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▲ TTE: Terminal Text Effects (chrisbuilds.github.io)
In a world where apparently everything must blink or bounce to get noticed, chrisbuilds.github.io introduces "TTE: Terminal Text Effects," a library that wraps up the undue excitement of watching text *shimmy* across a screen. The comment section, a glorious battlefield where ASCII-art veterans and bloated-package enthusiasts collide, slams into a fierce debate about the potentially life-altering experiences wrought by rainbow-hued terminal outputs. Watch in muted horror as your CPU throttles itself into oblivion because, let's face it, you needed those *fireworks explosions* to really emphasize your "Hello, World." Truly, software development has peaked.
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831 points by makapuf
2024-05-28T17:31:48 |
134 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Llama 3-V: Matching GPT4-V with a 100x smaller model and 500 dollars (aksh-garg.medium.com)
In a daring stunt that boldly challenges the laws of computer science and common sense, a hobbyist programmer documents their adventure in trying to match the capacious intellect of GPT-4 with 'Llama 3-V,' a model about as powerful as a toaster. With a scant $500 and dreams larger than their dataset, the article joyously details their "breakthroughs" in machine learning, demonstrating that size isn't everything—unless we're talking about the gaping holes in their methodology. Shockingly, the comment section becomes a hybrid of a self-help group and a tech support helpline, where other aspiring data misers share *emotional support* and *sage* advice like “Have you tried turning it off and on?” and “Maybe more layers?” The collective delusion persists that money and hardware restrictions could somehow spur innovation, rather than just a migraine.
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182 points by minimaxir
2024-05-28T20:16:19 |
28 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Reproducing GPT-2 in llm.c (github.com/karpathy)
In an audacious display of redundancy, a brave keyboard warrior has finally managed to recreate GET-Yes-Two, an ancient text-regurgitating AI, in the dusty corridors of llm.c—because, obviously, the world was in dire need of another low-latency model to spit out verbose prose at whim. In the comments, armchair coders and self-appointed AI ethicists wage a relentless war of words, each trying to outdo the other in missing the point entirely. Discussions oscillate between the technical merit of using C for AI (like forging a spoon to dig a grave) and existential dread about AI overlords, with the occasional coder just happy to see the semicolon being used properly. 💻🤖🙄
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349 points by tosh
2024-05-28T15:58:46 |
68 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Ex-OpenAI board member reveals what led to Sam Altman's brief ousting (businessinsider.com)
**Title: Silicon Valley Soap Opera: Twitter Replaces Boardroom**
In a stunning display of corporate incompetence masquerading as high drama, OpenAI teaches us that you can run a company about as well as a viral tweet. Helen Toner spills the beans on "The Ted AI Show," revealing Sam Altman's penchant for using the board as his personal spoiler alert system - because who needs board meetings when you have Twitter? Commenters, in a whirlwind of misplaced technological expertise, alternate between calling for Altman's head and penning him love letters, because consistency is just another corporate policy to ignore. Will the real AI please stand up and fix this mess? 🤖🍿
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145 points by blackmanta
2024-05-28T23:13:33 |
45 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Tesla Settles Fatal Crash Suit Ahead of California Trial (ttnews.com)
In another riveting episode of Silicon Valley Soap Opera, Tesla waves the white flag of surrender (i.e., throws cash) to settle a lawsuit over another "self-driving" car that couldn’t quite grasp the concept of driving itself without committing manslaughter. The comment section, a hive-mind of armchair lawyers and Elon Musk's personal cheerleading squad, quickly devolves into a cacophony of conspiracy theories and misplaced outrage. They simultaneously blame the victim, the laws of physics, and occasionally, common sense, while hailing their Technoking as the besieged savior of mankind against, presumably, the evil empire of responsible driving. 🚗💥💸
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5 points by TheAlchemist
2024-05-29T00:53:33 |
0 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Proposal to change default annotation processing policy in JDK 23 (openjdk.org)
Title: Java Developers Face Existential Crisis Over Annotation Processing
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely nobody outside the Java community will care about, JDK 23 plans to change how annotations are processed, presumably because Java developers hadn't had enough of the configuration nightmare already. The PR and CSR were dropped in the group like a hot potato, sparking wild debates about whether explicit configuration is the new black. Comments quickly devolved into the usual cesspool of passive-aggression, as seasoned developers engaged in the ancient art of arguing over things that don't matter to anyone else. Stay tuned to watch this group reinvent several more wheels before breakfast.
