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▲ Open source AI is the path forward (fb.com)
**Open Source AI is the Way, Definitely Not Cliché (fb.com)**
Meta decides to enlighten us all once again with a history lesson no one asked for, paralleled neatly with a future no one believes in—comparing Unix to AI as if they're swapping trading cards in Silicon Valley's playground. As they prophesize the rise of open-source AI, Llama 2 trots out as the poster child, barely one iteration behind despite sounding like a rejected Pokémon name. Comment sections immediately turned into digital Colosseums, where keyboard gladiators toss around links and analogies faster than Meta can rebrand itself, each proving that funding, not creativity, is what keeps their servers warm at night. Meanwhile, everyone missed that Meta's nostalgia isn't a strategy, but a bedtime story for tech giants who've run out of ideas.
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1407 points by atgctg
2024-07-23T15:08:41 |
554 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Hydrothermal explosion at Yellowstone National Park (jhnewsandguide.com)
**Yellowstone’s Fireworks Impress Bored Tourists**
In what seems to be a surprise to literally no one who has ever watched a pot of water boil, a hydrothermal explosion kicked off at Yellowstone, propelling water and rocks sky-high, much to the delight and horror of smartphone-wielding tourists. Billy Arnold, the supposed expert of everything *slightly steamy*, provides an eye-witness weather report with a geology twist. Comment sections light up with armchair experts arguing about supervolcanoes, geyser prediction models, and the endearing human habit of screaming when water does exciting things. Meanwhile, those looking for an apocalyptic twist angle for a supervolcano eruption, because what's a little earth-shattering kaboom between friends? 🌋💥🏃♂️
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261 points by jandrewrogers
2024-07-23T19:49:44 |
126 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ How Olympics officials try to catch “motor doping” (ieee.org)
Title: The High-Tech Hide and Seek at the Paris Olympics
At the upcoming Paris Olympics, where tradition meets technology, cycling officials are gearing up not to cheer but to bust some high-tech cheating on two wheels. It seems the sport's passion for cutting-edge dishonesty—lovingly dubbed "motor doping"—has pushed authorities to wield fancy electromagnetic scanners and X-ray vision that Superman would envy. Meanwhile, in the comments section, armchair experts debate whether it's better to police the cyclists or to switch to a one-bicycle-fits-all model, blissfully unaware that such practicalities pale against the industry's thirst for drama and sponsor cash injections. Clearly, everyone loves a good scandal—unless it messes with their brand.
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109 points by belter
2024-07-23T18:43:51 |
218 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Intent to end OCSP service (letsencrypt.org)
In an *oh-so-shocking* development, Let's Encrypt decides it's time to toss out the OCSP in favor of the CRLs because, apparently, spending a decade building a privacy-threatening system was just a warm-up for them. Commenters, ensuring no technical jargon goes un-debated, leap into action debating this revolutionary shift with the kind at fervor usually reserved for arguing about Star Wars characters. One enlightened soul injectively suggests that since CAs are “money printing machines,” they should have no trouble handling their trust issues, promptly getting schooled on the basics of non-profit organizations. Meanwhile, others chime in with technical digressions so dense, they’d make an ideal privacy policy for anyone aiming to be ignored. 🙄📜💤
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267 points by soheilpro
2024-07-23T15:25:14 |
106 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ You can opt out of airport face scans (vox.com)
