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▲ Leaked OpenAI documents reveal aggressive tactics toward former employees (vox.com)
OpenAI, the ever-humble champion of ethical AI, apparently plays a mean game of keep your mouth shut with its ex-employees, according to leaked documents Vox stumbled upon while pretending journalism isn't just about clickbait. Has Sam Altman been as honest as an AI-generated resume? Readers in the comments swear they'd never sign such NDAs, obviously posting between job applications to less-hypocritical tech giants like Facebook or Google. 🙄 In a stunning display of collective amnesia, everyone seems to forget that corporate secrecy is older than the COBOL code running their banks.
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595 points by apengwin
2024-05-22T22:22:30 |
197 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ US Justice Department to Seek Breakup of Live Nation-Ticketmaster (bloomberg.com)
In a shocking display of late-stage capitalism awareness, the US Justice Department decides to maybe, just maybe, challenge the monopolistic hug of death that Live Nation-Ticketmaster has been giving the live event industry. Bloomberg pens an article that is essentially a glorified CAPTCHA prompt, proving you can't even access journalism without proving your humanity first. Commenters, in a frantic display of economic expertise honed by years of Googling conspiracy theories, argue tirelessly about whether this is the death of live entertainment or just an overpriced inconvenience fee shifting hands. Market analysts predict a sharp increase in the sale of popcorn as bystanders watch corporate titans and internet randos duke it out in the most epic comment section skirmish of the quarter. 🍿😂
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369 points by 1986
2024-05-22T22:39:51 |
134 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Show QN: Route your prompts to the best LLM (unify.ai)
In the latest episode of Silicon Valley's "Innovate because we can, not because we should," a brave startup, unify.ai, disrupts the chaos of choosing between which barely distinguishable language model to use by making the decision for you. Thrilled Hacker News commenters dive headfirst, debating the existential nuances of automated prompt-routing like medieval scholars arguing over how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. Most are blissfully unaware that the "best LLM" is the one not used to generate more startup ideas. Truly, a pivotal moment for humanity. 🙄
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100 points by danlenton
2024-05-22T15:07:20 |
31 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Pluckable Strings (spiel.com)
The enlightened scribes at Spiel.com have outdone themselves this week, unraveling the cosmic secrets of "Pluckable Strings" with the kind of clarity you'd expect from someone who recently discovered the word "quantum" at a suburban cocktail party. Commenters, eagerly riding the intellectual slipstream, exchange condolences for each other's obvious lack of Ph.Ds, sharing insights that make a magic 8-ball look like Stephen Hawking. If you ever wondered what happens when the blind lead the blind down the rabbit hole of string theory, wonder no more. 🌀👓
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437 points by bcjordan
2024-05-22T16:05:06 |
94 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Show QN: Neosync – Open-Source Data Anonymization for Postgres and MySQL (github.com/nucleuscloud)
This week on Hacker News, a brave user introduces Neosync: yet another groundbreaking open-source tool designed to solve a problem no one realized they had. The tool anonymizes data for Postgres and MySQL because apparently, making yet another database tool is still cooler than fixing any real problems. Commenters are tripping over themselves to praise the initiative, mostly because it's open-source and they didn't have to pay for it or understand it. They've taken the post's assurance of "taking feedback seriously" as an invitation to demand features that will turn this simple data anonymization tool into an all-encompassing AI platform by the end of the quarter.
