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▲ Bytecode Breakdown: Unraveling Factorio's Lua Security Flaws (memorycorruption.net)
On memorycorruption.net, another brave keyboard warrior descends into the abysmal depths of Lua in Factorio, presumably because real security work doesn't come with enough sprite sheets. Who knew that tearing apart a game's bytecode could be an eldritch ritual summoning unspeakable vulnerabilities and an endless stream of comp-sci terminologies capable of annihilating the remaining sanity of anyone foolish enough to observe? Meanwhile, in the comment section, a motley crew of would-be cryptographers and game modders engage in the age-old internet tradition of missing the point, as they argue over code snippets like theologians debating the dead sea scrolls, blissfully unaware that nobody outside their bubble could possibly care less. 🎮💣
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325 points by memcorruption
2024-06-29T12:35:51 |
82 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Python toolkit for quantitative finance (github.com/goldmansachs)
In a *shocking* display of corporate humility, Goldman Sachs has gracelessly dropped a Python toolkit for quantitative finance on the unwashed GitHub masses, because nothing screams “we care” like throwing code over the wall and running away. The comment section quickly devolves into a horrid mishmash of “first-year Comp Sci major” meets “I once read a finance blog,” with everyone eager to remind each other that they, too, can read documentation if only they could find it. Of course, all participants enthusiastically ignore the subtle irony that their feedback is as likely to be seriously considered by Goldman Sachs as they are to become the benevolent dictators of a small island nation. Serious finance, folks! 📈💸
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128 points by tzury
2024-06-29T17:07:38 |
35 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Imhex: A hex editor for reverse engineers (github.com/werwolv)
In a heroic display of missing the point, another hex editor is unleashed upon the github hordes, because what the world clearly lacks is more tools for poking at binaries like a confused chimpanzee. Its creator assures us that every piece of user feedback is treated like sacred texts, hinting possibly at a lack of friends. Commenters, in a dazzling performance of missing the forest for the trees, dive deep into the vital discussions about UI colors and font choices, because readability surely is the bottleneck in their reverse engineering prowess. Brace for impact, as "serious inputs" transform this tool into yet another indistinguishable item in the utility drawer.
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387 points by wsc981
2024-06-29T07:25:49 |
89 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ The Operational Wargame Series: The best game not in stores now (2021) (nodicenoglory.com)
In an exclusive spectacle for those pridefully eschewing mainstream entertainment, The Operational Wargame Series emerges as a clandestine gem that you've definitely never heard of because, well, you're obviously not that into *real* gaming. This elite escapade of hexes and chits remains stubbornly hidden away from the unwashed Steam masses, assuring that each of the twelve commenters can remain fervently gatekeeping their precious tactical Eden. They exchange rigorous debate over scenarios no one's finished and rules too intricate for the human mind, united in their disdain for anything as pedestrian as "graphics" or "user interface." Bask in the exclusivity, peasants; this wargaming utopia isn't for the likes of you. 🎲🚫🛒
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32 points by cl42
2024-06-29T21:01:11 |
5 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Show QN: Conway's Game of Life, but as a div full of Braille characters (px.neocities.org)
In this week's episode of Hacker News, an intrepid developer has bravely decided to bastardize Conway's Game of Life by rendering it in Braille characters, because nothing screams "accessibility" quite like visual representations of a tactile writing system intended for the blind. Watch in amazement as HN commenters, who suddenly fancy themselves as experts in both cellular automata and visual impairments, debate the nuances of using Unicode Braille patterns to simulate life and death. They collectively solve the non-problem of screen reader compatibility, all while ignoring the fact that actual Braille readers probably didn't ask for this. "Innovative", cries one user, likely patting themselves on the back with one hand while googling "what is Braille?" with the other.
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42 points by pxndxx
2024-06-28T11:36:31 |
3 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Researchers at ETH Zurich develop the fastest possible flow algorithm (ethz.ch)
In a stunning display of "No way, bro" science, researchers at ETH Zurich have apparently solved P=NP while we were busy watching cat videos. According to their headline, they've developed the "fastest possible flow algorithm," effectively ending world hunger for network researchers and three software developers on Hacker News. Comment sections across the digital universe ignite with IT managers fantasizing about how this will let them fire half their team by Monday. Meanwhile, the fate of humanity now rests in the hands of people who think high algorithm speeds might actually convince Jenny in marketing to go out with them.
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177 points by jeroenvlek
2024-06-29T11:12:42 |
17 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ The economics of writing technical books (architectelevator.com)
In another riveting installment on architectelevator.com, tech wizards gather to unveil the shocking revelation that, indeed, penning technical books won’t buy you a private island, but might snag you a coffee at Starbucks—if you’re lucky. Commenters, apparently typing right from their lavish cardboard box setups, engage in fierce digital battles about royalties and advances, while subtly bragging about their own unfinished manuscripts that are sure to revolutionize the industry. Will anyone actually finish a book or just critique from afar? Stay tuned for the next episode of "Great Expectations: The Misadventures of a Technical Writer."
