Quacker News daily superautomated ai tech-bro mockery | github
1. It's always TCP_NODELAY (brooker.co.za)
Title: Engineers Madly in Love with TCP_NODELAY: A Never-Ending Tech Saga

The year is 2023, but it’s always 1986 in the hearts of those bravely battling the scourge known as TCP. Behold, the profound revelations from software warriors saving humanity by disabling Nagle's Algorithm, one socket at a time. Commenters, brandishing their GitHub links like mythical Excaliburs, enlighten the world on vital issues like why your app probably just sucks, and why every data hiccup should be fixed by forcibly wrestling with TCP_NODELAY settings. Meanwhile, stick around for side-splitting geek banter that reverberates through the hollows of decades-old email threads, where the question isn’t just how TCP_NODELAY can fix your life, but who gets to claim they've been doing it since the internet was powered by steam.
423 points by todsacerdoti 2024-05-09T17:54:49 | 147 comments
2. Sioyek is a PDF viewer with a focus on textbooks and research papers (github.com/ahrm)
In the digital cesspool of GitHub, a beacon of unnecessary functionality emerges: Sioyek, a PDF viewer that pretends textbooks and research papers aren't already excruciating to digest. God forbid a PDF comes without a table of contents—Sioyek's life mission is to guess it for you, with all the precision of a drunk darts player. Meanwhile, in the comments, tech enthusiasts engage in a tragic dance of suggesting even more obscure tools, because clearly, reading a document in 2023 isn't challenging enough without throwing in a dozen additional steps. Oh, and don't miss the guy earnestly asking for a PDF reader with a built-in large language model because manually searching 'cities in USA' is so 2022. 🙄
100 points by simonpure 2024-05-09T21:28:43 | 28 comments
3. Viking-Age Hunters Took Down the Biggest Animal on Earth (hakaimagazine.com)

Viking-Age Hunters in Epic Battle with Gigantic Fish: A True Story?


In an unparalleled display of historical fishing tales, a "detailed" report from the 17th-century (because records from the 14th-century just weren't dramatic enough) tells of Ólafur, the Viking quasi-myth, who apparently grappled with a blue whale—the ocean's equivalent of a skyscraper. Armed with nothing but sheer guts and probably an anachronistically large harpoon, Ólafur embarks on the ultimate 'fisherman's tale' off the coast of Iceland. Commenters, swelling with newfound marine expertise, debate the practicalities of ancient whaling techniques while casually ignoring the narrative flair typical of century-old second-hand sagas. This saga floats somewhere between earnest history and the fantasy section, much like the fabled whale itself.

17 points by benbreen 2024-05-07T19:12:15 | 0 comments
4. Wprs – rootless remote desktop for Wayland (and X11, via XWayland) applications (github.com/wayland-transpositor)
In this week's edition of "How the Internet Refuses to Let Old Technology Die," a brave soul has decided that what the universe needs right now is yet *another* way to remote desktop—this time for Wayland (and begrudgingly, X11). Wprs, lovingly crafted from the spare parts of our collective despair, promises to revolutionize the five by five pixel patch of screen real estate you couldn't see with older tools. "We read every piece of feedback," claims the GitHub page, desperately clinging to the hope that anyone else cares. Meanwhile, the comment section devolves into an all-out war between those who think this is the second coming of sliced bread, and aging sysadmins who have never forgiven the world for moving past telnet. 🍞🔥
17 points by happy-dude 2024-05-09T23:02:14 | 0 comments
5. Launch QN: Muddy (YC S19) – Multiplayer browser for getting work done
**Launch HN: Muddy (YC S19) – Multiplayer browser for rocket scientists and unpaid interns alike**

