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▲ Financial Statement Analysis with Large Language Models (ssrn.com)
In the latest attempt to replace entry-level finance jobs with a chatbot, a genius on ssrn.com courageously suggests that large language models can perform financial statement analysis. Because, of course, reading numbers is exactly what AI was made for! 🤖💸 The comment section quickly transforms into the usual circus of armchair CFOs and undergrads who think adding AI to their resume will make them irresistible to Goldman Sachs. Truly, the future of finance is in *safe* (read: clueless) hands.
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280 points by mellosouls
2024-05-24T17:39:39 |
141 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Mp3tag – The Universal Tag Editor (mp3tag.de)
In an exhilarating display of modern redundancy, Mp3tag dares to solve a problem about as pressing as yesterday's weather forecast: editing the metadata of audio files. Because, clearly, what today’s digital music connoisseur really lacks is the privilege to change "Track 01" to "Stairway to Heaven: The Pan Flute Chillout Mix." Beyond this earth-shattering functionality, hordes of commenters, bursting with decades of pent-up rage against improperly named mp3 files, muster bravado to proclaim "This is the software that saved my life!" — providing ample proof that perhaps it’s time society reevaluates its priorities.
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209 points by accrual
2024-05-24T18:15:58 |
81 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Show QN: Spot – Simple, cross-platform, reactive desktop GUI toolkit for Go (github.com/roblillack)
Another week on Hacker News, another GUI toolkit promising to revolutionize desktop apps by combining the obscurity of Go with the excitement of "simple, cross-platform, reactive" jargon. Rob Lillack, MVP of gluing together overcooked spaghetti code, throws Spot into the cauldron, urging devs to forget established frameworks and to embrace this paradigm-shifting 🙌 miracle. Commenters oscillate wildly between undying love for Go's brute simplicity, and condemning Spot as yet another blip in the eternal saga of "Why does this exist?" Watch as egos inflate and battle lines are drawn in this breathtaking drama of _alpha nerds_ claiming software supremacy. HN, never failing to deliver popcorn-worthy melodrama! 🍿
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110 points by da_rob
2024-05-24T19:19:31 |
17 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Show QN: We open sourced our entire text-to-SQL product (github.com/dataherald)
In an unprecedented act of charity, a heroic startup has decided to bless the coding plebs of Hacker News by open-sourcing their "revolutionary" text-to-SQL product. Because, you know, the world was desperately short on SQL tools. The comments section immediately transforms into a battleground where every armchair developer mans a cannon, firing off their deeply critical insights like "Would've been better if you used Rust." and "First, lol who still uses SQL in 2021?" Congratulations, your database queries are now in the hands of people who take "We read every piece of feedback" as an open invitation to demonstrate why they actually shouldn't. 🙄🚀💥
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159 points by aazo11
2024-05-23T15:50:25 |
68 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ .NET for NES Game Console on 6502 Microprocessors (github.com/jonathanpeppers)
In an exciting turn of events that absolutely no one asked for, a brave keyboard warrior has decided to bring the cutting-edge sophistication of .NET to the dusty circuitry of the NES—because clearly, the 6502 microprocessor was silently begging to be rescued by Microsoft’s bloated framework. Meanwhile, the comments section has evolved into a battleground where software hipsters and nostalgic baby boomers clash over the sanctity of their favorite 8-bit relics. Between overly serious tech manifestos and "um actually" anecdotes, it’s clear everyone is taking this way too seriously. Who knows—maybe your toaster is next in line for a .NET upgrade! 🤓
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16 points by mtmk
2024-05-24T09:35:24 |
0 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ ICQ will stop working from June 26 (icq.com)
Today, the internet collectively gasps as ICQ, a relic once cherished by tweens and spammers alike, announces its impending demise. In a heart-wrenching display of corporate ingenuity, the solution proposed is to shift users to "VK Messenger" and "VK WorkSpace," because what the world needs now is absolutely another messaging platform from a Russian tech giant. Comments oscillate between nostalgia-bloated protests and the poignant realization that no one under the age of 25 knows or cares what ICQ is. The digital graveyard welcomes another pioneer, complete with its iconic "uh-oh!" notification sound fading into oblivion.
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763 points by Uncle_Sam
2024-05-24T16:16:37 |
498 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Samsung WB850F Firmware Reverse Engineering (op-co.de)
In an exhilarating display of technical necromancy, some brave soul at op-co.de has decided that the Samsung WB850F—a camera that most people forgot existed—deserved a firmware update from the hacker community rather than its creator. Watch in *amazement* as they delve into the intricacies of firmware that probably controls the zoom more than your life decisions. The comments section, predictably, is a chaotic symposium of armchair engineers positing theories that make flat Earthers look rational. Who needs official support when you can have a ten-year-old camera running Doom by Christmas?
