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▲ WebVM is a server-less virtual Linux environment running client-side (webvm.io)
In an age where efficiency is clearly for the weak, "WebVM" valiantly shoves an entire Linux environment into your already wheezing browser. Because if there's anything more productive than one operating system, it's stuffing another inside it for those essential tasks like refreshing Twitter. The hordes of commenters, frothing at the digital mouth, cheer wildly from their ergonomic battle stations, convinced they've now become the sysadmins of the Matrix. Clearly, spinning up a VM inside a tab is what Turing really dreamt of while laying the foundations of modern computing.
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268 points by sebg
2024-07-11T20:16:21 |
57 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Physics-Based Deep Learning Book (physicsbaseddeeplearning.org)
In a stunning display of unnecessary computational gymnastics, "Physics-Based Deep Learning Book" hits the shelves, or rather, the bandwidth, waxing poetic about how we can use glorified calculators to mimic the rules of the universe. Physics enthusiasts and machine learning experts collide in the comments, each side convinced their hobbyhorse is the real powerhouse, rather than collaborators in a dance of mutual confusion. Watch in amusement as they throw around "tensor" as though it's a Hogwarts spell, while somehow managing to solve none of the world's actual problems. 🧙♂️💫💻
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52 points by sebg
2024-07-11T22:10:10 |
3 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Third Places and Neighborhood Entrepreneurship: Evidence from Starbucks Cafés (nber.org)
In a riveting exposé that will surely rock the world of both latte sippers and nascent moguls alike, the latest NBER brain-buster reveals that Starbucks, the corporate coffee monolith, might just sprinkle a smidge of entrepreneurial magic over those American neighborhoods it graces with its hallowed presence. Forget community centers or local libraries, the real incubators of innovation are apparently found amidst the symphony of espresso machines and orders for triple, venti, half-sweet, non-fat, caramel macchiatos. Commenters, seizing their moment to shine, eagerly transform into armchair economists and sociologists. They debate whether it's the smell of coffee or the sight of overpriced pastries that truly ignites the capitalist spirit, while casually dropping mentions of their own startups, all poised for disruption, naturally. 🙄💫🚀
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25 points by bikenaga
2024-07-11T23:50:09 |
6 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Windows 95, 20 July 1992 build (betawiki.net)
This week on the _digital_carousel_ of redundancy known as Betawiki, time travelers and tech archaeologists have unearthed what appears to be the technological equivalent of a dinosaur bone: the Windows 95 build from July 20, 1992. Watch in sheer *bemusement* as the comment section transforms into a battleground where "experts" in retro software argue over pixels and performance issues that were barely relevant when people were still renting VHS tapes. It’s a blast from the past that nobody asked for, yet these enthusiasts are treating this find as if they’ve discovered fire, not a floppy drive-era OS that even your grandma has moved on from. Exactly what we needed, another reason for misplaced nostalgia. 🙄💾
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16 points by Use
2024-07-11T23:23:36 |
0 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ FlashAttention-3: Fast and Accurate Attention with Asynchrony and Low-Precision (together.ai)
The brilliant minds at together.ai have concocted yet another AI marvel they've dubbed FlashAttention-3, which promises faster, sharper, and more ADHD-friendly AI processing because who has time for accuracy in 2024? As usual, the comment section is a battleground of misunderstood technical jargon, with half the crowd pretending they've already integrated it into their startup's stack and the other half confusing it with their microwave's power settings. Meanwhile, anyone asking for practical applications is ceremoniously told to read the white paper or, more likely, to just trust that it's "revolutionary." Irrational exuberance is alive and well in the hearts of tech bros everywhere. 🚀🙄
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183 points by jhshah
2024-07-11T17:06:06 |
31 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Gene-silencing tool shows promise as a future therapy against prion diseases (news.mit.edu)
The wizards over at MIT are back at it again, sprinkling their high-tech fairy dust on prion diseases now. According to news from the magical realm where science wizards wrestle with Creation's code, they’ve whipped up a new “gene-silencing tool” that’s about to kick prion butt, because nothing solves complex medical crises like vague, nascent technology. Cue the breathless horde of commenters, barely containing their glee as they briefly distract themselves from existential dread, ponderously mixing WebMD jargon with hushed reverence as they imagine DNA itself bowing before the might of MIT’s latest gizmo. Will it cure what ails ye? Who cares, as long as it sounds 🔬*science-y*🔬 enough!
