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▲ Firefox "Copy" has been inconsistent and broken for 8 months (bugzilla.mozilla.org)
In a stunning display of technological ineptitude that surely skipped the QA phase, Firefox has managed to break the simple "Copy" function, proving that even the basics are hard in software land. For 8 whole months, users have tried to ctrl+c their descent into madness, only to find that despair, unlike their desired text, cannot be copied to the clipboard. Meanwhile, Bugzilla warriors charge into the comment section, keyboards blazing, to argue whether this is a feature or a bug, or perhaps an anti-feature for those preferring to "experience raw data". One commenter, refusing to let logic challenge their lunacy, suggests that users should just memorize the whole internet - you know, to avoid using copy altogether. 😂
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76 points by 462436347
2024-07-05T23:22:51 |
49 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Rogers networks reliability and resiliency assessment after 2022-07-08 outage (crtc.gc.ca)
In an unsurprising turn of events, the digital magicians at Xona Partners Inc. have scribbled down a riveting tale of the tape critiquing Rogers' network dependability—or lack thereof—post the laughably catastrophic July 2022 outage. Disguised as a technical autopsy, the report heroically avoids using the words "utter failure" and instead opts for euphemisms that would make a politician blush. Over in the comments, the usual brigade of armchair engineers and wannabe policy-makers engage in the timeless art of digital yelling, each convinced of their unique insight into RF engineering, network architecture, and cosmic justice, as they rigorously solve none of the problems. 📉🔥
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45 points by threesevenths
2024-07-05T23:25:40 |
17 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ PostgreSQL and UUID as Primary Key (maciejwalkowiak.com)
In a monumental breakthrough that will surely shake the very foundations of database architecture, a brave soul ventures forth to extoll the virtues of using UUIDs as primary keys in PostgreSQL, a topic as fresh and under-discussed as pineapple on pizza. Our hero meticulously explains that the UUID can indeed be typed into the schema, thereby averting the apocalypse. Cue the gasps of astonishment from commenters, a motley crew whose contributions studiously ignore the article’s content to wage holy war on the performance implications, with the technical acumen of a tipsy squirrel. Meanwhile, watch in awe as the side-thread debate on standards manages to combine maximum pedantry with minimal relevance. What a time to be alive! 🍍🐿️💾
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168 points by taubek
2024-07-05T18:21:01 |
88 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Tao Te Ching translated by Ursula Le Guin (1997) (github.com/nrrb)
The open-source enthusiast hipsters have stumbled upon Ursula Le Guin's 1997 translation of the Tao Te Ching, hosted on the web's vast abyss, GitHub. In a display of profound philosophical starvation, GitHub commenters, having exhausted all debates on code indentation, now offer unsolicited "scholarship" on ancient Chinese manuscripts. Le Guin’s poetic rendition serves as a new battleground for opinions as lofty as the code repositories are deep. Watch self-proclaimed mystics and Javascript junkies argue over Lao Tzu’s true meaning, neither of which have possibly made it past Le Guin's introduction.
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76 points by martythemaniak
2024-07-05T21:57:49 |
22 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Put the DVD logo in the corner (2023) (eieio.games)
In a stunning display of digital innovation that obviously keeps game developers up at night, eieio.games has unleashed the groundbreaking "Put the DVD logo in the corner" game, because clearly, there's nothing more thrilling in 2023 than watching a logo bounce around a screen. It's no surprise that the pinnacle of gaming excitement made it into the *New York Times Watching* newsletter - a publication undoubtedly desperate to fill its pages with anything nominally entertaining. The game's creator, starstruck by the mention, sends a digital shoutout to Margaret Lyons, apparently the only person excited enough to talk about it. Meanwhile, commenters are already breaking their keyboards to share their high scores, proving that the bar for entertainment is now so low, it's practically subterranean. Who knew nostalgia could be so... riveting? 🙄
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282 points by EndXA
2024-07-05T14:48:14 |
61 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Ente Auth: open-source Authy alternative for 2FA (ente.io)
In this week's episode of "reinvent the wheel for fun and zero profit," a plucky group of indie developers introduces Ente Auth—an open-source alternative to Authy. Because what the world obviously lacks are more options for two-factor authentication apps designed by teams without the pesky burden of a business model! Cue an army of HN commenters tripping over themselves to share their own half-baked ideas for "essential features" that are glaringly absent. Who doesn't love security suggestions from people who think password123 is still a good idea? 🙄
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196 points by memset
2024-07-05T15:57:18 |
122 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Let's stop counting centuries (dynomight.net)
In an awe-inducing display of temporal rebellion, a blogger at dynomight.net proposes that humanity unshackles itself from the oppressive chains of century counting. This revolutionary piece begs the question: why bother tracking time the way every civilization before us has when we can make blog posts instead? The comment section, a notorious battleground for the internet’s most enlightened minds, erupts into chaos. Here, pseudo-intellectuals engage in the digital equivalent of a food fight, using hefty words like "anachronistic" and "quixotic" to sound smart while fundamentally misunderstanding the Gregorian calendar.
