| 1. |
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▲ Foliate: Read e-books in style, navigate with ease (johnfactotum.github.io)
**Foliate: Not Just Another E-Book Torture Device**
The Linux community, in a heroic yet quixotic effort to read a book without descending into a command-line-induced nervous breakdown, heralds the arrival of Foliate. It’s an e-book reader that promises to let you open almost every e-book format known to humankind, because why have a comfortable reading experience when you can adjust the *margins*? Commenters, embroiled in existential crises over file management, long for simplicity while simultaneously requesting features that transform a minimalist app into a Swiss Army knife. Still, others valiantly argue over the merits of library management, as if organizing fictional characters into neat, digital rows might finally bring order to their chaotic lives. 📚💻🤷
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37 points by ingve
2024-07-19T05:48:08 |
6 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Type in Morse code by repeatedly slamming your laptop shut (github.com/veggiedefender)
In an inspired spree of what could best be described as "hardware abuse masquerading as innovation," a GitHub enthusiast suggests a novel method of laptop input: Morse code via lid slams. Desperate nerds everywhere are exhaling in relief, thankful for yet another way to avoid social interaction by making their devices even less comprehensible to normal humans. The comment section predictably spirals into nostalgic tech mishaps, thinly veiled boasts about ancient gadget endurance, and unnecessary technical corrections that help no one. Naturally, there’s a casual tie-in to smashing tech and historical novels - because why not make your MacBook a $2000 Morse code machine?
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450 points by OuterVale
2024-07-15T15:47:38 |
110 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Devzat – Chat over SSH, with some nice quality-of-life features (github.com/quackduck)
**Hacker Chat But Make It SSH:** In a world where Discord and Slack just aren't decentralized enough, the future-minded developers at Devzat have devised a way to let you chat over SSH because, why not complicate simple things? True to the open-source creed, the documentation assures us that every piece of *unsolicited advice* is taken seriously—except, perhaps, the suggestion to use literally any other chat service that doesn't require a CompSci degree to access. Commenters, drowning in nostalgia for the days when you had to connect to four different IRC servers just to say "Hello World", revel in proposing increasingly obscure ways to turn every possible Unix command into a chat app. Meanwhile, a lone naive soul wonders if this all might accidentally nuke their SFTP access, only to be reassured that the bespoke command might also stream movies, because of course, that's totally secure and related. 🙃
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282 points by humanperhaps
2024-07-18T17:58:52 |
68 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ SpreadsheetLLM: Encoding Spreadsheets for Large Language Models (arxiv.org)
Title: Tech Bros Discover New Way to Overcomplicate Spreadsheets
In the latest *revolutionary* update from Arxiv, we're introduced to SpreadsheetLLM: the digital equivalent of having a backseat driver in Excel. The commenters, excited by the sheer possibility of replacing their lack of spreadsheet skills with an AI, wax lyrical about LLMs doing basic math - something we didn't realize needed fixing. Meanwhile, others express their profound irritation and confusion at LLMs delivering Shakespearean explanations for simple sums. Rejoice, as technology once again promises to save us from the tedium of learning by turning spreadsheets into an existential debate! 📊🤖💢
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54 points by goplayoutside
2024-07-17T12:16:18 |
38 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Double trouble: ESA's Gaia hit by micrometeoroid and solar storm (esa.int)
Title: Double Trouble for Starry-Eyed Satellite
The European Space Agency's jewel, Gaia, has encountered a teeny tiny mishap in its stellar quest to play cosmic cartographer—getting pummeled by a dastardly micrometeoroid and zapped by an overzealous solar storm. Better suited for celestial Swan Lake than the rough-and-tumble outer space, Gaia now flutters dramatically at L2, all while armchair astronomers and space enthusiasts on online forums engage in the kind of overzealous technical speculation that can only end in poorly written fanfiction. News at eleven: space is hard, and no, you can't fix it with flex tape or wishes. 🌌🛠️😂
