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▲ The GJK Algorithm: A weird and beautiful way to do a simple thing (computerwebsite.net)
In an awe-inspiring display of mathematical overkill, the latest article from computerwebsite.net dives into the GJK algorithm—a method so convoluted that it could only be described as "a weird way to do a simple thing." The article nitpicks through the complexities with the kind of enthusiasm you’d expect from someone who's just discovered the extra buttons on a microwave. The comment section, a veritable clown car of self-proclaimed tech savants, turns into a battleground where egos are bigger than the understanding of the subject. Each one outdoes the other in missing the point, in a spectacular orgy of missing the forest for the trees.
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223 points by arithmoquine
2024-06-12T17:35:09 |
33 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Launch QN: Overwatch (YC S22): OSINT platform for cyber and fraud risk
Launch HN: Overwatch (YC S22) deigns to solve every single cyber issue humanity has ever faced with its new OSINT platform, because until now, no one else thought to Google 'how to security'. This revolutionary tool will totally cease fraud because now it can be seen by a fancy AI watchdog, who probably won't just target ads at criminals instead. Commenters are divided between proclaiming this the savior of cyberspace and reminiscing about every sci-fi movie ever, revealing a touching faith in our benevolent startup overlords to not turn evil. Your data is in super safe hands now, folks.🕵️♓️
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119 points by Bisen
2024-06-12T15:32:53 |
71 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Diffractive Chocolate (arizona.edu)
The ivory towers of *Arizona University* clearly have too much research budget and not enough common sense, as they usher in the pinnacle of human achievement: diffractive chocolate. Because nothing screams practical application of an expensive physics degree like turning a Snickers bar into a science fair project. Amateur chocolatiers in the comments section are torn between celebrating this revolutionary breakthrough and mourning the death of dessert as we know it, with a generous sprinkle of those who apparently skipped basic science classes and are now experts in optical physics. 🍫🔬 Who knew your midlife crisis could taste so confusing?
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82 points by joebig
2024-06-12T17:27:33 |
24 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Show QN: PDF to Podcast – Convert Any PDF into a Podcast Episode (pdf-to-podcast.com)
In a world desperately clamoring for more ways to avoid reading, a hero emerges with "PDF to Podcast," a solution no one asked for but everyone will pretend to need. Watch as Silicon Valley disrupts the arduous process of moving your eyes left to right, transforming every dull PDF into a podcast episode. Commenters are divided between calling it the pinnacle of human innovation and arguing over the truly best text-to-speech voice for experiencing the riveting world of software manuals and terms of service agreements. The rest of us are stuck wondering if there are enough hours in the day to listen to all these PDFs while driving, working out, and pretending to work. 🎧📄😂
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45 points by knowsuchagency
2024-06-12T01:05:40 |
14 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Real-Time Settlers of Catan (ocallahan.org)
Title: Real-Time Settler of Digital Tantrums
In an electrifying moment of revelation, tech zealot Robert O'Callahan, attired in his finest moral fiber, decides the world truly needs yet another version of Settlers of Catan—but make it "real-time" because instant gratification is still in vogue. Breathing new life into the obscure genre of coding-meets-board-games, his earth-shattering innovation mostly serves to baffle those who've managed just fine with the analog version for decades. Meanwhile, the throngs in the comment section engage in mortal combat over the societal implications of virtual sheep trading, each contribution dripping with the oblivious irony that no one's Googled how to "actually" play the original tabletop game yet. 🐑💻
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99 points by Ivoah
2024-06-10T13:47:18 |
59 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Japan enacts law to curb Apple, Google's app dominance (kyodonews.net)
In a stunning display of legislative bravery, Japan has decided to take a stand against the horrifying oppression of two small indie projects known as Apple and Google. 🧐 The law, meticulously crafted in the mystical chambers of bureaucratic wizardry, is expected to immediately democratize the billion-dollar playground these underdogs dominate. Commenters, in a delightful exhibition of missing the point, alternate between hailing the move as the second coming of digital justice and condemning it for not simply banning smartphones altogether. Coupled with the obligatory comparisons to anime plot twists, it's a masterclass in internet discourse—truly.
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153 points by pjmlp
2024-06-12T19:43:50 |
96 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Designing the avocado of uncertainty visualization (stamen.com)
In a heroic attempt to solve first-world problems, a blog post titled "Designing the avocado of uncertainty visualization" emerges from the intellectual wilderness of Stamen.com. Apparently, a visualization shaped like an avocado is precisely what we've all been wrongfully deprived of when it comes to understanding uncertainty. The comment section quickly transforms into a battlefield where self-proclaimed experts debate whether avocados symbolize millennial angst or just plain old bad investment advice. It's a riveting showdown between people desperately trying to justify their liberal arts degrees and those who just really like guacamole.
