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▲ Code reviews do find bugs (two-wrongs.com)
Title: Code reviewers discover their purpose (and it isn't just snacking)
In an earth-shattering revelation at two-wrongs.com, researchers uncover that—gasp—code reviews might actually unearth bugs, contrary to the zealously pessimistic conclusions of some 2015 Microsoft coffee club members. Commenters, armed to the teeth with anecdotal evidence and a shaky grasp of statistical methods, wage a valiant battle against the oppressive tyranny of evidence, heartily asserting that their last bug squash in 1997 clearly validates the process. Witness the spectacle as seasoned reviewers swap tales of that one time their comment about spacing issues totally prevented a multi-million dollar system failure, forever cementing their status as the unsung heroes of the cubicle farm. 🐞💻
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55 points by imadj
2024-07-01T23:23:13 |
20 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Getting the World Record in Hatetris (2022) (hallofdreams.org)
In an earth-shattering display of pointless expertise, some modern hero tackles "Hatetris," essentially Tetris designed by a sadist. Breathlessly documented in excruciating detail, this monumental achievement dares to answer the question no one asked. The comment section, a tragicomic cesspit of wasted bandwidth, erupts in philosophical debates about the deeper meaning of suffering through video games. Watch as humanity's brightest minds justify why rotating hateful tetrominoes is the pinnacle of modern achievement. 🎮💀
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17 points by TheCog
2024-07-01T23:26:05 |
3 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Ask QN: Who is hiring? (July 2024)
The HackerNews job fair circus rolls back into town for its *July 2024* edition. Desperate tech bros and their vanishing startups pitch tents, each promising that *their* particular brand of "disruption" is less ephemeral than their funding. The comments section devolves into a performative coding melee, as armies of keyboard warriors duel using the latest jargon, each vying to prove they are one REST API more competent than their peers. Every single one of ChickTech’s nemeses is here to recruit, and every other commentator has a "unique" opportunity in a company so innovative, no one's heard of them yet. 🎪💻
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318 points by whoishiring
2024-07-01T15:01:49 |
293 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ A proof of proof by infinite descent (relatedwork.blogspot.com)
On the prestigious playground of 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘.𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑡.𝑐𝑜𝑚, a blogger decides to reinvent mathematical wheel with a thrilling rehash called "A proof of proof by infinite descent." Clearly misunderstanding their high school math teacher's enthusiasm for descent, not as a method but a metaphor for their own spiralling explanations, they dive deep into an explanatory void. The enlightened comment section, armed with half-read Wikipedia pages and a sprinkle of Dunning-Kruger, eagerly forms a self-congratulatory circle, debating the fine points of nothingness while simultaneously disproving the blog's initial thesis that nothing emerges from a vacuum. 👏 Pure genius, or pure vacuity? You decide.
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43 points by matt_d
2024-07-01T21:49:39 |
15 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Reflection for C++26 (isocpp.org)
In an unfathomably brave attempt to salvage the sinking ship that is C++, a glorious new paper, [P2996R3], emerges as the latest life preserver, promising to reflect on all past mistakes—symbolically, literally, and recursively. Meanwhile, the forums are abloming with keyboard warriors, each more eager than the last to display their supreme understanding of templates and memory addresses, while simultaneously failing to compile a hello world on their first try. Witness the digital battlefield where no actual code is written, but everyone is certain they could have designed the language better. 🤓💻🚀
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64 points by svlasov
2024-06-30T11:26:13 |
41 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Show QN: Doggo – A powerful, human-friendly DNS client for the command line (mrkaran.dev)
In a world desperately barren of DNS clients, one hero dares to introduce “Doggo” – yet another command line tool that translates human laziness into network queries. The database administrators on Hacker News gush with euphoria, finally free from the tyranny of typing an extra few characters. Amidst the thunderous applause, persisting naysayers question its novelty, fervently comparing it to ancient texts of DNS lore. In the Comments section, battle lines are drawn and egos inflated as users debate whether this tool is "a lifesaver" or just another bookmark in their overflowing tool graveyard. 🐶💻
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203 points by mr-karan
2024-07-01T16:56:32 |
52 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ The cutest monopoly: Koala Kare (thehustle.co)
In a daring exposé that shocks precisely no one, The Hustle unveils "Koala Kare," the clandestine empire monopolizing baby-holding-wall-plastic. Readers, finally relishing the chance to showcase their vast knowledge of regulatory capture and anti-trust laws, transform the comments section into an intellectual landfill, helpfully reminding each other that monopolies are indeed, *bad*, unless we're talking about their favorite tech overlords. 🐨💼 Meanwhile, token attempts at humor about "adorable domination" are met with all the enthusiasm of a soggy diaper.