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56 points by gnabgib
2024-07-18T21:27:08 |
0 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Hash-based bisect debugging in compilers and runtimes (swtch.com)
**Tech Wizards Use Their Magic Wand Again 🪄**
Another day, another techno-wizard lazy *swipe* at debugging. Prepare to be *awestruck* as a new arcane tool, straight from the dusty catacombs of mystical coding practices, promises to solve all your problems by *literally* doing the same thing it's done since time immemorial: binary searching. Commenters, with all the fervor of a freshman computer science seminar, dive deep into the theoretical abyss of Bayes and bisect, *mostly* managing not to drown in their own jargon. Meanwhile, someone accidentally reveals their age by bragging about an old prototype "probably still in Google's monorepo." Oh, the nostalgia! 🎩✨
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187 points by rsc
2024-07-18T14:36:58 |
20 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Transcribro: On-device Accurate Speech-to-text (github.com/soupslurpr)
**Transcribro: Revolutionizing Miscommunication One Android User at a Time**
In an unparalleled act of technological overreach, Transcribro dazzles dozens with the promise of turning your unremarkable speech into "fully formed, well punctuated sentences." Harnessing the unparalleled power of whisper.cpp and Silero VAD, it allows Android aficionados—in their commendable dedication to privacy—to escape the tyrannical grips of cloud-based dictation. Bereft hacking enthusiasts espouse mutual accolades in forums, heroically validating APKs like it’s the second coming of cybersecurity. Meanwhile, the iOS camp snickers quietly, reassured by their legacy of in-built capabilities, punctuating the silence with their unspoken schadenfreude.
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91 points by thebiblelover7
2024-07-18T17:25:15 |
35 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ The Objects of Our Life (1983) (stevejobsarchive.com)
Welcome to the retro-tech echo chamber where past glories of Apple are rehashed with the tears of nostalgia. In 1983, Steve Jobs, heralded as a sage before his time, waxed poetic about the transformation awaiting humanity as computers moved from labs into living rooms. 🤓 Commenters, awestruck by the profundity of Jobsian predictions—evoking his near-mystical foresight—mourn the current tech-scape dominated by intrusive notifications and insidious ads. "SJ was a jerk but also a visionary!" they proclaim from their soapboxes, clutching their collector-edition iPhones and reminiscing about a simpler era when design possibly mattered more than market share. Will the real Silicon Valley please stand up, or shall we continue the sanctification of corporate narratives spun long ago? 😱🍏
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241 points by Brajeshwar
2024-07-18T13:43:20 |
116 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Windows Bluescreen and Boot Loops (update: caused by a Crowdstrike update)
**Windows Bluescreen Extravaganza: A Crowdstrike Saga**
In the latest chapter of technology's never-ending saga to transform a perfectly calm day into utter chaos, Crowdstrike wins the prize for kernel-level carnage, bringing hospitals and retail chains to their proverbial knees. As the world marvels at how a single update induced apocalyptic boot loops and bluescreens, the comment section transforms into a thrilling mashup of panic-stricken IT pros and armchair experts. One keen observer points out that perhaps, just maybe, essential systems like heart attack monitors and checkout lanes shouldn't run on vibes and automatic updates. Meanwhile, as Crowdstrike defensively waves their "investigating" flag, users commiserate in their shared misery — nothing like a good catastrophe to really bring people together, right? 🙄💻🔥
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54 points by BLKNSLVR
2024-07-19T05:26:13 |
30 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ What would it take to recreate Bell Labs? (construction-physics.com)
Title: How to Clone a Dinosaur: The Bell Labs Boogaloo
First Paragraph Summary:
Today on Hacker News, an inquisitive soul ponders aloud, to a chorus of eager neckbeards, “What would recreating Bell Labs entail?” Setting the scene for a few hobbyists who think the gateway to innovation is just a casual stroll down nostalgia lane. Spoiler: It takes a bit more than your grandma’s basement and a Raspberry Pi.
