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▲ MicroMac, a Macintosh for under £5 (axio.ms)
In a stunning display of technological regression, a blogger at axio.ms introduces the MicroMac, which promises the computing power of a 1984 Macintosh for the price of a London pint. Astoundingly, the tech enthusiasts and nostalgia trippers are tripping over each other in the comments, debating whether this is "revolutionary" or just plain useless. One luminary points out that you could also buy a calculator for under £5, but quickly gets downvoted by die-hard Mac purists who insist that nothing beats the classic grey interface for their high-tech paperweight needs. What a time to be alive, when you can relive your 40-year-old tech dreams on a shoestring budget. 👏👴💻
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273 points by als0
2024-06-16T20:02:47 |
37 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Maintaining large-scale AI capacity at Meta (fb.com)
**Maintaining large-scale AI capacity at Meta**
In an unforeseen display of self-awareness, Meta acknowledges that its colossal data centers—previously just elaborate space heaters—might actually need a little evolution to handle real AI work. Last year rocked their world as they realized computers do more than mine Bitcoin and host mediocre VR meet-ups. As the comment section erupts in uninformed chaos, enthusiasts debate whether using "AI" this often in a paragraph qualifies as technological innovation or just another buzzword bingo win. 🤖🔥
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46 points by samber
2024-06-16T22:18:19 |
21 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Bouba/kiki effect (wikipedia.org)
Title: The Incredibly Crucial Study of Kiki and Bouba: Humanity's Last Hope
As the world claws its way through minor issues like climate change and global pandemics, the brilliant minds of academia bring us the ‘bouba/kiki effect,’ a century-old party trick convincing you that "bouba" sounds soft and squishy while "kiki" is the sharp, poky sound of academia stabbing at relevance. Internet commentators, having exhausted all discussions on cat videos and political conspiracies, now proudly wield advanced degrees in psycholinguistics from the University of Wikipedia, zealously debating whether their coffee mug feels more ‘bouba’ or ‘kiki’ this morning. Armed with fMRI machines and an unshakeable self-assurance, researchers continue to probe the squishy depths of the human mind, demonstrating once again that if you say a word enough times, it begins to sound like grant money. 📚💰
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90 points by cscurmudgeon
2024-06-16T19:50:16 |
62 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Starlark Language (github.com/bazelbuild)
In an awe-inspiring display of magnanimity, the creators of Starlark at Bazelbuild declare their unyielding devotion to feedback, asserting with unwavering solemnity that *every* whimper from their user base is a sacred text. 📜 The peasants from the comment section, emboldened by this divine proclamation, unleash a tsunami of deep wisdom mostly about how they would definitely write the entire language better if only they weren’t busy arguing about tabs versus spaces. Meanwhile, actual progress orbits a distant star, probably named Execution.
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37 points by zerojames
2024-06-16T22:11:27 |
15 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Building SimCity: How to put the world in a machine (mitpress.mit.edu)
On MIT Press Direct, a hub of esoteric ponderings masquerading as books, an enlightening treatise on cramming the complexities of urban sprawl into a computer simulation emerges. In "Building SimCity: How to Put the World in a Machine," scholars undoubtedly reinvent the wheel, promising to solve urban planning woes through the power of code instead of, you know, actual urban planning. The comment section, a delightful circus of armchair city planners and nostalgic gamers, collides in a mashup of CAPS LOCK expertise and misty-eyed memories of bulldozing virtual neighborhoods. Each self-proclaimed expert insists that their SimCity 2000 strategy is the blueprint for our urban future, proving once again that reality is just too inconvenient when you've got a high score to beat.
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206 points by jarmitage
2024-06-16T16:55:31 |
85 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Why Google Takeout is sooo bad (cylke.com.pl)
Title: Google Takeout or Google Fakeout?
In an eye-opening exposé that will shock absolutely no one, cylke.com.pl serves us a lukewarm take on why Google Takeout is as reliable as a chocolate teapot. The author, powered by the bleeding-edge "IdeogramAI", reveals the groundbreaking news that Google's data export tool often doesn’t work—featuring a whimsical collage of "Failed" and "Retry" notifications that could be modern art. The comments section, a delightful cesspool of confusion, sees users in a philosophical debate over whether Google or their own life choices are to blame for their data dilemma. One brave soul suggests "have you tried turning it off and on again?" as the peak of Silicon Valley technical support.
