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▲ Cortex A73's Not-So-Infinite Reordering Capacity (chipsandcheese.com)
In an exciting outburst of techno-babble for the dedicated few who like their semiconductors overly complicated, chipsandcheese.com rolls out an "enlightening" piece on the Cortex A73's reordering capacity. It appears that 'infinite' isn't in the vocabulary of hardware without causing a heat death of the nearest GPU. Meanwhile, commenters, erupting in their usual display of one-upmanship fueled by half-remembered Wikipedia articles and caffeine, fail to differentiate between a CPU pipeline and a plumbing pipe. CPU geeks unite – someone on the internet is wrong! 🤓💻
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89 points by ingve
2024-08-04T21:30:00 |
0 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Porting my JavaScript game engine to C for no reason (phoboslab.org)
**Porting my JavaScript game engine to C for no reason (phoboslab.org)**
Today in tech masochism, someone decided to resurrect their 2010 JavaScript game engine by transcribing it into C, because using modern tools is just too mainstream. Commenters dust off their museum-quality programming hats to debate whether "you can't polish a turd" applies more to the original JavaScript version or its C reincarnation — while painstakingly missing the irony that discussing software relic conversion is polishing the Internet’s biggest turd: nostalgia. Meanwhile, a side-trip to discussing monetization of “turds” provides a delightful insight into the anxiety-fraught lives of developers, terrified at the thought of both success and obscurity. Anchor yourselves, folks — the past is apparently the future! 🙄💻🕹️
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319 points by zichy
2024-08-04T15:26:34 |
80 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Enum class improvements for C++17, C++20 and C++23 (cppstories.com)
**C++ ENUMcalypse Now: The Never-ending "Improvements"**
Welcome to another thrilling deep dive into the ever-convoluted world of C++ enum classes, where _modern C++_ enthusiasts eagerly slap new stickers on the same old rusty car 🚗. The poor sods wax lyrical about achieving "code safety" with enum classes stretching from C++17 through C++23, only to meet the harsh reality of unfixable type-checking problems and soul-crushing compiler errors 🤦♂️. Meanwhile, the comment section becomes an enchanting mix of disillusionment and half-baked workarounds as our heroes discover variants don’t play nice with references—shocking, right? But don't worry, some bright spark always chimes in with a templated monster nobody besides them can understand or maintain. Keep iterating, folks—it's not a bug, it's a feature! 🎉
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66 points by ibobev
2024-08-04T20:09:37 |
34 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Show QN: Free e-book about WebGPU Programming (shi-yan.github.io)
Title: Show HN: Amateur Hour at WebGPU Coding Camp
In an exciting development for exactly three people, a free e-book on WebGPU programming has been unleashed upon the suspecting public. The "WebGPU Unleashed" promises to guide absolute beginners from "What is a pixel?" to "Why doesn't this code work on my machine?," courtesy of someone who just learned it himself. Commenters trip over themselves to praise the effort, with one keen observer noting that the code doesn't actually function in Safari—oh, wait, never mind, just had to restart. Another marvels at the revolutionary idea of having book contents next to code, clearly a suggestion on the bleeding edge of innovation. Revel in the collective debugging that unfolds like a slow-motion car crash in the comments. 🍿😱
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28 points by billconan
2024-08-04T22:56:22 |
4 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Jailbroke my Kindle to use it as an e-ink monitor (gist.github.com)
### Hacking the Unhackable: A Tale of E-ink Glory
In what appears to be a daring act of technological rebellion, a lone coder embarks on a quest to transform a humble Kindle into an e-ink monitor. Watch the gripping 3.5 fps demo that's remarkably achieving, quite literally, nothing faster than the slow motion feature on your smartphone. Amidst a sea of comments—ranging from naïve enthusiasm to poignant sobs for a vanished Go source code—the Internet once again proves its aptitude for celebrating mediocre achievements with spectacular fervor. 🚀📚💤 Who knew watching paint dry might have just found its digital rival?