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51 points by Anon84
2024-06-30T11:17:13 |
39 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ My Python code is a neural network (gabornyeki.com)
On gabornyeki.com, a brave keyboard warrior reveals their groundbreaking discovery: a Python script masquerading as a neural network, undoubtedly confusing the print statement for deep learning. The commentary section becomes a battleground where self-proclaimed tech savants wage war over the nuances of copy-pasted StackOverflow snippets, all firmly believing they’re just one clever insult away from a tenure-track professorship at MIT. Each misses the irony that Google Colab notebooks were doing this in preschool. 😂👨💻
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244 points by gnyeki
2024-07-01T12:47:38 |
49 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ An unexpected journey into Microsoft Defender's signature World (retooling.io)
The Hive of Ubiquitous Mediocrity congregates to worship at the shrine of yet another riveting exposé titled "An unexpected journey into Microsoft Defender's signature World." Here we witness a gripping tale of how Microsoft stuffs yet another bloated sentinel, Microsoft Defender, onto our already staggering Windows machines. The crowd marvels as the article breaks down the dichotomy between the hallowed Defender for Endpoint and the ever-vigilant Defender Antivirus, with commentators loudly confusing the two and arguing over which one could better protect them from the dread specter of actually having to pay for software. Highlights include heated debates over the best ways to disable Defender completely, interspersed with anecdotal horror stories about that one time Defender deleted someone's Minecraft saves. Truly, a classic tale of user experience meets user incompetence. 🎭💻🔒
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29 points by serhack_
2024-06-30T08:38:24 |
0 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ When RAND made magic in Santa Monica (asteriskmag.com)
At RAND, a group of esteemed witch doctors of policy once turned water into complex international policy cold-brews during the good old days. Now, the RAND Corporation, once the Silicon Valley for war enthusiasts, is apparently reduced to churning out think tank generic-brand cereal. Commenters, in a mesmerizing display of nostalgic "back in my day...," stumble over themselves to idolize RAND's past as if cold war strategizing is today's hottest collectible. Curse the fates and pass the governmental funding, for RAND is no longer Dumbledore—it's just another wizard shuffling papers.
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49 points by mitchbob
2024-07-01T19:48:20 |
13 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Ask QN: Who wants to be hired? (July 2024)
This month on Hacker News, the doomed congregation of the perpetually jobless convenes yet again under the hopeful banner of "Who wants to be hired?" Spoiler: they all do, desperately. Watch as candidates perform the digital equivalent of open mic night, throwing out buzzwords like "Blockchain-enabled AI synergist" in their quest to cling to the Silicon Valley gravy train. In the comments, other lost souls either offer vacuous encouragements or engage in the Silicon Valley favorite sport: gatekeeping masquerading as advice. 🎭 Grab your popcorn!
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110 points by whoishiring
2024-07-01T15:01:47 |
265 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Show QN: ViperIDE – MicroPython IDE for web and mobile (github.com/vshymanskyy)
This week on Hacker News, an unyielding hero has bravely announced ViperIDE, yet another IDE that none of us knew we desperately needed. It promises to revolutionize the way we mangle Python in browsers and on our phones, because clearly, desktop IDEs were *so* 2019. Commentators engage in the ritual dance of questioning the need, security, performance, and existential philosophy behind this marvel while subtly plugging their own half-baked GitHub projects. Nobody mentions that they will stick to Vim, but everyone is thinking it. 🐍💻
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29 points by vshymanskyy
2024-06-30T12:24:39 |
4 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Switzerland mandates software source code disclosure for public sector (europa.eu)
In a shocking burst of transparency, Switzerland decides that knowing what your government software does shouldn't just be a privilege for the alphabets in the NSA. Armed with a new mandate for software source code disclosure in the public sector, Swiss citizens can now experience firsthand the soul-crushing reality of trudging through thousands of lines of spaghetti code, presumably written by drunk apes. Commenters, renowned for their deep understanding of software development from watching half a YouTube tutorial, are tripping over each other praising the move as the dawn of a new tech utopia. Meanwhile, several are surely gearing up for a "Where can I download the source code for traffic lights?" campaign, failing to differentiate Java from JavaScript.
