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▲ Non-computability of solutions of certain equations on digital computers (2022) (arxiv.org)
**Hack My Calculus Homework**
In a rare collision of obscure math and digital desperation, _Non-computability of solutions of certain equations on digital computers_ dances on arXiv, daring anyone to decipher its esoteric delights. Commenters swing from brief enlightenment to existential dread, as they tussle with uncomputable derivatives and the reality that not everything in math makes a nice headline. Between misguided comparisons to physical models and Billiard-ball computers, one hopeful soul seeks a simpler explanation—likely to soothe their haunting memories of undergrad math horrors. Manifesting a mix of curiosity and confusion, this comment section is the academic equivalent of a wild goose chase for the Holy Grail of geekery, only with more LaTeX and less chance of actual discovery. 🤓📜💥
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39 points by lisper
2024-08-03T23:02:33 |
30 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ "We ran out of columns" (jimmyhmiller.github.io)
**We ran out of columns**
In a touching homage to uncontrolled spaghetti code and database nightmares, a nostalgic software developer reminisces about *the good old days* of carving out a sequel, "merchants2," because the first table was just too darn full. Who needs scalable architectures or normalized databases when you can just sequel your way out of any structural bottleneck, right? 👨💻💾 Comment sections brim with "veterans" out-victimizing each other with tales of debug horrors and version control anarchy, fiercely competing in the oppression Olympics of their obsolete tech environments. Gather around for a bonfire of vanities where everyone can boast about the biggest code mess, as if first place might win them a lifetime achievement award in legacy system limbo. 🏆🔥
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865 points by poidos
2024-08-03T12:26:03 |
323 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Reverse engineering XC2064, the first FPGA (2020) (righto.com)
In an astonishing display of time-fueled irrelevance, a 2020 deep dive into the XC2064 FPGA—a component your coffee maker has probably evolved past—suddenly resurfaces on Hacker News, igniting "fascinating" exchanges among tech aficionados whose gadgets undoubtedly contain more sophisticated tech while they sleep. One enthusiastic commenter connects this ancient silicon relic to a '90s video capture doodad called Snappy, thus proving nostalgia is just as recyclable as old tech. Meanwhile, another commenter posits, with the revelatory tone of someone discovering fire, that articles re-emerge on HN due to voting—a feature surely as complex and unexpected as the FPGA itself. What pioneering insights will the titan minds of Hacker News uncover next? Stay tuned, or don't—it's probably just more old chips and baseless speculations. 🙄
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16 points by vinnyvichy
2024-08-03T22:51:31 |
4 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Reverse engineering the 59-pound printer onboard the Space Shuttle (righto.com)
**Reverse Engineering the Dial-Up Era Space Artifact**
In a stellar display of nostalgic engineering, some brave soul has decided to reverse engineer the Space Shuttle's 59-pound printer, a relic apparently just as baffling as its excessive weight in zero gravity. Readers of the blog emerge from the woodwork with quixotic technical inquiries, ranging from the suitability of antiquated ASCII art for space communication, to desperately wondering how much dead-tree weight could be spared if NASA just used iPads instead. Comment-section rocket scientists passionately debate whether the extra poundage of yellow paper (yes, it was always yellow, not aged to perfection) justified its cost, with calculated rigor only slightly surpassing a back-of-the-napkin UFO sighting report. Meanwhile, the author stands by, likely contemplating why his meticulous dissection of coding antiquities is attracting more conspiracy theorists than computer historians.
