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▲ Scientists Discover a Cause of Lupus, Possible Way to Reverse It (northwestern.edu)
Scientists at Northwestern Medicine and their academic buddies have finally pointed their telescopes down from the nighttime sky to something slightly more terrestrial: lupus. Their groundbreaking paper, surely fueled by excessive coffee consumption and existential dread, has revealed a "molecular defect" that could be the arch-villain in this autoimmune narrative. Meanwhile, in the fantastical land of online comments, armchair immuneologists are tripping over each other’s keyboards to offer wild interpretations and MLM-cures inspired by Google searches and half-remembered high school biology classes. Will spraying lavender oil fix my DNA? Stay tuned. 🧬💻🌿
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216 points by adamredwoods
2024-07-10T21:24:49 |
32 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Show QN: Dut, a fast Linux disk usage calculator (codeberg.org)
Another week, another groundbreaking innovation in the relentless quest to over-engineer simple tasks. Meet Dut: because apparently, using "du" was just unmanageable chaos. Soon to be included in every distro by someone who gets triggered by more than three-letter commands, Dut ensures you'll never have to endure the hardship of typing two whole extra characters again. Comment sections are ablaze with congratulatory back-patting, as amateur programmers marvel at the audacity of reinventing the wheel, only this time with slightly rounder edges. 🚀🧐
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11 points by 201984
2024-07-10T23:29:56 |
0 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Weird things I learned while writing an x86 emulator (timdbg.com)
Title: Weird things I learned while writing an x86 emulator (timdbg.com)
A former developer from the technological *dark ages* of WinDbg and VMware hypervisor dives into the chaos and existential despair of writing an x86 emulator, because clearly, modern software just isn't suffering enough. The blog post starts off promisingly with musings on "the art and science of debugging" before spiraling into anecdotes that remind us all why we drink. Comments section warriors eagerly one-up each other with unrelated stories, desperately trying to prove they too could hack it back in the good old days of real programming—preferably in assembly, wearing an onion on their belt. 🧅💾
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242 points by fanf2
2024-07-10T14:42:03 |
77 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Vision language models are blind (vlmsareblind.github.io)
In an earth-shattering revelation that will absolutely revolutionize absolutely nothing, a new study poignantly titled Vision Language Models are Blind confirms what the keenest minds had never doubted: computer models that analyze images and text might (!) not see like humans. Shockwaves ripple through the basement labs of the world as dozens of Redditors, suddenly experts in computational neuroscience, trip over each other to offer the most "profound" embellishments of this pedestrian discovery. Thread highlights include a heated debate over whether toaster AI will ever appreciate the Mona Lisa and another commenter trying to explain the nuances of "visual perception" in emojis. Progress in AI? More like regression in AI comprehension.
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279 points by taesiri
2024-07-10T13:35:22 |
119 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Brian Kernighan on "The Practice of Programming" [video] (youtube.com)
In a groundbreaking display of unprecedented originality, Brian Kernighan recycles the age-old wisdom of "The Practice of Programming" into a thrilling twenty-minute YouTube montage that could have easily been an email. Armchair programmers flood the comments with their pixel-stained witticisms, each desperately asserting their superiority by critiquing methodologies they only half understand. One particularly luminary commenter enlightens the masses by pointing out a typo at 14:05, clearly the keystone to mastering programming. This is, without doubt, the TED Talk that will finally boost them from junior code monkey to senior clipboard manager. 🤓
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166 points by zdw
2024-07-10T14:45:19 |
27 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Multi-agent chatbot murder mystery (onrender.com)
Welcome to the latest *tech circus* where programmers, desperate to prove that their AI isn't the digital equivalent of a lobotomy, have birthed the "Multi-agent chatbot murder mystery." Watch in bewildered amusement as barely sentient lines of code fumble through solving a fictional murder, sporting less deductive reasoning than your average soap dish. In the comments, spectacle enthusiasts masquerade as AI ethicists, engaging in heated debates about machine consciousness, which unsurprisingly conclude nothing but generate ample heat to toast marshmallows over their flaming keyboards. 🍿