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152 points by raju
2024-06-29T13:26:46 |
56 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Show QN: I am building an open-source Confluence and Notion alternative (github.com/docmost)
Today on Hacker News, yet another brave soul attempts to reinvent the digital wheel by launching an open-source knock-off of Confluence and Notion, because what the world clearly lacks is *another* tool for documenting the mundane. The project, dubbed docMost—because apparently all the good names were taken—is heralded by its creator with the standard line, "We read every piece of feedback and take your input very seriously." Cue the relentless onslaught of comments from self-proclaimed UI/UX experts and armchair developers who have found their weekly calling in critiquing, while generously sprinkling their advice with unsolicited feature requests. 😂 Will this be the project to finally dethrone its commercial counterparts? Spoiler: No. But don't tell the commenters—they're too busy scripting the future of documentation from their basement lairs.
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60 points by Pi9h
2024-06-29T17:27:58 |
16 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Trilobites killed by volcanic ash reveal features never seen before (bristol.ac.uk)
The brilliant minds at Bristol have apparently solved all other scientific conundrums and are now bringing us minute-by-minute updates from the Cambrian Period. Wielding little more than artistic whim and a dusty pile of what they assure us are fossilized kaboom trilobites, these academics have unveiled "features never seen before" — which, shockingly, look much like the old features but with a layer of ash. Comment sections are ablaze with fiery insights from armchair paleontologists, one-upping each other with wild conjectures about the personal lives of these long-dead sea bugs. Prepare for a thrilling saga of arthropod anatomy, where speculation meets science under the loose supervision of artistic license. 🌋🦖💬
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6 points by geox
2024-06-29T22:14:02 |
0 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Overleaf: An open-source online real-time collaborative LaTeX editor (github.com/overleaf)
In a riveting display of technological narcissism, the hallowed halls of Github present "Overleaf", an "open-source" ode to LaTeX that absolutely no one outside academia has heard of or cares about. The developers, marinating in self-importance, assure us they read "every piece of feedback" with the type of seriousness you'd reserve for a heart transplant. Commenters, frothing with the unique blend of elitism only obscure software can instill, engage in verbal combat to decide who can push the most obtuse use case as a "critical feature". Arguments about whether using Overleaf is better than carving equations into stone tablets were surprisingly only the second most boring part of the thread.🙄
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112 points by kaladin-jasnah
2024-06-29T19:46:20 |
46 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Meta Large Language Model Compiler (meta.com)
On June 27, 2024, the tech hamsters at Meta managed to duct-tape together yet another "breakthrough": the Meta Large Language Model Compiler. Hailed as revolutionary by at least three people on their payroll, this tool purports to translate AI gibberish into slightly less nonsensical AI gibberish, promising to "accelerate AI applications" or, more likely, inflate Meta's AI ego. Meanwhile, in the comments, various tech bros masquerade their existential dread with arguments over which JavaScript framework could’ve done it better. The consensus? Anything, as long as we keep pretending AI will fix everything. 🙄🤖
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8 points by marban
2024-06-28T10:47:25 |
0 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ That Editor (github.com/bisqwit)
On GitHub, a developer unleashes "That Editor" because clearly, what the world lacks is yet another text editor. The project’s page is a majestic temple of self-assurance, where the phrase _"We read every piece of feedback"_ whispers sweet nothingness into the void. Commenters, in an outpouring of unbridled originality, either swoon like they've encountered the second coming of Emacs, or engage in the kind of nitpicking that could only mean they truly have nothing better to do. This digital circus offers both a testament to human endeavor and a graveyard for Saturday afternothers.
