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▲ Zellij: A terminal workspace with batteries included (zellij.dev)
In a revolutionary act of defiance against the ever-advancing complexity of software, a group of plucky developers presents "Zellij: A terminal workspace with batteries included". This breathtaking innovation clever warranting an ancient floor tile pattern name acts essentially as... your computer's terminal, but now with more boxes to arrange your text-based chores. Commenters, unfazed by redundancy, trip over each to declare this yet another quantum leap in making their lives resemble a 1980s hacker movie, while simultaneously asking breathlessly if it supports emojis or can help manage their 'extensive' collection of todo.txt files. Indeed, multitasking within multitasking is here, and it’s all the control freaks ever yearned for! 🤓💾
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71 points by thunderbong
2024-05-25T22:02:29 |
13 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Majorana, the search for the most elusive neutrino of all (lbl.gov)
In another riveting episode of *Quantum Hide and Seek*, physicists continue their wild goose chase for the Majorana neutrino, an elusive particle that is, somehow, supposed to simultaneously be and not be its own antiparticle. Inspired by Schrödinger's cat, but less alive and much less furry, this particle remains as undetectable as a whisper at a heavy metal concert. Over in the comments, the armchair experts toggle between praising the ingenuity of science and doomposting about how this will all inevitably lead to the creation of a black hole in their kitchen. Because, of course, understanding the fundamental symmetries of the universe is really just about ruining breakfast. 🙄
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42 points by bilsbie
2024-05-25T20:35:59 |
2 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Helen Keller on her life before self-consciousness (scentofdawn.blogspot.com)
This week on scentofdawn.blogspot.com, yet another blogger decides the world must know about Helen Keller's thoughts—or what they assume were her thoughts—through the magical lens of retrospective pseudo-philosophical babble. Commenters, donning their finest CAPS LOCK armor, rush to declare their profound connection with Helen's "deep insights," showcasing their usual dedication to missing the point. As expected, this monumental discussion about historical self-awareness rapidly devolves into a fiery debate on whether a vegan diet could have enhanced Keller's other senses. 🙄 Truly, the internet remains undefeated in its quest to relentlessly overanalyze and underthink.
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82 points by ahiknsr
2024-05-24T14:48:45 |
12 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Abusing Go's Infrastructure (put.as)
Title: Abusing Go's Infrastructure (put.as)
In an eye-opening display of curiosity, a blogger apologizes for potentially rehashing old news while bravely venturing into the arcane world of Go's infrastructure. As the commenters emerge from their basement lairs, they clutch their artisanal Club-Mate, ready to drop verbose opinions that mirror the original post's usefulness—essentially none. Watch as they compete in the Hacker Olympics, each trying to demonstrate who can craft the most convoluted solution to a problem no one really has. It’s a thrilling escapade into the collective echo chamber where everyone is the smartest person they know. 🤓🏆
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311 points by efge
2024-05-25T12:50:00 |
63 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ People spend more when prices end in .99 (2018) (kenthendricks.com)
In a ground-breaking revelation that will shock absolutely no one, kenthendricks.com exposes the decades-old retail secret: prices ending in .99 somehow mysteriously coax more dollars from the wallets of consumers. The investigative prowess here is truly stunning as they unearth this clandestactic tactic known only to everyone who has ever shopped. Meanwhile, the comments section becomes a battleground of armchair economists and self-proclaimed marketing gurus, each vying for the crown of Captain Obvious. They enthusiastically share their own tales of seduction by the nefarious ".99," complimenting the hard-hitting exposé with insights like "psychology is real!" and "marketing tricks are tricky!" 💸🙄
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40 points by alihm
2024-05-25T12:55:06 |
36 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Making my dumb A/C smart with Elixir and Nerves (milanvit.net)
In an inspiring display of overengineering, a brave software developer has decided to grant intelligence to an air conditioner using Elixir and Nerves, because presumably pressing a button was too strenuous. The blog post explains, with excessive detail, how turning a simple cooling device into a nightmarishly complex IoT gadget is obviously what every modern household needs. Commenters, unified in their ability to miss the point, engage in fierce debates over whether JavaScript or Python would have caused fewer family breakdowns. One hero suggests using Morse code and two cans connected by string as a possible improvement. 🙄
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39 points by Cellane
2024-05-22T22:19:10 |
9 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Diffusion Models (andrewkchan.dev)
Title: ✨The Future Told By A Pencil✨
In an earth-shattering revelation on andrewkchan.dev, a brave soul chronicles a year wasted with pencils and sketchpads just as our Silicon Overlords unleash AI models that paint prettier pictures than Monet on sedatives. Panic ensues 🎨🤖. Meanwhile, in the comments, digital Rembrandts and society’s saviors keyboard-smash about the existential dread of art made by soulless algorithms, clearly missing the memo that we’ve already subcontracted our souls to social media. Can't wait for the follow-up post on how AI has inspired a new art genre: existential crisis!
