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1. ▲ AMD's Strix Point: Zen 5 Hits Mobile (chipsandcheese.com)

AMD's Strix Point: A Mobile Marvel or Just Another Battery Buster?


Chips and Cheese delivers yet another earth-shattering breakthrough in the monotonous world of processor comparisons, this time pitting AMD’s new Zen 5 mobile chip against the unassailable behemoths of Apple and ARM. Surprising absolutely nobody but the comment sections’ finest armchair engineers, the latest Strix Point manages to stay awake almost as long as laptops running on fairy dust and unicorn dreams. Everyone's shocked—shocked!—to discover AMD isn't just tossing out silicon scrap but might actually give your precious MacBooks a run for their money, albeit probably still stopping for a recharge. Meanwhile, the commenters are squabbling about nanometers and corporate cash like it’s a high-stakes poker game, revealing the truly crucial info you needed: whose tech-wallet is fatter.
82 points by klelatti 2024-08-10T21:18:51 | 29 comments
2. ▲ I Created 175 Fonts Using Rust (chevyray.dev)
Today, a brave soul unveils their heroic journey of using the Rust programming language to concoct a groundbreaking *175 fonts*. Each glyph, forged in the crucible of over-engineering, promises to revolutionize the way we misread emails and poorly designed logos. The comment section is alight with both bewildered graphic designers and Rust aficionados, united in their confusion yet divided by the age-old question: "But why?" Marvel as both camps further entrench themselves in a war over tool superiority, meticulously missing the point with each passerby. 🎨💻
17 points by azhenley 2024-08-10T23:52:44 | 0 comments
3. ▲ Things I Won't Work With: Dimethylcadmium (2013) (science.org)
Title: Scientists Sniff Out Danger, Commenters Inhale Confusion

At science.org, the intellectually brave explore the stenches of chemical hell—this week featuring Dimethylcadmium, a substance that reeks of metallic horror and offers a free pass to the afterlife for its describers. Commenters, in a valiant display of missing the point, dodge the toxic fumes to squabble over dark chocolate cadmium content, inadvertently revealing more about American diet dangers than the FDA ever intended. Armed with links and percentages, they dissect reports with the precision of a drunk surgeon, leaving readers enlightened about everything except the actual topic. Meanwhile, a stray suggestion to cleanse soils with silica aerogels diverts the remaining sane readers down a rabbit hole of agricultural alchemy, proving once again that no article is too focused to spawn a wildly unrelated internet debate. 🍫💀🌿
122 points by Bluestein 2024-08-10T19:11:39 | 72 comments
4. ▲ Stapler: I remade a 32 year old classic Macintosh app (gingerbeardman.com)
### A Whole New App to Do What Old Apps Did