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179 points by chmaynard
2024-08-03T16:43:09 |
56 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Make your electronics tamper-evident (anarsec.guide)
**Hacker Paranoid: The "Trust No One" Edition**
In a world where even your toaster might be an FBI informant, the paranoid minds at anarsec.guide are here to teach you how to sniff out if your tech has been molested by the feds. Luckily, we've got a roomful of James Bonds in the comments, armed with Amazon links to *tamper tape* and tales from the time they rig-proofed grandma’s Jitterbug phone. Meet the commenter whose prestigious link summoning magic converts paranoia into a clickable adventure across the cybersecurity universe – because what's more thrilling than making your devices snitch-proof with a piece of sticker? Don't miss this gripping episode of *CSI: Electronics*! 🕵️♂️💻🔍
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115 points by walterbell
2024-08-03T19:25:58 |
61 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Monetagium – monetary extortion in feudal Europe (jpkoning.blogspot.com)
**Monetagium – An Old Hustle in Feudal Garb**
In a groundbreaking revelation, an author equates historical monetary practices with modern mafia schemes, uncovering that feudal lords were basically the OG gangsters of currency manipulation. Commenters illuminate us with their scattered historical correctness and economic theories, evidently unaware that neither medieval lords nor contemporary blog insights will alter their bank account's debasement. Amidst verbose essays on Bitcoin's revolutionary role against governmental greed, one ponders: if only they could mine critical thinking as fervently as cryptocurrency. 🚜💰👑
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56 points by jpkoning
2024-08-03T19:23:09 |
14 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ StarBook 7 14" Linux Laptop with Intel Core Ultra 7, 4K, Up to 96GB 5.6GHz RAM (starlabs.systems)
In a stunning showcase of geographical overachievement, the StarBook 7 announces its ability to accept currency from more countries than its average user can point to on a map. Tech enthusiasts and flag aficionados rejoice as this Linux powerhouse tempts them with a dazzling array of payment options, ensuring that whether in Argentina or Austria, you can overpay for your electronics in your native or preferred fiat. Comment sections inflame as patrons bicker over the merits of solid state drive speeds versus the socioeconomic implications of the Belarusian ruble's inclusion. Clearly, everyone's missing the real question: Can it run Crysis on Ultra settings in every currency zone?
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3 points by mrusme
2024-08-04T00:17:05 |
0 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Can Reading Make You Happier? (2015) (newyorker.com)
In a world drowning in self-help sewage, "Can Reading Make You Happier?" blossoms as the pinnacle of superficial wellness flexes, showcasing a trendy bibliotherapy session that turns books into aspirin for the soul. Commenters leap, with predictable enthusiasm, to either mourn or celebrate their own emotional resurrections via Brandon Sanderson's wordy dribblings. One brave soul seeks a formula to bottle this "book-induced euphoria," presumably to ward off the existential horror of their weekday nine-to-five. Another just wants to know, really, why books = happiness, because typing out an actual thoughtful response was just too burdensome. 😒
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9 points by kawera
2024-08-03T23:10:17 |
4 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Clang vs. Clang (cr.yp.to)
**Clang vs. Clang: A Surgeon's Guide to Splitting Hairs**
In a mesmerizing display of recursion, a blog post delves deep into the world of compiler optimizations, blaming everything but the kitchen sink for causing unforeseen bugs. Compiler writers, armed with the audacious belief that making things "faster" is equivalent to making them "better," apparently take a leaf out of the politicians’ playbook, refusing to admit any wrongdoing. Meanwhile, illustrious commenters, with the finesse of a bull in a china shop, wax philosophical about standards and undefined behaviors, neatly dodging the existential dread of accepting that maybe, just maybe, their beloved C isn't perfect for everything. As the narrative unfolds through a loop of fixes, tests, and blame games, it's clear: in the land of Clang, the one with the least undefined behavior wins.
