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1. ▲ LibreCUDA – Launch CUDA code on Nvidia GPUs without the proprietary runtime (github.com/mikex86)
In a groundbreaking display of open-source bravado, GitHub is now home to **LibreCUDA**, the ultimate salvation for all twelve free-software zealots desperate to run ten-year-old CUDA code directly on their Nvidia GPUs, without Nvidia's nasty proprietary cuddles. Meanwhile, the comment section transforms into a delightful circus as hobbyist philosophers debate the *cosmic irony* of buying Nvidia hardware just to stick it to Nvidia. Of course, no tech discussion is complete without the mandatory "if only we could run it on AMD" laments, and suggestions for turning every coder's poorly ventilated apartment into a makeshift datacenter-cum-sauna. Truly, the spirit of innovation is alive and well, dressed in an aging GPU and a sprinkle of legal loopholes. 🚀🔥
320 points by rrampage 2024-08-08T17:24:40 | 72 comments
2. ▲ Public Work: a search engine for public domain images (public.work)
Title: "Public Work Pioneers The Art Of Hiding Public Domain Images in Plain Sight"

Hackers and hobbyist designers flock in confusion to public.work, a fresh hell that promises to revolutionize the struggle of finding public domain images by making them almost impossible to locate. An inspired user raves about the artistic touch of blurry interface elements, rendering the act of actually *seeing* images a quaint, nostalgic affair. Queries pour in: Does it include Wikimedia Commons? No such luck — it appears Google's spaghetti code might have less competition than feared. Public.work bravely omits both Wikimedia and NASA images, leading to an impromptu game of "find the public domain" that not even its creators can win. 😂 Scour the web, but not here!
56 points by throw0101d 2024-08-05T15:22:35 | 3 comments
3. ▲ Do quests, not goals (raptitude.com)
Title: "Do Quests, Not Goals: A Magical Journey of Semantics"

In an enlightening exposure of linguistic gymnastics over at raptitude.com, readers earnestly grapple with transforming the mundane concept of goals into the enchantingly pointless notion of quests. Commenters chime in with epiphanies, fervently debating whether relabeling their to-do lists as "quests" injects their lives with newfound purpose or just masks the existential dread of productivity. One enlightened soul proudly proclaims the revolutionary difference between doing and having done, while another waxes poetic about car restoration as the ultimate quest, blissfully ignoring the rusty reality. Meanwhile, a marathon runner in the comments magically turns every task into an endless, joyous loop, ensuring we all remember that it's not about the destination or even the journey, but about calling the journey something more whimsical. 🏃‍♂️✨
233 points by zdw 2024-08-08T18:02:12 | 64 comments
4. ▲ Launch QN: Stack Auth (YC S24) – An Open-Source Auth0/Clerk Alternative (github.com/stack-auth)
**Launch HN: The Open-Source Mirage**

In the newest act of entrepreneurial theater, Stack Auth bursts onto Hacker News, promising to revolutionize authentication by cloning every feature you never used from Auth0 and Clerk. In desperate pursuit of validation, Stack Auth pledges an easy setup (unless, of course, you're tangled in the hellscape of legacy systems). The comments section rapidly degenerates into a predictable echo chamber of "congratulations" and thinly-veiled panic over job security as developers everywhere confess that they too can hardly wait to replace their current, barely-tolerable authentication mess with a shiny new one. Meanwhile, someone inevitably cries "bubble!" because, why not throw in some doomsday spice? 🎭🔒
138 points by n2d4 2024-08-08T18:23:57 | 78 comments
5. ▲ I got almost all of my wishes granted with RP2350 (dmitry.gr)
Title: "I Hung My Entire Career on an RP2350 and All I Got Was This Lousy Blog Post"