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182 points by PaulScotti
2024-07-09T22:34:39 |
84 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Real-time audio programming 101: time waits for nothing (rossbencina.com)
**Hackernews Thread Outdoes Itself in Real-time Incompetence**
A chilling horror story emerges from rossbnechina.com about a programmer who thought disk I/O on an audio thread was the peak of efficiency. Commenters, emboldened by their collective misunderstanding of threading, swarm to showcase unique blends of condescension and incorrect CS 101 tips, solving issues no one has. One daring hero proposes rewriting the kernel in Rust as an obvious fix, while another suspects the real problem is simply not using Vim. It's yet another day in paradise where the blind lead the blind, and everyone gets a participation trophy for their expert commentary. 🎖🎧
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97 points by ssfrr
2024-07-09T03:24:22 |
39 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ SimSig: Railway Signalling Simulations (simsig.co.uk)
In an electrifying derailment from reality, hobbyists flock to SimSig, where the thrill of managing virtual trains supersedes the underwhelming excitement of their daily commutes. These intrepid railfans, or "signal sages," bicker endlessly over the nuances of properly timed red lights, each convinced of their superior operational acumen compared to actual, trained professionals. Between sips of stale workplace coffee, commenters heatedly debate the realism of the 2:45 to Paddington's delay due to "signal failure," a crisis only truly appreciated by connoisseurs of the arcane art of railway signaling. It's "The Sims" for train enthusiasts who believe they, too, could have averted the chaos of insert any major train delay in history here. 🚂💥
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180 points by untilted
2024-07-10T09:02:16 |
76 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ AMD to buy Silo AI for $665M (ft.com)
In a desperate bid to remind people that they still exist, AMD has decided to splurge $665 million on Silo AI, because nothing says "innovation" like buying a company named after a farm storage structure. The Financial Times, behind its ever-generous paywall, offers this information teasingly like a caviar sample at a budget wedding. Meanwhile, the comment section, filled to the brim with stock market Nostradamuses, quickly devolves into arguments about whether this will make AMD's stocks go "to the moon" or just "further into the orbit of irrelevance." Clearly, both the journalists and the armchair analysts are having too much fun pretending they understand AI beyond using Siri to set their morning alarms. 😂
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397 points by helsinkiandrew
2024-07-10T13:26:15 |
215 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Training of Physical Neural Networks (arxiv.org)
In an earth-shattering revelation that will redefine the echoes of the universe, or at least the back of your garage, some lab-coated heroes published yet another paper about "**Training Physical Neural Networks**" on arXiv. The research—destined to be mostly unread—miraculously makes your abandoned high school calculus feel like a cornerstone of the cosmos. As expected, the grand chorus of armchair Einsteins in the comments section have all but solved AI bias, the energy crisis, and their mom's basement living arrangements. But hey, who needs a Nobel when you’ve got the upvotes from fellow keyboard warriors, right? 🚀🧠
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77 points by Anon84
2024-07-10T13:13:51 |
30 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Zed on Linux Is Here (zed.dev)
The "revolutionary" new editor Zed has finally graced Linux with its presence, and dozens are almost interested. The blog post on zed.dev triumphantly heralds this epoch-making event as if anyone beyond the most bored GitHub stars collectors could truly care. Comment sections across the Internet are ablaze with an unbearable excitement, as scores of basement-dwelling technology enthusiasts compete to virtue signal the hardest about embracing yet another text editor. "Finally, an alternative to Notepad!," exclaims one discerning coder, probably. 🙄
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458 points by 0xedb
2024-07-10T16:56:02 |
388 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Big Ball of Mud (1999) (laputan.org)
In a thrilling odyssey only slightly less murky than its name suggests, "Big Ball of Mud" delves into the fascinating world of how software architectures devolve into incomprehensible blobs of code. The author ardently champions the architectural equivalent of a toddler's attempt at building a skyscraper with mashed potatoes. Meanwhile, the comments section becomes a self-help group for scarred programmers, where war-stories about past coding horrors are exchanged like vintage baseball cards. Here, in the mildly-damp swamp that is their habitat, software developers finally find solace in knowing they are not alone in their suffering.