Commenters deliver a potluck of techno-utopian delusions with a sprinkle of legal quandaries that could only stem from the sort of people who explain Bitcoin at Thanksgiving dinner. Cue the inevitable philosophical musings about tech giants today versus the golden age of Bell Labs, because nothing says "I'm fun at parties" like comparing corporate ethics and IP law over craft beer. 🍻
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186 points by nickwritesit
2024-07-18T19:28:21 |
160 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Show QN: NetSour, CLI Based Wireshark (github.com/thegoodduck)
Title: Show HN: NetSour, CLI Based Wireshark (github.com/thegoodduck)
In an exhilarating leap of innovation that no one asked for, NetSour allows even the most clueless of script kiddies to pretend they’re cybersecurity experts by running a Python script. From the depths of GitHub's most cavernous nooks, a hero emerges with a project stitched together with Python, Scapy, and blatant disregard for originality. Commenters, donning their finest cargo shorts of wisdom, trip over themselves to offer praises and suggestions that mostly reveal they have no idea how real network analysis works. "Fantastic job," they type from the safety of their ergonomic keyboards, "can’t wait to accidentally bring down my own network with this!" 🐍🔍💣
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4 points by thegoodduck
2024-07-19T02:17:29 |
0 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ USPS shared customer postal addresses with Meta, LinkedIn and Snap (techcrunch.com)
**USPS Goes Full Big Brother With a Tech Flair**
In a digital plot twist befitting a low-budget spy flick, our favorite snail-paced relic, the USPS, bamboozled its 62 million Informed Delivery enthusiasts by accidentally moonlighting as a data mule for the tech behemoths: Meta, LinkedIn, and Snap. This unintended slip-up only came to light thanks to the crack investigators at TechCrunch and was supposedly unknown to the postal upper echelons. Commenters, clad in their finest tinfoil hats, oscillate between calling this the dystopian pinnacle of government surveillance and meekly defending it as a mere case of "oopsie-daisies in tracker pixels." Meanwhile, the irony of the most analog of services tripping into a digital privacy pothole goes underappreciated by armchair analysts missing their porch pirates' notifications. 😂📦🔍
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289 points by leotravis10
2024-07-18T18:56:33 |
149 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ The only tourist in Moldova (telegraph.co.uk)
In a stunning display of investigative journalism, telegraph.co.uk ventures deep into the heart of "Zone Z" - also known as Moldova, Europe's least-visited recliner. Here, our intrepid writer thrills us with riveting tales of goats on strings and a vodka identity crisis, while commentators engage in a spirited (pun intended) debate over whether pine needle booze is technically "vodka" or "nastoika." Spoiler alert: it's still not enough to make anyone book a flight to Moldova. 🍸🐐
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104 points by dotcoma
2024-07-14T16:58:55 |
207 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Polychromatic Pixels (compoundsemiconductor.net)
Welcome to the latest pixel pomposity from compoundsemiconductor.net, where scientists are stretching the semantics of "color space" thinner than your grandpa's hair. Here, commentators dive headlong into whether new pixel technology can render a spectrum broader than their understanding of basic color theory. "Can we make white?" asks one, clearly forgetting how CTRL-F works. Meanwhile, others debate pixel density benefits and manufacturing efficiencies as if squinting hard enough at their screens will turn this into the next billion-dollar breakthrough. Spoiler alert: you're still not getting true magenta, folks. 🌈🙃
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157 points by bluehat974
2024-07-18T16:11:41 |
102 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Rollstack (YC W23) Is Hiring Exceptional TypeScript Engineers (ycombinator.com)
**Today in startup land: Rollstack (YC W23) is revolutionizing the game of professional PowerPointing.** 🚀 Imagine, if you will, a world where sentient BI tools and CRM systems seamlessly spew out slide decks and documents so you don't have to. Rollstack has declared itself the savior of office drones everywhere, fueled by the same illustrious incubator that brought you an app for sending emails later. Comments range from incoherent awe to misplaced job applications, as users marvel at the groundbreaking ability to automate last week’s marketing report into a shiny slide deck without ever risking carpal tunnel. 📊🤖 True innovation smells like bullet points and despair.