Summary: In today's fascinatingly mundane saga, our hero swaps one temperamental microcontroller for another in a daring display of brand loyalty. Watch in awe as the RP2040 is tossed aside, not for its lack of killer features like PIO, DMA, and overclocking powers, but because it made someone reach for the abysmal STM32H7 - the horror! 🎭 Meanwhile, the comment section transforms into a breathtaking arena of English-language championship, correcting "peaked" to "piqued" and offering an unsolicited manifesto on dirt handling by robotic tractors. But don't worry, the riveting discussion about DFU functionalities in MCUs keeps everyone second-guessing their life choices. 💾🔥
433 points by elipsitz 2024-08-08T13:03:22 | 196 comments
6. ▲ Recent Performance Improvements in Function Calls in CPython (codingconfessions.com)
🚀💡 *Another groundbreaking stride* in Python programming: removing C-level calls so we can run slow in a brand new way! 🐢 Meanwhile, in the comment section, tech bros square off in a benchmarking Olympics to prove whose hacky one-liner can shave off a nanosecond more, completely missing the forest for the trees. 🌳⏱️ While one commenter longs for the good old days (or PyPy), others get *philosophical* about prototyping in Python as if rewriting code in a "real" language is just a rite of passage. *So much insight*, except nobody really questions why we’re using Python for performance-heavy tasks in the first place. 🤔🔧
79 points by rbanffy 2024-08-08T19:23:36 | 24 comments
7. ▲ The ancient art of roasting agave (atlasobscura.com)
**Title: The Hipster Guide to Eating Your Garden Tools**

In a stunning feat of ethnobotanical clickbait, Atlas Obscura manages to romanticize the indentured servitude of agave plants. The gritty reality of desert survival is repackaged as a quaint, "authentic" adventure—because your life isn’t complete until you’ve ripped a plant from its roots and roasted it like a marshmallow. Meanwhile, the comment section becomes a free-for-all, where self-declared survival experts and weekend warriors argue over the virtues of artisanal mescal, blissfully unaware that their closest encounter with "wild" is choosing between organic and non-GMO at Whole Foods. 🌿🔥🍸
48 points by NoRagrets 2024-08-06T06:35:10 | 0 comments
8. ▲ The UK government has blocked IPs (police.uk)
**UK Government's IP Block Party: The Web Edition**

In a twist that feels right out of a Monty Python sketch, the UK government bungles internet access to its police website, turning the act of reaching police.uk into an inadvertent game of "Guess Who's Blocked Today?" 🕵️‍♂️ Commenters transform into accidental tourists in their own digital homeland, facing the stark realization that not even a Commonwealth passport could get you a backstage pass to this digital debacle. Meanwhile, the collective cyber cries from both Yankees and the Queen's own ex-pats echo through the corridors of power, each one hilariously convinced that someone in a suitably drab government office is defiantly pressing a *big red "NO" button* every time they attempt to log on. As the comments degenerate into a blend of conspiracy theories, legal disclaimers, and earnest disbelief, it's clear the only crime being effectively processed is against common sense. 🚔🚫
16 points by hi 2024-08-09T00:09:25 | 5 comments
9. ▲ GPUDrive: Data-driven, multi-agent driving simulation at 1M FPS (arxiv.org)
In today's exciting episode of "We Never Sleep," arXiv drops a hot, steaming pile of "revolution" with GPUDrive: a simulation tool promising to turbocharge our autonomous vehicular nightmares at a blistering 1M FPS. Excited commenters, unable to actually read the paper but ever ready to hype, speculate feverishly whether it's just the GPS coordinates being fed into a lonely, overworked GPU, or if the Matrix-level reality includes actual sensor data. Meanwhile, the obligatory GitHub link is tossed into the mix like a life preserver in the middle of a data ocean, with hopes it might save a few souls brave enough to enter these turbulent waters. The bystanders cheer, the complexities loom, and the waters of "Open Science" inch closer to boiling, one misunderstood project at a time. 🤖💨
38 points by jonbaer 2024-08-08T20:40:21 | 3 comments
10. ▲ How we migrated onto K8s in less than 12 months (figma.com)
**How we migrated onto K8s in less than 12 months**

In an exhilarating 12-month mad dash, a valiant team of tech wizards somehow stuffs their entire infrastructure into the latest tech piñata: Kubernetes. As expected, no one mentions the performance roulette that unfolded post-migration, because who cares about speed when you’re this cool? Commenters reminisce about the good ol' days of microservice meltdowns and dependency loops as if they're swapping war stories. Spoiler: they're still not Google, Netflix, or Facebook - but don't tell them that! 🐢💥
126 points by ianvonseggern 2024-08-08T16:07:54 | 149 comments
11. ▲ Harmonic Function Theory (axler.net)
Harmonic Function Theory: A Glaring Beacon of Nostalgia in a Digital Desert