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17 points by mfiguiere
2024-05-28T22:36:59 |
0 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Shadama: A particle simulation programming environment for everyone (tinlizzie.org)
The bright minds at HARC/Y Combinator Research have birthed *Shadama*, a revolutionary tool engineered to simulate particles, because clearly, reality wasn’t doing a good enough job. Powered by the trio of Yoshiki Ohshima, Dan Amelang, and Bert Freudenberg, Shadama promises a playground where even a *cat* could code complex simulations, or so they claim. A swarm of commenters, armed with the depth of understanding typically reserved for YouTube philosophy debates, gather to herald this as the game-changer for their unfinished basement projects, no doubt rewriting the laws of physics one particle at a time. 🤯💻🌌
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58 points by lloydatkinson
2024-05-28T20:25:20 |
4 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Show QN: I made a free app to calibrate your turntable by simply playing a song (okat.best)
In a bold move defying the natural order, an intrepid Hacker News user unveils a free app that "calibrates your turntable by just playing a song," because apparently, using a strobe disc is just *too* 1978. True to startup form, the app boasts of having "no ads," which inevitably leads to the Silicon Valley praise chorus wondering how such alchemy is monetized. Cue a parade of commenters squabbling over analog purity and digital devilry, while others whisper sweet nothings about venture capital opportunities. Don't you worry, someone will pivot this into blockchain by next week.
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271 points by okatbest
2024-05-28T14:23:28 |
157 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Steve Jurvetson's personal collection of Apollo Lunar Module parts (flickr.com)
In a heroic display of eBay prowess, Steve Jurvetson has amassed what he claims are parts of the Apollo Lunar Module, delighting space nerds and dust collectors everywhere. The flickr.com page is a feverish tableau of metal scraps that could just as easily be mistaken for a junkyard cosplay of SpaceX. Meanwhile, in the comment section, armchair astronauts and conspiracy theorists revel in one-upping each other with their technical acumen and lunar lore, completely overshadowing the possibility that these might just be pieces from Jurvetson's old toaster. After all, nothing says "I've made it" like owning what might be, but most probably isn't, a piece of the moon landing. 🚀💸
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86 points by gessha
2024-05-28T17:03:03 |
24 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Simple Speech-to-Text on the '10 Cents' CH32V003 Microcontroller (github.com/brian-smith-github)
The internet manages once again to find the least necessary use for a microcontroller by enabling it to perform speech-to-text, a task typically reserved for devices not powered by a hamster wheel. A Github wizard named Brian, outdoing the underwhelming, throws the CH32V003 microcontroller into the arena against modern processors, evidently mistaking David and Goliath for an instructional manual. Comment sections explode with armchair engineers who, despite not knowing the difference between C++ and a vitamin supplement, vigorously argue over algorithm efficiencies, desperately trying to relive their high school debate glory. The collective conclusion remains clear: if your technology is outdated, just throw AI at it and call it innovation.
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38 points by victor82
2024-05-28T19:20:38 |
5 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Eradicating N+1s: The Two-Phase Data Load and Render Pattern in Go (brandur.org)
Title: Developers Discover Loops, Celebrate
Today in revolutionary tech revelations, a brave coder at Brandur.org tackles the Herculean challenge known as the N+1 query problem—apparently on par with the moon landing, if the word count has anything to say about it. With the finesse of a freight train, the article unveils a wild, brand-new approach involving not making the same database request a gazillion times. The comment section becomes a battleground where devotees of Go argue the semantics of "verbosity" versus "expressive minimalism," while others reminisce about the good ol' days of solving such problems with the magic of Ruby fibers—or was it fairy dust? 🧚♂️ As always, the real deficiency not mentioned is common sense.
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36 points by gmcabrita
2024-05-28T20:23:40 |
15 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Happiness (complicated.world)
On the legendary website, complicated.world, the hive of evolved intellects tackles the question of "Happiness" – a concept apparently as elusive to them as a consistently rational comment. Readers are offered a kaleidoscope of vague platitudes mixed with the deep, scholarly wisdom equivalent to your old hippie uncle's dating advice. Each commenter vigorously competes to out-sad each other, contributing their gloomy anecdotes and misinterpreting quotes from philosophers more than a poorly subtitled foreign film. 🙄 Once again, the main takeaway is less about how to be happy and more a reminder of why visiting this page is a significant threat to anyone’s mental health.
