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▲ Nobody Knows What's Going On (raptitude.com)
In a stunning display of navel-gazing masquerading as profundity, a blogger at raptitude.com discovers that surprise, most people don't have a concrete plan and are mostly winging it. This bombshell revelation sends shockwaves through the comment section, where dozens of existential enthusiasts and armchair philosophers come together to aggressively agree with each other. Each comment is a masterclass in stating the obvious, but with more words and less clarity. It’s self-help, but without the help. 🤯
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38 points by herbertl
2024-06-20T00:06:28 |
12 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Unique3D: Image-to-3D Generation from a Single Image in 30 seconds (github.com/aiuniai)
In an unprecedented display of technological and online literacy, GitHub, the eternal sanctuary for code hopefuls, serves up Unique3D: a product that miraculously pulls a full-blown 3D model from the digital aether of a single 2D image in less time than it takes to microwave popcorn. The maintainers reassure everyone that they "read every piece of feedback and take your input very seriously," a common mantra among tech aficionados to promote the illusion of user importance. Excited commenters, with their usual flair for demonstrating profound ignorance, regale us with tales of how this technological marvel will soon render professional 3D modelers obsolete, disrupt industries, and probably cure cancer. Meanwhile, skeptics raise eyebrows and popcorn bags, preparing for the inevitable GitHub issue titled "Help, my cat turned into a Picasso."
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55 points by jinqueeny
2024-06-19T21:20:03 |
13 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ 1/25-scale Cray C90 wristwatch (chrisfenton.com)
In a thrilling display of misallocated genius, a blogger unveils a wristwatch modeled after the Cray C90 supercomputer, because if there's one thing everyone needs, it's a reminder of obsolete technology physically attached to them at all times. The horde of commenters, frothing at the mouth with nostalgic glee and barely-suppressed envy, trip over themselves to praise the unnecessary complexity and offer "helpful" suggestions that are politely ignored. Who knew the peak of wrist-accessory innovation lay in the clunky designs of the 90s? See your tax dollars at leisure, folks. 🕒💻
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245 points by akkartik
2024-06-19T16:40:15 |
36 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ EasyOS: An Experimental Linux Distribution (easyos.org)
In a world desperate for yet another Linux distribution, EasyOS boldly disregards the saturated market by throwing its hat into the ring. On easyos.org, a thrilling expose reveals that EasyOS is not just a distro but an "experimental" escapade likely to resolve none of your problems. The comment section is ablaze with the usual suspects: One crowd vehemently defending their ancient, barely-updated favorites, while the other is poised to cannonball into this new deep end because "it must be innovative if I don’t understand it." Join the revolution—or don’t—it's not like it changes anything.
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109 points by skilled
2024-06-19T18:59:40 |
53 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ The the the the induction of jamais vu: word alienation and semantic satiation (tandfonline.com)
In yet another breathtaking display of academic jargon jugglery, an article from Tandfonline.com dares to explore the mind-bending phenomenon of jamais vu, because evidently, deja vu is too mainstream now. The author, armed to the teeth with terms like "semantic satiation" and "word alienation," takes readers on a thrilling rollercoaster through the human psyche, where words stop meaning anything—ironically much like the article itself. The comments section blossoms into a festival of pseudo-intellectuals, each determined to outdo the others by casually name-dropping Kant and Derrida, while misinterpreting the paper entirely. Who knew the common experience of "brain farts" could be so linguistically profound🤯?
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46 points by ericciarla
2024-06-19T20:39:40 |
31 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ What happens to our breath when we type, tap, scroll (npr.org)
In the latest breathtaking installment of journalism, NPR explores the critical question of where our breath goes while we engage in the arduous tasks of typing, tapping, and scrolling. Shockingly, it turns out we continue to breathe, even when interacting with digital devices! Commenters, in a stunning display of missing the point, compare their respiratory rates to those of hibernating bears and question the carbon footprint of breathing. It's investigative reporting at its finest, truly an essential read for anyone with too much time on their hands. 🙄💨
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123 points by nequo
2024-06-17T23:23:09 |
59 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ The demise of the mildly dynamic website (2022) (devever.net)
In an explosive revelation that shocks absolutely no one, another tech prophet decrees the "demise of the mildly dynamic website." As *devservers* worldwide crash under the profound weight of this regurgitated epiphany, the comment section transforms into a battlefield where the brave warriors of Web 2.0 heroically defend the honor of their soon-to-be-obsolete tech stacks. With every emoji-laden sneer and caps-locked cry of doom, spectators can only marvel at the self-importance on display. 🎭🍿
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183 points by thunderbong
2024-06-19T16:17:01 |
117 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Safe Superintelligence Inc. (ssi.inc)
Silicon Valley eccentrics have stumbled onto their latest world-shaking revelatory idea: a company called 'Safe Superintelligence Inc.' (ssi.inc). They predict, with the well-known accuracy of tech forecasts, that we're just a hop, skip, and an unregulated AI away from taming a superintelligence. Meanwhile, in the comment section, a masterpiece theater of existential dread, qualified internet warriors battle fiercely with CAPS LOCK on, solving ethical AI dilemmas one meme at a time. 🤖💤💥 If history has taught us anything, it’s that precedent for humans controlling superhuman forces is an unblemished record of hugs and happiness.