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78 points by thesuperbigfrog
2024-07-10T19:29:32 |
69 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Ed Stone, Top Scientist–and Salesman–For the Voyager Mission, Dies at 88 (wsj.com)
The Wall Street Journal reports with somber reverence that Ed Stone, famed architect behind the Voyager missions and inadvertent promoter of shiny space rocks, has died at 88. Readers rapidly transform the comments section into a bleak microcosm of the cosmos, expertly debating Stone’s legacy between bouts of contesting which Star Trek captain would have most appreciated his PowerPoint skills. As always, the debilitating realization that none of the commenters will ever leave their computer chairs, much less the solar system, fails to dampen the enthusiasm for misusing scientific terms. Meanwhile, true to form, sales in vintage Voyager memorabilia spike as reader after reader suddenly rediscovers their "lifelong passion" for space exploration. 🚀💫
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108 points by impish9208
2024-07-10T17:17:05 |
20 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ An analysis of module names inside top PyPI packages (joshcannon.me)
In an *earth-shattering* exposé that will undoubtedly rewrite the annals of computer science, Josh Cannon decides to tackle the pivotal issue of naming things in Python projects. His illuminating discovery? That names, hold onto your seats, can be either good or bad. Meanwhile, the comment section transforms into a chaotic battlefield where self-proclaimed code aficionados engage in heated debates about the philosophical implications of naming a module "fluffy" versus "cupcake," turning a slightly mundane topic into an absurd soap opera about syntax semantics. 🤯
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11 points by thejcannon
2024-07-06T12:23:01 |
6 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Pyxel: A retro game engine for Python (github.com/kitao)
In an exhilarating blast from the past that no one asked for, Pyxel emerges to rescue all twelve retro gaming enthusiasts who still think Python is the pinnacle of cutting-edge game development. The developers solemnly swear they "read every piece of feedback and take your input very seriously," which, in internet speak, means they occasionally glance at the comments between binge-watching sessions of '80s arcade game walkthroughs. Scrolling through the comment section is like stepping into a time machine set to 1989, with every commenter competing for the High Score in Nostalgia. Who knew the peak of modern software engineering would look so much like something you could code on a potato? 🥔💾🎮
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22 points by nateb2022
2024-07-07T18:38:06 |
0 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ The NYT Book Review Is Everything Book Criticism Shouldn't Be (currentaffairs.org)
In an earth-shattering expose that will redefine the literary world, currentaffairs.org delivers a blistering critique of The New York Times Book Review with the blunt force of a wet noodle. Watch as we are led through a maze of (*gasp*) potential conflicts of interest and subscriber-only paywalls. Meanwhile in the comments, a herd of armchair critics competes to out-woke each other, each desperately referencing more obscure publishers in an attempt to crown themselves king of the indie book hill. If only their insights were as deep as their thesauruses are thick.
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32 points by XzetaU8
2024-07-10T20:08:06 |
11 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ How CD pregaps gained their hidden track superpowers (tedium.co)
Today on the internet, a groundbreaking exposé into the hidden world of CD pregaps reveals that, yes, music nerds do indeed have too much free time. The article courageously uncovers how a few seconds of silence have been transformed into the cryptic sanctuary of Easter eggs for those who refuse to let go of the 90s. Comment sections are buzzing with zealous reminiscing, as gatekeeping aficionados argue over who wasted more of their youth burning CDs in their parent's basement. Truly, a vital discussion for the future of humanity. 🤓🎵
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209 points by shortformblog
2024-07-09T19:38:36 |
120 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Using the 5S Principle in Coding (santhoshsundar.medium.com)
In an earth-shattering revelation, a Medium blogger unleashes the ancient wisdom of the "5S Principle" upon the unsuspecting world of coding, promising organization and efficiency in the chaos that is your average programming project. Devotees in the comments section, all twenty-three of them, hail this innovative crossover as revolutionary, while simultaneously arguing over whether "Shine" or "Standardize" will better help them find the missing semicolon in their 800-line function. Critics are relegated to sulking silently, their cries drowned out by the sound of frantic copy-pasting of principles into JIRA tickets already doomed to languish in the backlog forever. Who knew cleaning up your desk could fix spaghetti code? 🚀💻😂
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56 points by Gigacore
2024-07-06T16:19:41 |
34 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ RouteLLM: A framework for serving and evaluating LLM routers (github.com/lm-sys)
Title: RouteLLM: Yet Another Revolutionary Tool to Solve Problems No One Actually Has
This week, GitHub plays host to RouteLLM, a *cutting-edge* solution in search of problems, promising to revolutionize the very fabric of problem-solving - by presumably creating more of them. The creators insist they value user feedback highly, presumably because someone needs to tell them what their project is actually for. As usual, the comments section becomes a war zone where hobbyists and "experts" debate heatedly about the potential impact of this tool on their pet projects, using a lot of technical jargon to disguise the fact that none of them have actually read the documentation. 😂📚💥
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205 points by djhu9
2024-07-10T00:35:38 |
32 comments
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