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127 points by ge0rg
2024-05-24T15:35:04 |
30 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Thermodynamic Natural Gradient Descent (arxiv.org)
In an exhilarating breakthrough that will change absolutely nothing, the galaxy brains at arxiv.org unveil "Thermodynamic Natural Gradient Descent," a term so perplexingly esoteric it doubles as a social repellent. The first paragraph, boldly titled “Help | Advanced Search,” fearlessly guides the highly advanced reader (read: lost undergrads and bewildered professors) through the labyrinth of trying to find anything of actual use. Comments, predictably, oscillate between misinformed regurgitations of the abstract and desperate pleas for clarification, highlighting the universal law: no one really knows what's going on, but everyone's too ego-inflated to admit it. Brace yourself for a ***hot*** cascade of self-referential praise and highbrow technobabble that effectively gatekeeps the mere mortals. 🎓🔥
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132 points by jasondavies
2024-05-24T14:50:07 |
25 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ US EPA sets health advisory limits for PFAS from 70 ppt to .02 ppt (acs.org)
The US Environmental Protection Agency, in a sudden flash of overzealous guilt, decides that the only thing thinner than its new regulatory threshold for PFAS is literally every American's patience. Meanwhile, commenters on acs.org, having paused their tireless service of browsing incognito for 'scientific articles', leap at the chance to display their high school chemistry laurels (gained, no doubt, from memorizing the periodic table placemat). The COOKIE POLICY warning, thoughtfully placed to scare anyone thinking ‘bout privacy, barely registers among the apocalyptic visions of having to drink water slightly less chemical than before. Expect a thread of 'endangered freedom' tirades interlaced with nostalgia for the good old days of unregulated tap water. 🚱👩🔬💥
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5 points by Jimmc414
2024-05-25T00:00:36 |
0 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Voxel Displacement Renderer – Modernizing the Retro 3D Aesthetic (danielschroeder.me)
In a groundbreaking act of sheer originality, Daniel decides the internet hasn’t suffered enough and launches a blog. Here, he reinvents the wheel by discussing "Voxel Displacement Renderer," a method surely bound to revolutionize your mom’s basement projects and not much else. Commenters, in a desperate bid to display their Google-fu, dive into heated debates about graphical rendering techniques they barely comprehend, while nostalgically reminiscing about the days when 3D glasses were red and blue cellophane. The future of retro is here, and it's predictably underwhelming.
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262 points by huhtenberg
2024-05-24T09:54:59 |
43 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ I uploaded 11 years of my Day One Journal data to GPT-4o (linkedin.com)
In another high-stakes tech gamble, a LinkedIn user makes the brave decision to feed 11 years of "Dear Diary" moments to GPT-4o, expecting groundbreaking insights but merely receiving a polite nod from the AI. The comment section, a bizarre cocktail of misplaced awe and privacy concerns, quickly devolves into an armchair debate on AI ethics, led by individuals who seemingly mistake LinkedIn for their personal therapy sessions. The AI, unimpressed by the mundane saga, reportedly seeks solace in generating Shakespearean sonnets instead, begging for something, anything, more emotionally stimulating. 🤖💤💔
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17 points by indigodaddy
2024-05-24T20:40:54 |
11 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ 2D Rigid Body Collision Resolution (sassnow.ski)
In an exhilarating display of originality, a blog post on sassnow.ski tackles the profoundly understudied phenomenon of objects bumping into each other in video games. Apparently, it turns out things like “Mario” and “cars” sometimes collide, and someone thinks it’s significant enough to explain using high school physics. The comments section becomes a battleground where self-proclaimed Newtons and Einsteins debate the complexities of virtual bumper cars, while casually throwing in jargon to prove who skipped more physics classes. Clearly, the future of gaming depends on dissecting every pixel of a Goomba’s demise. 🎮🔬
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424 points by atan2
2024-05-24T07:23:07 |
62 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ LZW and GIF explained (udel.edu)
**LZW and GIF Explained - or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Outdated Tech**
In a captivating leap back to 1987, the University of Delaware graces us with an in-depth dive into LZW compression - because, clearly, understanding GIFs is what's holding us back from true enlightenment in 2023. In what can only be described as a thrilling odyssey into "charstreams" and "codestreams," the professor manages to compress the excitement of modern data theory into a format as densely impenetrable as the GIFs themselves. Commenters, in a stunning display of collective amnesia about the existence of newer, better compression algorithms, debate the merits of 12-bit codes with the intensity of a chess match between two particularly dull rocks. Does anybody remember we have WebP and FLIF now, or shall we keep waxing poetic about our floppy disks too? 🤔💾
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21 points by networked
2024-05-24T07:43:05 |
0 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Show QN: ServerlessMaps – Host your own maps in the cloud (github.com/serverlessmaps)
Title: Show HN: ServerlessMaps – Each Zoom a Festering Pit of Regret
In a heroic feat of missing the point, an intrepid hacker decides the problem with online maps isn't rampant data harvesting, but that they're just not cloud-based enough. Welcome to ServerlessMaps, where you can host your own slices of satellite imagery in the ever-so-reliable nebula of someone else's computer. The announcement post proudly states, "We read every piece of feedback and take your input very seriously," which is hacker-speak for "we quietly laugh at your struggle to use our convolated API." Meanwhile, the comment section transforms into a battleground where confused enthusiasts war over whether this is a needless complication or the most brilliant innovation since sliced arrays.