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125 points by dchest
2024-08-03T14:45:17 |
153 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Parsing Protobuf Definitions with Tree-sitter (relistan.com)
In the latest display of Silicon Valley's fetish for complicating the simple, relistan.com introduces us to the groundbreaking idea of using the esoteric Tree-sitter to parse protobuf definitions—because apparently the standard tools provided are just too mainstream. The tech maverick behind this revolution seems to assume that everyone shares their masochistic enthusiasm for bridging unnecessary complexity. Meanwhile, the comment section becomes a battleground for the few souls brave enough to both understand and care about the difference between descriptor sets and AST formats, with a generous sprinkle of links to everyone's half-baked GitHub projects. One commenter sagely points out that, shockingly, existing tools might just be easier, but confesses that wouldn’t churn out a sexy blog post. 🤓💻
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42 points by PaulHoule
2024-08-03T19:13:59 |
13 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ How to build quickly (learnhowtolearn.org)
Welcome to the latest productivity hack: "Outline Speedrunning," where complexity is reduced to a flowchart and every project is an excuse to not polish anything until the very end. As we explore this groundbreaking strategy on learnhowtolearn.org, enthusiastic commenters are tripping over themselves to declare how "incredibly simple yet incredibly powerful" this reinvented wheel actually is. Who knew that breaking tasks down and doing them quickly could be considered a skill? Meanwhile, another commenter finds salvation in a markdown file, proving once more that modern problems require basic text editors disguised as profound tools. 🚀📝💨
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243 points by fagnerbrack
2024-08-03T19:05:02 |
62 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Sega Jet Rocket: The '70s arcade game with no computer or screen (newatlas.com)
### Sega Jet Rocket: The '70s Arcade Game That Somehow Existed Without Screens or Sense
The wizards over at New Atlas have unearthed an archaeological gem: the Sega Jet Rocket, an arcade game so archaic it predates the very concepts of computers and screens. Marvel as the author tip-toes around egregious displays of humility, repeatedly apologizing for burdening the reader with 'technical' jargon in a piece about mechanical engineering - because obviously, anyone fascinated by a screen-less arcade game is also terrified of mild technical explanations. Meanwhile, our erudite commenters toggle between awe at the "astounding" design and being grievously insulted by the author's gentle tone. Who knew nostalgia could simultaneously trigger admiration and passive aggression? 🚀👓
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26 points by geox
2024-08-03T23:32:04 |
2 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ An FPGA built with 7400 series logic [video] (ccc.de)
In an effort to ensure no one ever enjoys tech hobbies again, Simon Burkhardt decides to torture humanity by reconstructing an FPGA with Stone Age's cherished 7400 series logic, because who needs efficiency when you can bask in nostalgia? What follows is a deluge of commenters competing in the "Obscure Tech Throwback Olympics," passionately discussing relics like DEC's VAX 9000 and fantasizing about Chipotle-style customizable chips. Amongst this escapade into obsolescence, one brave soul dares to question the practicality of all this—and rightly wonders if we have invented problems merely to solve them with more convoluted engineering. Meanwhile, on the sidelines, a jaded tech enthusiast longs for the simplicity of a Google search not polluted by inconsistent semiconductor part naming conventions. 😒 #FirstWorldProblems 🤖
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104 points by chrsw
2024-08-03T13:40:07 |
9 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Primitive Recursive Functions for a Working Programmer (matklad.github.io)
**Primitive Recursive Functions For Anyone Who Can Spell "Recursive" (matklad.github.io)**
In a stunning display of pedantry, another programmer decides to lecture the unwashed masses on the holy principles of Turing-completeness. "You're using it wrong!" cries the author from his semantic high tower, while most readers are just trying to figure out if they left the oven on. The comment section morphs into a pseudo-academic battlefield, where keyboard warriors armed with half-remembered computer science courses argue over nuances that will affect absolutely none of their lives. 🎓🍿 Meanwhile, somewhere, a lone commenter just wants to find a configuration language that doesn't turn into soup. Too bad, friend. Too bad.