In the latest hollow victory for privacy, a journalist discovers she can opt out of airport face scans, an option as useful as a chocolate teapot. Commenters battle it out in an echo chamber of paranoia and tech jargon, with one brave soul recounting a heroic five-minute standoff with the TSA, only to be semi-defeated by bureaucracy. Meanwhile, another commenter waves a piece of paper at cameras like a modern-day Gandalf defending privacy from the evil eye of Sauron. Surely, every selfie-taker's nightmare scenario is being discussed here: a world where opting out makes you late for your flight. 📸✈️😱
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93 points by rntn
2024-07-23T21:50:09 |
67 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Scrapscript: A functional, content-addressable programming language (github.com/tekknolagi)
Title: Another Day, Another Programming Language
Welcome to the digital circus with the latest jester, Scrapscript—a functional, content-addressable programming language guaranteed to go viral among the dozen developers who enjoy debugging more than life itself. The creator pleads you to treat the constantly changing syntax as an exciting mystery rather than the nightmarish mess it is. Token feedback enthusiasts gather in the comments to speculate wild potentials like curing world hunger, when in reality they can’t figure out why their script won’t compile. Updated documentation? Optional, like understanding this entire project. 🤡
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6 points by luu
2024-07-24T00:08:21 |
0 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Warsaw came close to never being rebuilt (2015) (culture.pl)
**Warsaw: A Concrete Jungle Paradox That's Almost Pretty, Apparently**
Once again, the internet proves itself as the prime real estate for unwarranted comparisons and nostalgia-tinted glasses. A glowing review paints Warsaw as a hidden gem outranking Prague and Budapest for aesthetic weekend breaks, obviously skipping over the "concrete with no green in sight" parts that transform into frying pans every summer. Commenters trip over themselves to either defend their car-centric overheated paradise or moan about the mysterious still-existing traffic deadlock. Between breaths of exhaust and dodges of rogue bikers, Warsaw somehow manages to be the "most underrated city" – if you squint hard enough through the pollution, that is. 😅
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117 points by danielam
2024-07-23T17:33:28 |
70 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Show QN: Briefer – multiplayer notebooks with schedules, SQL, and built-in LLMs (briefer.cloud)
Today in innovation theater: Briefer – multiplayer notebooks with schedules, SQL, and built-in LLMs, because clearly what we all need is another way to arrange our digital stationery. The startup world can't get enough, so let's slap on some SQL and LLMs because buzzwords sell, people! 🚀 Comment sections are buzzing with “helpful” suggestions like CLI tools and offline support, because nothing screams necessity like asking for features that should’ve been version 1.0 on launch. Keep those groundbreaking ideas coming, folks. Next up: Will someone request built-in coffee-making functionality? ☕💻
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116 points by lucasfcosta
2024-07-23T13:30:32 |
31 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Relationships are coevolutionary loops (2023) (henrikkarlsson.xyz)
In a riveting twist that absolutely no one saw coming, a blog post from henrikkarlsson.xyz unveils the groundbreaking discovery that relationships involve mutual adaptation and influence. Shockingly, this coevolutionary approach—previously unknown to all of human science and philosophy—has spawned deep insights like "people change over time because of relationships." The comment section, a veritable Algonquin Round Table of the internet era, erupts with experts who just discovered emojis and individuals keenly sharing anecdotal evidence from their three-week long romantic liaisons, proving once and for all that humans are social animals, or something. 🙄 What a day to be alive, indeed!
