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▲ Show QN: Xcapture-BPF – like Linux top, but with Xray vision (0x.tools)
In an unforgettable display of silent hubris, Tanel Poder unveils Xcapture-BPF, which is essentially your grandmother's Linux 'top' command after a radioactive spider bite. The HN crowd, in a dazzling exhibition of missing the point, dives into a jargon-tossing festival, comparing the tool to everything from the Hubble Telescope to their favorite brand of biodegradable yoga mats. Brace yourselves for a flood of comments where everyone ignores the actual utility of seeing things you don't understand and instead, races to suggest features that would make it even less comprehensible. Who needs X-ray vision when you have the ability to overcomplicate tools with features you read about five minutes ago in another Show HN thread?
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154 points by tanelpoder
2024-07-03T20:52:37 |
18 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ The Origins of DS_store (2006) (arno.org)
In a stunning display of journalistic archaeology, arno.org delves into the pressing issue that keeps us all awake at night: where on Earth did .DS_Store files come from? Mac users and accidental tourists from Windows encounter these digital fossils, yet never pause their existential screaming to ask why. Commenters, in a scholarly brawl reminiscent of toddlers fighting over a pacifier, argue fiercely about file system philosophies and share thrilling tales of deleting .DS_Store files as if recounting their conquests of Everest. Who knew that a hidden file could not only clutter desktops but also inflate egos to bursting? 🤔💥
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104 points by edavis
2024-07-03T21:55:13 |
43 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ The Joy of Reading Books You Don't Understand (reactormag.com)
On ReactorMag.com, a beacon of hope for the perpetually perplexed book club members, an enlightening article showers wisdom on the masochistic joys of reading books way out of our intellectual league. The author bemoans the hardships of pretending to grasp *Finnegans Wake* at dinner parties, presenting this tragic inability as a quirky “learning experience.” Below, in the intellectual Sahara that is the comments section, literary masochists rally, sharing tear-jerking testimonials about the transformative power of nodding along to Proust without understanding a word. “It’s about the journey,” assures one commenter, likely while glancing at a SparkNotes summary of the very article.
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64 points by speckx
2024-07-03T21:44:47 |
24 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Why Alaska Rivers Are Turning an Eerie Orange (atlasobscura.com)
In an intrepid exploration of the world's least pressing mysteries, Atlas Obscura dives into why Alaska's rivers look like a bad spray tan. Naturally, commenters oscillate between blaming global warming and suggesting the rivers are just paying tribute to the early 2000s reality TV scene. It's a scenic blend of ignorance and misapplied enthusiasm that could only be enhanced by the revelation that the orange tint is due to the rivers desperately trying to join Instagram. 🍊📸 Who knew environmental science could be so *vibrant*?
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47 points by rbanffy
2024-07-01T13:14:31 |
25 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ The History of Machine Learning in Trackmania (hallofdreams.org)
Title: Hack the Track: How AI Took Over Your Mom's Favorite Racing Game
In an utterly riveting exploration that absolutely nobody asked for, hallofdreams.org delves into the "pioneering" use of machine learning in the game where you do nothing more than press 'go fast' and 'turn slightly.' Here, we learn that Trackmania has somehow distinguished itself beyond its arcade peers by implementing AI, presumably because the players weren't already robotic enough with their perfected pixel-by-pixel driving paths. Commenters, swelling with pride over their ability to nearly differentiate between a checkpoint and a cheeto stain on their screens, argue vehemently about whether AI has destroyed the "purity" of crashing into the same wall 6000 times. The rest of the internet prays for an EMP to restore some semblance of humanity. 🏎️💥
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22 points by Philpax
2024-07-02T05:38:31 |
0 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ A practical introduction to constraint programming using CP-SAT and Python (pganalyze.com)
Today's Hottest Regurgitation: Constraint Programming for the Aspirational Script Kiddie
Welcome to another tech blog staple where we pretend that slapping Python on a constraint problem turns every e-commerce underdog into an overnight Amazon. The post enthusiastically oversimplifies CP-SAT applications, assuming that the hardest part of logistics and transportation problems is deciding to use Python. Comments are a circus of programming hobbyists sharing their plot to solve world hunger with three lines of code and intros to constraint programming from pop-up ads. All aboard the hype train of using Boolean algebra to decide where to stockpile unsold fidget spinners! 🚂💨📦
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150 points by lfittl
2024-07-03T16:48:34 |
16 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Introduction to Program Synthesis (csail.mit.edu)
Title: Hackers Rejoice: Homework Gets Easier
Summary: MIT's latest miracle, *Introduction to Program Synthesis*, promises a revolution in laziness, allowing our best and brightest minds to offload puzzle-solving to robots. Who needs critical thinking when you have "instruction tables" and an abiding faith in tech? The comments section quickly devolves into a vague nostalgia for human effort, as seasoned keyboard warriors bemoan or celebrate the incoming era of automated collegiate homework. The consensus seems to be that if you can't beat MIT's code-generating beast, it's probably best to join it—or at least pretend to understand it on internet forums. 🤖💤
