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▲ A modern 8 bit design, built using 1950s thermionic valves (valve.computer)
On valve.computer, a visionary (or clinically insane) hobbyist decides to push the boundaries of redundancy by engineering an 8-bit computer using technology that even museums consider ancient. Watch in bewildered amusement as chunks of glass and metal, better suited as doorstops, are soldered together to form a computing “marvel” that might just rival a 1980s calculator in speed and efficiency. Commenters are tripping over themselves in nostalgic euphoria, debating whether this abomination should be displayed in an art gallery or used as a quirky heating system. Join the retro-tech fiesta and witness the pinnacle of technological irony - just make sure you don’t blink, or you might miss the half-second it actually functions! 🎉👴💻
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230 points by cenazoic
2024-06-27T19:18:10 |
34 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Launch QN: Hatchet (YC W24) – Open-source task queue, now with a cloud version
Today in *innovation*, a brave Y Combinator outfit has squirted into the world Hatchet – an open-source task queue that has decided it can't quite cut it without leeching off the cloud. Not satisfied with merely rehashing stale software traditions, this freshly hatched startup promises to revolutionize how your background tasks disappoint you. As usual, Hacker News commenters are tripping over themselves to either herald this as the second coming of tech Jesus or denounce it as an affront to their artisanal, hand-crafted task queues. Expect a flurry of "inspired" GitHub forks before everyone remembers they actually have work to do. 🎉🔨
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165 points by abelanger
2024-06-27T14:35:34 |
73 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Show QN: Dorkly – Open source feature flags (github.com/dorklyorg)
In today's episode of Hackernews theater, the community collectively drops their half-eaten sandwiches to celebrate Dorkly—another groundbreaking open-source project charmingly named after what you become when you spend too much time implementing feature flags instead of attending social events. "We read every piece of feedback," claims the project's GitHub page, likely summoning images of a lone developer nodding solemnly at a monitor. Commenters leap into action, tripping over themselves to suggest largely unnecessary improvements, while one brave soul questions whether feature flags are just glorified if-statements, inadvertently sparking an existential crisis that will unfold over 263 comments, none of which will be read by anyone sane. 🤓🚩
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118 points by drichelson
2024-06-26T05:28:09 |
45 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Spudguns: Potato Cannon Guide (spudguns.org)
Title: Spudguns: Potato Cannon Guide
The rocket scientists of the backyard, bravely armed with their starchy projectiles and web designs from 1998, have triumphed. The noble coder has finally vanquished the nested tables of legend using the mighty Dreamweaver, escalating the spudgun community into last decade’s technology. Viewer debates reach new intellectual lows, as commenters squabble over the aerodynamics of Russet vs. Yukon potatoes. Surely, the Pulitzer awaits. 🥔💥
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120 points by cenazoic
2024-06-26T11:59:13 |
92 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Remembering Larry Finger, who made Linux wireless work (arstechnica.com)
In today's episode of "saints of the server room," arstechnica.com parades the unsung hero of Linux wireless, Larry Finger. Enthusiasts take a break from their relentless critique of anything mainstream to shed a virtual tear and hammer out tributes on their ergonomically questionable keyboards. Comment sections are aflame—not with the usual vitriol but with pressing inquiries like whether Larry preferred Vim or Emacs, and how many WiFi signals one must bless to become a Linux wireless saint. Surely, your Raspberry Pi owes him a drink. 🍻
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384 points by bookofjoe
2024-06-27T17:09:37 |
46 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ 200 people charged in $2.7B health care fraud crackdown (apnews.com)
In an *unprecedented* display of efficiency, the U.S. justice system announces the indictment of 200 exceptionally entrepreneurial individuals in a quaint $2.7 billion health care fraud scheme. 🤑 Loyal commenters, in a stunning showcase of expertise, argue tirelessly about whether this is the fault of capitalism, socialism, or insufficiently medicated bureaucrats, entirely missing the nuanced art of systemic exploitation. Others contribute to the fight against corruption by bravely suggesting their preferred candidates for 2024, because clearly, what this healthcare scam needed was more politics. 🙄
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224 points by apsec112
2024-06-27T21:09:54 |
115 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Lessons I Wish I Had Been Taught (1996) [pdf] (ams.org)
Another day, another vintage complainer emerges from the woodwork on Hacker News. Today, some relic from 199 your favorite comments sprout up like mushrooms after rain. We have the regulars bemoaning the death of the golden age of education, the armchair psychologists diagnosing every teacher from 1996, and of course, the self-taught geniuses declaring they learned more from YouTube than any structured schooling. Is it nostalgic education hour or are we just old and cranky now? Let the echo chamber ring!
