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▲ The biggest CRT ever made: Sony's PVM-4300 (homeip.net)
In a nostalgic frenzy that surprises absolutely no one, homeip.net has unleashed an article about the Sony PVM-4300, heralding it as the "biggest CRT ever made." This monumental revelation has sent shockwaves through dozens of basement dwellers who thought their 32” was the crown jewel of cathode-ray technology. Commenters, in a display of one-upmanship that would make even Reddit blush, are competing to showcase who can be more pedantic about scan lines, refresh rates, and other esoteric specs that absolutely no one in regular society cares about. Meanwhile, the rest of us on our thin, space-saving devices, wonder if we too should feign excitement over this behemoth from the techno Stone Age. 📺👓
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97 points by rbanffy
2024-06-21T22:22:07 |
53 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ HH70, the first high-temperature superconducting Tokamak achieves first plasma (energysingularity.cn)
On the thrilling digital pages of energysingularity.cn, humanity has stumbled across "HH70," the latest oversized kitchen appliance seemingly capable of achieving high-temperature superconductivity without instantly morphing into a disastrous YouTube DIY fail video. Commenters, armed to the teeth with weekend quantum physics degrees from Google University, debate the finer points of thermonuclear fusion with the ferocity of toddlers fighting over the last cookie. The elation spreads like an unchecked rumor that this metallic doughnut might one day power their energy-guzzling gaming PCs sustainably, halting their epic quests only long enough to assure each other that they, indeed, understood the article completely. In reality, no one’s electricity bill is getting cheaper yet, but dreams, like unchecked tokamak plasma, are free to run wild.
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170 points by zer0tonin
2024-06-22T20:01:41 |
150 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ After my dad died, I ran and sold his company (2018) (anandsanwal.me)
In an enthralling display of humblebrag masked as a hardship narrative, a plucky hero single-handedly rescues and then offloads Daddy's company post-mortem. The comment section predictably transforms into a swamp of armchair CEOs and would-be entrepreneurs, each more eager than the last to share unsolicited advice sprinkled with thinly veiled envy. Watch in fascination as the internet collectively solves none of this person's problems while simultaneously competing for the "Most Eloquent Condolence" award. Truly, the internet remains undefeated in its capacity to make everything about itself.
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562 points by ziptron
2024-06-22T12:49:18 |
85 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Delving into ChatGPT usage in academic writing through excess vocabulary (arxiv.org)
The hallowed digital halls of arxiv.org grace us yet again with a riveting expedition titled "Delving into ChatGPT usage in academic writing through excess vocabulary." Scholars at Basement Universities Worldwide unite, deploying their thesauri like flares into the night, desperate to prove that overly complicated language is definitely the way to make teenagers read anything. Meanwhile, in the comment section, armchair linguists perform mental gymnastics to decide whether using ChatGPT in essays is the dawn of enlightenment or just another way to avoid learning anything at all. Spoiler: it's definitely both. 🎓💬
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53 points by zdw
2024-06-22T23:18:29 |
21 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ The Pre-Scheme Restoration (prescheme.org)
On prescheme.org, the Thinkers of Yesterday are desperately attempting to resuscitate the ghost of Scheme programming, believing that parentheses are the magical pixie dust needed to solve the modern software crisis. In their blog post, "The Pre-Scheme Restoration," they painstakingly argue that returning to simpler times - say, 1978 - will miraculously make programming great again. Comments below the article range from nostalgic sobbing over lost punch cards to verbose wars about which ancient programming language can best be used to inefficiently heat your home in winter. Clearly, progress is overrated, and the future is a well-formatted stack of parentheses. 🤓
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88 points by nickmain
2024-06-20T11:40:54 |
36 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Testing AMD's Bergamo: Zen 4c (chipsandcheese.com)
In a stunning display of the digital equivalent of watching paint dry, chipsandcheese.com treats us to a rivetingly mundane breakdown of AMD's Bergamo powered by the Zen 4c architecture. The deep-dive details provided are sure to captivate all seven of the site's readers, each of whom is apparently running a data center from their mom's basement. Despite the commenter's collective tech expertise, which might barely qualify them to reboot a router, they engage in impassioned debates about thermal dynamics and power efficiency, armed with Google-searched data and an arsenal of acronyms. Will AMD's new chipset change the world, or just the temperature of their gaming rigs? Stay tuned - or, you know, don't.
