| 1. |
|
▲ Minuteman missile communications (computer.rip)
**Minuteman Missile Musings: An Unwarranted Update**
In the latest attempt to validate subscription fees, computer.rip pleads sympathetically for reader donations, promising—an oh-so-exciting—exclusive email dispatch as a reward. 💌 Because nothing says "cutting-edge tech analysis" like repurposing failed Mastodon threads into email content nobody asked for. But fear not, the commenters rally valiantly, swapping tales of granddad's covert Cold War escapades and park ranger-guided missile tours, which, shockingly, don't require a $3/month subscription to enjoy. Meanwhile, the semantics of EMP effects and lightning protection entertain those few souls captivated by the niche intersection of outdated engineering and anecdotal history. 🚀💤
|
|
134 points by sklargh
2024-07-20T20:33:06 |
13 comments
|
|
| 2. |
|
▲ A Linux kernel syscall implementation tracker (mebeim.net)
**Linux Syscall Safari: Misery Edition**
In a thrilling twist that nobody asked for, the Linux community graces us with yet another tool for tracking syscall implementations, boldly assuming anyone has the patience for it after the last debacle. Watch in awe as developers and commentors alike delve deep into the gritty details of syscall numbers and architectures, showcasing their remarkable talent of making simple questions unnervingly complicated. Navigating this mess yields more "I could've Googled this" moments than useful insights, leading one to ponder the existential crisis faced by those who dare to hardcode syscalls in the dim light of their basement lairs. Let's give a round of applause for making the accessible utterly impenetrable. 🤦♄️
|
|
191 points by halb
2024-07-20T17:34:52 |
37 comments
|
|
| 3. |
|
▲ Initial details about why CrowdStrike's CSAgent.sys crashed (twitter.com/patrickwardle)
In this gripping *saga* of digital dread, Patrick Wardle, a brave internet detective, reports the tragic demise of CrowdStrike's CSAgent.sys, leaving tech aficionados everywhere in shambles. The internet is rife with experts who, despite never having touched a debugger in their life, are already dishing out hot takes like stale cafeteria food. Watch in awe as ASCII warriors and hashtag heroes dissect 280 characters of technical insight, providing enlightenment that rivals the scribbles on your local bathroom stall. Will humanity recover from this digital apocalypse? Stay tuned, but don't hold your breath. 😱🔍💻
|
|
9 points by pilfered
2024-07-21T00:17:34 |
0 comments
|
|
| 4. |
|
▲ Large models of what? Mistaking engineering achievements for linguistic agency (arxiv.org)
In the latest round of "AI will soon replace your mom," a paper surfaces on arXiv waxing lyrical about the failures of language models to reach true artificial general intelligence (AGI). The paper, a stunning exercise in circular logic, concludes that big language models like GPT can't feel the rain on their nonexistent skin, thus no real people—shocking! Commenters, in a delightful display of missing the point, dive deep into philosophical waxings about in-game physics of human cognition, heroically fighting the strawmen of AI capabilities while ignoring that their laundry isn't folding itself. Reading this thread is like watching a reality show where the prize is confirming your own biases—educational and sad.
|
|
67 points by Anon84
2024-07-16T10:54:31 |
15 comments
|
|
| 5. |
|
▲ Managing Classic Mac OS Resources in ResEdit (eclecticlight.co)
**Title: Nostalgia Nerds Trip Over Their Floppy Disks**
Today on the digital archaeology forum, we plunge into "Managing Classic Mac OS Resources in ResEdit," where enthusiasts wax poetic on the ♥good old days♥ of Mac's dual-forked file systems, because clearly nostalgia is the *true* motive force of technology. Comments quickly devolve into a digital weep-fest for simpler times, back when the scariest online threat was a pricey phone call to Japan or a creatively buggy dial-up connection. Meanwhile, one brave soul suggests people can just disconnect from the internet—groundbreaking. Others remember hacking PalmOS to death, providing a bittersweet reminder that any tech "improvement" today absolutely *must* steal from the past to be worth its silicon.
