Quacker News daily superautomated ai tech-bro mockery | github
1. ▲ Caniemail.com – like caniuse but for email content (caniemail.com)
In a dazzling feat of redundancy, caniemail.com emerges to answer the burning question no one asked: "Can I use this in HTML emails?" Developed by @HTeuMeuLeu and the team at Tilt Studio, the site follows the footprints—both large and pointless—left by caniuse.com, but now for the ever-painful realm of email. Hacker News commenters leap into action, tripping over themselves to either mourn HTML email as the doom of digital communication or to defend it as a herald of necessary evil. Strangely, nobody addresses the elephant in the room: why are we still using email like it's 1999? Is it tech nostalgia, or are we all just that masochistic? Embrace or cringe at the HTML spectacle, but remember, every overly styled newsletter is a cry for professional help wrapped in a gradient background. 💌💔
88 points by fagnerbrack 2024-05-06T23:03:34 | 48 comments
2. ▲ TOTP Authenticator for PalmOS (nkorth.com)
In a bold stride back to 1998, hackers rejoice as TOTP Authenticator graces PalmOS, revealing that nostalgia isn't just about playing *Space Invaders* on your calculator during math class but is also about deploying state-of-the-art security via obsolete technology. Commenters leap to the occasion with tales of wristwatches and cyberpunk novels, mistaking their clever banter for security consulting gigs. Meanwhile, throwbacks to chunky, user-friendly interfaces send everyone into an ergonomic frenzy, yearning for the good ol' days when UIs were as thick as their wallets before investing in Bitcoin. Naturally, Palm OS and GameBoy serve as the fortresses of ancient tech wisdom in this modern crusade against thin scroll bars and comprehensible MODERN software, because who needs accessibility when you have exclusivity? 🎮📟💾
81 points by LeoPanthera 2024-05-06T20:45:57 | 26 comments
3. ▲ The best way to have complex discussions? (cq2.co)
On cq2.co, a cutting-edge revelation emerges: humans *like* complex discussions, but the internet has inexplicably lost all tools to facilitate them since the golden age of Usenet. Cue gasps and the mournful humming of dial-up tones. Commenters, clad in the digital equivalent of powdered wigs, lament the downfall of structured discourse, each one out-nerding the last with wistful eulogies to news reader software and message IDs. Meanwhile, modern platforms like Zulip and Twist get briefly mentioned, only to be overshadowed by the overwhelming nostalgia for a simpler, more organized cyber time—one free of emojis but full of blissful, threaded clarity.
264 points by anandbaburajan 2024-05-06T18:02:59 | 125 comments
4. ▲ Eli Bendersky: Faster XML Stream Processing in Go (thegreenplace.net)
🚀 **Eli Bendersky is Resurrecting The Dead: XML** 🚀 At *thegreenplace.net*, nostalgia hits hard as our protagonist waxes lyrical about XML—a format as dead as your old MySpace account, now seeing a thrilling revival as a speed problem in Go, Python, and C. Witness the awe-inspiring act of dragging XML into the 21st century with a *Go module*, because clearly, what the tech world lacks is *yet another* piece of obscure software. Commenters engage in a high-stakes debate about nanoseconds and the theory of relativity in performance gains, bonding over the "remarkable" jump from *0.56 seconds*—because shaving off microseconds is what everyone absolutely needs for processing ancient markup languages. 🐌💨 Who said tech isn't living in the past?
7 points by PaulHoule 2024-05-07T00:01:44 | 2 comments
5. ▲ Results of the Grand C++ Error Explosion Competition (2014) (tgceec.tumblr.com)
In the high-stakes world of the Grand C++ Error Explosion Competition, programming enthusiasts giddily compete to discover who can crash their compiler with the least effort, a feat truly indicative of our brightest minds. Marvel as the finest entries achieve astronomical error messages with nothing more than a digital sneeze in the source code, racking up impressiveness points measured by mystical error-to-code multipliers. Meanwhile, the comments degenerate into a nerd-gladiator arena where participants boast about superior "error node" strategies from their DIY compilers, desperately clinging to relevance in a world where "poisoning" is cooler than fixing. One might ponder if converting all software engineering into an arcane art of managing disastrous outputs might just be the pinnacle of modern computing. 😂🔥
180 points by st_goliath 2024-05-06T17:57:39 | 57 comments
6. ▲ An infinite canvas for code exploration (territory.dev)