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39 points by reasonableklout
2024-05-24T23:35:26 |
2 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Microsoft, Khan Academy Partner to Make Khanmigo Teaching Tool Free (thejournal.com)
Microsoft, in its latest attempt to save the world through PowerPoint presentations, has teamed up with the non-profit purveyor of high-speed naptime, Khan Academy, to launch Khanmigo. This revolutionary tool promises to "make education accessible," much to the joy of students desperate to replace teachers with more screen time. 🙄 In the comments, self-proclaimed tech savants and burned-out educators engage in the age-old battle of "who understands education less," while ignoring the thrilling potential of making school even more like a YouTube binge. #Disruption 🎉
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11 points by Dowwie
2024-05-23T14:55:38 |
0 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ So good, it works on barbed wire (2001) (sigcon.com)
In a thrilling display of electrical bravado, Dr. Howard Johnson dazzles dozens with his latest work, "So good, it works on barbed wire." Festooned in the pages of EDN magazine, this masterpiece teaches desperate engineers how to channel their inner MacGyver using components presumably salvaged from a dumpster. Commenters, mistaking complexity for genius, engage in a bewildering ballet of one-upmanship, each asserting a deeper misunderstanding of basic principles. Truly, Dr. Johnson has inspired the masses to boldly solder where no one has soldered before.
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163 points by voxadam
2024-05-23T16:20:23 |
36 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Medieval Bologna was full of tall towers (openculture.com)
The internet's leading archive of unnecessary knowledge, OpenCulture, graces us with a riveting exposé on how Medieval Bologna was basically the Manhattan of the Dark Ages. Who knew that lack of urban planning could lead to a skyline rivaling an anthill? History enthusiast commenters stumble over themselves in a rush to connect this to modern-day urban woes, missing the point as fabulously as the architects of Bologna missed the invention of the zoning law. Another day, another *deep* dive into history’s irrelevance bin. 🏰🤦♂️
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63 points by geox
2024-05-23T12:08:53 |
20 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Taming floating-point sums (orlp.net)
Title: "Taming floating-point sums (orlp.net)"
Summary: In a revolutionary twist that no one saw coming, a brave blogger attempts to tackle the Everest of software issues: adding numbers. Because, apparently, smashing the '+' key like a Neanderthal in your trendy Rust code just doesn't cut it anymore. Strap in as commenters emerge from the digital woodwork, armed to the teeth with unsolicited anecdotes about that *one time* their precision error was totally relevant. Witness this epic saga where mathematics meets melodrama!
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38 points by todsacerdoti
2024-05-25T20:28:38 |
19 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Why is x & -x equal to the largest power of 2 that divides x? (arunmani.in)
Title: Yet Another Groundbreaking Discovery: & and -&
In what is undoubtedly the breakthrough of the century if you're stuck in a 12th-century monastery without access to elementary textbooks, a brave blogger ventures into the mildly titillating world of bitwise operators. "x & -x equals the largest power of 2 that divides x," they proclaim, having stumbled upon this by reading an actual book—yes, those ancient relics with words in them! The comment section, a delightful cesspool of confusion, sees a legion of Tolkien-esque scribes, armed with their trusty Google-fu and half-baked understanding, debating whether this operation can help them finally figure out how to program their VCRs to record "Game of Thrones." Truly, we live in the age of enlightenment.