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50 points by sanchez_0_lam
2024-06-16T21:12:03 |
31 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Quake 1 potential original font (cohost.org)
At cohost.org, the last sustainable refuge for what remains of the gaming historian elite, someone claims to have unearthed the "original font" from Quake 1, thus ensuring the salvation of countless pixel enthusiasts drowning in modernity's sea of high-res fonts. The commenters, armed with their Ph.D.s in Vintage Gaming Typography, trip over themselves in a frenzied ballet to assert their superiority by debating kerning errors and the moral ramifications of using TrueType over OpenType. It's an electrifying display of niche expertise and social one-upmanship, where everyone is eager to prove they can miss the point more thoroughly than their peers. 🎓💬🔍
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88 points by ta123456789
2024-06-16T19:30:30 |
14 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Show QN: SQLite Database Explorer (github.com/frectonz)
In today's episode of Hackers Throw Code at the Wall, an optimistic GitHub user attempts to reinvent the wheel with SQLite Database Explorer, a groundbreaking GitHub repo guaranteed to solve problems no one knew they had. The creators, bathing in the relentless optimism of open source, pledge allegiance to reading *every* snippet of feedback—yes, even from the guy whose greatest technical challenge is finding the power button on his router. The comment section, a vibrant wasteryard of "+1s" and off-topic rants, miraculously converges on the consensus that what the world truly needs is yet another tool for browsing data. Welcome to GitHub, where the code is made up and the issues don’t matter. 🎉
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48 points by khanmitdoit
2024-06-16T21:39:18 |
24 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ First look at the upcoming Starlink Mini (starlinkhardware.com)
In an unparalleled display of technological heroism, Starlinkhardware.com unveils the new "Starlink Mini," promising to squeeze slightly more internet into a vessel roughly the size of a leftover meatloaf. True to form, the comment section quickly transforms into a high-octane debate club, where self-proclaimed "experts" with usernames like "GalacticOverlord42" and "WiFiWhisperer007" engage in the intellectual equivalent of a food fight. They dissect minute bandwidth improvements and speculate wildly about satellite conspiracy theories, ensuring the world that they, too, can barely grasp the basics of orbital mechanics. "Revolutionary" screams one, ironically on a 2 Mbps connection, underscoring the human tragedy of having infinite knowledge at your fingertips and using it to argue on the internet.
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85 points by tosh
2024-06-16T19:39:27 |
46 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Tech nostalgia enthusiasts have made a PiDP-10, a replica of the PDP-10 (theguardian.com)
In a world where innovation is just too hard, a brave group of archaic-tech fans has lovingly birthed the PiDP-10—an adorable little paperweight that mimics the PDP-10, a computer from when telephones were attached to the wall. In a mix of misplaced nostalgia and stunning time-wasting, these enthusiasts have ensured that yet another generation can experience the joy of computing without color monitors or a graphical interface. Commenters, echoing from their basement lairs, are oscillating between "profound breakthrough" and "doom for modern computing", while furiously mistyping their praise on keyboards that belong in a museum. This dazzling effort proves nothing is too irrelevant for a comeback.
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14 points by zdw
2024-06-16T21:29:03 |
7 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Sheaf Theory Through Examples (direct.mit.edu)
In a daring attempt to make Sheaf Theory as exciting as watching paint dry, direct.mit.edu publishes "Sheaf Theory Through Examples," ensuring both the article and its examples are equally incomprehensible. Readers, diving headfirst into the comments section, compete in an intellectual death match to prove who can pretend to understand the material the best. The ensuing discussion quickly devolves into a grotesque ballet of one-upmanship, where every comment is more pretentiously convoluted than the last. This remarkable exercise in academic masochism has at least made sheaves more mysterious than when they started. 📚🤯
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17 points by soist
2024-06-16T21:23:12 |
0 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Quantum entangled photons react to Earth's spin (phys.org)
In an earth-shattering display of missing the point, armchair physicists on phys.org dive headfirst into a pool of quantum confusion over a new study revealing that quantum entangled photons react to Earth's spin. Commenters, armed with half-watched YouTube videos and a loose grasp of high school physics, confidently explain quantum mechanics like they're auditioning for the lead role in "The Emperor's New Clothes: Quantum Edition." The debate spirals outward, covering essential topics such as flat Earth, time travel, and whether cats can see ghosts—all harvested from the rich fields of pure speculation and seasoned with a hearty dose of Dunning-Kruger. 🌍🌀👻
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41 points by wglb
2024-06-16T01:25:07 |
3 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ FastLanes Compression Layout: Decoding >100B integers/sec with scalar code [pdf] (cwi.nl)
At CWI.nl, computational juggernauts claim they've shattered the glass ceiling of integer compression, touching the heavens with over 100 billion integers per second using mere mortal code. Behold, the FastLanes Compression Layout, a feat surely poised to revolutionize our downloads of cat videos and pirated textbooks. Meanwhile, the commentators, in an ostentatious display of one-upmanship, vie to prove who can misunderstand the technology the most profoundly. It’s a wild party of self-congratulation and speculative nonsense, where everyone's an armchair physicist after two paragraphs of a PDF and some aggressive Googling. 🚀🤓
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7 points by jandrewrogers
2024-06-16T14:22:01 |
0 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Packaging Swift Apps for Alpine Linux (mko.re)
This week on mko.re, an enthusiastic basement dweller decides the world desperately needs Swift applications on Alpine Linux, because obviously what's life without the cerebral challenge of cross-compiling to an OS used by dozens? The first paragraph breaks ground with "Contents," apparently mistaking itself for the table of a rather bland book. Meanwhile, in the comments, overly eager tech bros trip over each other to share their unasked-for scripts, while simultaneously missing the entire point of the tutorial. Who knew package management could be an extreme sport? 🏂🤦♂️
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82 points by todsacerdoti
2024-06-16T15:59:47 |
20 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Roger Linn reviews MPC Live 2 (youtube.com)
In yet another pivotal moment for humanity, Roger Linn, a man who apparently still exists, fumbles with a shiny gadget that makes boom-boom noises. Behold, the MPC Live 2, a magnificent evolution in the button-mashing industry, unleashed in a video riveting enough to cure insomnia. But wait—there's more! The comments section, a cesspool of audiophiles and gear junkies, explodes with enough technical jargon and nostalgia to confuse even the most earnest of YouTube moderators. 🎚️🙄 Will Roger's finger-drumming bring about world peace? Stay tuned, or, you know, don't.
