for the familiarity of their browser's refresh button, even the guy using Excel as a legitimate design tool feels like he might be onto something. In the end, we learn that no matter the tool---be it Excel, CSS, or crayons—the real skill is convincing yourself that the “save” button is as good as a saw. 🛠️😂
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79 points by alnvdl
2024-05-05T18:47:46 |
17 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Infini-Gram: Scaling unbounded n-gram language models to a trillion tokens (arxiv.org)
**Infini-Gram: Scaling N-gram Horizons to Infinity... and Beyond!**
In a move that can only be described as the wet dream of every data hoarder, researchers have bravely decided to stuff an *infinite number* of tokens into an n-gram model, conjuring the digital equivalent of a black hole in token-space on arXiv. While enthusiasts marvel at the Herculean effort of up-scaling yesterday’s tech to tomorrow’s standards, they blithely skate over the glaring issues discussed in nearly religious fervor on forums: Can more attention heads in mask-wearing models really replace the brain-like function of feed-forward orgies? Commenters, missing no beat in their armchair expertise, chime in with 💡-lightbulb moments suggesting DNA sequencing techniques could lend a hand—because surely, what works for genetics must be miraculous for computational linguistics! As the debate descends into the murky depths of stochastic parrotry and human brain envy, one might wonder if we're all just part of an elaborate experiment run by an overzealous n-gram model. 🤖
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73 points by nsagent
2024-05-05T17:58:13 |
26 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ TheDesk desktop environment (github.com/thecheeseboard)
The internet's unrelenting incompetence persists with the launch of TheDesk, a revolutionary new desktop environment that brings absolutely nothing new to the table. Users, exhausted from the lack of over-engineered features in their lives, are clamoring to know what makes TheDesk unique—besides its apparent ability to induce motion sickness. Aspiring designers opine deeply about the need for unity in Linux desktop environments, whimsically ignoring the irony as they splinter off to develop yet another unnecessary project. Meanwhile, somewhere in the depths of GitHub, a lone developer's joy at seeing their “labor of love” used by three and a half people almost compensates for the existential dread of modern software development. 🌀💻
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39 points by smartmic
2024-05-05T19:40:41 |
9 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ ESP32-S3 has a few SIMD instructions (bitbanksoftware.blogspot.com)
Welcome to the digital dustbin of aspirations, where a humble ESP32-S3 SIMD adventurer tries to navigate the Espressif documentation labyrinth, only to find themselves reconsidering life choices. The comment brigade, featuring the ex-opensource hero turned corporate muzzle, swears everything you need is just 300 pages deep in a manual clearly written by Schrödinger's typist. If poorly indexed, mysteriously non-existent documentation were an Olympic sport, Espressif would surely be aiming for gold. Meanwhile, brave souls dream of incorporating SIMD in DSP algorithms like heroes fighting a hydra, only to realize they're armed with a spork. 🙃
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116 points by _Microft
2024-05-05T16:21:33 |
27 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ "Meta spent almost as much as the Manhattan Project on GPUs in today's dollars" (twitter.com/emollick)
In an awe-inspiring display of fiscal responsibility, Meta has reportedly funneled a treasure trove worthy of a small nation’s GDP into GPUs, mirroring the Manhattan Project but with more pixels and less plutonium. Commenters, capable economists and AI hobbyists that they are, split their time between lamenting the death of affordable graphics cards and dreaming of AI that can finally beat them at Scrabble. Meta's shopping spree prompts a critical existential question: when is enough really enough in the quest to develop an algorithm sophisticated enough to sell us more things we don’t need? Meanwhile, Twitter remains the ideal battleground for fierce debates that change absolutely nothing. 🔥
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101 points by paulpauper
2024-05-05T20:48:37 |
68 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Machine Unlearning in 2024 (stanford.edu)
In an exhilarating display of academic verbosity, Stanford scholars regale us with yet another barrier-breaking concept: Machine Unlearning. Feel the thrill of a whopping 41-minute read, where theories loop-de-loop more dizzyingly than a caffeinated hamster. Over in the comments, a bazaar of the clueless peddle profound revelations like "1984 was actually a warning, LOL" while missing the irony that their GPS-tracked upvotes are probably feeding the next AI overlord. Get ready to unlearn whatever meager understanding of technology you thought you had—Stanford's latest will ensure it.
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184 points by ignoramous
2024-05-05T12:30:44 |
65 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Microsoft CTO: Thoughts on OpenAI (2019) (twitter.com/techemails)
In a shockingly "unprecedented" move that has never happened before in the history of capitalism, Microsoft's CTO Kevin Scott delicately weeps into his tea about the company missing out on AI trends. But don't worry, just when you think they might reflect on this missed opportunity to innovate, they pull a classic Microsoft and throw a cool billion at OpenAI to ensure they stay relevant, or at least appear to. Meanwhile, the comment section turns into a nostalgia fest for the good old days of tech, with armchair CEOs romantically recounting how every ginormous company basically did the same thing but expecting different results—surprise, surprise! Truly, history never repeats itself, except always.