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118 points by phplovesong
2024-06-28T07:44:43 |
14 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ The Dream of an Alpine Waterway (nationalmuseum.ch)
The latest *grand revelation* on nationalmuseum.ch introduces us to Pietro Caminada, a man with a "simple" dream that redefines peddling lunacy as innovation. Apparently, massive cargo ships traipsing across the Alps sans engines wasn't just a viable project, but a stroke of genius—at least in his head. The comment section, as usual, transforms into an intellectual void where armchair engineers and nautical enthusiasts collide, each trying to outdo the last by concocting more elaborate and less feasible makeshift solutions. Embark on this enchanting journey of delusion, where gravity, physics, and common sense have all been conveniently left downstream. 🚢🏔️
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36 points by teew
2024-06-28T10:52:56 |
9 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Thousands of Pablo Picasso’s works in a new online archive (smithsonianmag.com)
In a stunning turn of events that surprises absolutely nobody, the Smithsonian has decided that the internet deserves thousands of Picasso's works in one mega, digital exhibit. Because if there's one thing the digital proletariat loves, it's critiquing abstract art from their couches. Watch in awe as countless experts emerge overnight, wielding Google-searched art theories like clumsy matadors against Picasso's bulls. The comments section, a rich tapestry of misinterpreted art history and unchecked ego, promises to be as abstract as the paintings it discusses. 🎨😂
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154 points by bookofjoe
2024-06-29T17:39:16 |
29 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ James Joyce was a complicated man (thefitzwilliam.com)
Today on the internet, a groundbreaking revelation: James Joyce was complicated. The literary world shudders at this bombshell, readily available information repackaged as a novel insight on thefitzwilliam.com. Readers, gasping in faux amazement, take to the comments to shield or skewer Joyce with the kind of binary thinking that would make the writer himself chuckle or turn in his grave. The debate sprawls— Joyce is either a visionary genius or an insufferable bore, with no in-between. Tune in next week for another "revelation" that William Shakespeare used metaphors, or was it similes? 🤔
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67 points by apollinaire
2024-06-28T05:51:58 |
35 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Mapping the Red Planet with the Power of Open Science (nasa.gov)
🚀 Mapping the Red Planet with the Power of Open Science showcases NASA's latest attempt to justify why we still aren’t partying on Mars with Martians. From a dizzying 26 feet up, a helicopter snaps a pic of some space junk — really groundbreaking science here, folks. Meanwhile, in the comments, armchair astronauts and budding conspiracy theorists collide over pixels and dust, debating whether it's a Martian Sandal or just another billion-dollar piece of scrap. Godspeed to humanity’s finest, gathering crucial data on how not to clean up after themselves. 🌌
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18 points by sohkamyung
2024-06-28T07:05:53 |
0 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ AirPods fast connect security vulnerability (gnome.org)
On today’s episode of "Modern Problems Require Modern Vulnerabilities," Jonas, presumably after taking a break from his busy schedule of inhaling free office snacks, discovers that Apple’s AirPods might connect a bit *too* quickly for their own good. Behold, as the Internet's brigade of armchair security experts descends upon Jonas’ blog to outdo each other with convoluted "solutions" that involve everything from reverting to smoke signals to encasing your entire head in Faraday material. Tragically, no one suggests the simplest fix: actually using the wires Apple so cruelly stripped away. Because it's 2023, and if your headphones can’t be hacked, are you really living? 🎧💻
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158 points by memalign
2024-06-29T17:40:11 |
17 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ A bunch of programming advice I'd give to myself 15 years ago (mbuffett.com)
In an astonishing display of self-reflection, a seasoned software guru shares the nugget of gold he wishes he could've backported to his younger, probably less bald self. The audience, in a riveting engagement of 12 minutes—which could've been spent learning something new instead—relish the chance to dance around the echoes of generic advice that reverberate softly in the hollows of their GitHub repositories. Commenters crawl from beneath their backlog of unresolved bugs to herald the illuminating rehash of tips, garnishing them with a smorgasborg of "*I wish I knew this before*" and "*This changed my life*" anecdotes, freshly recycled from their last binge of self-help Twitter threads. A virtual group hug ensues in the digital abyss, as everyone agrees vehemently on the timelessness of re-inventing the programming wheel. 🔄💻🤦♂️
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348 points by marcusbuffett
2024-06-29T11:38:01 |
224 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ The story, as best I can remember, of the origin of Mosaic and Netscape [video] (pmarca.substack.com)
The digital illuminati gather around the virtual campfire at pmarca.substack.com to hear another retelling of the ancient browser wars, a tale seasoned with the delightful hubris of Silicon Valley. Marc Andreessen, endowed with the memory retention of an overclocked 286, generously rewrites tech history for the adoring masses. Commenters, eager to display their exhaustive knowledge of 90s web trivia and missing the point entirely, engage in a keyboard battle to crown themselves King of the Nerds. Each one, somehow, knows the story better than the last, in a never-ending echo of "Actually…"
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335 points by kjhughes
2024-06-28T20:39:07 |
123 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ The Flexipede Revisited (chilton-computing.org.uk)
In yet another thrilling retrospective, the denizens of chilton-computing.org.uk wax nostalgic about the Flexipede, a computer animation so culturally significant that both original creators had initially forgotten why they should even care. Hugh 'Ras' Riddle revises history in a desperate bid to inject meaning into his accidental creation, while Tony Pritchett reminisces about the good old days when programming was "just fun" and not a subject for overwrought analysis. Meanwhile, the comment section dissolves into a cesspool of aging techies competing to show off who can remember the most irrelevant programming trivia. Surely, this is what the internet was made for. 🙄
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52 points by timthorn
2024-06-29T06:13:51 |
0 comments
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