The year is 2001—a simpler time when dinosaurs (Springer's actual target customer) roamed the Earth and "downloading a PDF" was the height of illicit thrill. Here we find a dusty tome on harmonic functions, cunningly trapped within the unprintable bars of a PDF fortress, an approach so sweetly antiquated that one can't help but chuckle. Beneath its digital veil lies a tragic echo of the yearning to 'hold' knowledge, literally. Bewitched, let us frolic through math land with the HTML-linked 'Mathematica' as if anyone actually bothers with anything but pirated MATLAB scripts. Fans in the comments triumphantly mix nostalgia with naivety, proposing grand coding projects for a world that has already left them behind. 😂 An old school charm offensive where even the 'free' isn't truly free—academic altruism or just another way to sell a paperweight? Wink, wink indeed.
28 points by ibobev 2024-08-03T16:15:36 | 5 comments
12. ▲ Charge Robotics (YC S21) is hiring MechEs to build robots that build solar farms (ycombinator.com)
At Charge Robotics, the wizards of tomorrow are hard at work on robots that build other robots...no wait, robots that build solar farms. Because nothing says "Silicon Valley savior complex" quite like mechanizing one bottleneck to ostensibly solve another. Forgot skilled labor! Who needs humans when you have 🤖 giant robots 🤖 and the promise of *significant equity compensation*? Comment sections are ablaze with armchair CEOs and green tech enthusiasts who've all apparently graduated summa cum laude from MIT in YouTube Commenting, convinced they're just one robot away from single-handedly halting climate change. Keep up, sheeple, the robot-overlords-in-training are here!
0 points by 2024-08-08T22:13:46 | 0 comments
13. ▲ Ask QN: Should we bring software dev in-house?
Today on Hacker News, armchair CEOs convene to transform a 20-person company into a software powerhouse, or at least debate furiously about it as if they've all mastered this dark art. One commenter, after presumably toggling off their superhero cape, nobly shares their success story of in-house development, unknowingly igniting a freelance vs CTO holy war in the replies. Each response is more sanctimonious than the last, liberally sprinkled with unsolicited resumes and cringeworthy email drops. Surely, with such a bevy of unsolicited advice, our OP is now fully equipped to navigate the perilous seas of software development bureaucracy and email clutter. 🚀💻📧
243 points by 45HCPW 2024-08-05T13:43:40 | 222 comments
14. ▲ Mysteries of the Griffin iMate and the Apple Extended Keyboard II (projectgus.com)
In a realm where crusty old keyboards are resurrected for the sake of nostalgia, one blogger digs out the venerable Apple Extended Keyboard II—a holy relic for those who worship at the altar of tactile feedback. The keyboard, coated in an archaeological layer of 1990s grime, receives a 'birthday,' apparently a key rite in the revival of dead plastic. Commenters dive into a technical abyss, debating the nuances of battery sizes and keypress limits with the zeal of scholars interpreting ancient scrolls, all while sidestepping the profound existential question: why? 💾🕹️ Meanwhile, revelations about the subpar durability of $250 modern clones spark a philosophical debate about the value of comfort over cost, holding court over what constitutes a 'good value' in the disposable keyboard cult.
65 points by fanf2 2024-08-05T11:42:03 | 19 comments
15. ▲ The Miniature Engineering Craftsmanship Museum (craftsmanshipmuseum.com)
In an exhilarating display of redundant engineering, John Swartzwelder has managed to repeat himself not once, not twice, but at least four thrilling times in crafting minuscule multi-cylinder aircraft engines that most toddlers could probably cough up in their sleep. 🛩️ Meanwhile, commentators laud Joe's book for 'teaching machining,' which conveniently also promotes his fancy tool line. 💸 But don’t forget the family fun! One brave soul dragged their bewildered offspring to this riveting engineering extravaganza, only to have them participate in scavenger hunts presumably designed to find their way out. 🕵️‍♂️
20 points by mhb 2024-08-08T21:48:48 | 3 comments
16. ▲ How we found and fixed an eBPF Linux kernel vulnerability (bughunters.google.com)
Welcome to the carnival of comfort known as **"DIY Kernel Patching: eBPF Edition"**. Here, intrepid Google bug hunters play whack-a-mole with Linux vulnerabilities, armed only with the indomitable eBPF. Predictably, the comment section transforms into the geek equivalent of "My dad can beat up your dad," with enthusiasts debating the existential dread of privilege escalation like it's the latest Yeezy drop. Meanwhile, reminders pop up like acne, noting that unless you're hosting the digital equivalent of a hippie commune in your kernel, these bugs are less 'catastrophic meltdown' and more 'another Tuesday in Linux land'. 🐧💻😱
225 points by xxmarkuski 2024-08-08T10:39:06 | 42 comments
17. ▲ The First Medieval Electronic Instrument Plays Sounds of Lutes and More (openculture.com)
The "Historically Accurate" Synthesizer for Ye Olde Audiophiles 🎸🛡️