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15 points by brudgers
2024-06-16T22:11:11 |
2 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ NumPy 2.0 (numpy.org)
In a breathtaking display of innovation, the NumPy team has finally released NumPy 2.0, now with more arrays than you can possibly imagine needing because apparently, the previous version was just a warm-up. The tech world trembles as Python enthusiasts find new ways to increment integers and mathematical operations magically perform faster, flouting the laws of computer science. The comment section is ablaze with veteran programmers and bright-eyed bootcamp grads alike, each battling fiercely over who can misinterpret the documentation most creatively. "But does it use blockchain?" queries one lost soul, clearly ahead of his time in missing the point. 🚀🤦♔
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132 points by scoresmoke
2024-06-16T19:32:23 |
24 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Sales happen when buyers fear missing out (tidyfirst.substack.com)
In an earth-shattering revelation on tidyfirst.substack.com, a visionary luminary elegantly repackages age-old market wisdom: *people buy stuff when they think it's running out.* The comment section, a veritable conclave of future Nobel laureates, engages in a heated scholarly debate about whether this tactic also works on their cats. One particularly astute observer notes that his cat, indeed, always rushes to eat when the bowl is almost empty, thereby proving the universal application of scarcity in modern economics. None appear to realize they're simply rehashing Psychology 101 over artisanal keyboards. 🙄
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166 points by etrvic
2024-06-15T06:10:31 |
82 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ To see is to forget the name of the thing one sees (geopolicraticus.wordpress.com)
Our fearless keyboard tactician, comfortably ensconced in the Pacific Northwest, graciously descends from the rain-soaked evergreens to bestow upon us the arcane secrets of grand strategy and geopolitics. Because, clearly, the best way to understand global power dynamics is from a region better known for artisanal coffee and grunge music than for its international diplomatic clout. Meanwhile, the comment section morphs into a raucous battlefield where armchair generals wielding Wikipedia articles clash over who can sound the most convincingly profound while fundamentally misunderstanding the article. Strap in for a symphony of pseudo-intellectual one-upmanship that truly goes nowhere faster than a Starbucks drive-thru.
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20 points by yamrzou
2024-06-16T22:09:50 |
17 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Why Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs Matters (eecs.berkeley.edu)
**Why Understanding Old Textbooks Is a Revolutionary Act (Apparently)**
The tech world is abuzz with another deep dive into why "Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs" is the alpha and omega of programming wisdom. It seems like every decade needs its batch of would-be intellectuals to rediscover SICP, heralding it as some long-lost relic capable of wisdom far beyond teaching freshmen how to code. Commentators trip over themselves in online forums vying to prove who truly understands the majestic power of abstraction and functions as data—or who can just sound the most pretentious. Maybe next we'll find out that SICP is actually the key to solving climate change too! 🙄
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93 points by AlexeyBrin
2024-06-16T18:02:42 |
65 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Simple sabotage for software (2023) (erikbern.com)
In a shocking twist, Silicon Valley discovers a WWII-era CIA handbook on sabotage and decides it's their new agile manifesto. Developer productivity is already at an all-time low, but why not make it official with some bureaucratic interference tips from the 1940s? Commenters, displaying their usual historical acumen, mix up World War 2 with a Warcraft DLC and suggest introducing JIRA as the ultimate sabotage tool. 😂 One innovative soul even proposes replacing coffee with decaf as a means of collapsing civilization.
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217 points by adammiribyan
2024-06-16T09:39:52 |
69 comments
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