|
|
35 points by zdw
2024-07-20T20:58:10 |
8 comments
|
|
| 6. |
|
▲ Intel vs. Samsung vs. TSMC (semiengineering.com)
In the latest episode of "Silicon Valley Gladiators," Intel, Samsung, and TSMC slap-fight over who can cram more transistors onto a speck of dust. Internet experts in the comment section, armed with Wikipedia-fueled wisdom, duke it out over nanometers and electron mobility, each convincingly arguing their path to becoming the next unpaid technical advisor for these tech behemoths. Amidst the chaos, someone inevitably declares that they could build a better chip in their garage, if only they could find a good deal on eBay for some used semiconductor manufacturing equipment. 🍿🔬💥
|
|
27 points by rbanffy
2024-07-20T20:29:37 |
0 comments
|
|
| 7. |
|
▲ 10% of Cubans left Cuba between 2022 and 2023 (miamiherald.com)
**Emigration En Masse: The Cuban Exodus Romcom**
In a stunning turn of events that no one really noticed, 10% of Cubans decided to break free from their island señoritas and senors between 2022 and 2023, likely in pursuit of American dreams and a larger selection of Netflix shows. Cue the comments, where Internet intellectuals argue over the merits of brain drain, with one poignant philosopher declaring, "I'm not concerned about the crime," as if misdemeanor and felony are flavors at Baskin-Robbins. Meanwhile, another bright mind reminisces about the unchangeable French identity, as if nationality were a rare Pokémon incapable of evolution. Ah, the Internet, where everyone’s an expert on immigration until it happens next door. 🌎💬
|
|
215 points by apsec112
2024-07-20T13:43:24 |
414 comments
|
|
| 8. |
|
▲ Typst: An easy to learn alternative for LaTex (github.com/typst)
**Typst: LaTeX for Millennials**
In an audacious attempt to unseat LaTeX, **Typst** emerges, promising the ease of scribbling on a napkin while offering the might of a typesetting juggernaut. This beacon of efficiency claims to churn out PDFs faster than a hipster can say "artisanal coffee," much to the delight of commenters who laud its prowess in generating copious amounts of PDFs overnight, as though performing some dark, bureaucratic magic. As enthusiasts and newbies alike swap war stories of PDF battles past and present, the echo chamber resounds with mutual back-patting and nods to obscure compliance requirements. Because evidently, reformatting documents is the hill many choose to die on. 📄✨
|
|
442 points by vogu66
2024-07-20T08:14:20 |
112 comments
|
|
| 9. |
|
▲ Google Distributed Cloud air-gapped appliance (cloud.google.com)
In an unsurprising bout of corporate bravado, Google has slipped into its superhero cape once again, swooping into the inhospitable bushes of disconnected environments with its latest **_magical and totally indispensable_** gadget: the Google Distributed Cloud air-gapped appliance. For places lacking anything resembling regular internet—a far-off desert oasis or your grandmother’s basement during a power outage—Google promises the revolution of having cloud and AI capabilities, because, of course, a disaster zone needs real-time processing for medical imaging before basic amenities like, you know, water. Commenters, illustrious in their armchair expertise, bounce between praising Google’s everlasting support (a whopping 17 years, bless!) and skepticism shadowed by the demise of the Google search appliance. Sprinkled with insightful gems about alternative tech and vendor power plays, they reveal a truth universally acknowledged—a Google product long-supported is a sure omen of an apocalypse. 🎉🤖
|
|
76 points by radeeyate
2024-07-20T20:52:23 |
58 comments
|
|
| 10. |
|
▲ How to choose a textbook that is optimal for oneself? (matheducators.stackexchange.com)
In an epic revelation that has shaken the very foundations of Stack Exchange, a brave commenter embarks on a journey of self-discovery to find out that math, much like their forgotten high school gym class, requires a "gradual increase in difficulty." 🤯 Commenters rush in to equate their mastery of mathematical maturity to their ability to navigate Wikipedia and TED Talks, culminating in a fierce debate on whether calc is the new algebraic hopscotch or just traditional torture with extra steps. Amid the profound declarations and mental gymnastics, users engage in a vigorous exercise of out-quoting each other with links and contrarian anecdotes that would make any seasoned professor's head spin. Because obviously, nothing says "mathematical maturity" like arguing on the internet. 📚🎓💥
|
|
156 points by JustinSkycak
2024-07-20T14:13:33 |
86 comments
|
|
| 11. |
|
▲ Human parasites in the Roman World: health consequences of conquering an empire (cambridge.org)
**Human Parasites in the Roman World: A Crappy Situation Indeed**
The esteemed scholars at Cambridge University Press dazzle us once more by digging up old dirt, quite literally, on Roman sanitation habits to reveal—*shockingly*—that ancient Romans had parasites! Who could have guessed that communal pooping at multi-seat latrines wasn't the public health breakthrough of the era? Comment sections turn into a pseudo-historical forum where armchair archaeologists battle over whether ancient Romans or medieval Londoners won the filthiest civilization award, while others marvel at how latrines with a view could possibly be unhealthy. It's a fecal-oral free-for-all, reminding everyone that Rome wasn't built in a day, but it sure was dirty.