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84 points by gmays
2024-07-11T19:21:08 |
18 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Surviving three years in North Korea as a foreigner (2021) (mydiplomaticlife.com)
In an exhilarating display of naivety, a brave keyboard warrior recounts their "harsh" three-year stint in North Korea, a journey surely fraught with perilous ventures like limited Wi-Fi and an oppressive lack of Starbucks. The comments section becomes a battleground where geopolitical experts (with impressive experience in Call of Duty) fiercely debate the ethical nuances of Instagramming under a dictatorship. Meanwhile, everyone ignores the actual complexities of North Korean life, opting instead to ponder if our intrepid blogger was ever close enough to Kim Jong-un for a selfie. 📸💥
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219 points by Hansig_jw
2024-07-11T15:52:14 |
95 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ The Typeset of Wall·E (2018) (typesetinthefuture.com)
**The Typeface Tantrum of Wall·E**
In an exciting turn of events, typesetinthefuture.com decides to tackle the pressing issue of our time: the typefaces used in WALL·E, because apparently, when you're stuck on a dying planet, typography will save us all! Hold on to your hats (or should we say, your Helvetica?) as some intrepid blogger dissects the deep philosophical implications of Arial versus Futura in a tale of robots and rampant consumerism. Jump into the comments where a gang of self-proclaimed font fanatics argue over kerning like it’s the key to the last remaining trash compactor on Earth. 🤖📚
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489 points by drones
2024-07-11T09:28:54 |
63 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Korvus: Single-Query RAG with Postgres (github.com/postgresml)
In a stunning display of self-congratulation masked as magnanimity, the korvus enthusiasts unleash their latest gift upon humanity: a single-query RAG with Postgres. As they emphatically reassure us they "read every piece of action-packed feedback," skeptics might wonder whether it's the feedback or their interpretation that needs serious help. Meanwhile, the comments section emerges as a warzone where data hobbyists with delusions of adequacy trade barbs and buzzwords, each trying to prove they can misunderstand the technology's potential more profoundly than the last. Truly, a spectacle of digital Darwinism in action. 💥🍿
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128 points by levkk
2024-07-11T16:35:31 |
28 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Show QN: Mandala – Automatically save, query and version Python computations (github.com/amakelov)
On Hacker News, a brave soul introduces "Mandala," a tool promising to revolutionize the tediously redundant task of remembering what you coded yesterday. The GitHub page swears by the sanctity of developer feedback, a sacred ritual involving ignoring suggestions while nodding vigorously. Commenters, surfacing from their latest 36-hour blockchain argument, engage in the age-old tradition of suggesting irrelevant features and questioning the necessity of the software until someone redirects them by whispering "Docker" three times. By next week, Mandala will join the forgotten realms of side projects, as HN finds a new shiny object to dissect. 😂🔄
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29 points by amakelov
2024-07-11T20:10:44 |
12 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Rulers of the Ancient World: period correct measuring tools (burn-heart.com)
**Rulers of the Ancient World: period correct measuring tools (burn-heart.com)**
In a desperate bid to recapture any semblance of relevance, *Burn-Heart.com* launches its "Rulers of the Ancient World" series, providing aspiring hipsters and self-proclaimed history buffs with a chance to own the *exact* measuring tools used to build the Pyramids and other decrepit, sandy locales. Apparently, the only thing more outdated than the empires these rulers come from are the opinions swirling in the comment section, where various internet scholars argue vehemently over the Imperial vs Metric system as if their lives depend on converting Celcius to Fahrenheit. 📏🏛️ Come for the rulers, stay for the enlightening sight of grown adults using "your" when they mean "you're," discussing measurement accuracy on replicas of ancient wooden sticks.
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90 points by maxwell
2024-07-11T16:41:34 |
49 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Capturing Linux SSL/TLS plaintext without a CA certificate using eBPF (github.com/gojue)
**Capturing Linux SSL/TLS plaintext without a CA certificate using eBPF**
In a groundbreaking revolution sure to redefine "side-channel blunders," an intrepid GitHub user unveils a method to capture SSL/TLS plaintext on Linux, minus the hassle of a pesky CA certificate. Cue the fanfare! 🎺 Hackers and three-letter agencies send their regards. Armed with eBPF — a tool slightly less comprehensible than quantum physics — the guide promises you'll be snooping on secure communications by tea time. The comment section, a thrilling abyss of paranoia and misplaced bravado, blossoms into a festival of armchair cryptographers and "but can you do it on Windows?" debates. Somewhere, a sysadmin weeps quietly into their caffeinated beverage.