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839 points by nick_pou
2024-06-19T17:06:16 |
710 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Brain circuit scores identify clinically distinct biotypes in depression/anxiety (nature.com)
Title: **Brains, Browsers, and Biotype Babble**
At nature.com, the future of neuroscience has apparently taken a back seat to browser wars, with a gentle reminder that Internet Explorer is as dead as your hopes and dreams if you still use it. But don’t worry, the real star here is the groundbreaking discovery that depression and anxiety can be split into "clinically distinct" flavors using "brain circuit scores." This revelation is sure to redefine office banter at Psych wards worldwide. Comment sections are aflame with armchair neurologists pitching their unsolicited and shockingly accurate self-diagnoses, eagerly supplemented by emoji-laden tales of browser incompatibility. 🧠💔🔧
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95 points by MBCook
2024-06-18T03:49:27 |
37 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Hypermedia Systems (hypermedia.systems)
In this week's episode of "Obscure Tech Terms That Even Your IT Guy Pretends to Understand," we dive headfirst into the blisteringly irrelevant world of Hypermedia Systems. Watch as Carson Gross, Adam Stepinski, and Deniz Akşimşek engage in a tech jargon throwdown, attempting to outdo each other in a battle of who can sound the most like a rejected *Black Mirror* script. The comment section, a veritable who's who of people with too much time, is ablaze with misinformed debates and comparisons of technologies most of them can't even use. Brace yourself for a ride on the hype train, driven by coders and theorists, none of whom can fix your printer.
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13 points by dsego
2024-06-19T22:39:41 |
0 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ X debut 40 years ago (1984) (talisman.org)
In an unimaginable twist that absolutely no one saw coming, an ancient relic from 198ivation once again crawled into the daylight to haunt the modern internet with its presence. Talisman.org, in a shocking display of web mastery, posts a pixelated "digital cake" to celebrate the 40-year slog since the debut of "X," a technological marvel that undoubtedly paved the way for crucial advancements like crashing graphical interfaces and eye-strain headaches. Commenters, in a nostalgic feeding frenzy, trip over themselves to one-up each other with tales of yesteryear's coding woes and sepia-toned "back in my day" anecdotes, proving once and for all that memory is indeed selectively reflective. Meanwhile, younger tech enthusiasts are Googling "What is X Window System?" ensuring the cycle of irrelevance continues unbroken.
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195 points by guerby
2024-06-19T20:09:38 |
58 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ The return of pneumatic tubes (technologyreview.com)
The brains at *Technology Review* have just remembered pneumatic tubes exist, heralding their "return" with the breathless excitement of a child rediscovering a broken toy. These relics, still chugging away in hospitals, are apparently about to change the world—any day now. 🌎🚀 Reactivated keyboard warriors in the comments are split into camps: those who see the tubes as the salvation of modern infrastructure and true believers in teleportation. Spoiler: neither will be delivering your pizza anytime soon.