In a nostalgic burst of productivity, a developer on gingerbeardman.com manages to recreate a 32-year-old Macintosh relic called Stapler, because apparently, moving mouse cursors is too much work in 2023. Meanwhile, the Hacker News crowd, ever eager to discuss anything that might save them from the burden of remembering what their apps do, erupts in enthusiasm. One bright eyed commenter introduces a similar, yet featureless tool, hoping to snag some of that sweet, sweet validation by association. Another, lost in a world where manual window resizing is an intolerable injustice, dreams of a perfect desktop utopia. Somewhere, a macOS engineer silently weeps into their ergonomically perfected keyboard. 🖥️🔧😭
38 points by msephton 2024-08-10T21:03:04 | 10 comments
5. ▲ OpenSnitch is a GNU/Linux interactive application firewall (github.com/evilsocket)
Welcome to the latest "game changer" in the never-ending quest of the open source community to make GNU/Linux even more impenetrable to normal humans: OpenSnitch. Describing itself as "inspired" by Little Snitch (because the best innovation is copying what works on a Mac, poorly), this application will barrage you with more pop-ups than a shady torrent site each time you dare to connect to the internet. According to the cutting-edge minds in the comments, spending your entire day configuring firewall rules is a small price to pay for the illusion of control over your machine’s communications. Meanwhile, debates rage on whether optimizing for the KDE Plasma desktop or debating GNOME implementation is the real issue at hand. Forget about productivity, micro-managing network connections is the real work! 😱🔥
251 points by dp-hackernews 2024-08-10T14:15:52 | 55 comments
6. ▲ Our Founder – Momofuku Ando (nissin.com)
In a stunning display of historical misadventure, nissin.com treats its readers to the entrepreneurial rollercoaster of Momofuku Ando, a man whose drive to invent something _revolutionary_ led him to produce... instant noodles. Meanwhile, the commenters dive into a gripping cultural analysis, wondering if the museum dedicated to these gourmet salt cylinders is worthwhile, and one bright soul finally connects the dots between "Momofuku" and that peachy-keen ramen chef. Dive into the eclectic world of "noodle beings," a term surely pending trademark by Nissin, as another enlightened netizen recommends manga for your noodle-slurping pleasure. 🍜💡📚
60 points by rawgabbit 2024-08-09T16:24:28 | 11 comments
7. ▲ The surveilled society: Who is watching you and how (rnz.co.nz)
**The Panopticon Playlist: Who’s Peeking at Your Groceries?**

In an eye-opening exposé that absolutely no one asked for, RNZ's Phil Pennington unveils the shocking truth: cameras exist and are looking at things. 😱 From the terrifying realm of supermarket checkouts to the dystopian nightmare of bus windshields, your every move could be monitored to ensure you're buying the right brand of cereal. Commenters, in a rare display of collective genius, manage to both miss the point and invent new conspiracy theories. What a time to be paranoid! 🕵️‍♂️👀
17 points by billybuckwheat 2024-08-11T00:20:41 | 0 comments
8. ▲ Show QN: Pg_replicate – Build Postgres replication applications in Rust (github.com/supabase)
Title: Show HN: Pg_replicate – Build Postgres replication applications in Rust

Welcome to yet another episode of "It already exists but I rewrote it in Rust so praise me!" Today's exhibit: *pg_replicate*, a shiny tool that liberates Postgres data at *astonishing* speeds (or so we're told) straight into every engineer’s favorite output: the console. Wave goodbye to the painstaking chore of understanding how things work under the hood—Rust comforts you with warm, fuzzy abstractions over the gnarly bits! Meanwhile in HN comment land, enthusiasts who once built a half-functioning PostgreSQL toy are now swooning over Rust's ability to replicate problems just as efficiently as databases. Who knew re-creating wheel number 451 could be such a collective delight? 🎉💾
121 points by imor80 2024-08-10T15:00:41 | 10 comments
9. ▲ Interval parsing grammars for file format parsing (2023) (acm.org)
On ACM.org, another brave soul ventures into the arcane abyss of "Interval Parsing Grammars" as a method to decode the eldritch horrors of file formats. The lofty paper promises to revolutionize how your PDFs don’t open correctly, imbued with enough jargon to befuddle the bravest of software engineers. A cadre of commenters, armed with their PhDs in hindsight, eagerly dismantle the author's life work, each contributing their own crucial fix like suggesting reversing a for-loop to enhance performance. Meanwhile, the real world quietly continues to use regex and stackoverflow.com as the true backbone of civilization.
88 points by fanf2 2024-08-10T17:42:02 | 19 comments
10. ▲ A wonderful coincidence or an expected connection: why π² ≈ g (roitman.io)
**A Mathematical Miracle or Just Plain Math?**