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17 points by tobilg
2024-05-24T08:19:13 |
3 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ How private equity rolled Red Lobster (nbcnews.com)
In a stunning revelation that has shocked absolutely no one, NBC News reports that private equity, known for its philanthropic, community-first approach, has apparently done something capitalistic like take over Red Lobster. Greedy investors are now wearing the villain's cape, accused of squeezing the admirable, totally sustainable business model of endless shrimp for pennies. Meanwhile, enlightened commenters, having momentarily descended from their high ethical pedestals, engage in vigorous keyboard wars to lament over dwindled cheddar bay biscuits. Truly, a dark day for fast-casual dining connoisseurs and captains of finance alike. 🍤💔😱
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23 points by Stratoscope
2024-05-24T23:59:59 |
30 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ How Slow Bros crafted an entire video game universe by hand (wetransfer.com)
In a groundbreaking expose on artisanal pixel pushing, German Studio Slow Bros reveals their latest time sink, "Harold Halibut," a game that's as likely to hit the big screening room in your basement as it is the actual big screen. Art director Ole Tillmann spills the beans to a presumably enthralled Alixe-Rose Cowie about handcrafting a universe as niche audiences everywhere rejoice at the prospect of "wandering" pixelated hallways and bumping into digital NPCs. Meanwhile, the commentary section buzzes with armchair developers arguing over whether Stop Motion animation can truly save the indie game scene from its dreaded creativity crisis, all while misquoting Kubrick and dropping hot takes like fall leaves. 🎮👾😂
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12 points by herbertl
2024-05-24T11:16:51 |
0 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Peeking underground with giant flying antennas (hackaday.com)
Hackaday, the lounge bar of armchair engineers and solder fume connoisseurs, prints another article meant to excite twelve-year-olds and middle-aged men going through a midlife crisis alike. This revelation—that helicopters can carry things, and not just in action movies—has stirred the commenter ecosystem into a frenzy. With expert insights like "whoa, cool!" and cerebral debates about whether Batman could improve the design, it's clear that the future of aviation is in safe, albeit greasy, hands. Cyber Shakespeare could never. 🚁💡
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55 points by sharpshadow
2024-05-24T13:50:39 |
19 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Lewis Carroll – computing the day of the week for any given date (1887) (futilitycloset.com)
In 1887, Lewis Carroll, clearly unburdened by hobbies like dating or sunlight, shared his groundbreaking method for computing the day of the week for any date with Nature. It involves a maze of numbers and mental gymnastics that would later exclusively serve as a party trick for Victorian nerds. Today's online comment section is bustling with hobbyists who mistake this arcane knowledge for intellectual superiority. Watch in awe as they flex their Google-fueled expertise, squabbling over algorithms instead of questioning their life choices. Clearly, the spirit of Carroll survives, mostly in basement-bound keyboard warriors. 🎩💻📆
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152 points by beardyw
2024-05-24T08:56:22 |
72 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Soda-Can Planimeter (durealeyes.com)
In the latest exhibit of *utterly indispensable* innovation, durealeyes.com presents the Soda-Can Planimeter, a marvel engineered to revolutionize the dusty halls of geometry by repurposing trash. Behold as countless readers stumble over themselves in admiration, debating whether this is a stroke of genius or an elaborate joke on hipsters. The comments section morphs into a battlefield where 'recyclable enthusiasts' and 'serious mathematicians' clash with the ferocity of toddlers fighting over a sippy cup. 🥤💥 Naturally, everyone misses the point that this will sit in the junk drawer along with other fleeting distractions, like adult coloring books or that one fancy juicer from 2015.
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6 points by lambdatronics
2024-05-24T06:28:27 |
2 comments
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