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▲ Llama3 implemented from scratch (github.com/naklecha)
In an era where _rewriting from scratch_ is the new cool, one brave internet knight revealed Llama3 implemented with the audacity of a high school CS project. Enthusiastic commenters marvel over the simplicity of replacing big tech with 960 lines of C and a prayer, conveniently glossing over the trivialities of data, scale, and ethical labor practices. Cue the amateur coding lords who, inspired by the minimalist codebase, suddenly believe they're a GPU whisper from launching Skynet. Meanwhile, someone's deeply troubled by an anime girl in the docs – priorities, folks! 🎭
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348 points by Hadi7546
2024-05-19T18:42:06 |
87 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ The Lunacy of Artemis (idlewords.com)
Title: The Lunacy of Artemis
In the latest installment of "Semantic Gymnastics & Outer Space," idlewords.com graces us with The Lunacy of Artemis. The comment section, a delightful cesspool of misinformation and armchair expertise, reveals that not only does the far side of the Moon exclusively host Pink Floyd tribute concerts, but also everyone's uncle works at NASA and knows *the real truth.* Shocker: SpaceX might do space stuff by itself (unprecedented!), and NASA remains in a bureaucratic love triangle with inertia and public funds. Watch out, experts! The Internet has read half a Wikipedia article and is ready to school you.
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56 points by feross
2024-05-19T23:02:41 |
14 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Operation CHARM: Car repair manuals for everyone (charm.li)
In the latest heroic attempt to democratize car repair, some heroically questionable website named Operation CHARM has surfaced, sporting a treasure trove of *all* the pirated car manuals you could possibly not bother reading. Thankfully, a legion of greasy keyboard warriors is already on deck expressing their half-hearted enthusiasm while nostalgically lamenting the halcyon days of comprehensive manuals that didn't just suggest "replacing the thingy." An eternal shrine to "2013-last-good-year," the site stops short of current models, likely due to unresolved legal fears or sheer forgetfulness. Meanwhile, every commenter with an internet connection provides unsolicited links to every vaguely related corner of the web, reveling in a chaotic mishmash of right-to-repair rants and misty-eyed reminiscences of what cars used to be. 🛠️🚗
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102 points by sergiotapia
2024-05-19T20:39:12 |
27 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Coding My Handwriting (amygoodchild.com)
Title: Coding My Handwriting – A Lesson in Redundant Robotics
In an astonishing feat of avoiding straightforward solutions, Amy Goodchild decides that basic handwriting just isn't complicated enough and embarks on digitizing her scrawl. Commenters, equally thrilled to propel this Sisyphean effort, toss in links to similar YouTube exploits and GitHub repos, seemingly forgetting that fonts have existed for years. One astute observer can't fathom why Goodchild's digital cursive doesn't behave like analog cursive, inspiring a technical dissertation on letter joins that nobody asked for. Meanwhile, the real hero seems to be anyone who made it to the end of the article to view the "beautiful" artwork without getting lost in the semantics of splines and script synthesis. 🎨🖋️
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251 points by tobr
2024-05-19T17:15:29 |
17 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ The War on Weeds (noemamag.com)
The latest intellectual brawl at Noema—dubbed "The War on Weeds"—launches an *ambitious* assault on the tyranny of dandelions and their leafy cohorts, promising a revolution in soil testing from the comfort of one’s overgrown backyard. Commenters, in the throes of their own botanical skirmishes, parade a cocktail of anecdotes and half-baked science. One enlightened soul suggests DIY soil testing kits as the future of suburban farming—because adding more plastic vials to landfills is exactly what Mother Earth needs. Elsewhere, an archetypical anecdote about a veteran dad and his liberally educated daughter takes a bizarre turn into agricultural biopolitics, reaffirming everyone's faith in the internet's ability to connect seemingly unrelated dots into a terribly weird web. 🌿🔬📦
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17 points by abscond
2024-05-18T20:24:32 |
6 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Beating Jeff's 3.14 Ghz Raspberry Pi 5 (jonatron.github.io)
Welcome to yet another round of "Pushing the Pi to Pointless Peaks," where Jeff decides that a Raspberry Pi running faster sounds cool and stops at nothing, common sense included, to achieve it. Using more voltage and cooling than the average Arctic expedition, Jeff inches his Pi up to 3.14 GHz—a perfect nod to everyone's favorite mathematical constant, but, shockingly, not to reliable performance. Commenters, equally oblivious to the law of diminishing returns, cheer on the thermal circus, sharing their own fever-dreams of delidding chips and strapping on Peltier coolers, as if the Raspberry Pi is planning a trip to the sun. Meanwhile, outside the overclocker’s bubble, the rest of the world is quietly getting work done on machines that were actually built for speed. 🙄🔥💻
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67 points by jonatron
2024-05-19T21:02:36 |
8 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Unprojecting Text with Ellipses (2016) (mzucker.github.io)
Welcome to yet another adventurous episode of programming encased in self-aware irony titled "Unprojecting Text with Ellipses". Brace yourself for the groundbreaking discovery that, yes, coding it can indeed quadruple your timeline compared to doing it manually—but hey, who's counting hours when you can count lines of code instead? Dive deep into the comments where zealots and masochists alike ponder the virtues of quadrilaterals over bounding boxes, while casually tossing around terms like 'Merino-Gracia paper' with the casual flair of someone referencing their grandma's apple pie recipe. Amidst this scholarly slapfight, our brave author admits his approach might just be an impressively convoluted academic exercise. Spoiler: it is. But fear not, gentle commenters, your valiant struggles with understanding basic geometry and text projection can continue unhampered by practicalities. 🤓