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133 points by adtac
2024-08-04T16:08:25 |
62 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ WhenFS: Calender Is Now a File System (github.com/lvkv)
WhenFS: Where Needless Complexity Meets Artisanal Code Messes
In an act of sheer, unadulterated why-the-hell-not, a brave coder turns Google Calendar into a filesystem, apparently because managing plain ol' events is just too mainstream. The project, a crashed fusion of calendar "art" and filesystem logic, is as useful as a chocolate teapot but twice as slow, with "blistering" speeds akin to etching your data onto stone tablets. Meanwhile, the commenters, in their eternal quest for meaning in a meaningless code jamboree, stumble upon profound realizations about personal growth through messy coding, even suggesting double-down ideas that might just break the internet—or at least Google Calendar. They wax poetic about the lost arts of simplicity, yet can't help but bubble over with excitement about cramming more round pegs of functionality into the square hole of this already convoluted tool. 🖇️📅
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198 points by 3ul3r
2024-08-04T16:35:36 |
40 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Romram: Using QSPI RAM with RP2040's SSI in read-write mode (dmitry.gr)
**Tech Hobbyists Rediscover Memory Management**: In a dazzling display of unnecessary complexity, a desperate hacker insists on adding 8MB of external RAM to an RP2040 chip, as if it were somehow making the tiny chip dream bigger. "Watch me use complicated tech terms to make sticking extra RAM on this chip sound vital and innovative," he exclaims, sliding a QSPI RAM chip onto the board like a square peg into a round hole. Meanwhile, the comment section becomes a battleground for others, bragging about similar Frankenstein-like tech mashups that probably also shouldn't exist. Sarcasm and self-congratulation ensue as everyone forgets what they were trying to achieve in the first place. 🤓🔧💡
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33 points by fanf2
2024-08-04T20:42:03 |
3 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Puget Systems' Perspective on Intel CPU Instability Issues (pugetsystems.com)
Puget Systems' Perspective on Intel CPU Instability Issues: Where Statistics Meet Meltdowns
In an exhilarating exposé ripped straight from the pages of someone's lab notebook, Puget Systems unveils the shocking reality that a whole 2-4% of Intel CPUs could potentially fail, sending shockwaves through a community that previously thought CPU issues were solely the result of not using them correctly. Comment sections ignite with amateur statisticians and seasoned skeptics alike; one genius calculates that if CPUs were any less reliable, "nothing on earth would compare", clearly forgetting about their monthly Comcast outage. Between fervent comparisons to the unsettling reliability of mechanical hard drives and calls for Intel to 'fess up, it's a whirlwind tour of semiconductor soap opera. Finally, everyone agrees on one thing: CPUs fail just often enough to keep online forums buzzing and conspiracy theories well-fed. 🤖💻🔥
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54 points by layer8
2024-08-04T20:27:50 |
19 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Buster: Captcha Solver for Humans (github.com/dessant)
**Buster: Savior of Humanity or Just Another CAPTCHA Pest?**
In a staggering feat of near-human intelligence, the Buster extension allows users, who may not know the difference between AI and a toaster, to bypass reCAPTCHA's annoying audio challenges. Surely, the back-patting caffeine-fueled mavericks behind this think they're rescuing us from the evil clutches of CAPTCHA, supported by their *benevolent* backers on Patreon and PayPal. Commenters, neck-deep in their existential online dread, worry about privacy and the persistent Google bogeyman, seemingly unaware that they lost that battle the moment they signed up for their first free email account. Meanwhile, those fighting on the front lines of the internet lament the rise of "micro-tyrants" ruining everything, as if the web is just a grand stage for their paranoid tech soap operas. 🤖🛡️
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73 points by thunderbong
2024-08-04T17:47:18 |
32 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Qub – a framework for building websites with QBasic (github.com/jamonholmgren)
**Qub: Nostalgia As A Service**
Ah, nostalgia! In a daring attempt to drag QBasic kicking and screaming into the modern age, Github's own Jamon Holmgren presents Qub, a tool that full-heartedly believes the 90s didn't end. This CLI gem, exclusive to macOS & Linux, asserts that programming peaked with DOS-based IDEs and demands: "Star this repo!" as if squeezing blood from a stone. Meanwhile, the peanut gallery reminisces over bananas.bas and gorilla.bas, with comments shining like badges of honor from a forgotten digital age. Who knew web development could be a retro gaming console? 😂👾
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24 points by bcjordan
2024-08-04T20:46:15 |
8 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Dispatches from the farm upstate (lcamtuf.substack.com)
In the latest riveting installment of "rural myths and dreams," we learn that owning a picturesque farm just a stone's throw from civilization is not the bucolic paradise one might imagine—turns out it's more like a full-time money pit. 🚜💸 Commenters dive deep into a profound analysis, debating the nuances of snow removal and tree maintenance like it's groundbreaking science. One keen observer suggests turning your backyard into a tourist trap to keep from drowning in tax bills and plowing expenses. Meanwhile, another interjects a reality check about the harsh economics of acre versus square foot—a daring leap in agricultural economics. Who knew rural life could be such a fiscal thriller?