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86 points by latchkey
2024-06-22T17:36:39 |
24 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Daily Automated Testing for Milk-V Duo S RISC-V SBC (IKEA Tretakt, Apache NuttX) (codeberg.page)
Title: Another Day, Another Dubious Tech Breakthrough
In an attempt to revolutionize the absolutely *crucial* field of milk verification, a brave soul has decided the world desperately needs the Milk-V Duo S RISC-V SBC from IKEA Tretakt, now with enhanced Apache NuttX support. The groundbreaking article, riddled with technical jargon that could sedate a hyperactive squirrel, explains the daily automated testing rituals that promise to ensure your milk remains as compliant as a well-disciplined intern. Comments beneath the article range from uninformed techno-babble to wild conspiracy theories about Big Dairy sabotaging their Arduino setups. Clearly, the future of milk technology is in safe hands. 🥛💻
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17 points by lupyuen
2024-06-22T22:21:45 |
2 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Show QN: Simple script to cripple personalized targeting from Facebook (gist.github.com)
This week on Hacker News, another valiant keyboard warrior bestows upon the masses a "revolutionary" script that supposedly cripples Facebook’s personalized targeting—because clearly, a simple script is all it takes to overthrow a multi-billion dollar corporation’s core business model. Blessed be the GitHub gist that liberates us from Mark Zuckerberg’s clutches! Commenters toggle between hailing the script as the digital Second Coming and debating the ethics of ad blocking, while occasionally questioning their own existence in a universe where JavaScript is considered a weapon of mass destruction. For a brief, shining moment, everyone feels like a basement-dwelling Bond villain. Thank goodness these folks are around to save civilization with open-source snippets. 🙄
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141 points by GeoHubToday
2024-06-22T21:38:18 |
78 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Reference Counting with Linear Types (github.com/alt-romes)
In an unsurprising burst of hubris, a GitHub repository decides to reinvent memory management with "Reference Counting using Linear Types," because clearly, the last fifty years of computer science just needed *one more* GitHub repo to crack the code. The author eagerly assures us that every piece of feedback is sacred, in a touching nod to a deliberative democracy that absolutely exists on the Internet. The commenters, engorged with the thrill of hypothetical optimizations, dive into a feeding frenzy of edge cases, with the classic undercurrent of "this could be rewritten in Rust." Meanwhile, everyone else waits patiently for the programming messiah GitHub Repo #563892 to finally make computers do the dishes. 🙄
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27 points by nequo
2024-06-21T00:19:23 |
4 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ A website where you write a message to the next visitor (dearnextvisitor.com)
In a digital world overflowing with tailored ads and algorithmically driven content, the internet unveils its latest innovation: dearnextvisitor.com, a website where the message you receive is supposedly "just for you". Because what the world truly lacked was yet another way to receive unsolicited advice from strangers pretending to be deep. The comment section, predictably, bursts with gratitude from users thrilled to swap echo chamber tweets for this new, profound form of digital fortune cookie. Cheers to the future of personalized anonymity, ensuring every internet user can feel like the center of a highly unimportant universe. 🎉
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5 points by thunderbong
2024-06-23T00:04:21 |
0 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ HybridNeRF: Efficient Neural Rendering (haithemturki.com)
In the latest thrilling installment of "Neural Nets Meet Graphic Design," haithemturki.com unleashes HybridNeRF, a groundbreaking way to suck every last GPU cycle out of our already overburdened computer systems. HybridNeRF promises an "efficient" solution to neural rendering, assuring us that we only need a bit more free time and computing power than a small European country to achieve mildly impressive results. The eager commenters, a delightful mix of confused students and overenthusiastic tech bros, barely conceal their lack of understanding while zealously applauding the complex jargon. Can't wait to render my next PowerPoint presentation with it! 🚀🖥️😂
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135 points by tzmlab
2024-06-22T14:21:21 |
39 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Show QN: Online OPML editor to manage subscription lists (github.com/imdj)
A valiant keyboard warrior unveils an Online OPML Editor to the sea of basement-dwelling HN commenters, because obviously, what the world lacks is yet another tool to "manage subscription lists". 🙄 The creator assures us that "every piece of feedback is taken very seriously", which is definitely not just something you say to placate the hoards of pedantic nitpickers eager to point out that you used tabs instead of spaces. The commenters fall over themselves to offer "valuable" insights like suggesting completely unnecessary features and debating vehemently over the font choice, reaffirming their position in the tech ecosystem as essential keyboard critics.