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34 points by walterbell
2024-07-21T03:54:35 |
0 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Turing's topological proof that every written alphabet is finite (2010) (divisbyzero.com)
**Turing's Infinite Laughter at Finite Alphabets**
In a world shocking revelation, Alan Turing proves that even in the infinite cosmos of ideas, your alphabet is distressingly finite – like, almost as limited as the innovation at a corporate brainstorm session. A commenter further distills this "breakthrough" by applying some elementary school math, suggesting if your printer squirts ink at 300 DPI in a square inch, the number of possible symbols is also terminally finite. As revolutionary as finding out water is wet. Meanwhile, other aspiring geniuses dive into fractal fonts and multidimensional glyphs, conjuring up ways to defy Turing’s tyranny of finiteness with schemes you'd expect from someone who took "Inception" way too literally. 🔄😅
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73 points by 082349872349872
2024-07-23T17:43:41 |
62 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ When Smart Ships Divide by Zer0 – Stranding the USS Yorktown (2018) (medium.com/dataseries)
**When Dumb Ships Meet Dumber Software**
Welcome to the latest episode of "How *Not* to Marine Engineer," where the big brains at the helm of the USS Yorktown brilliantly decided that zero divided by zero should totally just be zero, because, who needs math? The intellectual giants in the comments section dive headfirst into a cesspool of coding "expertise," fervently debating whether INF, NaN, or just plain old zero makes a better panic button when the math gets tough. Between suggestions to decriminalize all operations and heroic admissions that even software should be allowed its dumb moments just like us mortals, we're reassured that the future of naval and software engineering is in, uh, "capable" hands. 🚢💥🖥️
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16 points by smitty1e
2024-07-20T10:15:55 |
10 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ The Unix Pipe Card Game (punkx.org)
**The Unix Pipe Card Game: When You Can't Handle Real Coding**
Welcome to the latest frenzy in tech-parenting: "educational" card games that trick your kids into learning UNIX before they can even spell their names. 🎓🚸 At punkx.org, a benevolent coder-cum-santa unleashes a plethora of decks—from the whimsically daunting C Pointer Game (for the child prodigy in training) to the arcane arts of machine code with 4917 (because every kindergartener needs to understand CPU cycles). Commenters are tripping over themselves to praise these brainiac delights, tossing their kids into the command line labyrinth, and asking deep, existential questions like "what age for terminal familiarity?" Bet your child's first words will be 'syntax error'. 🤓💾 Meanwhile, the creator, forever in London, promises delayed shipping but extra decks to compensate—because who can resist a buffer overflow game under the Christmas tree? 🎄💻
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148 points by Shugyousha
2024-07-23T15:35:10 |
23 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ A free tool to quickly detect counterfeit flash (2017) (fight-flash-fraud.readthedocs.io)
**Hacker Hobbyists Hype Half-Baked Heuristic**
In an online world blooming with third-rate tech tools, a scrappy little gem named "f3" emerges to protect humanity from the existential threat of counterfeit Flash drives. With a name snatched right out of a Marvel comic, Fight Flash Fraud zealously appoints itself the gatekeeper against duplicitous USB sticks by stuffing them with more pseudorandom data than a basement programmer's Saturday night. Users are lovingly hand-held through an arcane process involving /dev/sdX and spells to cast in terminal—who knew matching letters could be such a thrill! In comment sections, techno-warriors spar gallantly over who can recite more CLI commands from memory, while blissfully unaware that their counterfeit SD cards are, indeed, still counterfeit. 🚀💾
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145 points by popol12
2024-07-23T14:34:50 |
93 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Meticulous (YC S21) is hiring to eliminate UI tests
Meticulous, the latest brainchild of Silicon Valley geniuses backed by YC, has embarked on a holy quest to banish UI tests to the Shadow Realm because who needs meticulous UX feedback when you can automate guesswork? Desperate to replace the drudgery of manual testing with Black Box voodoo, they’re hiring anyone who can spell "AI" and worship at the altar of automation. The commenter crowd, in an astounding display of missing the point, battles fiercely over tabs vs. spaces instead of addressing impending job obsolescence. Truly, the future is now, and it is both lazy and buggy.
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0 points by
2024-07-23T21:00:56 |
0 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Dtui – TUI for introspecting the state of the system/session dbus (github.com/troels51)
Title: Dtu-Why-Even: A Novel TUI to Spy on Your dbus
In the tech equivalent of reinventing the wheel but with more steps, Dtui emerges as a small TUI for admins who need to throttle their overwhelming urge to know which dbus service ate their RAM for breakfast. It bravely shoulders the task no one else dared to tackle: providing a visually underwhelming, Rust-compiled peak into dbus' soul—because knowing your system's secrets through CLI isn't indie enough. Comments swing wildly from paranoia about dbus becoming the digital Pandora's box to tragic laments about the absence of screenshots—because who can be expected to install software without gazing upon its pixelated beauty first? Ah, the tough lives of techno-masochists. 🙃
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46 points by diggan
2024-07-23T19:02:48 |
3 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ United States discloses nuclear warhead numbers; restores nuclear transparency (fas.org)
Title: America Counts Its Nukes: Now With Correct Graphs!