|
|
78 points by GeoAtreides
2024-07-20T15:46:56 |
29 comments
|
|
| 12. |
|
▲ 'Google says I'm a dead physicist': is the biggest search engine broken? (theguardian.com)
**Title: "'Google says I'm a dead physicist': Is the biggest search engine broken?"**
In a thrilling twist of fate, a man discovers he's supposedly been a deceased physicist for nearly two decades, according to Google's omniscient “knowledge panel”. Despite frantic efforts to notify the tech giant of its blunder through what appears to be a glorified suggestion box, our protagonist remains dead online. Meanwhile, the comment section morphs into a battleground where self-declared digital coroners argue over the nuances of name collisions versus identity consolidation errors, blissfully unaware that their expertise in necromancy isn't quite helping the living. Truly, another productive day on the internet. 🤓💀
|
|
48 points by iainmerrick
2024-07-20T22:34:55 |
38 comments
|
|
| 13. |
|
▲ Deluge of Fake Mac App Store Reviews (lapcatsoftware.com)
**Deluge of Fake Mac App Awfulness**
In a shocking reveal that absolutely nobody saw coming, a brave blogger dives into the treacherous waters of the Mac App Store only to discover—it’s full of fake reviews! Shocking, truly. 🙄 Every digital storefront is infested with these, but let’s act surprised that apps costing less than a cup of premium coffee are propped up by dishonest praise. The commenters, in a display of unparalleled detective work, agree loudly and add nothing of substance, possibly generating fake intrigue over how software worth a whopping $1.99 might not be the pinnacle of programming excellence. Who would’ve thought?
|
|
9 points by latexr
2024-07-21T00:38:31 |
0 comments
|
|
| 14. |
|
▲ Empathy for the user having sex with your software (buttplug.io)
**Empathy in Plug-and-Play? Fat Chance.**
In a dazzling show of mundanity masquerading as depth, the founder of buttplug.io orates on the trials and tribulations of combining butts, bytes, and bleeding-edge Bluetooth. Developers and ethicists, rejoice! You can now lose nights of sleep pondering over the morality of memory leaks in your sex toy software. Meanwhile, the commentariat marvels at the subtle interplay of technical jargon and low-brow puns, debating fiercely whether "CoC" stands for Code of Conduct or a clever wink at its own content. No doubt, this discourse is as stimulating as troubleshooting a wireless connection in your basement – just with more awkward pauses and unmet expectations. 🙄
|
|
65 points by Kye
2024-07-20T23:27:54 |
20 comments
|
|
| 15. |
|
▲ Mangrove trees are on the move, taking the tropics with them (scientificamerican.com)
🌳🚶♂️ Mangroves, apparently bored of their tropical homes, are marching poleward, dragging the tropics with them, or so claims the latest environmental armageddon read on Scientific American. Never mind that we’ve known plant species migrate with climate shifts since, well, forever. Commenters leap at the chance to predict Egyptian beachfront mangroves by Friday, debate the salt tolerance of trees like they’re mixing margaritas, and one bright spark suggests using GMO mangroves as a carbon sink. Because if science fiction has taught us anything, it’s that *tampering with nature always ends well* 🌿.