The Boundless Prison of Code Exploration


Welcome to territory.dev, where the promise of an "infinite canvas for code exploration" mysteriously mirrors the infinite loop you enter when trying to use your browser's back button. Commenters are so outraged they can barely focus on the tool's purpose, instead becoming amateur bug reporters. One wonders why they didn't just spam Ctrl+Z on their browser too, hoping for a miracle. In a twist fit for modern tech sagas, not only does your code get hoovered up, but basic web functionalities and transparency are also casualties. Sign up, they said. It'll be fun, they said. Refunds and back buttons not included.
62 points by pst723 2024-05-06T21:03:54 | 38 comments
7. ▲ Attackers can decloak routing-based VPNs (leviathansecurity.com)
In the latest installment of "How Your Privacy Shield Is a Colander," leviathansecurity.com unveils a dreadful reality where DHCP plays dress-up with VPN integrity. Commenters, snagging their private detective magnifying glasses, dive deep into the technical jargon sea, only to argue whether "killswitches" should be called "no-leak-ziplocks" instead. Meanwhile, as confusion blossoms about whether this dissertation could have been an email, cybersecurity aficionados second-guess the efficiency of their high-tech leaking buckets, pondering whether to throw them at the author or use them for spring gardening. Watch as the definition of privacy gets as muddied as the comments section itself. 🕵️‍♂️💻🗑️
131 points by dsr_ 2024-05-06T21:19:55 | 102 comments
8. ▲ Show QN: A free site to explore and discover 6k plants (getanyplant.com)
**Subject: Hacker News Discovers Plants, Assumes Ctrl + Z Works on API**

Here we are with getanyplant.com, the web's latest plant-pedia seemingly tailored for those with an unwavering confidence that "America is the world." Unsurprisingly, despite the internet being global, our starry-eyed HN gardener forgot that plants and websites work in other parts of the world too. Meanwhile, the HN comment section, ever astute, bemoans the lack of international shipping, dreaming of a day when coding and chlorophyll coalesce into a universally accessible garden paradise. It’s a riveting tale of accidental xenophobia, where every user apparently forgets Google exists to find out if Rhododendron toxicum grows in their backyard or belongs solely in a $500 pot. 🌍🌵💻
313 points by ryebread777 2024-05-06T11:42:41 | 104 comments
9. ▲ Visiting the annual Braun collectors fair (arslan.io)
Title: An Ode to Obsolescence: Braunophilic Bliss at the Börse

Imagine a place where nostalgia for mid-century appliance design is so palpable, you can almost hear the hum of a vintage electric shaver: welcome to the Braun+Design Börse. Here, design nerds gather to worship at the altar of Dieter Rams, drooling over relics from a time when Braun wasn’t just a name on your dad’s dust-collecting electric toothbrush. Commenters engage in mournful reflections on the ‘fall’ of Braun, peppering the discourse with breathless questions about "internal drama" and corporate sell-outs. Meanwhile, they eagerly trade URLs to documentaries and collections that validate their vintage veneer—a simulacrum of consumerist critique wrapped in a warm, fuzzy throwback aesthetic. 🕰️🧔📉
145 points by farslan 2024-05-05T16:09:54 | 24 comments
10. ▲ A 100x speedup with unsafe Python (yosefk.com)
Today in the magical world of programming, a brave soul outlines how to sacrifice Python’s cherished safety nets for the holy grail of a - hold your applause - 100x speedup. The blogosphere reacts as expected, with every Tom, Dick, and Hermione frantically hammering out why their 'totally unique' use case justifies dancing on the edge of unsafety. Meanwhile, seasoned developers from their high towers sprinkle scorn, dismissing the method as 'coding with scissors'. As the comment section descends into the usual quagmire of one-upmanship, somewhere, a PhD student is already citing this as the backbone of their thesis on “Performance vs. Peril: An unnecessary dichotomy?” 🐍💨🔪
14 points by ingve 2024-05-05T08:08:13 | 0 comments
11. ▲ PiFex: JTAG Hacking with a Raspberry Pi (voidstarsec.com)
In the latest episode of "Hacking on a Budget," an enthusiastic hardware engineer with a flair for the theatrical introduces PiFex—a JTAG tool powered by the ubiquitous Raspberry Pi. This groundbreaking innovation, priced at the "too-cheap-to-consider-secure" level of $50, apparently promises to pop open your IoT devices like they're tins of sardines, all the while bathing in the glory of being "beginner-friendly." On the comment boards, a cutthroat battle rages between hobbyists debating whether their coffee maker should double as a Fort Knox replica or remain an accessible playground for anyone with a soldering iron and too much free time. Amidst paragraphs of tech jargon and links that half the readers can't open, someone drops a reminder that everything's hackable, with or without JTAG—inspiring paranoia in security forums for days to come.
165 points by wrongbaud 2024-05-06T13:59:42 | 30 comments
12. ▲ Show QN: Peerdb Streams – Simple, native Postgres change data capture
The tech elite descend on HN to unveil Peerdb Streams, another _revolutionary_ tool in the endless sea of "change data capture" solutions, apparently forgetting to mention why anyone should care in the first place. A proud employee from Prisma drops by to ensure everyone knows they've already invented the wheel, but with a different label. In the comments, a festival of jargons and compliance fantasies unfolds, with hopeful musings that their chunk of SQL wrangling might just be the silver bullet for data replication and event streaming dreams. Meanwhile, a lone voice asks why we're replicating data instead of querying it directly, only to be buried under acronyms and the sound of back-patting for tech solutions looking for problems.
115 points by saisrirampur 2024-05-06T17:00:42 | 22 comments
13. ▲ World Food Atlas: Discover local dishes and ingredients (tasteatlas.com)
Title: World Food Atlas Misadventures: Local Dishes or Tasteless Flukes?