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18 points by arun-mani-j
2024-05-25T14:44:58 |
4 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Voxel Displacement Renderer – Modernizing the Retro 3D Aesthetic (danielschroeder.me)
Daniel decides the world hasn't suffered enough, so he introduces everyone to his latest blog where he's heroically fighting the dire shortage of pretentious tech posts with his "Voxel Displacement Renderer – Modernizing the Retro 3D Aesthetic." Throngs of disoriented tech enthusiasts, mistaking complexity for brilliance, flood the comments to either worship his GPU-wasting endeavors or vaguely question their life choices. Between debates about the merits of ray tracing versus rasterization, nostalgic tears for simpler times sprinkle the comment section, thoroughly soaking the keyboard warriors in their own retro-induced sweat. Surely, this is the content the internet was *designed* for. 🙄
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36 points by greeniskool
2024-05-23T20:41:36 |
2 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ The Cognitive Design of Tools of Thought (2014) [pdf] (ucla.edu)
In an exhilarating display of academic verbosity, UCLA releases a groundbreaking PDF that promises to redesign thinking itself, presumably because we haven't been doing it right for the last few millennia. Enthusiasts in the comments section proudly showcase their deep intellectual capacity by rehashing Intro to Philosophy concepts, sprinkling their insights with out-of-context sound bites from the document, inevitably leading to a digital brawl over AI's potential to replace them all. Most commentators manifestly didn't even glance at the original article, but why let that stop anyone from waxing lyrical about the ineffable flaws of human cognition? 🤔📚🤖
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129 points by andsoitis
2024-05-25T12:58:20 |
12 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Startup is about to install bladeless rooftop wind turbines on box buildings (electrek.co)
In a groundbreaking attempt to reinvent the wheel—or at least the fan—Aeromine Technologies has bamboozled investors into dropping a cool $9 million on what is essentially a roof-mounted blender missing its blades. Hailed as the future of wind energy by people who couldn't engineer their way out of a paper bag, these bladeless wonders promise to grace our box-shaped buildings with all the grace of a pigeon on a telephone wire. Meanwhile, the comments section has transformed into a battleground where advocates of pseudoscience clash gloriously with skeptics, both sides blissfully unaware of how energy, investments, or basic logic work. Forecast: a gale of misplaced investor enthusiasm followed by a light drizzle of schadenfreude.
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33 points by peutetre
2024-05-25T22:26:31 |
8 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Show QN: I built an Obsidian plugin to create notes from BibTeX (github.com/akopdev)
In an earth-shattering display of revolutionary innovation, a lone hero has crafted an Obsidian plugin that converts BibTeX into notes, because clearly, managing citations was the final frontier plaguing our digital notebooks. The inaugural post boasts a dedication to user feedback that is suspiciously overzealous, prompting visions of a frantic developer buried under an avalanche of GitHub issues. Commenters, in their infinite wisdom, oscillate between treating the plugin like the second coming of TeX and casually suggesting "minor" rewrites that fundamentally alter the entire project. As always, the community's commitment to not reading the documentation remains unshaken.
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61 points by akopkesheshyan
2024-05-23T20:18:52 |
3 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Rootless Docker in a multi-user environment (cmtops.dev)
In a groundbreaking display of obliviousness, cmtops.dev publishes yet another article on "Rootless Docker in a multi-user environment," a topic so thrilling that even Docker containers are desperate to escape from it. Armchair DevOps and self-professed experts flood the comments section, each performing an elaborate keyboard dance to prove that no one understands Docker quite like they do. They exchange arcane config snippets like wizards trading spells, all while probably causing more security breaches than they prevent. 🧙♂️💻🔥
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18 points by rducksherlock
2024-05-25T19:11:40 |
14 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Lessons Learned from My First Roblox Game (mandeepbhutani.com)
**Hacker News Reacts to *The Glacial Pace of Mediocre Game Development***
Watch in awe as a brave, pioneering soul discovers that game development *actually* takes time. 🚀🐢 Mandeepbhutani.com regales us with the odyssey of creating an "obby" that really breaks the mold by... adding *unique* obstacles. Revolutionary. Welcome to "Chill But Not Too Chill Obby," a title that perfectly embodies the lukewarm reception and the developer's commitment to barely surpassing mediocrity. Meanwhile, the Hacker News crowd, ever ready to miss the point, debates whether Roblox is the COBOL of game development or just a fad like Furbies. They offer "helpful" suggestions ranging from using assembly language for better obstacle efficiency to a deep dive into whether this is truly Agile development. 🍿🤓
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12 points by deliveryboyman
2024-05-23T15:24:21 |
6 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ &udm=14 – easy access to an AI-free Google search (udm14.com)
An intrepid startup has decided that what the internet really lacks is a pre-2010 Google experience and figured they could solve it with &udm=14. Finally, the problem no one cares about has met the solution nobody asked for. In the comments, tech aficionados who can't quite recall why they stopped using AltaVista wax nostalgic over their dial-up days and bash modern AI like grumpy old men shaking fists at clouds. A revolution in regression, surely! 🙄
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173 points by cratermoon
2024-05-23T03:47:41 |
23 comments
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