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31 points by skadamat
2024-06-12T17:58:14 |
7 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Silicon Valley's best kept secret: Founder liquidity (stefantheard.com)
Title: Silicon Valley's Golden Rule: The Rich Get Richer
Silicon Valley reinvents feudalism, but with MacBook Pros and bean bags. Venture-backed founders, who've apparently mistaken themselves for Atlas shouldering the globe, justify hoarding equity like dragons hoarding gold. They passionately scream about their "risks" and "hard work" like teenagers who've just discovered Marxism and think they've solved economics. Meanwhile, in the comments, Internet warriors furiously type out essays on why exploiting early employees is just "good business," effectively turning LinkedIn into a less credible version of Reddit.
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1625 points by mooreds
2024-06-12T03:32:43 |
757 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Lexbor – An open source HTML Renderer library (github.com/lexbor)
In a groundbreaking revelation to absolutely no one, another open-source HTML rendering library, Lexbor, emerges from the digital void, proudly announcing its existence on GitHub. The developers, showcasing originality, affirm they "read every piece of feedback" and take it "very seriously," undoubtedly triggering sleepless nights overflowing with joy for all eleven users. Keyboard warriors in the comments section gear up to embark on the ultimate quest—nitpicking every line of code while simultaneously managing to propose features that will never see the light of day. Meanwhile, the world breathlessly awaits as they contemplate a question as timeless as HTML itself— do we really need another one of these?
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150 points by bratao
2024-06-11T20:16:23 |
14 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Terence Tao on proof checkers and AI programs (scientificamerican.com)
In a riveting explosion of unsurpassed intellect, Terence Tao gallantly reveals that proof checkers and AI programs are, in fact, useful in mathematics—groundbreaking stuff in case you missed the last couple of decades where this was already obvious. Over on Scientific American, eager minions of the comment section furiously pat each other on the back, pretending they, too, could chat with Tao at a cocktail party about non-linear equations and P versus NP, if only they weren't so busy arguing online. Meanwhile, skeptics bravely counter with hot takes like "AI will never understand the beauty of a real mathematical proof," because obviously, aesthetic appreciation is what's missing from AI, not decades of programming and datasets. Who knew? 🤖🧮
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206 points by antineutrino
2024-06-11T14:56:38 |
123 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Medieval game pieces emerge from the ruins of a German castle (artnet.com)
Hackernews discovers yet another *groundbreaking* revelation: some bits of old board games are dug up at a German castle, presumably by archeologists who couldn't find anything better to do with their time. Commenters, effortlessly shifting from experts in software engineering to medieval leisure activities, enlighten each other on the "obvious implications" this has for modern game theory and agile methodologies. Discussions quickly devolve from mild intrigue about historical artifacts to heated debates on whether Scrum or Kanban would have suited feudal lords better. 🏰🤓 Meanwhile, the true hero remains unacknowledged: the intern who probably spent hours cataloging these glorified dice.
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138 points by RobertJaTomsons
2024-06-11T09:51:48 |
66 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Twenty, a modern CRM alternative to Salesforce (twenty.com)
In a stunning display of originality that would make even Silicon Valley blush, "Twenty" emerges as the only other CRM tool in existence beside Salesforce. Promising to revolutionize your sales process with features that are *totally not like what’s already available*, Twenty proudly pioneers the terrain already trodden bare by its predecessors. Commenters, having absorbed the full depth of marketing jargon, are already crowning it the best CRM they've yet to use. Because, of course, the only thing tech enthusiasts love more than new features is proclaiming ecosystem shifts in comment sections! 🚀💬
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178 points by client4
2024-06-11T16:15:47 |
69 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Martin-Baker Ejection Seat Made Its First of 7,722 Saves 75 Years Ago Today (twz.com)
In a stunning celebration of not plummeting to an untimely death, the Martin-Baker ejection seat clocks in its 75th anniversary of first flinging a human, Jo Lancaster, from a malfunctioning airplane. Armchair pilots on twz.com marvel at the sheer audacity of someone inventing a seat that explodes you to safety, debating vigorously whether ejecting is merely the skydiving of cowards. Echoes of "my cousin's friend ejected once" ripple through the comments, blending seamlessly with sensitive queries about warranty coverage on explosive seats. Because nothing says 'customer satisfaction' like a good, old-fashioned blast into the stratosphere. 🚀😂
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43 points by vinnyglennon
2024-06-12T22:04:59 |
21 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ How to get the most out of Postgres memory settings (tembo.io)
In an awe-inspiring display of unnecessary detail, the latest blog post from tembo.io teaches us how to tweak Postgres memory settings until the end of time—or at least until your application collapses under its own weight. The comment section quickly devolves into a pit of despair as hobbyist DBAs argue over configurations they barely understand, each more eager than the last to prove their superiority in the high-stakes world of backend optimization. Meanwhile, the original poster throws in occasional vague responses, further igniting the dumpster fire of ego and misinformation. You'll come for the knowledge, you'll stay for the spectator sport of watching people pretend they aren't running everything on SQLite.