Hooray! The United States, in a stunning act of clerical competence, has finally updated a wrong graph to reveal the "shocking" number of nuclear warheads it has been hoarding—only mildly off from some very earnest guesses by the Federation of American Scientists. Because nothing says transparency like publishing numbers once everyone has already guesstimated them! Commenters, in a burst of unparalleled wisdom, oscillate between patting the government on the back for this "brave" disclosure and feverishly theorizing how many nukes are hidden in Area 51. Meanwhile, the rest of the world sleepily wonders why the biggest bomb count news is actually just a graph correction. 🤯
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240 points by philipkglass
2024-07-22T22:16:04 |
246 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ How many children had Lady Macbeth? (lifeandletters.substack.com)
**Web Intellectuals Solve Shakespeare's Childcare Issues**
In this week's gripping episode of *Absolute Nonsense,* self-proclaimed literary surgeons from lifeandletters.substack.com debate the critical issue that surely kept Shakespeare up at night: "How many kids did Lady Macbeth have?" Spoiler alert: it doesn't matter. But don't tell the comment section, which dives head-first into a thrilling puddle of irrelevant historical facts, armchair psychology, and the desperate need to appear clever by referencing the social mobility of hypothetical medieval offspring. Because, clearly, solving the non-existent puzzles of fictional characters' family planning is exactly what the literary world needs right now. 🎭📚
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26 points by silt
2024-07-23T19:40:37 |
17 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ ESA report shows unsustainable levels of orbital debris (payloadspace.com)
The European Space Agency, in a groundbreaking display of stating the obvious, has released a report highlighting the "unsustainable levels" of junk we've managed to fling into orbit. Apparently, satellites and space debris don't coexist harmoniously—who knew? Commentators on Payloadspace.com bravely tackle the complexities of astrodynamics and sustainability with insights like "Can't they just use a big net?" and "It's just like my kid's bedroom up there!" proving that expertise is truly optional when it comes to space commentary. 🌌🚀💫
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61 points by belter
2024-07-23T21:41:25 |
39 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ A Gentle Introduction to SAML (ssoready.com)
Title: Discover SAML – Everyone's Favorite Nightmare
In an exciting turn of events at an open-source soiree in San Francisco, a lone techie dabbles in social interaction and uncovers yet another soul scarred by the horror that is SAML (Single Sign-On Misery Lovefest). The post breathlessly recounts the encounter as if stumbling upon a unicorn in the wild, while readers rapidly morph into an agony aunt column, each sharing their traumatic rites of passage with SAML. Comments range from laughable pseudocode fixes to war stories from IT veterans, laying bare the collective PTSD of an industry haunted by an authentication protocol that even the bravest souls prefer to "actively avoid." 😱🔒💔
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170 points by ned_at_codomain
2024-07-22T17:27:44 |
73 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Ask QN: Fast data structures for disjoint intervals?
In the latest display of computer science meets existential crisis, a Hacker News user frantically searches for the holy grail of data structures that can handle disjoint intervals as if their toaster’s life depends on it. Watch the comment section erupt into chaos as self-proclaimed experts jump into the fray, each brandishing their favorite stick of algorithmic wisdom. The Lisp enthusiasts suggest *rewriting the universe*, while someone shrouded in anonymity simply types “build your own, noob 😴.” Meanwhile, machine learning algorithms scour the page in hopes of finding some semblance of usable data, only to succumb to the overwhelming sadness that no human commenter uses consistent terms.
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69 points by grovesNL
2024-07-18T23:53:18 |
70 comments
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