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107 points by ingve
2024-08-03T12:32:01 |
38 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Discovering algorithms by enumerating terms in Haskell (twitter.com/victortaelin)
Title: Haskell Wizards Go Term-Crunching: A Magical Mystery On Asymptotic Sparsity
In what must surely be the most riveting corner of the internet, Haskell enthusiasts have once again broken ground, this time by attempting to enumerate algorithms through term generation, which sounds a lot like trying to pour the ocean into a thimble. The comment section devolves into a competitive soliloquy league where the discourse ranges from casually mentioning decade-old research to dropping paper links like they're hot—if by hot, you mean as riveting to the layman as watching paint dry. The sheer amount of academic cannonballing, complete with obscure references to issues that even Haskell itself pretends not to have, almost overshadows the daunting 'asymptotic sparsity problem.' Almost. Debate continues to spiral in complexity, leaving mere mortals bewildered, wondering if this could eventually explain the mysteries of the universe, or, more likely, just crash another compiler. 🤓🌀
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90 points by agomez314
2024-08-02T18:57:05 |
33 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ p5.js (p5js.org)
**p5.js: Now With More Accessibility?**
The tech world is abuzz with the groundbreaking news: p5.js has a new website, complete with enhanced documentation and a €450k "makeover" generously funded by the Sovereign Tech Fund. Commenters parade their nostalgic experiences, debating whether the framework is still relevant amidst modern tech while quietly mourning the simpler days of using p5.js for basic animations. Amidst the clatter, one noble soul attempts to elevate the conversation by mixing p5.js with ChatGPT, boldly challenging the limits of '90s tech in 2024. Meanwhile, another commenter subtly promotes their digital ad, leveraging this profound discussion for a splash of free advertising. 😏👨💻
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382 points by alabhyajindal
2024-08-03T04:53:10 |
56 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ To preserve their work journalists take archiving into their own hands (niemanlab.org)
Title: Journalists Build Digital Fort Knox for Old News No One Remembers
Journalists, in a heroic leap of nostalgic preservation, have decided to defy the cold grip of digital oblivion by archiving their own work, because apparently, the internet wasn't forever after all. Talya Cooper, an archivist who's seen a webpage or two vanish, champions the noble effort as a quest for "an accurate record," unearthing the groundbreaking revelation that websites sometimes shut down. Commenters, in a showcase of vintage internet wisdom, suggest everything from printouts to tattooing articles on their backs, evidencing the profound connection between data hoarding and identity crises. Meanwhile, another bewildered soul wonders aloud if there's a magical DOI for every random digital scribble, unable to locate his first GeoCities page on modern browsers. 📜🗑️🔍
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55 points by bcta1
2024-08-03T13:57:49 |
19 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Show QN: Hanon Pro – piano technique and exercises for the digital age (furnacecreek.org)
Title: Show HN: Hanon Pro – piano technique and exercises for the digital age (furnacecreek.org)
Welcome to Hanon Pro, the latest app absolutely no one knew they needed until its creators decided everyone was just too inefficient at pressing piano keys. Now, your iPad can nag you about missed notes just like your disappointed music teacher, but with graphs and dark mode! Rejoice as the app turns your peaceful piano practice into a thrilling mix of anxiety and data entry, all while reading insightful comments from armchair musicians who argue more about Bluetooth latency than practicing their scales. Hanon Pro: because what music really needed was more push notifications.
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221 points by albertru90
2024-08-03T05:21:09 |
88 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Western Digital: We Are Sampling 32TB SMR Hard Drives (anandtech.com)
In a thrilling display of technological excess, Western Digital announces a soon-to-be-obsolete 32TB hard drive, featuring an array of buzzwords sure to even confuse their own engineers. UltraSMR, ePMR 2, and OptiNAND join forces not to save the world, but to hopefully save some data—assuming users can endure the glacial speeds of SMR technology. Commenters, in a nostalgic ode to dial-up internet speeds, recount tales of despair as their hard drives transform simple file transfers into day-long events. The collective online wisdom concludes that these drives should be used for anything that doesn't involve turning them on or expecting them to function in this century. 🐌💾🕰️
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36 points by mfiguiere
2024-08-03T21:27:47 |
20 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Additive manufacturing of an ultrastrong, deformable aluminum alloy (nature.com)
The wizards of metal at Nature Communications unveil yet another "breakthrough" by cobbling together an alloy from the periodic table leftovers, promising an additively manufactured utopia where aluminum isn't just aluminum anymore – it's Al92Ti2Fe2Co2Ni2. Internet metallurgists flock to the comments to remind everyone that everything old is new and expensive again, questioning if the alloy is a real improvement or just a remix of grandpa's warplane material. Meanwhile, discussions around phase diagrams and entropy make a delightful return to confuse undergrads and armchair scientists, because who doesn't like their material science with a side of chaos theory?ERGY, but at what cost? 🤔💸
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68 points by PaulHoule
2024-08-02T17:09:19 |
40 comments
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