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38 points by nmstoker
2024-05-19T21:08:17 |
4 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Swarming Proxima Centauri: Picospacecraft Swarms over Interstellar Distances (astrobiology.com)
Another day, another group of Silicon Valley space cadets with a PowerPoint and no perspective. Today on astrobiology.com, enthusiasts drool over sending a swarm of tiny, ill-conceived gadgets to Proxima Centauri, about as achievable as my cat learning quantum physics. Cue the chorus of commenters, high on delusions of grandeur, seriously debating the logistics as if their high school model rockets qualify them for aerospace engineering. Will humanity reach the stars or just star in their own disconnected reality show? Stay tuned, or maybe just don't. 🚀🤦♂️
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163 points by Brajeshwar
2024-05-19T14:33:10 |
88 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Meteor Just Seen in Portugal (reddit.com)
In an astronomical turn of events that has temporarily distracted the masses from their existential dread, a meteor was spotted in Portugal. Redditors, ever the astrophysicists, flocked in droves to discuss this glowing ball of cosmic irony, offering their not-so-groundbreaking insights into atmospheric science, conveniently forgetful of their usual preoccupations with cat videos and arguing about pineapples on pizza. Within the hallowed threads, amateur conspiracy theorists battle the enlightened skeptics, while both camps fiercely ignore the actual science—proving once again that everyone's a rocket scientist in the comments section of a Reddit post about space rocks.
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136 points by gehwartzen
2024-05-19T21:01:15 |
29 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Riven (filfre.net)
At filfre.net, another historical byte washes ashore, recounting the mind-numbing tale of Robyn and Rand Miller, the MacGyvers of Myst, who somehow convinced the world that PowerPoint slides could be a game. Enter *Riven,* their next exhilarating endeavor where you double-click your way through a glorified screensaver, proving the everlasting adulation for eye candy over substance. Comments section warriors rally valiantly behind their pixelated hill, ready to die on it, defending artistic "purity" and "complexity" with the fervor of a teenager discovering Wikipedia. A gathering of cyber-sages, all too eager to remind naysayers that, yes, in fact, "you just don't get the genius of it." 😒🎮
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473 points by doppp
2024-05-19T03:34:45 |
149 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ A floppy disk MIDI boombox: The Yamaha MDP-10 (nicole.express)
"Hacker News finds yet another relic of the past to circle around, this time it's the Yamaha MDP-10, a machine that eats floppy disks like Silicon Valley eats startups. One enlightened commenter dances on the grave of General MIDI, reminiscing about how grotesquely inadequate everything sounded compared to the time-honored .MOD scene and all marvels of modernity they had access to. Another reminds us, in a bout of nostalgic technophilia, that old MIDI tech was the spark for our modern digital audio atrocities—ignoring the sample-sized cheese debate about whether one sound can please every ear. Meanwhile, the MIDI purists and retro tech hoarders organize their floppy collections for another playback session, swearing by the sonic 'maturity' missed by the modern ear."
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60 points by zdw
2024-05-19T16:13:35 |
10 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Ubuntu 24.10 to Default to Wayland for Nvidia Users (omgubuntu.co.uk)
In a daring move that surprises absolutely no one, Ubuntu decides that Nvidia users should also enjoy random crashes and graphical glitches with Wayland in their upcoming 24.10 release. The blogosphere explodes with twelve technically-illiterate "Linux enthusiasts" who treat this news as the second coming of Linus himself. Comments rapidly devolve into a cesspit of self-righteous keyboard warriors battling over Nvidia vs. AMD, while the rest of humanity continues to not care. Ubuntu, proudly leading the charge into a future where every display bug is a "feature." 🐧🔥
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38 points by MilnerRoute
2024-05-19T22:16:25 |
23 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Transforming a QLC SSD into an SLC SSD (theoverclockingpage.com)
This week on theoverclockingpage.com, a brave soul attempts to turn a pumpkin into a carriage by transforming a QLC SSD into an SLC SSD, because who cares about practicality when you can live on the bleeding edge of data storage alchemy? Watch in awe as complex technical details are reduced to what amounts to a tech-themed fairy tale, complete with hopeful patches and smoke-and-mirrors benchmarks. Meanwhile, the comment section becomes a battleground where keyboard warriors with PhDs in armchair engineering argue viciously over the nuances of SSD endurance and performance gains. It's like watching gladiators fight over who can overclock their toaster more efficiently. 🚀💾
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216 points by userbinator
2024-05-19T09:30:16 |
129 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ AI doppelgänger experiment – Part 1: The training (julienposture.substack.com)
In an unprecedented display of narcissism wrapped in the guise of "science," some blogger decides that the world absolutely needs an AI that can mimic them. Because, of course, the first thing humanity lacks is *another* digital version of someone desperately clinging to relevancy online. The comments section devolves into a bizarre echo chamber where tech bros applaud the groundbreaking effort of teaching a machine to replicate someone probably no one knows. 😂 Who knew AI could be tasked with such an existentially crucial role as becoming Julien 2.0?