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85 points by walterbell
2024-07-11T17:31:48 |
27 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Boosting Compiler Testing by Injecting Real-World Code (acm.org)
In a thrilling breakthrough, tech enthusiasts have discovered a *revolutionary* technique called "using real programs" to test compilers. This groundbreaking idea, published on the hallowed digital pages of ACM, will ensure compilers are sturdier than the egos peppering the comments section where armchair experts are currently losing their minds. Watch in amazement as these keyboard warriors argue about the best way to inject bugs, clearly missing the point that, maybe—just maybe—the bugs are actually in their own code. Who would have thought that real-world code could contain _real-world problems_? 🤯🤖
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4 points by matt_d
2024-07-11T23:18:15 |
0 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Copied Act would make removing AI digital watermarks illegal (theverge.com)
In a stunning display of originality, Silicon Valley has crafted legislation to make tampering with AI watermarks as unlawful as fixing a horse race at a glue factory. Lauren Feiner, channeling the mirth of a policy magician from her tent at The Verge, unveils the "Copied Act" — a name surely brainstormed in a marketing meeting that lasted longer than the crafting of the law itself. The commenters, experts in legislative nuances after binge-watching courtroom dramas, hail this as either the dawn of Big Brother or the savior of digital artistry, depending on which side of the bed they woke up on. 😱👩💻🚫
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16 points by omneity
2024-07-12T00:01:15 |
4 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Iconography of the X Window System: The Boot Stipple (matttproud.com)
In a shocking turn of events, someone manages to write an entire post about seeing an old stipple pattern from the X Window System, confirming that nostalgia is now officially scraping the bottom of the barrel. Commenters, in a desperate flurry of excitement, bond over their shared trauma of remembering obscure tech graphics – a sight only slightly less painful than their attempts at humor. "Remember when pixels were visible?" chuckles one user, while others vigorously nod in the safety of their dark, dusty rooms filled with CRT monitors. It's the internet equivalent of finding an ancient cave painting, only less historically significant and more likely to invoke eye rolls. 🙄
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142 points by todsacerdoti
2024-07-11T13:48:49 |
100 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Shelley Duvall has died (bbc.com)
Title: Shelley Duvall Escapes The Shining Hotel For Good
In a thrilling twist that rivals a Stephen King novel, US actress Shelley Duvall has exited stage left at the age of 75. Known for literally running away from an axe in *The Shining*, Shelley decided it was time to make a final escape from the madness of Hollywood—and our world. Internet eulogists, ever keen to show their depth, parade their intimate knowledge of her entire filmography, carefully cribbed from a frantic IMDb search. Meanwhile, debates rage in the lower crypts of the comment sections about whether her best role was running from Jack or sitting next to Woody. We bid adieu as the online oracles issue their judgements as if Shelley herself is reading from the great beyond, impatiently waiting to correct their TV-induced misunderstandings. 🎬👻
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174 points by yladiz
2024-07-11T16:06:08 |
40 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Physicists have created the most fiendishly difficult maze (sciencealert.com)
In an earth-shattering display of wasting grant money, physicists have manifested the 'most fiendishly difficult maze,' prompting millions to lose sleep over why PhDs enjoy complicating simple things. A few brave souls in the comments valiantly pretend to understand the implications of this maze on quantum computing, while others are busy Googling 'what is a maze?' Expect an insufferable series of YouTube explainer videos featuring this maze with clickbait titles like "Physicists HATE Him – Discover Why!" 🙄 Meanwhile, the actual physicists are probably just thrilled to not be solving Sudoku puzzles for once.
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117 points by jhncls
2024-07-10T21:20:41 |
68 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ The Sumerian Game: The Most Important Video Game You've Never Heard Of (2021) (acriticalhit.com)
In an artful blend of obscurity and irrelevance, acriticalhit.com resurrects "The Sumerian Game," a title so pivotal that its influence is undetectable in any major gaming innovation since Pong. The digital scribes wax lyrical about a game that taught schoolchildren in 1964 how to turn ancient crops into old news. Meanwhile, the commenters, embroiled in a fierce competition to out-nostalgia each other, battle over arcane historical details most people wouldn't recognize if they came inscribed on a clay tablet. It’s an enchanting read for anyone passionate about video game history or desperate enough to feign interest.
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66 points by Bluestein
2024-07-07T10:21:14 |
10 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Making Python Less Random (healeycodes.com)
In an earth-shattering display of the peak prowess that one can exhibit on a keyboard, a brave blogger decides that Python's randomness isn't quite random enough. Watch out, Guido. The floodgates open and the comment section rapidly transforms into a cesspool of brogrammers and amateur entropy enthusiasts debating the philosophical implications of 'true' randomness as if they could outsmart a soggy bag of dice. Will Python's fate be sealed by a blog post, or will the Internet once again solve absolutely nothing while stroking their own Dunning-Kruger effect? Stay tuned, or, you know, don't. 🙄💻🐍
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4 points by healeycodes
2024-07-08T20:09:08 |
0 comments
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