It's 2024, and the medieval gadget arms race has peaked—cue the EP-1320, a medieval-themed sampler that buzzes, beeps, and probably costs more than a horse. Because nothing screams authentic like hearing "Greensleeves" through the filter of pricey, high-end electronics. Over at Medeltidsveckan, it’s not enough to jest, joust, and drink mead; now, we can appreciate synthetic lute tunes while debating which century had the best firmware updates. Behold, history buffs and technophiles unite, loudly proclaiming, "Take my silver!" as if besieging their wallets in a tournament of spending.
19 points by miles 2024-08-08T20:21:45 | 0 comments
18. ▲ A Better Light Source for Scanning Color Negative Film (jackw01.github.io)

A Breakthrough No One Asked For: Scanning Color Negative Film with RGB


In an exhilarating display of solving problems no one realized existed, a new blog post prattles on about using narrowband RGB light sources for scanning color negative film—an approach apparently revolutionary to exactly the kind of person who insists on 27 different types of lens cleaner. The devout commenters, digital paladins of obsolete tech, dive headfirst into a technical melee, squabbling over color fidelity with the kind of passion usually reserved for Star Wars fanfic debates. Suggestions of esoteric hardware modifications flow like cheap wine at a book club. Everyone agrees on the utter majesty of "minimal post-processing," while casually dropping reminders of their own vast experience in darkrooms or the tragically hip "I shoot film" flex.


Meanwhile, the real world continues blissfully unaware that scanning color negatives is neither an Olympic sport nor a high-stake stock market gamble. But sure, let’s tweak those sliders, champ. 🎞️💡
199 points by eloisius 2024-08-06T04:58:59 | 67 comments
19. ▲ Eyechat (neal.fun)
Welcome to Eyechat, the latest entrancing gimmick born from Neal's endless vault of distraction. A safe bet for suckers lured by the potential of falling in love via algorithmic staring contests, while simultaneously giving up their facial data for a simple I/O game. Commenters oscillate between deification of Neal's divine time-management and inexhaustible creativity, and the baffling mystery that remains regarding his monetization strategy—or lack thereof. Will the real Neal please stand up, or at least hire some interns to answer these increasingly existential questions? 🤑😍🕵️‍♂️
139 points by seatac76 2024-08-05T23:23:17 | 63 comments
20. ▲ Thoughts on Canonical S-Expressions (2019) (emacsen.net)
In the whimsical world of "Canonical S-Expressions," a software developer discovers a formatting style that's about as revolutionary as reheating last night’s pizza. Commenters, enamored by the exotic allure of bytes pretending to be useful, dive deep into comparisons with every serialization format they half-remember from a late-night coding session. One brave soul suggests **bencoding**—because recycling tech from the early 2000s is apparently back in vogue. Meanwhile, others philosophically ponder if this could replace C or assembly, drawing bemused facepalms from anyone who knows that apples aren't oranges, no matter how you serialize them. 🙄
31 points by shoggouth 2024-08-07T21:47:52 | 6 comments
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