No better way to revive the trauma of high school physics than by dangling the uncanny resemblance between π² and g in front of us. Apparently, our beloved constant π (you know, the circle guy) squared, just-so-happens to be a near match to g, Earth’s acceleration due to gravity. Who could have guessed? Commenters are falling over themselves, torn between calling it divine providence and screaming statistical anomaly. Because nothing screams thrilling like two slightly similar numerical values! Are we learning yet or just having a coincidence party? 🥳
355 points by signa11 2024-08-10T12:24:54 | 237 comments
11. ▲ How the SNES Graphics System Works (fabiensanglard.net)
In an awe-inspiring display of nostalgic overkill, Fabien Sanglard tears apart the SNES graphics system as if modern gaming hasn't progressed beyond 16-bit sprites. Aspiring tech historians and basement-bound retro gamers drool over pixel pipelines and mode 7 graphics, ejaculating technical jargon in the comments like it’s the key to unlock the 90s time capsule. The collective technical insight, generously interspersed with self-congratulatory back-patting, could be mistaken for a lost art form resurrected by the high priests of obsolete technology. Meanwhile, anyone born after 1995 scrolls on, unamused and bewildered by the ancient runes glorified by graying Gen Xers. 🕹️👴💾
44 points by ingve 2024-08-10T05:48:43 | 3 comments
12. ▲ A/B testing mistakes I learned the hard way (posthog.com)
In another heart-stopping installment from posthog.com, a brave keyboard warrior recounts the harrowing tale of A/B testing mistakes I learned the hard way. Marvel as they reveal, through a haze of basic statistics, that yes, sometimes tests go wrong – a stunning revelation bound to destabilize the tech world. Commenters, ever the helpful gnomes, eagerly one-up each other with personal anecdotes about their statistically insignificant achievements. Who needs a stats textbook when you have the collective un-wisdom of the comment section at your fingertips? 📊🔥
27 points by Lior539 2024-08-07T11:45:23 | 4 comments
13. ▲ US FDA approves nasal spray alternative to EpiPen for allergic reactions (reuters.com)
Title: US FDA Endorses Spritzing Yourself Conscious

In an era-defining leap from stabbing to spritzing, the FDA has bravely approved a nasal spray that apparently works wonders against allergies and doesn't look as terrifying as the EpiPen. “Hold the needle!” cry the Redditors, whose highlights of pharmacological wisdom reveal a profound relief that now even the needle-phobes can administer life-saving meds without enduring fainting spells or accidental stabbings. But wait—there's more! This miracle mist survives extreme un-air-conditioned environments and boasts an epic shelf life, unlike its delicate predecessor. Only in America could the phrase "just shove it up your nose" become an acceptable medical strategy. 🤧💉🚫
83 points by sweca 2024-08-10T21:30:46 | 19 comments
14. ▲ Imagining a personal data pipeline (joshcanhelp.com)
**Title: Imagining a personal data pipeline (joshcanhelp.com)**

Another *thought leader* decides to tackle the ever-so-complex issue of personal data hoarding. 📊🔍 The author, in an impressive display of navel-gazing, details his thrilling journey through the wilderness of his own data collection, barely concealing his horror at the monstrous pile of digital detritus he’s amassed. Meanwhile, the comment section turns into a sobering battleground where self-declared experts compete for the title of "Most Paranoid About Privacy." Each comment more alarmingly speculative than the last, the only consensus reached is that everyone is out to get their precious data breadcrumbs. 🕵️‍♂️👾
25 points by surprisetalk 2024-08-07T18:06:44 | 7 comments
15. ▲ Animated Film Making Process (disneyanimation.com)
In an earth-shattering expose on the nuances of animation, Disney reveals that making a film is, shockingly, a process that involves multiple people and goes step-by-step. Tremble in awe as you discover that "Wish" is not magically summoned into existence but is, in fact, composed of sequences - some as long as a whole six minutes! Dive into the comments where dedicated fans argue relentlessly over which of the 59 shots in Sequence 100 is the pinnacle of cinematic achievement, and a few brave souls pretend to toggle between left and right eye images, believing they've unlocked the secret to the ultimate 3D experience. 🎬👀
26 points by oumua_don17 2024-08-09T18:30:18 | 0 comments
16. ▲ Shanghai's Automotive Metamorphosis (arun.is)
Welcome to another thrilling episode of **"How I Missed the Technological Boat: Shanghai Edition."** In 2005, our hero arrives in the big city with nothing but an archaic iPod—already a museum piece. Fast forward to the future, a whopping 18 years later, and he's bamboozled by a QR code at a *coffee shop* 🙄. The real question isn't how much Shanghai has changed, but how someone can write 6 minutes worth of prose about forgetting a charger and being flustered by basic digital payments. Comments section is a delightful mix of nostalgic technophobes and car enthusiasts who are just here to talk about Teslas instead of cultural techno-shock. 🚗💨
23 points by surprisetalk 2024-08-10T03:16:14 | 7 comments
17. ▲ Algorithmic price-fixing of rents is here (theatlantic.com)
**The Great Algorithmic Rent Gouge™️**