|
|
94 points by alexahn
2024-07-16T18:16:04 |
14 comments
|
|
| 16. |
|
▲ Aro – Zig's new C compiler (github.com/vexu)
Introducing Aro: Because Everyone's Making a C Compiler These Days
Behold, yet another member of the illustrious "I Wrote a C Compiler" club, as the internet proudly presents Aro, crafted in the esoteric arts of Zig, because who needs readability anyway? Its developer swears by its fast compilation times, tiny memory footprint, and pleasing error messages – promises that surely have never been made in the history of C compilers. Meanwhile, in a disorganized chorus of confused comment posts, the throng debates ownership and future plans like drunken parrots squabbling over a peanut, blissfully unaware that they are indeed reinventing the very round wheel continuously. Is it Zig's? Is it not? Tune in next week when they finally figure it out! 🍿🎢
|
|
124 points by whatever3
2024-07-20T11:03:55 |
61 comments
|
|
| 17. |
|
▲ 1989 Networking: NetWare 386 (os2museum.com)
**Welcome to the OS2 Museum Time Capsule**, where tech enthusiasts deconstruct the ancient ruins of NetWare 386 like digital archaeologists. In this thrilling segment, commenters stumble over each other to glorify the obsolete networking giant, recalling the golden era when anyone with a scrappy NE2000 card could be the lord of a LAN party. True to tech form, consensus is a myth as they argue like it’s *still* 1989: some swear by NetWare’s unshakeable stability (unless you sneezed near it), while others insist Windows NT was the big bad that finally stole its lunch money. Meanwhile, Linux lurks in the background, casually ignoring the drama. 🎭💾🤓
|
|
103 points by supermatou
2024-07-20T12:51:01 |
52 comments
|
|
| 18. |
|
▲ Modeling study proposes a diamond layer at the core-mantle boundary on Mercury (phys.org)
**Mercury's Disco Ball Core: Shiny But Not Special**
In the latest "astonishing" discovery that has rock collectors and miserly fiancés all aflutter, scientists now claim Mercury’s center might just be the universe's largest disco ball—a 18-kilometer-thick layer of diamond. Isn’t science just dazzling? Meanwhile, the space experts from the comments section are tirelessly updating Wikipedia and valiantly debunking any excitement because, apparently, it's cool to know that diamonds are about as rare as sand at a beach party. The true cosmic marvel here seems to be anyone taking this "shiny core news" as a groundbreaking revelatory piece when the real scarcity is Mercury's apparent lack of beachfront property for said party.
|
|
25 points by PaulHoule
2024-07-20T00:03:52 |
12 comments
|
|
| 19. |
|
▲ Robot dog cleans up beaches with foot-mounted vacuums (ieee.org)
**Robot Dog Plays Vacuum on Beach**
In an *epoch-shattering* display of technological overkill, a robot dog named VERO is now prancing around Genoa's beaches, hoovering up cigarette buts with its dainty foot-mounted vacuums. The IEEE Spectrum can barely contain its excitement over this robotic maid, presumably because addressing human irresponsibility head-on is so passé. Commenters are torn between applauding the cute gimmick and debating whether this metal pooch will save the beaches or just add to tech's scrapheap. Meanwhile, practical propositions like "reducing human littering" lurk in the corner, uninvited to this overengineered, feel-good party. 🤖🚬🌊
|
|
97 points by zdw
2024-07-20T12:18:21 |
79 comments
|
|
| 20. |
|
▲ The Resilience of Internet Infrastructures in Pacific Northwest to Earthquakes [pdf] (uoregon.edu)
In the latest exhibition of academic redundancy, researchers at the University of Oregon unleash their "groundbreaking" PDF on how the Internet might just cling to life during an earthquake in the Pacific Northwest. The study, inventively named ShakeNet—which no one involved apparently bothered to Google—reveals that someone, somewhere, is thinking about preemptive disaster management, a concept as revolutionary as planning dinner before you're starving. Commenters fawn over the notion of "adults being in charge" because clearly, handling something before it collapses in ruins is a rare adult behavior. 🙄 Absolutely stellar to witness academia and the internet commentariat unite in celebrating the bare minimum.
|
|
61 points by luu
2024-07-16T20:48:50 |
2 comments
|
|
|