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12 points by squircle
2024-07-03T23:28:11 |
2 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Engine Sound Simulator (markeasting.github.io)
In a stunning display of technological irrelevance, markeasting.github.io presents the "Engine Sound Simulator," a marvel designed to remind us of our crippling dependence on auditory nostalgia. Cue an army of armchair developers and self-proclaimed audio experts who immediately swarm the comments, arguing about the authenticity of V8 growls versus inline-four buzzes. Meanwhile, normal humans navigate away, searching for applications that might actually benefit human civilization. Embrace obsolescence with a soundtrack! 🎵🚗
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185 points by hyperific
2024-07-02T22:32:42 |
68 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ The Cheapest NAS (sigwait.org)
On sigwait.org, a haven for aspiring nerds with high thrift scores and low social interaction stats, the latest article unveils the secret to cobbling together an NAS with the tech equivalent of duct tape and prayers. The riveting post, updated at a time no one asked for, details an unnecessarily complex journey to save three dollars. Commenters swarm, tripping over themselves to brag about the additional two cents they shaved off using a coupon code from 1997, or by salvaging parts from their grandmother's ancient VCR. They collectively miss the irony that their time could be better spent earning money to buy a decent NAS outright. 🙄
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149 points by henry_flower
2024-07-03T16:45:01 |
167 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Wordsworth Donisthorpe, Blackmail, and the First Motion Pictures (publicdomainreview.org)
In an *earth-shattering* revelation, The Public Domain Review exhumes the grave of Wordsworth Donisthorpe, a man who apparently did more than just possess a name rivaling Dickens characters in absurdity. Discover how Donisthorpe's flirtation with blackmail and primitive movie-making toys intertwine like a Victorian soap opera, sans the budget. Commenters, donning their top hats and monocles, spew forth a cavalcade of "actuallys" and "well-actuallys", as they battle to proclaim who can be the most pedantic about 19th-century peep shows. 🎩📽️ #TimeTravelTedium
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5 points by prismatic
2024-07-03T23:17:20 |
0 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Luakit: A fast, extensible, and customizable web browser (luakit.github.io)
Title: Luakit: Not Like Your Grandpa's Browser
Another day, another browser framework promising to revolutionize our digital lives from the obscure corners of GitHub. Luakit, wielding its *magic* combo of WebKit and GTK+ toolkit, touts itself as the bespoke tailoring service of web browsers. It's so customizable with Lua scripting that all twelve users can't stop tinkering under the hood instead of actually browsing the web. Meanwhile, in the comment section, a circus of power users engage in the time-honored sport of declaring Firefox dead, sharing dotfiles no one asked for, and misunderstanding the GPL. 🚀👨💻🔧
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100 points by thunderbong
2024-07-03T17:58:14 |
9 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Beating NumPy matrix multiplication in 150 lines of C (salykova.github.io)
Beating NumPy matrix multiplication in 150 lines of C (salykova.github.io)
In an era of global tech wizardry, Aman Salykov valiantly takes up keyboard and mouse to revolutionize the ancient art of matrix multiplication with a surprisingly short snippet of C code. Because nothing screams innovation like reinventing a wheel that's been turning smoothly for decades. Commenters flock to shower praise, confirm their programming prowess, or perplexedly inquire why anyone would bother when their trusty NumPy does it all sans drama. A beatific example of programming bravado paired with collective amnesia about library existence. 🎉🤷♃️
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22 points by p1esk
2024-07-03T21:52:55 |
0 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Do not taunt happy fun branch predictor (2023) (mattkeeter.com)
In a thrilling display of self-torture, a brave soul openly admits to deliberately writing AArch64 assembly, because why enjoy life when you can juggle molten syntax? This heroic adventure takes us deep into the world of branch predictors, where we're warned "do not taunt" them, as if they were sentient beings plotting revenge. The comment section, as expected, transforms into a battleground of egos, where every keyboard warrior proves they can out-geek each other by citing more obscure references per square inch. Clearly, if you thought your job was a pain, here's a community trying to elevate suffering to an art form. 😂
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211 points by fanf2
2024-07-03T14:42:02 |
103 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Wcurl: a curl wrapper to download files (samueloph.dev)
In a bold move that will surely revolutionize the foundational mechanics of the internet—or more likely, not—an intrepid developer has unveiled Wcurl. This monumental code wraps around the ancient curl like a shiny new duct tape, bringing the same functionality with a new name because typing 'wget' was too mainstream. Commenters, in the throarious throes of ecstasy, can barely contain their awe, flooding the page with borderline hysterical praise for what is essentially a wrapper. Huzzah, the GitHub stars are coming!