Welcome to the future of rent, where chatty algorithms decide whether you can afford next month’s rent or have to live in your car. According to a groundbreaking exposé, these digital overlords, courtesy of RealPage, are now setting rent prices—not through shady smokey room deals, but through cold, hard, unfeeling code. Critics are calling it "AI-enabled price-fixing," but RealPage insists it’s just helping landlords extract maximum dollars from your thinning wallet. Meanwhile, the comment sections are bustling with tales of rent hikes, economic despair, and renters’ revolts, with every keyboard warrior convinced their anecdotal evidence is the magic bullet to end corporate greed. Spoiler: it isn’t. 🏠💸📈
40 points by jtotheh 2024-08-10T22:11:24 | 19 comments
18. ▲ DEF CON's response to the badge controversy (reddit.com)
At DEF CON, the venerated conjuration of locksmith hobbyists and shower-averse cryptographers, a new badge design sets off a firestorm of fury more typically reserved for discussions about which 90s anime had the most realistic hacking. A Reddit thread overflows with the kind of technical nitpicking that can only come from people who have strong opinions about the best brand of basement dehumidifier. One user, presumably typing from a bunker, declares the badges a “blight upon the very soul of hacking,” while others engage in a semantic deathmatch over the difference between a controversy and a mere kerfuffle. Meanwhile, the rest of the internet continues to be wrong about everything.
182 points by mmastrac 2024-08-10T19:07:23 | 148 comments
19. ▲ A 1940 Letter of André Weil on Analogy in Mathematics (2003) [pdf] (ams.org)
In an exhilarating blast from the past, a 1940 letter from André Weil surfaces, revealing that mathematicians have been overthinking simple concepts for far longer than anyone cared to admit. Watch in awe as Weil elucidates the groundbreaking idea of using analogies in mathematics, an approach surely akin to the invention of sliced bread in its novelty and complexity. The comment section, a notorious battleground of misplaced intellectual superiority, lights up with enthusiasts who believe referencing Weil in casual conversation will finally make them interesting. As intellectuals spar over the nuances of an 83-year-old letter, society eagerly anticipates their next great contribution to missing the point. 🧐
68 points by gone35 2024-08-07T07:31:12 | 16 comments
20. ▲ OneText (YC W23) is hiring a lead TypeScript/Node engineer (gist.github.com)
🚀 *OneText*, the latest YC plaything, is desperate for a lead TypeScript/Node engineer to save them from their explosive, unmanageable growth. Because, as everyone knows, the best way to solve your scaling woes is to throw more bodies into the chaos, right? Commenters are tripping over themselves to drop 🔥 takes on why TypeScript is either the second coming of Jesus or the tech equivalent of reheated pizza. Meanwhile, OneText remains adorably clueless that *fast-paced* and *sustainable* are mutually exclusive in startup land. Email your resume into the void at engjobs@onetext.com if self-inflicted agony sounds like your cup of over-caffeinated, startup brew! 🙃
0 points by 2024-08-10T17:00:01 | 0 comments
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