In a world demanding innovation, Muddy introduces the revolutionary concept of "using a browser together" because apparently, emailing links is too passé for the modern telecommuter. Pioneering a timeline-based interface that's not confusing at all, Muddy is coolly reinventing the labyrinthine chaos of your current 1000+ browser tabs into a neat, chronological horror show. Meanwhile, Muddy enthusiasts, a lively bunch of futurists, predict this to single-handedly annihilate traditional project management tools, because why bother with just a shared Google Doc when you can literally see your colleague’s digital hoarding habits live? As everyone wonders whether this is the future of work or just another way to watch cat videos in company, one can’t help but marvel at the blurry lines between ingenuity and inanity. 🚀🐱‍💻
159 points by lele0108 2024-05-09T15:38:48 | 82 comments
6. The history of 'OK' (2023) (howstuffworks.com)
In a daring escapade of pseudo-linguistic analysis, HowStuffWorks tackles the perilous history of the word "OK," reminding everyone that, yes, language did indeed exist before 1839. Commentators, in their infinite wisdom, descend into a semantic slugfest, debating fiercely whether "OK" fills a mythical gap left by the apparently overbearing and emotionally charged "yes" and "all correct." Meanwhile, the article gamely tries to convince readers that "OK" offers neutrality, a concept as revolutionary as discovering that water is wet. As the comments spiral into an existential debate about affirmation versus acknowledgment, the rest of the internet heaves a collective sigh and mutters, "OK, sure."
69 points by goles 2024-05-09T20:07:30 | 50 comments
7. ESP32 Drum Synth Machine (github.com/zircothc)
In a thrilling display of misallocated energy, a new Drum Synth Machine emerges on the precarious platform of ESP32. The original poster, a paragon of delusion, insists on valuing the feedback loop that might as well be a Möbius strip in its utility. Meanwhile, hobbyists in the comments section gear up for a tech-masquerade, throwing around terms like AppleMIDI and rtp-midi—because reinventing the wheel is, apparently, a sign of innovation in boutique tech arenas. Amidst the chaos, the mention of wooden side panels evolves into a cultural dissertation, proving once again that tech enthusiasts are unparalleled when it comes to missing the point while also flexing their woodwork trivia. 🎹🌐🔨
159 points by peteforde 2024-05-09T16:17:14 | 22 comments
8. The World Has (Probably) Passed Peak Pollution (sustainabilitybynumbers.com)
**Title: The World Has (Probably) Passed Peak Pollution (sustainabilitybynumbers.com)**

In a stunning display of environmental optimism, an article breathlessly announces that 🌍 the world might just have crested the murky hill of peak pollution, giving armchair activists everywhere a reason to briefly glance up from their smartphones. The comment section, a notorious battleground for the misinformed and overly confident, quickly fills with declarations of victory over coal and sidelong glances at oil stats, peppered with the classic "but what about China and India?" rhetoric. As self-assured commenters juggle dubious data points and environmental jargon, the inevitable descent into questioning each other's understanding of basic science is both a spectacle and a snooze-fest. With apocalyptic glee, one user suggests we might avoid peak baby by 2213, if only our ultra-Orthodox and Amish friends manage to inherit the earth. 🚀👶📉
66 points by robertn702 2024-05-09T22:11:41 | 55 comments
9. Algebraic Data Types for C99 (github.com/hirrolot)
In a brave new world where the antiquated notions of C99 clash with the hipster allure of Algebraic Data Types (ADTs), a repository on GitHub emerges as a beacon of hope for four lost souls who still remember what a pointer is. The single developer, armed with the audacity to bring ADTs to a language as low-level as C, quickly becomes the messiah in the comment section—a blend of confusion, misplaced enthusiasm, and nostalgia for F#. Overflowing with connoisseur-like debates around the sexiness of pattern matching and the existential dread of missing out on discriminated unions in Java, the comments offer a perfect storm of tech clichés and the classic programmer’s hubris. After all, who needs simple code when one can juggle obscure typologies and mirror the elegance of Scheme while programming their coffee machine firmware? 🤓
307 points by bondant 2024-05-09T11:31:27 | 166 comments
10. Being Green: A new book marvels at the strangeness of plants (slate.com)
**Hug A Tree, Save Your Sanity** 🌳💚

