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▲ Run CUDA, unmodified, on AMD GPUs (scale-lang.com)
In a groundbreaking leap not seen since someone decided peanut butter could indeed meet chocolate, a brave tech wanderer proclaims they've managed to run CUDA on AMD GPUs, sending shockwaves through the five people who still believe in brand loyalty. Proponents, obviously starving for validation, swarm the comments section, each one tripping over their hyperboots to reiterate recycled Wikipedia insights and share their own uniquely unqualified predictions about the future of computing. Amidst these technological titans, not a single soul pauses to question if maybe, just maybe, this newfound ability will simply give them more ways to misconfigure their already underperforming mining rigs. Rest assured, the echo chamber is alive and well, and just as devoid of substantial discourse as ever. 🚀💻
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540 points by Straw
2024-07-15T19:05:07 |
186 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ How do jewellers capture every last particle of gold dust? (2017) (ft.com)
Today in the world of absurdly expensive hobbies, the Financial Times educates the nouveau riche on how to scrape up every shimmering speck of gold dust like some Dickensian urchin. As always, the elite's pursuit of opulence knows no bounds, exploring the thrilling process of capturing these elusive particles with the gusto of an overzealous vacuum cleaner. In the comments, armchair economists and weekend metallurgists debate the finer points of maximizing returns on gold dust, while one brave soul dares to assert that "gold dust is just fancy dirt." Stay tuned, folks, as we next explore which Swiss bank vault is best for storing your priceless collection of pixie dust. 😂
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42 points by EndXA
2024-07-15T22:48:24 |
24 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ KUtrace: Low-overhead Linux kernel tracing facility (github.com/dicksites)
KUtrace, the latest attempt by github.com/dicksites to let everyone pretend they’re Linux kernel experts, provides a "low-overhead" tracing tool which most will use to trace why their script kiddie hacks still can’t beat a simple CAPTCHA. The excitement is palpable in the comments, where a circus of wannabe Torvalds argue passionately about the virtues of adding overhead to reduce overhead. Meanwhile, the creator assures us they're "taking feedback seriously", which is tech bro for "please don't hurt my feelings on Twitter." As if reading your half-baked GitHub issues was ever going to improve anything except our collective need for amusement. 🤓
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28 points by luu
2024-07-15T22:41:50 |
4 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Amiga 2000 – Codename: Tesseract (2021) (retrohax.net)
Today on the *pinnacle* of digital archaeology, a deceased website reanimates an article about the Amiga 2000, affectionately known as "Tesseract" by probably two people. Inside, vintage computing enthusiasts engage in the ritual dance of nostalgia, passionately arguing over which ancient floppy has more mold. Wild speculations about why the Amiga failed in a world that clearly deserved it more than PCs abound, alongside declarations of love undimmed by the cruel march of time or common sense. Meanwhile, in the comments, vintage battles are fought with more vigor than the AI-upscaled images the article proudly presents. 😂💾 Who could forget the sweet scent of burning dust from a 30-year-old transformer? Truly, a day to remember.
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41 points by z303
2024-07-15T20:34:12 |
6 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ The rise of the camera launched a fight to protect Gilded Age privacy (smithsonianmag.com)
In an era where the most pressing concern was whether the silver polish contained an adequate amount of actual silver, the advent of the camera stirs unprecedented paranoia among the Gilded Age elite. Fearing that candid snaps of their opulent, tax-evading lives might escape into the public domain, society's "finest" rally for what they call "privacy rights." Commenters, wrestling their own unwashed curtains aside to peek at such old-world problems, furiously tap out reminders on their smudged screens that *someone on the internet is wrong*. The spectacle unfolds as these defenders of digital fortitude paraphrase Orwell so poorly one might suspect a mass conspiracy to have never actually read him.
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141 points by nickwritesit
2024-07-15T15:04:05 |
85 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Show QN: Horizon – Private alternative to Imgur (horizon.pics)
On Hacker News, the perennial quest to "de-Google" the internet births yet another luminary: Horizon, a "private" alternative to Imgur that promises to save us from our unyielded bouts of image-sharing paranoia. The commenters, tripping over themselves in technical bravado, misspell basic words while debating the existential merits of yet another service that stores cat pictures. Is it more private? Who knows! But it definitely has a dark mode, and that's nearly the same thing. Let the mass exodus to Obscurity commence! 🎉
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22 points by sweca
2024-07-15T22:45:36 |
13 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ L402: The Missing Piece in the Internet's Payment Infrastructure (l402.org)
In a majestic sweep of nerd-heroism, the internet's galactic brains have unleashed L402: a protocol destined to become the digital bouncer for content no one knew they needed to pay for. In utilizing the rarely-seen HTTP 402 error, L402 pioneers boldly assert that the final frontier of the internet isn't free content or privacy, but paywalls as pervasive as cat videos. Comment sections, brimming with the usual tech propheteers, clash in epic battles of one-upmanship about blockchain's potential to save the digital world by making everyone pay for everything. Because, obviously, what the internet was really missing was more ways to nickel and dime its users.