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76 points by pseudolus
2024-06-19T16:30:14 |
84 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ F (2006) (nsl.com)
Title: F (2006) (nsl.com)
A long-lost tribe in the darkest recesses of programming academia joyously unveils yet another programming language, F, which promises to save us all from the unbearable simplicity of readable code. As if plucked from the aftermath of a keyboard-smashing hangover at a Lisp convention, F marries the obscurity of False with the "user-friendliness" of atomic theory, sprinkling in a dash of theoretical physics for that extra layer of elitism. Not to be overshadowed, the NSA recruits of the comment section trip over themselves to misinterpret features as bugs in their rush to appear smarter than the F documentation. It seems everyone is excited to write code that absolutely, positively no one else can maintain. 🎉📜💥
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130 points by hwayne
2024-06-19T17:14:13 |
13 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Vannevar Bush Engineered the 20th Century (ieee.org)
In a shock that will rattle none, ieee.org has just discovered that Vannear Bush did, indeed, do some engineering in the 20th century. According to the gospel of armchair historians flooding the comment section, without Bush, we'd still be living in caves, scrawling on walls instead of keyboards. Critics, wearing the badge of "well-actually" scholars, nitpick on achievements ranging from the Manhattan Project to the origins of the Web, armed with Google search results and a smug sense of superiority. Once again, the internet proves fertile ground for experts who've mastered the art of missing the forest for arguing about a single tree in a badly Photoshopped image. 🌐👨💻
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92 points by cyberlimerence
2024-06-18T13:35:58 |
17 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Agilent 2000a / 3000a Oscilloscope NAND Recovery (salvagedcircuitry.com)
In a shocking display of internet archaeology, a brave soul ventures into the electronic abyss to rescue an Agilent oscilloscope, apparently because throwing money at broken gadgets on eBay qualifies as a hobby now. The oscilloscope, a victim of the infamous NAND corruption error—or maybe just a sad, broken power supply—barely escapes the trash heap for a thrilling $220. Cue an avalanche of comments from GarageBand engineers and solder-sniffing hobbyists decoding tech jargon, while collectively mourning the lack of free shipping. Who knew digital trash-to-treasure could inspire such *passion* and so many unclaimed degrees in electrical engineering? 🤓💸
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149 points by sharpshadow
2024-06-19T13:20:01 |
14 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Astronomers see a black hole awaken in real time (eso.org)
In a stunning display of what happens when you don't disable cookies, astronomers "in real time" (as if that speeds up an event millions of light years away) have caught a black hole waking up—probably from all the internet tracking. Cue legions of eso.org commenters transitioning from armchair experts on astrophysics to privacy policy pundits. Each proudly displaying their half-baked knowledge on cosmic phenomena and EU data regulations. All this, only somewhat eclipsed by the occasional joke about black holes being better at data privacy than most tech companies. 🌌🍪💤
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195 points by croes
2024-06-19T10:57:22 |
81 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Show QN: Modular Pi Cam (github.com/jdc-cunningham)
In an unsurprising turn of innovation, Hacker News finds itself mesmerized by yet another Raspberry Pi project, this time a *Modular Pi Cam*. Because if there's anything we needed more of, it’s definitely more camera projects overlaid with a thick veneer of self-congratulation. The creator emphatically assures us that every piece of feedback is sacred, although judging by the lack of novelty, we might assume they're only reading comments from their echo chamber. The comment section, as expected, oscillates between unbridled enthusiasm and acute pedantry - engaging in in-depth debates about the revolutionary implications of adding one more USB port. 📷🔄
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47 points by jcun4128
2024-06-19T17:16:18 |
20 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ NodeSwift: Bridge Node.js and Swift (github.com/kabiroberai)
In a groundbreaking fusion of Apple's pretentious Swift and Google's spaghetti-code darling, Node.js, comes NodeSwift. A delighted horde of basement dwellers gathers on GitHub to proudly contribute to yet another repository that their mothers will never understand. Comments range from passive-aggressive code critiques to unironic declarations of "revolutionary." It's a mesmerizing, circle-jerk echo chamber where everyone takes their input *very seriously*.
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82 points by joshuawright11
2024-06-19T16:15:46 |
17 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Beyond velocity and acceleration: jerk, snap and higher derivatives (2016) (iop.org)
In a stunning display of pedantry that usually only emerges at physics conferences and Reddit arguments, the Institute of Physics introduces us to "Beyond velocity and acceleration: jerk, snap and higher derivatives." Because regular physics isn't confusing enough, we now dive into terms that sound more like dance moves or soda pop labels than serious scientific concepts. Commenters, mostly confused students and over-eager engineering nerds, leap into the fray, attempting to one-up each other's grasp of concepts that barely affect their everyday lives, except perhaps in their high-octane daydreams of becoming the next Newton. No box-ticking can save us from the realization that we're just not that smart. 📚💥🤓
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148 points by EndXA
2024-06-19T10:16:08 |
119 comments
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