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128 points by edrenova
2024-05-22T17:53:45 |
28 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Try Clojure (tryclojure.org)
In a stunning display of irrelevance, the technology masochism community unveils "Try Clojure," a website designed to convert the uninitiated into devotees of yet another niche programming language destined to be loved by dozens. Enthusiasts, mistaking frustration for enlightenment, flock to the comments to one-up each other with tales of recursion and functional purity from the smug comfort of their ergonomic, split keyboards. Meanwhile, pragmatic programmers around the world continue to get actual work done with languages that don't sound like medieval ailments. Clojure, making sure job security by obscurity is still a thing. 🧙♂️
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316 points by ducktective
2024-05-22T18:11:34 |
208 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Cortile – Linux auto tiling manager with hot corner support (github.com/leukipp)
In a thrilling new chapter of open-source redundancy, GitHub introduces Cortile, the auto-tiling manager no one knew they needed until someone decided to reinvent the wheel with "hot corner support". The developers eagerly reassure us that every piece of feedback is a treasured gem, which might explain why the software does exactly what three others already did. Meanwhile, in the comments section, a delightful ensemble of armchair developers engage in heated debates about the existential necessity of hot corners, dividing into camps of those who want to make their lives "more efficient" by milliseconds and those nostalgic for the golden age of manually resizing windows. It's 2023, and we're still finding exciting ways to shuffle rectangles on a screen. If reinventing the rectangle sounds like your cup of tea, welcome to your new home on GitHub! 🎉🤓
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77 points by smartmic
2024-05-22T20:56:20 |
12 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Why Are Sloths So Slow? (slothconservation.org)
On slothconservation.org, a groundbreaking exposé unveils the stunning revelation that sloths are slow because - hold your gasps - they just are. Shattering the foundations of zoology, the article explains in painful detail that sloths are basically living bean bags, revealing nothing we didn't sleep through in third-grade science class. Commenters, embracing their inner sloth, churn out puns slow enough to make a tortoise cringe, while competing for the title of Captain Obvious in a sea of "Did you know they're slow?" insights. Truly, a pinnacle of human intellect on parade. 🐢🧠
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33 points by yamrzou
2024-05-21T08:55:56 |
14 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Emacs used as a message router in Germany's ATC systems in the 1990s (2021) (emacswiki.org)
In an astonishing revelation that shocks precisely no one, it emerges that Germany thought using Emacs as a message router in ATC systems was a brilliant idea back in the '90s. Because, why not entrust airborne lives to a text editor whose complexity rivals that of the aircraft it's supposed to be assisting? Enthusiasts on the emacswiki.org dive deep into technical anachronisms, competing fiercely to prove who can remember the most obscure Emacs commands. Meanwhile, the casual reader is left wondering if there's anything Emacs *can't* do, aside from being easy to use.
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97 points by signa11
2024-05-21T10:18:00 |
30 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Voyager 1 Resumes Sending Science Data (nasa.gov)
In a stunning display of holding onto the past, NASA proudly announces that Voyager 1, a relic from a time when bell-bottoms were high fashion, has resumed sending science data from beyond the solar system. Internet hobbyists, who apparently frequent NASA’s website in between critical YouTube comment sessions, are tripping over each other to express half-baked insights about space "science" they barely grasp. One commenter excitedly theorizes that the spacecraft might hit a space alien—presumably to save humanity from our inevitable self-destruction. Meanwhile, the real heroes are the unpaid interns trying to keep a 45-year-old antenna pointed the right way. 📡👽
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102 points by NKosmatos
2024-05-22T21:51:40 |
21 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Show QN: PBT – A property-based testing library for Ruby (github.com/ohbarye)
In yet another thrilling episode of "Reinventing the Wheel for the Sake of Github Stars," a hopeful coder unleashes PBT, a property-based testing library that promises to revolutionize Ruby testing by implementing ideas already old enough to vote. "We read every piece of feedback," the repo's documentation bravely declares, as if wading through keyboard-warrior critiques is a Herculean task worthy of applause. The HN commentariat, ever eager to one-up each other, dives into a frenzy of comparing PBT to every other testing tool ever conceived. Who will emerge victorious in this intellectual Thunderdome? Only the Github stars will tell. ⭐🍿
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163 points by ohbarye
2024-05-22T13:58:25 |
18 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Confessions of a College Professor: All the remedial classes in one place (professorconfess.blogspot.com)
Another brave academic straps on their armor of creaky self-righteousness to ***valiantly*** tackle the Sisyphean mess that is U.S. higher education. In a staggering feat of originality, "Confessions of a College Professor" recycles the age-old tale of woe and incompetence, serving cold leftovers to anyone disillusioned enough to think this is a fresh meal. Commenters, ever eager to one-up each other with their own tragic tales and half-baked solutions from their armchairs, contribute richly to the echo chamber. 🎓🤦♂️ The blind leading the blind, but, hey, at least they're leading something, right?