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247 points by zerojames
2024-06-27T10:06:18 |
79 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ ID verification service for TikTok, Uber, X exposed driver licenses (404media.co)
Title: **Another Day, Another Data Dumpster Fire**
In an era of technological wonder, a supposedly high-tech ID verification juggernaut handling sensitive data for TikTok, Uber, and X (formerly known as Twitter until they ran out of vowels) decided to pull a classic blunder. The brilliant move? Exposing administrative credentials online, for a modest period of 🤔 over a year, because who cares about boring data security practices anyway? Meanwhile, in the comments section, security experts and armchair analysts go head-to-head in a no-holds-barred match of self-righteous indignation and recycled cybersecurity platitudes. Everybody is shocked—shocked—to find that storing sensitive information online could possibly go wrong.
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137 points by brw
2024-06-27T00:05:05 |
125 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Moaan InkPalm Plus is weird, cheap, small, and my kind of e-reader (sixcolors.com)
The ever-desperate tech world now heralds the Moaan InkPalm Plus, a device that boldly redefines what you *don't* need in an e-reader but will buy anyway because it's "quirky". Baby-sized with budget flair, this device promises to do almost everything a regular e-reader does, just slower and with less screen real estate. Commenters, in a rush to defend their purchase of the obscure, rally around their tiny champion, crafting essays on its portability and "revolutionary size". It's like watching people brag about their pet rock collections – both are equally useful.
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92 points by kermatt
2024-06-27T15:40:23 |
70 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Open Sourcing Kinopio (pketh.org)
Title: A Heartfelt Gift to the Basement Dwellers
Summary: In a shocking act of charity, the benevolent creator of Kinopio catapults the project into the open source abyss just in time for its 5th anniversary. Now, every basement-bound coder can tinker with the kinopio-client app, because clearly what the world needs is another slightly tweaked version running on someone's decrepit home server. Commenters are tripping over themselves in excitement, ready to fork the repository faster than you can say "pull request," not because they plan to contribute anything of value, but because nothing says "I'm a developer" like a GitHub profile cluttered with half-baked edits to projects nobody uses. 🎉👨💻🚀
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130 points by bpierre
2024-06-27T14:32:35 |
31 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ The Life Of Lithium (noemamag.com)
In this week's page-turner from noemamag.com, the thrilling novella, "The Life Of Lithium," unfolds, a desperate bid to make the periodic table sexy again. The author paints a *riveting* saga about the ups and downs of lithium – from superstar battery component to its *tragic* role in your dead smartphone. Enter the comments section, where armchair chemists and tech bros wage intellectual warfare over their interpretations of high school science, desperately competing for the crown of "Most Pedantic." 🎓💥 Meanwhile, readers quietly recharge their devices, hoping they don't explode.
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47 points by bertman
2024-06-27T15:49:17 |
2 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Pulsed laser deposition at wafer level is a game changer (eetimes.com)
In an article that manages to be as dull as its title, EE Times manages to shine a 1000-word spotlight on "pulsed laser deposition," a supposedly game-changing technology that might allow tech bros to fabricate their egos at the wafer level. The comment section, predictably swarming with laser jocks and semiconductor sycophants, could not decide whether to hail it as the second coming of the silicon revolution or just another way to make shiny, tiny things that most humans will neither see nor care about. One brave soul hinted that understanding the article required an actual degree in physics, but he was quickly vaporized by a beam of condescending replies from self-declared experts. Truly, a photon-packed day at EE Times.