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40 points by todsacerdoti
2024-07-03T19:55:04 |
10 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Architectural cross-section of Kowloon Walled City (cohost.org)
Title: The Forbidden Architectural Wonder of Kowloon's Eternal Maze
In a daring feat of armchair urban planning, a hero of the internet bravely outlines the long gone but never forgotten Kowloon Walled City, all while skillfully balancing a hashtag portfolio that screams "I'm an influencer with depth!" Witness the mob of amateur historians and Instagram urbanists flood the comments with their profound insights on Chinese architectural oppression and romanticizing what was essentially a cramped, lawless mega-structure. Don't miss the gripping debate between the nostalgic sage who never visited Hong Kong and the 21st-century digital nomad who uses Google Earth to experience ancient ruins. This digital circus proves that Kowloon's legacy isn't just in its tightly packed alleyways, but also in tightly packed egos on the internet. #MuchAdoAboutNothing
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134 points by hampelm
2024-07-01T15:27:25 |
40 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Making a Linux-managed network switch (brixit.nl)
At brixit.nl, an intrepid hobbyist reveals that sometimes the best solution to network management is to over-engineer a gigabit switch because obviously, regular hardware just doesn't cut it for someone who really, *really* likes to complicate things. In the comments, the usual suspects parade their vast ignorance by one-upping each other with increasingly arcane snippets of Linux lore, while simultaneously failing to clarify why anyone should undertake this digital Sisyphean task. It’s a miraculous congregation of those who speak exclusively in tech acronyms and have an allergic reaction to off-the-shelf solutions. 🐧💻🔧
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132 points by _Microft
2024-07-03T14:47:18 |
29 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Man-Computer Symbiosis (1960) (csail.mit.edu)
In this dusty old relic from 1960, J. C. R. Licklider tries to convince us that humans and computers can work together in harmony, a concept as adorable as it is naive. Commenters, in a breathtaking display of missing the point, argue vehemently about which vintage keyboard is the best conduit for achieving this mystical symbiosis. As usual, nostalgia wins over practicality, with heated debates flaring up over technology that most of this crowd has only seen in museums. Never has the future felt so retro. 🕰️👴💻
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110 points by davedx
2024-07-03T09:26:14 |
40 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ New Warp Drive Model Requires No 'Exotic Matter,' Scientists Say We Can Build (thedebrief.org)
In an astronomical leap of faith, hobbyist physicists and basement-bound engineers are thrilled as yet another "groundbreaking" warp drive model emerges from the void—this time, sans the pesky need for unobtainable exotic matter. According to reports from *The Debrief*, a cabal of Swedish researchers (potentially fueled by too much caffeine and sci-fi reruns) have sketched up a warp drive on a napkin that breaks the cosmic speed limit without breaking the known laws of physics. Cue the frenzied comment section, teeming with armchair astronomers and folks who mistook *Star Trek* scripts for their physics textbook, all ready to pilot their homemade starships fueled by relentless optimism and a glaring disregard for reality. 🚀😂
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6 points by bilsbie
2024-07-04T00:44:41 |
0 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ AI's $600B Question (sequoiacap.com)
In the latest episode of Tech Bro Philosophy, a breathless article proudly proclaims the impending pop of the AI bubble—a catastrophe predicted as precisely as a horoscope. Using a number just vague enough ($600B) to seduce venture capitalists and startup wannabes, the author solemnly warns that the key to survival is "navigating what comes next," which is code for "please fund my next sketchy venture." Commenters, in a display of collective wisdom, oscillate between proclaiming AI as humanity's savior and denouncing it as the harbinger of the apocalypse, evidently unsure whether they're pitching a reality show or drafting legislation. They do agree on one fact: they're all geniuses here. 🙄
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160 points by fh973
2024-07-03T19:55:41 |
291 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Advice to Young Mathematicians [video] (youtube.com)
Today, on the Institute of Advanced Study Vimeo dump, another "world-renowned" mathematician shares unsolicited advice, presumably because solving Fermat's Last Theorem was less fulfilling than anticipated. Watch as the aging sage distills decades of esoteric scribbling into bite-sized platitudes, perfect for the next generation of Euclids in training. Commenters, in an astounding display of missing the point, compete to share their own irrelevant mathematics "journey," mostly consisting of high school algebra and misunderstanding the concept of infinity. 🤓🔢🎓
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55 points by Anon84
2024-06-30T23:47:49 |
6 comments
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