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41 points by janandonly
2024-07-15T21:49:15 |
36 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ The Open Collaboration Tools (typefox.io)
Ah, the latest digital panacea from typefox.io promises to revolutionize "remote teamwork" by letting you live-share the existential dread of staring at endless code. Because what could possibly enhance productivity more than your teammates watching, in real time, as you attempt three dozen times to correctly type a regular expression? Commenters are tripping over themselves to herald this as the second coming of Agile, debating passionately whether this tool will save 15% or a full 20% of their day, previously wasted on old-fashioned inefficiencies like emails, sanity, or bathroom breaks. One can only hope the next iteration includes live-shared coffee breaks and synchronized sighing.
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71 points by todsacerdoti
2024-07-15T19:12:13 |
6 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Quartz: A Deterministic Time Testing Library for Go (coder.com)
Quartz, the latest fly in the unguent of Go programming, promises to save developers from the perils of time-dependent testing, because nothing spells fun like deterministic mock environments for temporal logic. In keeping with tradition, coder.com celebrators rejoice, having found yet another way to avoid doing any real coding, while debating the esoteric virtues of Quartz versus just using a sundial. Meanwhile, readers of the comments section can find all the tech jousting they crave, with snippets of wisdom so detached from reality, one might think they've stumbled into a flat earth convention. Truly, Quartz not only mocks time, but also anyone trying to make sense of these comments.
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68 points by ammario
2024-07-15T18:30:05 |
14 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Researchers: Weak Security Defaults Enabled Squarespace Domains Hijacks (krebsonsecurity.com)
Title: How Low Can Your Security Go? The Squarespace Saga
In a dazzling display of "security through obscurity", Squarespace demonstrates its revolutionary approach to customer disservice. By seamlessly merging negligence with ineptitude, they've allowed the hijacking of domains with the comedic simplicity of entering an email address. Who knew cybersecurity could be reduced to a prize grab at a third-rate carnival? Meanwhile, the comment section buzzes with armchair cybersecurity experts, each more eager than the last to explain how they could've prevented this with *just* two lines of code and a sprinkle of magic sysadmin dust. 🎪💻🔓
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108 points by todsacerdoti
2024-07-15T15:25:53 |
52 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Transformer Layers as Painters (arxiv.org)
On arxiv.org, a brave soul attempts to deep dive into how transformer layers could be the Picassos of the digital age, dubbing their paper "Transformer Layers as Painters." Spoiler: it’s not exactly a Mona Lisa. The abstract reads like a desperate cry for help masked as advanced scholarship. Meanwhile, in the comments, a delightful congregation of armchair Einsteins and Beethovens emerge from the woodwork, each furiously typing to prove they misunderstood the paper more uniquely than the last. 🎨🤖
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49 points by fzliu
2024-07-15T18:14:29 |
9 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Samsung's abandoned NX cameras can be brought online with a $20 LTE stick (op-co.de)
In a stunning development that could only be described as *groundbreaking*, it turns out that dumping a $20 LTE stick into the forgotten abyss of Samsung's ill-fated NX cameras gives them a pulse. Tech enthusiasts, having exhausted all forums lamenting their poor life choices, have now erupted in joyous ASCII across the comment sections. 💬 Watch them feverishly debate whether achieving rudimentary online functionality is *actually* a technological resurrection or just another day wasted in the basement.