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35 points by w_complicated
2024-05-28T19:16:10 |
18 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Show QN: Openkoda – Open–source, private, Salesforce alternative (github.com/openkoda)
The Hacker News circus rolls out yet another "groundbreaking" contraption from their bottomless top hat: Openkoda. It's an open-source savior aimed at dethroning Salesforce, crafted with the tears of those who finally realized their data might be worth something. Commenters, in a flood of keyboard righteousness, oscillate between treating the GitHub repo like the second coming of Linus Torvalds and foreboding gloomsayers predicting it will combust spontaneously on day one. Everyone seems to forget the golden rule: if it’s on Show HN, it’s guaranteed to solve all problems – real or mostly imagined.
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210 points by mgl
2024-05-28T17:11:56 |
82 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ API Shouldn't Redirect HTTP to HTTPS (jviide.iki.fi)
Title: HTTPS Or Bust: Why Your API's Security Theater Deserves Rotten Tomatoes 🍅
Once again the tech Illuminati graces us with a groundbreaking revelation: APIs redirecting from HTTP to HTTPS is akin to applying a band-aid on a severed limb. Thankfully, a brave soldier on the internet battleground has proposed letting everything crash and burn 🔥 instead of redirecting, because obviously, the best way to teach safety is by firing all the lifeguards. Meanwhile, the comment section becomes a battleground of armchair cryptographers and weekend warriors, arguing vehemently about the virtues of security purism vs practicality, unknowingly underscoring the vast emptiness of their Saturday night plans.
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303 points by oherrala
2024-05-28T19:42:34 |
145 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Researchers accurately dating a 7k-year-old settlement using cosmic rays (phys.org)
In a startling breakthrough rivalling the discovery that water is wet, researchers have managed to determine the age of ancient fireplace remains using something called "cosmic rays," reminding us that attending college is indeed not for everyone. Commenters on Phys.org, utilizing their extensive experience from watching *Ancient Aliens* and reading *Cosmos* for Dummies, eagerly debate whether this method can also be used to date their Star Wars action figures and leftover pizza. In a remarkable display of missing the point, one luminary suggests that "the cosmic rays might get confused with all the WiFi signals," proving once again that WiFi should perhaps be a controlled substance.
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99 points by wglb
2024-05-28T02:00:13 |
11 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ The problem with the Darling 58 genetically modified chestnut tree (nymag.com)
In an earth-shattering revelation that could shake the very core of our understanding of nature, nymag.com dives deep into the existential crisis presented by the genetically modified Darling 58 chestnut tree. Hordes of internet experts, who apparently double as botanists, geneticists, and ethicists in their spare time, flood the comment section to wage keyboard war over the Franken-nut. Their vigorous debates meander through the complexities of messing with Mother Nature, all while bravely defending the planet from their swivel chairs. Because, clearly, humanity's greatest hope against ecological disaster is a comment thread on NyMag.
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64 points by jseliger
2024-05-27T15:50:34 |
23 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ An air quality model that is evolving with the times (eos.org)
At Eos.org, the temple of never-ending environmental panic, a new article glorifies the latest air quality model that’s apparently "evolving with theos times." As if Mother Nature herself sat down to code in Python. Commenters, in a dazzling display of missing the point, argue fiercely over whether the model can predict the next smog-induced apocalypse or if it can also forecast their chances of getting a date. Spoiler: it can’t. Yet amidst their baseless fears and blind optimism about AI, many seem ready to bet their oxygen masks on its potential. Who knew breathing was so complicated? 🙄
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110 points by Brajeshwar
2024-05-28T14:22:52 |
40 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Electromagnetic Waves and Antennas (2016) (rutgers.edu)
In a riveting twist of academia, a document titled *Electromagnetic Waves and Antennas* emerges from the depths of Rutgers, offering a contact number and email, presumably because the author knows you'd rather call to complain than understand Maxwell's equations. Commenters, embroiled in deep intellectual battle, struggle to decipher whether this is a course outline or a cry for social interaction from behind stacks of impedance matrices. Most misunderstand both the content and purpose, but everyone agrees it's just *fascinating* that electromagnetic theory can now be used as a sleep aid. ⚡️😴
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56 points by exar0815
2024-05-28T21:02:50 |
3 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Generalizing Support for Functional OOP in R (r-project.org)
**Commentary on suffering through dual OOP systems in R**
Here we see the R community battling the eternal flame of confusion with its *two* proud OOP offerings: S3 and S4. These are not just versions but whole realms of unnecessary complexity christened in academic obscurity. The commenters, armed with their anecdotal evidence and half-baked workarounds, commence their usual dance — proposing solutions no one will implement and lamenting about the good old days when everything was simpler and equally broken. It's a rich tapestry of over-engineering meeting the immovable object of utter indifference.🔥🤯
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80 points by samch93
2024-05-28T15:19:00 |
33 comments
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