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34 points by coloneltcb
2024-07-01T23:48:22 |
2 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Spending too much time optimizing for loops (octavelarose.github.io)
In the latest episode of "Premature Optimization Theater," Octave Larose reveals a gripping saga titled *Spending too much time optimizing for loops*. The blog ascends from actual programming advice to an existential crisis, pondering whether a for-loop can ever truly be fast enough in our fleeting mortal coil. Alleged programmers in the comments section vie for dominance with their undecipherable one-liners, each more desperate than the last to prove they can shave off a nanosecond on their grandma's 486. At day's end, the real question remains—why optimize your code when you can optimize the time spent trolling comment sections instead? 🤷♎️
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4 points by azhenley
2024-07-01T23:59:05 |
0 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ CPS in Hoot (wingolog.org)
Title: _Another Day, Another Scheme_
At the crack of dawn, wingolog.org serves up a steaming hot plate of nerdery with a side of obscure programming concepts. Today’s special: a droll monologue on how the Hoot Scheme-to-Wasm compiler marries the ancient ritual of continuation-passing-style (CPS) transformation. Enthusiasts comment with the kind of unbridled joy reserved for discovering a new sorting algorithm, spiraling into an abyss of self-referential tech jargon and misplaced pride. Expect cries of "revolutionary!" and "game-changing!" in a performance that transforms confusion into an art form. 🎭🚀
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29 points by wglb
2024-06-28T03:43:33 |
0 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Pumped-storage hydroelectricity (wikipedia.org)
In an exhilarating demonstration of missing the mark, the internet brain trust flocks to Wikipedia to enlighten themselves on pumped-storage hydroelectricity, possibly the least exhilarating solution to energy storage since the AA battery. Commenters, drunk on the new knowledge of water going uphill, engage in a war of "expertise" based on half-remembered high school physics lessons and random documentaries watched at 3 AM. The resulting discourse miraculously solves none of the world’s energy problems but successfully generates a surplus of ego-powered hot air, adequate to sustain internet arguments until the next trivial article pops up. 🌍⚡🔄
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46 points by luu
2024-06-30T00:52:29 |
52 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Conway's Game of Life for curved surfaces (2012) (0fps.net)
In an audacious display of recreational mathematics, a brave soul decides to warp Conway's Game of Life beyond its humble 2D grid, applying it to *curved surfaces* because apparently, flat surfaces were just too mainstream. Commenters, in a stunning demonstration of missing the point, engage in a spirited debate over whether this breakthrough can predict their next dysfunctional relationship or just solve world hunger with pixelated blinkers. Between the self-congratulatory back pats and the inevitable calls for a 3D version involving doughnuts, humanity inches ever closer to enlightenment—or an especially nerdy episode of Black Mirror. 🌀🎮💔
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43 points by babelfish
2024-07-01T00:24:27 |
8 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ We are at our most creative just before we fall asleep, scientists say (weforum.org)
In a mind-blowing revelation confirming what every half-awake Redditor already mumbled into their midnight pillow, science has finally declared that the pinnacle of human creativity is reached precisely at the moment before sleep claims our wearied souls. Comment sections across the internet are ablaze with geniuses who've clearly never had an original thought at high noon, solemnly nodding in agreement and sharing their own monumental, sleep-adjacent innovations, like socks for hands or teleporting pizza. Excitedly, they discuss this groundbreaking study between their musings on whether avocados feel pain and plotting the logistics of colonizing Pluto. Indeed, as we edge into the twilight of consciousness, the comments themselves begin to resemble surreal art. 🌜💡🎨
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39 points by squircle
2024-07-01T22:30:31 |
30 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Automating my gate door via a smart relay (arslan.io)
At arslan.io, an ambitious techno-wizard details the mind-blowing process of turning a basic gate into Skynet's less-threatening cousin by hooking it up to a smart relay and subjected to the whims of HomeKit via Home Assistant. The comment section transforms into a battleground where hobbyists wielding Raspberry Pis lay siege against the noobs who don't understand the difference between Zigbee and a frisbee. Witness a thrilling saga of DHCP leases and MQTT topics, as each commenter tries to one-up each other, proving forever that they can indeed use Google search. Bask in the glory of over-engineering a solution to a problem no sane person knew existed. 😩🔧💻
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35 points by farslan
2024-06-30T09:56:10 |
14 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Weavers and Concluders: Two communication styles (2021) (neuroclastic.com)
In an earth-shattering revelation that will surely upend millennia of human social interaction, a revolutionary article introduces us to "Weavers" and "Concluders," two groundbreaking communication styles you never knew existed because you were too busy actually communicating. The comment section, a notorious battleground for the most enlightened keyboard warriors, intricately dissects the profound implications of being a "Concluder" in a "Weaver" world, or vice versa. Spoiler: most commenters are convinced they're uniquely oppressed by the other group’s incomprehensible babbling. Who knew that talking could be so complicated? 😱
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76 points by ColinWright
2024-06-30T20:45:09 |
14 comments
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