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219 points by samaysharma
2024-06-11T05:40:57 |
69 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Gerald Sussman: Programming is (should be) fun (2022) [video] (youtube.com)
In the latest digital circus, Gerald Sussman, an apparent sorcerer of the ancient craft of programming, delivers a lively sermon on why coding should be a barrel of laughs rather than a descent into madness. The spectators, a motley crew of would-be code jockeys and grizzled keystroke warriors, chirp in with their two cents, quoting Sussman like scripture and reminiscing about the "good old days" of programming when you could fix a bug by simply sacrificing a chicken. Dive into the magical world of hilarity where null pointer exceptions are just part of the "fun," and watch as seasoned pros and greenhorns alike slap their knees at memory leaks because, why not? Programming is just a game, right? 🤡💻
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49 points by nequo
2024-06-12T22:02:27 |
7 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Faxes from the Far Side of the Moon (2018) (damninteresting.com)
In an exhilarating display of nostalgia, "Faxes from the Far Side of the Moon" unearths the groundbreaking revelation that, yes, even in the vast emptiness of space, obsolete technology finds a way to be annoying. The article serves a dual purpose: mesmerizing technophiles with visions of ancient fax machines spitting out lunar secrets, and ensuring that somewhere, a history teacher prepares a thrilling “tech of yesteryear” presentation. Commenters, in a heady mix of awe and misplaced expertise, bandy about terms like "retro-tech" and "space fax synergy," while debating whether space ghosts prefer email or psychic mediums for their otherworldly communications. 🚀👻 Meanwhile, every reader under 25 Googles "What is a fax machine?"
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54 points by not_a_boat
2024-06-12T11:20:16 |
6 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Banana giant Chiquita held liable by US court for funding paramilitaries (bbc.com)
In an utterly shocking turn of events that could only surprise someone living in a hermetically sealed jar, a U.S. court has found Chiquita, the benevolent banana overlord, guilty of funding death squads in Colombia. Internet Commandos in the comments are split between calling for a boycott and questioning whether this could mean their beloved banana smoothie is now a war crime. "But their stickers are so cute!" laments one ethical consumer, while another bravely types, "Does this mean avocados are next?" Stick around while the internet solves international crime, one outraged tweet at a time. 🍌💣
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222 points by no_exit
2024-06-11T14:58:52 |
87 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Metaflora (metazooa.com)
In a bold move that absolutely no one asked for, *Metaflora* attempts to gamify the riveting world of plant classification, because every botanist’s dream is clearly to turn their lifelong study into a low-budget Flash game. Dive into the “broad and beautiful” family tree of the Viridiplantae, where players can gratify themselves by navigating the complexity that common gardeners dare not even Google. Commenters, eager to display their botanical prowess or lack thereof, engage in heated discussions about whether *Monstera deliciosa* counts as a level boss. Who knew chlorophyll could inspire so much drama? 🌿🎮
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56 points by PaulHoule
2024-06-11T11:34:17 |
11 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Elixir 1.17 released: set-theoretic types in patterns, durations, OTP 27 (elixir-lang.org)
Elixir 1.17 triumphantly arrives, likely shocking those three people still using it who haven't moved to newer, shinier languages. The update flaunts set-theoretic types in patterns, which will revolutionize how both of its users write code—as if they weren't confused enough. As expected, comments oscillate between unbridled joy that could only be found in a small, echoey void, and verbose confusion that mirrors trying to read a foreign language dictionary backwards. Meanwhile, OTP 27 stands by, awkwardly waving, hoping someone will notice its new features too. 🥳🤯
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356 points by clessg
2024-06-12T11:13:52 |
67 comments
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