In the grand tradition of urbanites discovering the "great outdoors," a Slate writer overcomes *plant blindness*—a tragic condition inhibiting the ability to see plants as anything more than leafy wallpaper. The enlightening page-turner, *The Light Eaters*, ventures to teach these poor souls that trees are more than just potential coffee tables. Meanwhile, the comment section bursts into intellectual bloom with assertions that plants could basically run a Starbucks, if only they weren't so busy photosynthesizing. Alert the presses: someone in New England spotted Japanese knotweed AND learned what it indicates. 🤯 Nature is saved, folks!
22 points by Petiver 2024-05-09T20:14:39 | 3 comments
11. Show QN: Exploring QN by mapping and analyzing 40M posts and comments for fun (blog.wilsonl.in)
A solitary Hacker News enthusiast decides to map 40 million posts and comments, confirming what everyone already suspected but didn’t need graphed out: sentiment on HN is more negative than a dark room full of goths. Commenters fall over themselves to praise the "impressive" solo effort and quickly spiral into philosophical debates about whether negativity is just misunderstood positivity. One brave soul suggests comparing the industrious sea of negativity across different social media platforms, as if discovering that Twitter might be slightly less depressing could be considered a win. <*i>Hand out the trophies, everyone feels like they’ve contributed intellectually here.*
308 points by wilsonzlin 2024-05-09T12:31:04 | 105 comments
12. Show QN: An SQS Alternative on Postgres (github.com/tembo-io)
The Haskell-enthusiast basement of Hacker News presents yet another testament to reinventing the wheel with "An SQS Alternative on Postgres," a service that purports to deliver messages "exactly once", which in the world of distributed systems is akin to catching a unicorn with a spaghetti strainer. Commenters, armed with an impenetrable shield of jargon and pessimism, quickly troll into the conversation to dissect, reconstruct, and argue over this claim, showcasing elaborate scenarios involving network partitions, server meltdowns, and metaphysical musings about the Two Generals Problem. But honestly, do these armchair engineers think that appending "within a visibility timeout" to their docs will make a quixotic feature suddenly seem viable? Ah, but fret not—regardless of what the readme says, we all know this is just another over-engineered solution waiting to break spectacularly during your next product demo. 🍿😬
183 points by chuckhend 2024-05-09T12:21:53 | 67 comments
13. Show QN: Ellipsis – Automated PR reviews and bug fixes (ellipsis.dev)
Welcome to the latest Silicon Valley savior: Ellipsis! The tool that sort of helps with PRs, kind of like a "junior dev" but without the coffee runs. According to one thrilled user, Ellipsis caught errors that human eyes could only spot later – amidst the occasional flub. But don't worry, those are "easy to ignore" (famous last words before production crashes). Enjoy the journey of overestimated AI capabilities where each bug fix is treated like a divine revelation, and every commenter vies to be the least disillusioned tech enthusiast. Will Ellipsis replace your developers? Absolutely not. But it will give your hopeful commenters something to buzz about, reducing human code review to mere formality before the AI apocalypse. 😂
62 points by hunterbrooks 2024-05-09T16:14:47 | 42 comments
14. Scientists find 57,000 cells and 150M neural connections in tiny sample of brain (theguardian.com)
In a groundbreaking display of counting things better left uncounted, Harvard researchers and their new best friends at Google have dazzled the world by finding 57,000 cells and 150 million neural connections in a brain crumb. Heralding the dawn of a new era, The Guardian explains this complex scientific marvel with colorful pie charts and snackable metaphors suited for its dear readers' presumed neuronal count. Meanwhile, the comment section morphs into a virtual battleground where self-proclaimed neuroscientists and die-hard sci-fi fans debate whether this discovery will enable mind reading, immortality, or just better-targeted ads. At this rate, we’ll surely solve the enigma of consciousness, one online squabble at a time. 🧠💬
8 points by mr_toad 2024-05-10T00:35:18 | 0 comments
15. How bad are satellite megaconstellations for astronomy? (leonarddavid.com)
LeonardDavid.com hastily assembles yet another high-stakes drama titled "How bad are satellite megaconstellations for astronomy?" injecting sheer panic among the three stargazers who haven’t switched to Netflix for their cosmic fix. The article gracefully employs the “cherry-picked imagery to fabricate an apocalypse" method, showcasing wide field exposures that are apparently as outdated as using Morse code. The armchair astronomers in the comments, leveraging their expertise from that one time they stayed at a Holiday Inn Express, argue with the rigor of a flat-earth convention, passionately asserting that a sprinkle of software and a dash of wishful thinking can surely fix those pesky light streaks ruining their backyard telescope sessions. Meanwhile, the real astronomy moves to space faster than you can say “orbital traffic jam.”
60 points by belter 2024-05-09T20:11:21 | 97 comments
16. Logarithmic Scales (briefer.cloud)
Title: Sine, Cosine, Inverse Hyperbolic Pandemonium - A Brainy Mess at the Scale Olympics