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47 points by jnord
2024-06-26T12:03:33 |
3 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Google Sheets ported its calculation worker from JavaScript to WasmGC (web.dev)
**Google Sheets Decides JavaScript Isn’t Cutting It Anymatically Anymore**
In an unprecedented move that shocked absolutely no one, Google engineers have effectively admitted that JavaScript, the duct tape of the internet, isn't quite the high-performance jet fuel they hoped it would be. Instead, they’ve turned to WasmGC, because why not add another acronym into the tech soup? Commenters, in a dazzling display of missing the point, are already hotly debating whether this will let them finally calculate their extensive cryptocurrency losses in real-time, because clearly, what everyone *really* needs is faster despair. 🚀💔
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372 points by microflash
2024-06-27T09:34:09 |
163 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ FDA warns top U.S. bakery not to claim foods contain allergens when they don't (npr.org)
In a groundbreaking exercise of regulatory muscle, the FDA has decided to tackle the existential threat of bakeries lying about their dangerous lack of allergens. One top U.S. bakery receives a stern finger-wagging for causing a nationwide panic among the allergy-afflicted, who might accidentally eat something healthy. Commenters, in a display of typical internet expertise, fluctuate between calling for public executions and proposing the bakery as the next hot IPO. Because clearly, what's more thrilling than labeling scandals and misinformed mobs?
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113 points by isaacfrond
2024-06-26T08:45:44 |
152 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ How electronic ignition works and also how to make a spark plug play music (theautopian.com)
In a stunning display of technical wizardry and blatant disregard for the sanity of auto enthusiasts, The Autopian unveils the arcane secrets of electronic ignition systems and, inexplicably, how to coerce a spark plug into a musical career. The first paragraph poses a question no one asked, presumably to distract readers from the existential dread of their car knowledge deficiency. Meanwhile, the comments descend into a chaotic symphony of backyard mechanics and electronic prodigies debating the musical tastes of spark plugs—ranging from classic rock to dubstep—with the occasional reminder that cars are, indeed, meant for driving. Cling to your multimeters, folks, it’s going to be a bumpy ride. 🎶🔧
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53 points by pavel_lishin
2024-06-23T18:50:08 |
33 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Supreme Court blocks controversial Purdue Pharma opioid settlement (washingtonpost.com)
The Supreme Court heroically steps in to halt Purdue Pharma’s dastardly plot to throw money at the opioid crisis they helped create, cementing the sacred American principle that *money should never inconvenience billionaires*. Commenters on the Washington Post, now seasoned legal scholars, flex their Google degrees in a festival of misread statutes and misplaced moral outrage. They alternate between calling for the heads of the Sackler family and lamenting the erosion of the fair legal process, seemingly unaware that “fair” in American jurisprudence often translates to “whoever has the most expensive lawyers wins.” The opioid crisis resolution, now as elusive as ever, takes a backseat to America's favorite pastime: vehemently missing the point. 👨⚖️💰🔥
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207 points by datadrivenangel
2024-06-27T18:13:51 |
506 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ CriticGPT: Finding GPT-4's mistakes with GPT-4 (openai.com)
In the latest tech spectacle that nobody asked for, CriticGPT emerges: a meta-AI poised to critique its own kin—how *droll*. Internet commenters, in a dazzling display of redundant cryptography expertise, scramble to outdo each other with decipherable insight on why GPT-4 might flunk its own test, only to end up lauding the snake for eating its own tail. Have we indeed reached the pinnacle of innovation, or is this just a digitalized ouroboros in a party hat? Only time (and more refined algorithms) will tell. 🐍🎉
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162 points by davidbarker
2024-06-27T17:02:09 |
155 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Gemma 2: Improving Open Language Models at a Practical Size [pdf] (storage.googleapis.com)
In this week's episode of AI fanfic, a gaggle of software wizards strut about touting "Gemma 2," the latest AI that promises to not be terrible. Despite being just a modest upgrade to the undiscovered smash hit "Gemma 1," the digital document housed at the ever-glamorous storage.googleapis.com has sparked wild festivities among Hacker News denizens. Comments range from the usual armchair experts lauding the esoteric finesse of model parameters to amateur linguists magically discovering years of computational linguistics knowledge overnight. Pioneering indeed! 🤓🔮
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217 points by tosh
2024-06-27T14:18:46 |
135 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ A dev's thoughts on developer productivity (2022) (sourcegraph.com)
In the latest thrilling episode of "One Developer's Misguided Musings," a valiant keyboard warrior from SourceGraph has decided to reinvent the productivity wheel. This time, it's all about smashing that pesky "code more" button with even gaudier tools and buzzwords. Readers, eager to procrastinate on their own dismal projects, flock to the comments to either hail these insights as revolutionary, or dismiss them as nonsense—each armed with an arsenal of anecdotal evidence and a personal blog nobody reads. 🙄 In any case, everyone agrees: if you're not coding at the speed of light, are you even trying?
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67 points by hogu
2024-06-27T20:16:58 |
26 comments
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