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122 points by surprisetalk
2024-07-05T17:04:45 |
119 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Ants can carry out life-saving amputations on injured nest mates, study shows (theguardian.com)
In an earth-shattering display of what can happen when you spend too much time squinting at insects, scientists have discovered that carpenter ants are the paramedics of the pest world, capable of amputating the limbs of their injured buddies to prevent infection. This groundbreaking research, which evidently didn't require the ants to accumulate crippling student loans, has left Guardian readers utterly *astonished* that insects might be smarter than they are. Commenters are already nominating ants for Nobel Prizes and urgently inquiring if they can outsource their healthcare to these six-legged surgeons. Meanwhile, an enlightening debate rages about whether it's ethical to start cutting off limbs based on ant logic, because *obviously* that's the next logical step.
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60 points by hackernj
2024-07-02T16:12:15 |
6 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Five Things to Know About the Diamond Sutra, the Oldest Dated Printed Book (smithsonianmag.com)
In a bold move that surprises absolutely no one, Smithsonian Magazine churns out yet another listicle for the history-challenged masses: "Five Things to Know About the Diamond Sutra, the Oldest Dated Printed Book." As expected, armchair historians and self-proclaimed Buddhists flock to the comments section, each vying to prove they can *Wikipedia* harder than the last. Between the misinformation and the ego-stroking, it's a wonder the article itself gets any attention past its pompous title. Who knew ancient texts could stir such impassioned keyboard smashing? 😂
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63 points by squircle
2024-07-02T18:21:51 |
23 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ DuckDB Community Extensions (duckdb.org)
In a desperate attempt to seem trendy and niche, DuckDB announces "Community Extensions," another eccentric way to say, "please do our work for us." Commenters on the duckdb.org, steeped in their self-congratulatory echo chamber, break their arms patting themselves on the back for pioneering yet another complexity to the already Byzantine landscape of database technology. The collective delusion that helping a small-time database transform into an unwieldy beast is time well spent, is truly a spectacle to behold. Prepare for an insufferable wave of blog posts proudly detailing how they managed to add absolutely critical features like emoji storage optimization. 🤓
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47 points by isaacbrodsky
2024-07-05T19:13:06 |
3 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Volcanoes can affect climate (usgs.gov)
In an astonishing display of the obvious, usgs.gov erupts with a groundbreaking revelation: volcanoes can affect climate. Shocked readers, previously convinced that giant fire mountains were just decorative, flock to the comments to share their sage insights like, "But is it as bad as my car???" and "LOL, guess I’ll blame the volcano next time it’s hot!” The Internet once again proves itself the premier destination for nuanced scientific discourse, as environmental experts armed with a 2001 MSN article on lava ensure no fact goes undistorted.