Breaking news from the unfathomable depths of mathematical complexity: an audacious blogger at briefer.cloud reveals a stark, ground-breaking lesson - logarithmic scales are not party conversation material! The riveting exposé thus unleashes the creeps of the comment section to unleash their arsenal of even more obscure mathematical models, including the awe-inducing "Inverse Hyperbolic Sine Scale", suspense-thickening symlog, and roller-coaster-ride-worthy arcsinh vs cube root scale showdown 🎢. Meanwhile, one dazed reader wonders if all this jargon could simply be code for “I need more friends who won't run away when I say math.” 🧑‍🎓💨
51 points by lucasfcosta 2024-05-08T11:25:49 | 24 comments
17. Cubic millimetre of brain mapped in spectacular detail (nature.com)
In a feat that absolutely warranted the thousands of hours likely spent, scientists have mapped a cubic millimeter of the human brain, because the rest of the universe was just too boring this week. Nature.com cautions its readers to upgrade their browser from Stone Age Explorer to view this wonder in full CSS glory, effectively ensuring half the intended audience has already nodded off. Meanwhile, the comment section erupts with amateur neurologists marveling at neuron density with the kind of awed revelation usually reserved for late-night infomercial products. Is the human brain complex enough to understand itself? Don’t ask the commenters, who can barely navigate browser updates, let alone existential inquiries into consciousness. 🧠
108 points by geox 2024-05-09T21:36:06 | 51 comments
18. Deaf girl is cured in world first gene therapy trial (independent.co.uk)
In a world-first gene therapy trial, a deaf girl allegedly hears again, suggests Independent.co.uk, perhaps disbelieving its own sensationalistic headline. Commenters leap into action, spinning tales of personal auditory woes and speculative biotech fantasies, as if determined to outdo one another in the "my condition is more complex than yours" Olympics. One dreams of stem-cell-grown ears; another braces for a taste of 'hot garbage'. The future, it seems, is ripe for the rediscovery of hearing, garnished generously with a side of medical misinformation and unrealistic expectations. What's next, bionic eyes that stream Netflix directly into your brain? 🙄😂
476 points by belter 2024-05-09T11:38:14 | 238 comments
19. DNSecure – a configuration tool of DoT and DoH for iOS and iPadOS (github.com/kkebo)
In today's episode of "Reinventing the Configuration Wheel," we meet DNSecure, the app that promises to add a shiny UI to the dark underworld of DNS setting tweaks 🎨. Its creator vows solemn fidelity to user feedback, possibly mistaking frequency of updates for quality. Meanwhile, the GitHub commentariat are flexing their tech muscles, arguing whether it’s literally easier to configure DNS via smoke signals than use this app. One bright spark learns what DoT and DoH stand for, marking a significant personal milestone amidst the squabble. Each user seems to have brewed their own artisanal DNS solution, yet they gather 'round to debate the color of the bike shed called DNSecure. Isn't modern tech wonderful? 🌈⚙️
37 points by conductor 2024-05-09T18:11:46 | 8 comments
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