The cutting-edge culinary site, Tasteatlas.com, takes a bold swing at becoming the Michelin Guide for the internet-savvy, GPS-dependent gastronomer. A reader—who's obviously never actually tasted 'authentic' Turkish cuisine—proudly parades the adventurous use of a local cookbook to unleash obscure Turkish dishes upon unsuspecting American party-goers. Meanwhile, culinary cartographers at Tasteatlas seem confused, shuffling tapas tips and tortilla techniques into a merry dance of misinformation. We must applaud the site’s valiant attempt to rival Google Maps in the misinformation Olympics while making use of a whopping *830* ‘partners’—all presumably experts in the art of the culinary wild goose chase. 🌍🍽️
84 points by dsego 2024-05-06T08:50:28 | 31 comments
14. ▲ Clojure: Managing throughput with virtual threads (andersmurphy.com)
In a surprising twist, the world nears salvation as a Clojure article attempts to explain managing "throughput with virtual threads"—because apparently, we needed more threads in our lives about threads. Comment section heroes flex their anecdotal muscles with tales of wrestling core.async, implementing glorified semaphore tricks, and deep dives into CSP implementation using virtual threads as if they're discussing cold fusion reactors. Count on links to other obscurities proudly presented as if uncovering the Dead Sea Scrolls. Can't wait for the next post explaining how all of this could've been solved with a simple cron job! ⏲️🔄
95 points by refset 2024-05-06T15:48:09 | 3 comments
15. ▲ Spending an afternoon in the Sizewell control-room simulator (bentasker.co.uk)
Ben Tasker graces us again with a riveting chronicle of his afternoon pretending to control nuclear power at the Sizewell control-room simulator. The play-by-play is so *engrossing* that it might momentarily make you forget you’re just reading about a grown man playing with what is essentially the world’s most expensive video game. The comment section, always a bastion of thoughtful critique, quickly spirals into a heated debate over who can claim the most vicarious experience sipping imaginary coolant in a fake control room. Clearly, the future of nuclear safety is in great hands. 🎮💥
74 points by speckx 2024-05-06T16:27:49 | 21 comments
16. ▲ More than 100 arrested in Spain in $900k WhatsApp scheme (therecord.media)
In a stunning display of what can only be described as peak economic desperation, over 100 individuals in Spain organized a grand fiesta of incompetence, netting a grotesque sum of approximately $9000 each via WhatsApp. Commenters, in a rare moment of collective enlightenment, question the economics behind the effort, hilariously contrasting it with Spain's GDP. In the midst of lamenting their own relatives' susceptibility to such scams, they segue into a techno-dystopian paranoia about the impending doom of voice cloning—because if there's one thing scarier than a simple text scam, it's a text scam with customizable ringtones. Meanwhile, the truly savvy minds preach the gospel of "calling back," a radical tactic sure to revolutionize our scam-ridden world. 📞💸
43 points by PaulHoule 2024-05-06T21:42:42 | 34 comments
17. ▲ Nukefix: Simulating your nuclear weapons program (nukefix.org)
At nukefix.org, the internet archives called and they want their web design back. The site, a nostalgic time capsule from when we all feared Y2K more than TikTok challenges, supposedly offers profound insights on nuclear warfare simulation but really just tickles the funny bone of anyone who’s seen a modern website post-2005. Commenters, in a delightful mix of terror and tech-nostalgia, toggle between mocking the site’s ancient aesthetics and diving into the frothy waters of nuclear apocalypse debates. One user almost lost their chance to reminisce about old internet glory thanks to a work filter – guess not all antiques are appreciated! 🤓💥
74 points by xk3 2024-05-06T15:45:50 | 21 comments
18. ▲ Color Concepts 101 (2001) [pdf] (hp.com)
In an exhilarating leap back into the early 2000s, Hewlett-Packard apparently decides that humanity has yet to grasp the complex nuances of Red, Blue, and Green. In a pdf that loads slower than a dial-up connection in a storm, HP meticulously details how colors combine, presumably for those who missed kindergarten that day. The digital denizens of Hacker News are overjoyed, falling over themselves to discuss advanced topics such as "remembering to print their homework in color next time" and competing to demonstrate who misremembered the most details about basic color theory from their own early education. Extra points are awarded for each commenter pretending they had to use cutting-edge machine learning to open a PDF. 🎨😂
63 points by omgwtfusb 2024-05-06T10:50:48 | 6 comments
19. ▲ Understanding UMAP (2019) (pair-code.github.io)
This week on HackerNews, the machine learning echo chamber discovers UMAP, a dimension reduction technique that everyone pretends to understand after skimming half a blog post. The comment section spirals into an unholy war of buzzwords as scores of startup founders and data science no-hopers battle to assert dominance by comparing it to PCA, t-SNE, and every other acronym they can vaguely recall from their undergrad stats class. Meanwhile, a lone programmer asks if this can be used to optimize their Pokémon GO strategy, only to be downvoted into oblivion by purists defending the integrity of "real" data science. Clearly, the future of AI is in good overqualified hands. 🙄
18 points by josh-sematic 2024-05-05T18:12:57 | 6 comments
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