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25 points by Plasmoid
2024-05-22T20:56:08 |
21 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ To the Person Sitting in Darkness (1901) (gutenberg.org)
In a daring display of 🌟vintage wokeness🌟, a literary fossil from 1901 resurfaces on Gutenberg to lecture us about colonialism with all the finesse of a steam-powered sledgehammer. Because if there's anything the internet adores, it's grappling with historical nuance through the smudged lens of modern superiority. Meanwhile, the commenters rush in to out-virtue each other, engaging in a thrilling contest to see who can express the most outrage while contributing the least to any meaningful discourse. "Ah, to exist in simpler, albeit darker, times," muses a commenter, sipping their ethically dubious coffee, feeling both enlightened and superior. 🎩✨
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10 points by ebcode
2024-05-21T08:06:14 |
0 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Show QN: B-field, a novel probabilistic key-value data structure (`rust-bfield`) (github.com/onecodex)
Another day, another coder unveils a snazzy cryptographic party trick: B-field. It's a key-value data structure dressed in a confusingly probabilistic coat, and yes, Rust fans, you can now add "obscure data structures" to your Christmas list. The developer swears by every feedback, which translates to incorporating every whim uttered in an echo chamber filled with mathematical fanatics and Rustaceans. Commenters, with the fervor of conspiracy theorists, dive deep into debates about performance benchmarks, potential edge cases, and existential discussions about data integrity—likely writing their comments from a dim, caffeine-stocked cubicle.
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91 points by boyd
2024-05-22T17:53:16 |
28 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Microsoft Paint's new AI image generator builds on your brushstrokes (petapixel.com)
In a desperate attempt to remain relevant in the AI arms race, Microsoft unveils an update to the ancient relic known as Paint, allowing users to enhance their crude scribbles with AI-generated imagery. Dubbed "innovation," this feature boldly rescues mediocre doodlers by transforming their mouse-driven disasters into slightly less embarrassing disasters. Commenters, caught in a nostalgic haze, are torn between hailing it as the second coming of digital art and mourning the death of "real" artistic talent, because pressing a button is now on par with mastering the Renaissance art techniques. Watch as the art world *quivers* in its boots.
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61 points by mikece
2024-05-22T11:23:20 |
89 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Systematically Improving Your RAG (jxnl.co)
In an earth-shattering departure from standard Internet fare, jxnl.co decides to publish "Systematically Improving Your RAG," masquerading as profound advice on how managing your RAG (Whatever that is. Probably some mysterious key to eternal productivity, or maybe just a colorful spreadsheet). Throngs of productivity aficionados, evidently starved of fresh blog fodder, descend upon the comments to boast about how tweaking their RAGs has catapulted them from middle management to, well, slightly higher middle management. Watch in awe as spreadsheet lovers rediscover the revolutionary concept of "organizing information."📊😱
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122 points by jxnlco
2024-05-22T17:22:27 |
43 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Tensor Puzzles (github.com/srush)
At the forefront of combining sparse matrices with incomplete Sudoku puzzles, a GitHub repository named "Tensor Puzzles" emerges as humanity's last hope against the unbearable weight of having too few distractions. The repository's author ensures us that every piece of feedback is read and taken very seriously, likely storing each "lol cool project" and "does it scale tho?" in a meticulously crafted monolithic tensor no one will ever query. Commenters oscillate between treating the project like the second coming of Gödel and sharing their desperately insightful "tensor as pizza topping" analogies, solidifying the internet's role as an endless echo chamber of unasked answers and chaotic brainstorming. 😂🧩 Because if you're not taking things to multidimensional arrays, are you even brainstorming?
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85 points by _false
2024-05-22T13:48:09 |
9 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Show QN: Simple and fast resume document generation with AI (cvgist.com)
Another day, another Hacker News "revolutionary" tool – this time, it's cvgist.com, promising to disrupt the ancient art of resume writing by letting an AI do it for you. Commenters trip over themselves to bow down to their new algorithmic overlords, fervently debating whether their employment history sounds more compelling in Times New Roman or Calibri. Meanwhile, the real world continues to require actual skills and experience, much to the dismay of many enthused users who thought machine-generated bullet points would land them a C-suite position at Google. Oops. 💼🚀
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29 points by prodtorok
2024-05-22T19:11:15 |
17 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Faking William Morris, Generative Forgery, and the Erosion of Art History (maggieappleton.com)
In the latest disaster to erode what nerds on the internet call "culture," Maggie Appleton dives deep into how AI is weaponizing the aesthetics of long-dead artists to churn out soulless mockeries that could fool even a moderately inebriated art historian. The comment section quickly devolves into a cesspool of armchair experts arguing whether William Morris would have used Python or JavaScript to defend himself against such an atrocity, missing the point as efficiently as AI misses human emotion. Stay tuned for next week's episode where we fake Van Gogh with crayons and a left ear made from Play-Doh.
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3 points by ishqdehlvi
2024-05-22T05:31:30 |
0 comments
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