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58 points by walterbell
2024-08-04T17:55:25 |
15 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Evaluating a class of infinite sums in closed form (johndcook.com)
In the latest episode of "Infinite Sums for Infinite Fun," John D. Cook and his merry band of commenters dive headfirst into the mathematical masochism that is closed form evaluation of infinite sums. As expected, the commentary section transforms into a nerd Colosseum where mathematical gladiators wield the mighty sword of Feynman’s differentiation trick, only to be effortlessly parried by the shield of geometric series. Watch in bewilderment as one brave soul attempts to introduce the "Li function," promptly causing another to 🏃♂️💨 abandon reading altogether. Meanwhile, another camp brandishes generating functions like ancient runes, convinced of their mystical powers to solve just about anything. Spoiler alert: They all circle back to the same tedious, algebraic tricks we promised ourselves we'd forget after graduation. 🧙♂️📜✨
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119 points by beefman
2024-08-04T00:20:10 |
28 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ The Spartan Protocol Homepage (mozz.us)
**The Hobbyist Protocol Pantomime**
In a digital world desperately in need of more acronyms and slightly restricted functionality, Spartan Protocol heroically answers a question nobody asked. Harnessing the boundless potential of ASCII for both inspiration and limitation, Spartan draws from the overflowing well of obsolete protocols to sprinkle a dash of nostalgia on your TCP connections. Commenters, clad in their tech-nostalgia goggles, wax poetic about eschewing "modern web complexities" for a simpler ASCII Eden where JavaScript and practicality are left at the door. Meanwhile, debates erupt over adding headers to requests like some kind of Hypertext Frankenstein, proving once more that no tech discussion can escape the gravitational pull of HTTP. 🎭
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25 points by networked
2024-08-04T19:29:39 |
3 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Self-Compressing Neural Networks (arxiv.org)
In this week's feature on arXiv, a refreshing blend of vague jargon meets the age-old quest for research accessibility: behold, the Self-Compressing Neural Networks! Scholars and casual perusers alike, rejoice in the indistinguishable complexity that promises to compress your understanding as tightly as the networks themselves. Aspiring contributors are called to elevate arXiv's open-access ethos, transforming it from a mere repository into a beacon of elitist academic gibberish. The comment section, predictably, becomes a war zone where misunderstood geniuses battle over interpretations, all the while unintentionally proving the real need for accessibility in understanding their own comments. 😵💫🤖💥
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140 points by bilsbie
2024-08-04T12:17:16 |
32 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Apprentice, Journeyman, and Master: The Medieval Guild (2018) (philosophicalsociety.org)
**Modern Day Medievalism: Longing for the LARP**
In an age where Googling is too hard, a brave soul ventured into the depths of the philosophicalsociety.org to extract wisdom about the *good ol' days* of guilds, because reading actual history might just take too long. Without doubt, guilds—these magical institutions of yore, where every carpenter was a wandering philosopher and every craftsman held the secret handshake to economic dominion—are exactly what we need to fix everything from modern economics to bad coding practices. Cue the comments section, full of armchair historians and the "well, actually" tech crowd, lamenting the loss of craftsmanship in between sips of overpriced coffee and tweets about meritocracy. Get ready to don your virtual artisan's apron, folks. Are we fixing societal woes or just yearning for a cosplay? 🛠️🎩
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76 points by squircle
2024-08-04T15:11:53 |
21 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Praise My GitHub Profile (praise-me.fly.dev)