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197 points by mfiguiere
2024-05-05T17:50:12 |
88 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Interview with Marian Rejewski, the first person to crack Enigma (1974) [video] (flyingpenguin.com)
Embark on a thrilling journey back to 1974 with a *rare* video interview that bridges the elusive gap between mathematicians and myth-makers. FlyingPenguin.com heroically uploads a series from the Polish Embassy vault, revealing that Marian Rejewski, not Alan Turing, was the real MVP of WWII codebreaking - surprise! 🙀 The comments section quickly transforms into a dazzling showdown of historian wannabes and citation-needed warriors, each zealously defending the honor of their favorite cipher-cracking patriot. From geographic errors to the mechanical minutiae of the Bombe, no detail is too trivial for a passionate missive on why everything you thought you knew about WWII is wrong. 🤯🍿
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84 points by chmaynard
2024-05-03T11:23:58 |
31 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Turning AirPods into a fitness tracker (richarddas.com)
Title: Hackernews Decides AirPods are the New Personal Trainers
In an electrifying display of missing the point, the technorati of Hackernews have pivoted from using overpriced wireless earbuds to listen to lo-fi hip hop beats to study/relax to, to strapping said earbuds into service as janky, data-leaking fitness trackers. One hopeful soul dreams of mining their tooth-grinding habits from the depths of acoustic telemetry, presumably after mistaking the gnashing of molars for some kind of hidden, quantifiable insight into their stress levels. Another pioneer muses about the athletic potential of nodding vigorously to mute calls, revolutionizing the ancient art of non-verbal communication into a tragicomic workplace aerobics routine. As the community unironically debates whether AirPods can detect their squats, Apple executives are likely nodding along—not in agreement, but in anticipation of their next bank deposit.
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145 points by cleverbit
2024-05-03T17:16:22 |
24 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ A mostly complete guide to React rendering behavior (2020) (isquaredsoftware.com)
In another attempt to distill the magical ways of React into mortally comprehensible bits, isquaredsoftware.com unleashes its "mostly complete guide to React rendering behavior." Because what the world truly lacks is yet another detailed exegesis on React's rendering peculiarities—now with more hooks! Commenters, unfazed by the possibility of existing outside a development bubble, trip over themselves to boast about the size of their React components, while subtly misquoting concepts they skimmed. If clarity was the goal, the comments section is its natural predator. 🧐💥
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16 points by robertvc
2024-05-05T00:03:48 |
3 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Map Machine: Python renderer for OpenStreetMap with custom icons (github.com/enzet)
Title: Hackers Unleash Groundbreaking Map Scribbling Code
In a shocking development that disrupts the entire cartography industry (not really), an enterprising GitHub user has embraced the radical idea of slapping custom icons on OpenStreetMap, delighting dozens. Visitors are astounded by the "absolutely perfect" integration of Röntgen icons into maps, a feature predicted to save what must amount to dozens of dollars. A seasoned commenter graces the discussion with a nod to Kothic, yesteryear's equivalent of painting by numbers, reminding everyone just how circular the wheel of innovation truly is. Meanwhile, another plans their monumental project, likely to be forgotten by dinner. Truly, we stand on the shoulders of giants.
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64 points by altilunium
2024-05-03T06:24:23 |
4 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Identifiers are better off without meaning (varoa.net)
In an eye-opening exposé on the challenges of having meaningful identifiers, *varoa.net* shares a quaint tech calamity about how a number _too big_ threw Hadoop into disarray. The site whittily circumvents mundane technical advice by instead advocating for the severe amnesia of identifiers, because who cares about practicality when you can avoid an overflow, right? Commenters, emerging from the deep crevices of the internet, one-up each other with tales of similar apocalypses, proving once again that in the kingdom of the nerds, the one with the most convoluted solution is king. 🤓👑
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17 points by srvaroa
2024-05-03T13:20:57 |
21 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ MIT abandons requirement of DEI statements for hiring and promotions (whyevolutionistrue.com)
**MIT Dumps DEI Statements, Internet Collectively Shrugs**
In a shocking twist that absolutely no one saw coming, MIT decides to scrap DEI statements for hiring, leading to a cacophony of repetitive ideological warfare in the comment section. One brave soul seeks a "thoughtful and substantive" conversation about the efficacy of DEI mandates, clearly forgetting which internet they're on. Commentators tripped over themselves in a rush to point out the Orwellian nature of it all, whilst secretly Googling what DEI even stands for. Meanwhile, the real issue—whether anyone actually likes those dull DEI seminars—remains as untouched as the last doughnut at a weight watchers meeting. 🍩😶
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518 points by nsoonhui
2024-05-05T07:14:26 |
355 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ A History of C Compilers – Part 1: Performance, Portability and Freedom (thechipletter.substack.com)
In a riveting expedition through the cavalcade of C compilers, "A History of C Compilers – Part 1: Performance, Portability and Freedom" delivers an archival snoozefest that glosses over real heroes like Datalight C and Zortech C++. The outraged commentariat is quick to dig up technical relics and obscure points, educating each other fervently as if anyone else cared. As they bicker, GNU sits in the corner, quietly laughing, knowing its "marginally acceptable by default" strategy has outlasted shinier tools simply by being free and everywhere—like a programming cockroach. Who needs efficiency or elegance when you have omnipresence and a price tag of zero? 🎉😂
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131 points by gulced
2024-05-05T12:28:30 |
56 comments
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