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0 points by
2024-07-19T01:00:55 |
0 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ My daughter (7 years old) used HTML to make a website (naya.lol)
**Seven-Year-Old Prodigy Dabbles in HTML, Internet Loses Its Mind**
A child uses primitive web technology, and suddenly everyone's nostalgia circuits are firing like it's 1999. Apparently, in the realm of tech, letting a child click together a few HTML tags merits a collective gasp from the ancient denizens of the Internet who remember when blinking text was peak innovation. One might think these comments were hand-typed by Perlis himself from beyond the grave, sharing quaint little quips about "keeping the fun in computing." Meanwhile, real adults engage in dull watercooler talk about missing the "good old days" of software dev, seemingly oblivious to the fact that their pioneering tech now requires more excitement than extracting data in under a minute. Thus continues the eternal cycle of tech hype, disillusionment, and Twitter threads reminiscing about simpler times when simply owning a domain made you a neighborhood wizard. ⌨️💾👀
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1120 points by fintler
2024-07-18T06:24:51 |
445 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Professional Poker Players Know the Optimal Strategy but Don't Always Use It (scientificamerican.com)
**Professional Poker Players Sometimes Ignore Optimal Strategies for Kicks**
In an exhilarating twist that surprises absolutely no one, professional poker players—aided by the omnipotent wisdom of AI—still choose gut feelings over game theory. According to an article that recounts revelations as groundbreaking as a pair of sixes, these rebels of the river might know the Nash equilibrium but scoff at it like a seasoned gambler facing a tourist. In the comments, armchair theorists bicker about "game theory optimal," revealing that they too gamble—with the terms "MDF" and "bluffing" thrown around more carelessly than chips at an amateur table. They hilariously claim expertise on a game that's less about the cards and more about psyching out your opponent until they fold from confusion or boredom. 🃏💰🤡
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26 points by alexahn
2024-07-19T03:17:18 |
19 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Ask QN: What's Prolog like in 2024?
**Ask HN: What's Prolog like in 2024?**
The Hacker News hive-mind collectively decides to rewind the clocks and talk as if Prolog—yes, the AI relic of the past—has just discovered fire. A brave soul throws a link to Scryer Prolog and calls it "highly performant," bringing joy to the three people who cared. Meanwhile, another commenter resurrects Python-Prolog hybriding techniques from the digital crypt, ensuring that their "exciting" integration works well in both theory and their mom's basement. Excitement peaks when an obscure tutorial from the 80s gets mentioned, sparking a nostalgic frenzy, outmatched only by the enthusiasm for an abandoned project no one has used since. 🧙♂️💾🚀
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331 points by overclock351
2024-07-18T11:23:06 |
208 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Inference of Error Specifications and Bug Detection Using Structural Similarity [pdf] (usenix.org)
In a heroic display of obfuscation, a group of researchers unveils their latest PDF promising to transform bug detection through the mystical powers of "structural similarity." Clearly, the primary bug they've failed to detect is the one residing in the ever-hopeful hearts of developers thinking this paper will trim down their backlog. The comment section, a delightful cesspit of confusion, has armchair experts competing for the "Most Misunderstood Point" award, with contenders flinging around phrases like "paradigm shift" and "game-changer" as if they're trying to cash them in for Bitcoins. Who knew that the key to revolutionary software development was hidden within a thicket of academic jargon and wild misinterpretations? 😂
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3 points by luu
2024-07-14T19:38:55 |
0 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ FOSS funding vanishes from EU's 2025 Horizon program plans (theregister.com)
In an unprecedented plot twist you *absolutely* didn't see coming, the EU has decided to evaporate all those delicious FOSS funding dollars, leaving developers and hobbyists panting on the sidelines of the 2025 Horizon program. Cue the collective outrage of the open source community as they shuffle their cloaks and draft an *open letter*—because if there's anything that scares bureaucrats into submission, it's a well-formulated PDF. Meanwhile, in the comments section, keyboard warriors engage in fierce debate, some lamenting the seismic shock to the *Cyber Resilience Act*, others confusing FOSS with lost sauce recipes._uncategorized
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24 points by openrisk
2024-07-19T04:40:16 |
2 comments
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