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159 points by ge0rg
2024-07-10T12:08:09 |
158 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ The Mafia of Pharma Pricing (thebignewsletter.com)
In today’s groundbreaking edition of *The Big Newsletter*, we delve into "The Mafia of Pharma. Pricing," revealing - *shockingly* - that drugs are expensive, and Big Pharma might just be greedier than your average bear. Our intrepid subscribers shower the comments section with their Nobel-worthy solutions like "make everything free" and shockingly insightful queries such as "why can't it be cheaper?" Meanwhile, keyboard economists battle over the complexities of drug pricing with the dexterity of toddlers fighting over the last cookie. Stay tuned for next week’s shocking exposé: "Water is Wet." 🙄
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83 points by foolswisdom
2024-07-15T21:20:39 |
18 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Shapeshift: Semantically map JSON objects using key-level vector embeddings (github.com/rectanglehq)
At rectanglehq, a team of basement-dwelling code monkeys boldly asserts to have reinvented the wheel, but with more buzzwords. Their "innovative" tool, Shapeshift, claims to transform JSON objects by using what they call *key-level vector embeddings*—because obfuscating simple processes makes them sound smart and employable. The handful of GitHub commenters, clearly with too much time on their hands, vacillate between calling this the next big thing in data manipulation and subtly suggesting that it might just be a glorified find-and-replace function dressed in jargon. Meanwhile, the developers maintain they read every nonsensical praise and simplistic complaint with utmost sincerity - because apparently, feedback is now more valuable than functionality. 🙄
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14 points by marvinkennis
2024-07-15T22:47:23 |
5 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Seiko Originals: The UC-2000, A Smartwatch from 1984 (namokimods.com)
In an exhilarating display of vintage flexing, namokimods.com brings us a retrospective that nobody asked for on the Seiko UC-2000, a "smartwatch" from an era where the term 'smart' generously meant "has a calculator." As the site trumpets a *spectacular* 15% OFF on bundles that you'll never use, readers dive back to 1984 to marvel at a watch that couldn’t even tweet. The comment section, a tragicomic arena of misplaced nostalgia, sees aging technophiles type teary emojis over their lost youth and the days when pressing a button on a watch was the pinnacle of geekery. Here's to remembering old tech with a fervor that would be better spent on anything else, really.
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26 points by segasaturn
2024-07-15T17:30:40 |
6 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Immunotherapy Is Changing Cancer Treatment Forever (nymag.com)
In a desperate bid to remind us that they still matter, nymag.com publishes a breathless paean to immunotherapy, the latest fad promising to revolutionize cancer treatment forever—again. As usual, the comment section is a symposium of armchair oncologists and Google MDs, each with their own fiercely anecdotal evidence suggesting they could cure cancer with essential oils and positive thinking if only given a chance. None of these would-be medical savants seem to grasp the complexities of oncological science, but they're more than ready to share their qualifications from the University of Facebook. 🙄🎓
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191 points by bookofjoe
2024-07-15T17:41:54 |
106 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ What Happened to Ancient Megafauna? (nautil.us)
In an outstanding display of journalistic cliché, Nautil.us baffles the masses with "What Happened to Ancient Megafauna?", merging *art* 🎨 and *science* 🔬 in a concoction as confusing as it sounds. Readers quickly transform into amateur paleontologists, dishing out theories ranging from climate change to aliens with the confidence of a toddler in a tiara. Commentary is peppered with misplaced enthusiasm for reviving mammoths, as if the backyards of suburbia are primed for Pleistocene petting zoos. Clearly, the extinction event we should be studying is the demise of common sense.
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4 points by jnord
2024-07-15T22:51:56 |
0 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Analog GPS: Scrolling Wrist and Car-Mounted Maps of the Roaring 20s and 30s (99percentinvisible.org)
In a stunning display of technological nostalgia, 99percentinvisible.org serves up a hearty slice of "innovation" with its ode to the gloriously outdated analog GPS systems of the '20s and '30s. Watch in amazement as history buffs and tech enthusiasts alike wax poetic over the intricate dance of scrolling maps, mounted on everything from your granddad's jalopy to his jaunty wrist. The commentary section becomes a battleground where people, undoubtedly lost without their digital overlords, argue the superiority of paper, string, and sheer guesswork over modern GPS. 😂 Maps scroll, wheels turn, and somewhere, a pigeon carrying directions is eternally grateful it's not born yet.
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9 points by zeristor
2024-07-13T08:37:51 |
0 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Tlsd: Generate (message) sequence diagrams from TLA+ state traces (github.com/eras)
Welcome to the latest GitHub repository where overengineering meets desperate need for approval. The creator of Tlsd has bestowed upon the masses a tool to transform TLA+ state traces into sequence diagrams, because clearly, what the world lacks is more diagrams. The README assures us they read every piece of feedback, highlighting a deep-seated need for validation unprecedented in the history of text-based diagramming tools. Commenters leap into action, tripping over themselves to suggest features, report non-existent bugs, and one-up each other in a dazzling display of missing the point. Truly, a spectacle of modern software development. 💫📊🙄
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26 points by todsacerdoti
2024-07-15T16:33:15 |
0 comments
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