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142 points by julienposture
2024-05-19T16:19:06 |
86 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Meringue Philosophy (meringue.readthedocs.io)
In the latest edition of internet literary wonders, a dedicated blogger has decided to exalt the intellectual virtues of meringue, a dessert that desperately needed scholarly attention. Crowning this pastry with the pretentious title of "Meringue Philosophy," the author assaults the unsuspecting dessert with a verbose analysis that undoubtedly makes the egg whites quiver in their sugary matrix. Commenters, in a stunning display of missing the point, argue pedantically over whether Plato would have preferred his meringue lemon-flavored or plain, because what's more philosophical than aligning ancient Greek thinkers with confectionery preferences? Watch as higher learning meets high calories, one egg white at a time. 🎓🍰
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18 points by Vadim_samokhin
2024-05-19T19:49:04 |
4 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Compilers for free with weval (bernsteinbear.com)
Title: Magic Compiler Beans and the DIY Debacle
From deep within the enchanted forests of WebAssembly lore emerges the tale of weval, a chipper new demigod promising to transmute interpreters into compilers with the sprinkle of partial evaluation fairy dust. A wizard named Chris preaches the gospel to the earthly denizens of the Northeastern Programming Research Castle, ensuring attendees that indeed, this isn't your grandmother's assembly line. The crowd is spellbound, perhaps too dazzled by the shiny facade to notice the clanking gears behind the curtain – where whispered rumours speak of heavy manual tunings and annotations dancing like shadows. Commenters, in a vibrant display of Stockholm syndrome mixed with delusions of grandeur, argue passionately over the number of angels that can dance on the head of a semantic pin, concluding that, despite numerous trips to the well of disenchantment, future pilgrimages are surely warranted. 🧙♂️💻✨
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161 points by todsacerdoti
2024-05-19T11:33:43 |
29 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Ask QN: Video streaming is expensive yet YouTube "seems" to do it for free. How?
The technologically perplexed wanderers of Hacker News grapple with the ancient mystery of how YouTube manages to stream videos without directly charging viewers. Surely, the concept of ad revenue supporting free services isn't just for the simpletons, but here we are. Commenters engage in a battle of wits, mostly unarmed, as they hypothesize unrequested strategies ranging from blockchain nonsense to resurrecting Google Reader as if it holds the secret to eternal wealth. Meanwhile, ads continue to roll, data continues to be mined, and the clueless carry on scrolling, ever oblivious.
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127 points by pinakinathc
2024-05-19T17:51:41 |
122 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Puzzle made by the WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange for the university quest (wondrousnet.blogspot.com)
Julian Assange, in a dazzling display of what else he could have done besides infuriating world governments, crafts a puzzle for a university quest. Quest participants, demonstrating typical collegiate overconfidence, treat the puzzle like an escape room designed by a near-forgotten philosophy major rather than the cryptographic musing of a high-profile asylee. Commenters flood the blog with a mixture of mock-admiration and conspiracy theories, eagerly connecting non-existent dots, firmly convinced that the puzzle doubles as a cryptic blueprint for Assange's next sensational leak. Spoiler: it's just a puzzle.
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14 points by dpivchik
2024-05-19T22:20:29 |
0 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Hertz Charging a Tesla Renter for Gas Was Not an Isolated Incident (thedrive.com)
Hertz, in a groundbreaking move that defies the basic tenets of both energy and physics, continues to slap hefty gas fees on Tesla rentals. Clearly, Hertz executives think electricity is made by burning dinosaur juice, just like in the old days. Commenters, true scholars of both transportation and irony, suggest Hertz's next innovative charge could be WiFi fees based on the weight of data transferred, because, why not? In the fiercely competitive race to the bottom for customer service, Hertz is evidently gunning for gold. 🏆💸
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81 points by peutetre
2024-05-19T22:52:01 |
62 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Teaching Algorithm Design: A Literature Review (arxiv.org)
In yet another pivotal moment for academic verbosity, the breathtakingly unnecessary literature review entitled "Teaching Algorithm Design" fascinates dozens with its extensive citations and eye-wateringly mundane conclusions. As the paper plods through every conceivable detail about teaching algorithms, commenters on arXiv display an impressive range of obliviousness, debating whether Python or COBOL is the optimal language for educating the unwashed masses in algorithm design. Meanwhile, the rest of the functioning world continues to not read 50-page reviews on algorithm pedagogy, preferring instead to subject themselves to less painful experiences, like reading YouTube comments or watching paint dry. 🎓💤
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14 points by belter
2024-05-19T20:01:29 |
0 comments
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