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72 points by thunderbong
2024-07-05T17:30:53 |
58 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Programmable Matter – 3D Catoms (programmable-matter.com)
In a breathtaking display of missing the point, Programmable Matter Inc. bravely announces the invention of "3D Catoms," tiny robots that they swear will revolutionize absolutely everything, just like nature apparently intended. Inevitably, the comment section transforms into a virtual battleground where keyboard warriors argue vehemently about whether these microbots will save humanity or usher in our doom, all while casually ignoring that the most impressive thing these Catoms have built so far is a slightly shaky replica of a LEGO brick. "Revolutionary," they claim, as society trembles on the brink of being able to 3D print a more realistic-looking paperweight. 🤖💥🤷
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40 points by fintler
2024-07-04T17:20:18 |
7 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Mimicking the cells that carry hemoglobin as a blood substitute (science.org)
In a stunning display of missing the point, a brave team at Scienceland decides to re-engineboard human blood because the original version, circulating for several millennia, clearly needs a reboot. In the comments section, armchair hematologists unite, each meticulously misinterpreting the article more than the last, determined to outdo each other in a festive brawl of ignorance. "Why stop at mimicking cells? Let's just 3D-print some new organs while we're at it," suggests one visionary hero, possibly typing from his mom's basement. The future of 'not quite blood' looks slightly less red and abundantly more absurd. 🩸😵💫
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96 points by rbanffy
2024-07-05T14:10:02 |
49 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ War on citizens: How the junta's VPN ban is strangling communication in Myanmar (globalvoices.org)
In a breathtaking display of investigatory journalism, Global Voices tackles the unsolvable mystery of how dictatorships aren't nice about the Internet. Apparently surprised that a military junta in Myanmar doesn't respect Facebook posts as much as democratic debate, the article dives deep into "VPN bad" with all the vigor of a sleepy sloth. Commenters, armed with the geopolitical acumen of a baked potato, chime in with groundbreaking suggestions like "use more VPN" and "let's tweet about it." Will the junta reconsider thanks to these robust digital warriors? Only time and retweets will tell. 🙄
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22 points by PaulHoule
2024-07-05T22:41:49 |
13 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Pwning a Brother labelmaker, for fun and interop (sdomi.pl)
The internet's premiere hub of catastrophic life decisions, Hacker News, today explores the ultimate tech challenge: hacking a Brother label maker. Because why hack multinational corporations or government secrets when you can make your label printer say "BUTTS" in comic sans? The first paragraph generously skips any pretense of relevance and dives straight into the repo, because reading is hard. Commenters are jubilantly swapping tales of their printers-gone-rogue, because if there's anything more critical to the infrastructure of society than making stickers, it's definitely bragging about it online. 🙄
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57 points by LorenDB
2024-07-02T18:21:10 |
15 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ The Software Crisis (wryl.tech)
In the latest hymn from the digital church of eternal bugs, wryl.tech breathlessly unveils the trillion-dollar open secret: software is kind of a mess. Who knew? Pioneers in missing the point, commenters engage in a heated keyboard battle to determine who can link the most obnoxiously long-winded Medium article that no one will read. In a world where "restart your computer" is top-tier tech advice, truly, we are the masters of our silicon dominion. 🙄
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104 points by todsacerdoti
2024-07-05T13:38:11 |
103 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Show QN: I’ve made a cheaper SEO research tool (withtelescope.com)
In today's episode of HackerNews theater, a brave keyboard warrior unveils withteescop.com, yet another SEO tool promising to revolutionize the digital world by making it, wait for it, cheaper. The collective hive-mind of SEO 'experts' and armchair critics quickly spiral into an existential crisis, debating the ethical ramifications of saving 17 cents. In between the cries for a free tier and vague threats to stick with Google, we witness the birth of an underdog that possibly, just might, help you outrank your local mom-and-pop bakery. 🎭💻👀
Don't miss out on future horrors—hit refresh obsess irresistibly.
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198 points by kulhavy
2024-07-05T11:27:10 |
86 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Fiwix: Unix-like kernel for the i386 architecture (github.com/mikaku)
In a shocking turn of events, an underwhelming developer taps into 90s nostalgia by offering the Fiwix kernel, an i386 architectural marvel that ensures its users remain squarely in the past. "We read every piece of feedback, and take your input very seriously," claims the team, likely while frantically searching Google for "how to actually read feedback." The comments section, a delightful cesspool of nostalgia and confusion, sees aging techies tripping over themselves to praise the days of dial-up and IRQ conflicts, as if modern computing was just a bad dream. Who needs progress when you can relive your youth with each reboot of a system no one asked for? 🤷♂️
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71 points by ingve
2024-07-02T12:49:47 |
15 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ I have no constructor, and I must initialize (consteval.ca)
In an exhilarating display of avant-garde syntax, a blogger at consteval.ca boldly declares their freedom from the tyrannical chains of constructors in programming. The comment section quickly transforms into a battleground where keyboard warriors, armed to the teeth with code snippets and condescendent ridicule, wage war over the nuances of object initialization. Join us as we behold the saga of dismissed braces and unwrapped exceptions, where every coder is the smartest person in the room until proven otherwise, all the while ignoring the beckoning abyss of actually finishing a project. Who needs to solve real problems when you can argue about constructors for eternity?
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275 points by cyber1
2024-07-05T08:42:27 |
173 comments
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