**Praise My GitHub Profile: The Ultimate Exercise in Digital Ego-Stroking**
In a groundbreaking move that's sure to revolutionize the tech community, praise-me.fly.dev offers a never-before-seen service: AI-powered ego massages under the guise of constructive feedback! Gone are the days of self-doubt—now, you can have an AI confirm just how groundbreaking your "Hello World" in 15 different languages really is. Users and basement dwellers alike are ecstatic, flooding the comments with their relief at finally understanding the vast importance of their 2-star projects. Meanwhile, the average GitHub lurker wastes no time pointing out that sarcasm is indeed still free and that they might embark on developing a coffee mug that roasts you as your coffee cools—because, evidently, that's what peak innovation looks like now. 😂🤖
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71 points by xena
2024-08-04T16:28:22 |
29 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Show QN: AI-Powered Stock Market Analyst with Global Coverage (decodeinvesting.com)
In today's episode of HackerNews grandiosity, a hopeful startup launches another AI-powered crystal ball they call "Decode Investing," which purportedly peeks over the entire globe to whisper stock market secrets. As expected, the comments section transforms into a messianic fanfare, with armchair analysts treating algorithmic outputs like gospel. One commenter, self-proclaimed "Tech Guru," compares it to the Oracle of Delphi, but with fewer cryptic responses and more JavaScript. Meanwhile, skeptics are drowned in a flood of downvotes, because on HackerNews, believing in tech solutions is not just a choice, but a commandment. 😂
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29 points by clark-kent
2024-08-04T21:31:03 |
18 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Belenios: Verifiable online voting system (belenios.org)
**Belenios 2.5.12024: Democracy, or a Comp Sci Homework Assignment?**
Desperate to ensure that their sport association elections are as opaque as their understanding of quantum physics, France champions Belenios 2.5.12024, a verifiable voting system that they claim solves problems most voters didn't know existed. Meanwhile, in a thrilling chapter of "What Does This Button Do?", a critical fix patches the issue of trusty trustees decrypting your vote at a techno-rave. Fence-sitters in the comment section debate whether it's more important for a voting system to be verifiable or just believable enough that Aunt Tilda doesn’t storm off during Thanksgiving. One enlightened commenter proposes we scrap digital trust for "magic markers" and visible inks, because if you can't see democracy, is it really there? 🕵️♂️🗳️
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122 points by leonry
2024-08-04T12:41:33 |
155 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Improving _Generic in C2y (thephd.dev)
**Improving _Generic in C2y: The Developer Mosh Pit**
In the latest tragicomedy of C language development, aspiring software architects wrestle with the decades-old _Generic keyword without realizing they're in a battle they lost before it even started. With all the fervor of a soap opera, commentators passionately debate how _Generic could miraculously save C from sinking further into the abyss of obsolescence, all while stumbling over its inherent inability to ignore type-checks for discarded branches—because who wouldn't want to add more complexity to a language already infamous for making easy things hard? One bright commenter suggests a charm offensive to recruit _Generic as the poster child for the next Obfuscated C Contest, heralding a new era of befuddlement. Meanwhile, a lone, jaded voice recalls with sardonic nostalgia how C was once the “foundation of all software”—a museum relic best preserved under glass rather than subjected to misguided modernization.🧐🔧💥
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31 points by luu
2024-08-04T07:46:11 |
10 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Nvidia's Blackwell Reworked – Shipment Delays and GB200A Reworked Platforms (semianalysis.com)
Nvidia tries its best to make a splash in the lucrative postponement market with its latest product, the "Soon™" Blackwell. The tech giant, never one to shy away from a delay, decides that the Blackwell could use a little more *time in the oven*—because if anything screams innovation, it's definitely more waiting. Excited commenters cheer on, viewing each delay as a mystical sign to buy stocks, not GPUs. Because, obviously, the only thing better than new tech is speculative finance based on *not* having new tech. Ah, the sweet smell of progress! 🚀💸
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39 points by charleshn
2024-08-04T21:38:23 |
2 comments
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