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14 points by imadj
2024-06-21T13:13:39 |
0 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Babylon's Mystery Goddess (historytoday.com)
In a staggering display of archaeological clickbait, HistoryToday introduces us to yet another "mystery goddess" from Babylon, because apparently, we haven't had enough of those. As usual, the readers bubble over with exclamation, tripping over each other in the comments to flaunt their half-baked knowledge of Mesopotamian deities gleaned from Wikipedia and last week's TV specials on aliens. Some maverick, decked out in emoji flair, suggests this goddess is directly responsible for ancient Wi-Fi waves, and hey, why not? Meanwhile, the rest of the comment section devolves into a pseudo-intellectual mudslinging fest about whether Hammurabi's code was just early DRM. Who knew ancient history could be so *innovative*?
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31 points by diodorus
2024-06-21T17:01:56 |
10 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Scientists unlock secrets of how the third form of life makes energy (phys.org)
In an earth-shattering revelation that will undoubtedly cure your existential dread, scientists have announced that they’ve cracked the code on how the third form of life — which you definitely knew existed — generates energy. Cue the obligatory parade of overzealous commenters, each uniquely unqualified, hurriedly weighing in with their armchair expertise on microbiology and existential philosophy. Watch in awe as they artfully dodge the nuances of scientific research to fight over which sci-fi movie predicted this first. Truly, a landmark day for science and, more importantly, for internet commentaries that veer off into the wilderness of irrelevance. 🥳
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50 points by wglb
2024-06-17T18:43:43 |
2 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Show QN: I made tool that let's you see everything about any website (web-check.xyz)
A fresh hacker project promises to revolutionize our day by letting us peer into the *dark abyss* of website analytics with "web-check.xyz." Armed with the *earth-shattering power* to output mostly erroneous HTML errors, everyone is thrilled. In the comments, HN users are falling over each after in their rush to praise the tool's revolutionary use of grey text on a slightly darker grey background. One prophetic user suggests this could be the *next Google,* triggering a seventeen-reply thread involving a heated debate on why all websites don't just run on blockchain. 🙄
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180 points by lissy93
2024-06-22T10:43:47 |
31 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Aphantasia: I can not picture things in my mind (theguardian.com)
In a groundbreaking piece of journalism only *The Guardian* can deliver, we learn that some people can't conjure mental images—a condition they're calling aphantasia, which sounds more like an obscure Greek island than a neurological quirk. The comment section, a delightful circus of armchair psychologists and self-diagnosed experts, quickly devolves into a competition to see who can claim the most unique brain defect. 🧠💤 Who needs imagination when you have the internet to tell you how your mind is supposed to work?
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46 points by franze
2024-06-22T10:03:10 |
90 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Andrew S. Tanenbaum Receives ACM Software System Award (vu.nl)
Title: Andrew S. Tanenbaum and His Magical Tour of the Operating Systems
In a heartwarming display of nostalgia, Andrew S. Tanenbaum has been handed the ACM Software System Award for creating a toy UNIX system called MINIX in 1987, which everyone had almost forgotten. Packaged alongside a charming textbook, MINIX dazzled dozens with its tiny microkernel and was possibly the training wheels for your average software bro. Our techno-audience brims with gratitude on Hacker News, because no room full of developers is complete without rekindling the sparks of an OS that most used for a hot minute during college. Comment sections erupt with hot takes on how these 12,000 lines of code are evidently the unsung heroes behind every major tech innovation, while subtly ignoring their daily submission to commercial OS overlords. 🤓
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240 points by JacobAldridge
2024-06-22T14:12:02 |
46 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Pi Gazing is a project to build meteor cameras using Raspberry Pi (dcford.org.uk)
In an unprecedented display of astrological fervor combined with crippling budget constraints, "Pi Gazing" aims to transform every suburban garage into a makeshift NASA outpost, using nothing more than Rasperry Pis. The Internet's contingent of armchair rocket scientists, previously only qualified to comment on YouTube videos, have flooded forums with their in-depth analyses of how a $35 computer could somehow accelerate our journey to the stars. According to these experts, real science now means strapping a cam to a piece of fruit-themed tech and pointing it vaguely skyward. Because who needs billion-dollar observatories when you've got a budget board and boundless optimism?
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47 points by b_emery
2024-06-22T16:44:44 |
15 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ AWS Lambda Web Adapter (github.com/awslabs)
In this week's episode of "Overengineered Solutions to Non-Problems," AWS Labs proudly uncorks another jargon-stuffed bottle of buzzword wine. The "AWS Lambda Web Adapter" is here to save developers the horror of writing actual code by wrapping even more YAML around your coffee-deprived morning. The GitHub README ominously promises that they "read every piece of feedback," which is tech for "we skimmed your GitHub issues during happy hour." In the comments, confused mortals exchange YAML configurations like Pokémon cards, hoping to summon the mythical creature that is Operational Stability. 🐉💻
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97 points by cebert
2024-06-22T18:01:45 |
80 comments
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