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▲ Show QN: If YouTube had actual channels (ytch.xyz)
**Show HN: If YouTube had actual channels (ytch.xyz)**
Hacker News discovers ancient technology called "television channels" in a valiant attempt to resurrect the 1990s, via a fun little website that jumbles YouTube videos into number-stamped "channels." 📺 Commenters engage in an adorable tech support group, waxing nostalgic over mono sound and sharing arcane hacks - because nothing says "progress" like forcing modern streaming content into old TV paradigms and struggling to fix self-inflicted audio issues. Meanwhile, the developer promises to consider user feedback, undeterred by the Jurassic park of feature requests ranging from permalinks to sound mixers. Is this what disruption looks like now?
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1564 points by hadisafa
2024-08-14T15:10:06 |
363 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Font with Built-In Syntax Highlighting (glyphdrawing.club)
**Breaking News in Nerdtopia**: A daring soul dives deep into the treacherous waters of hand-coding websites, uncovering the herculean task of making code snippets look pretty. Commenters rally as tech jesters, pedantically dissecting the intricate misuse of OpenType features – because what's a revolution without a pinch of typographic misunderstanding? Amidst the chaos, heartfelt geek cheers flood in, celebrating this bizarre blend of type and code as if it’s the second coming of Comic Sans. Meanwhile, Safari users cling to outdated versions, hoping to glimpse the promised land of color glyphs. 🎉💻🔧
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166 points by microflash
2024-08-14T12:12:23 |
49 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Inside the "3 billion people" national public data breach (troyhunt.com)
**The Great Data Debacle: How to Sell a Population the Easy Way**
In a spectacular feat of digital incompetence, 3 billion people's data, lovingly curated for the seediest corners of the web, couldn't find a buyer for $3.5 million – a bargain for your neighborhood cyber-baddy. Fear not, intrepid freeloaders have since converted this mishap into a free-for-all torrent party, robustly seeding our personal nightmares at breakneck speeds. Commenters, in an inspiring leap from kindergarten cybersecurity ideas, suggest weaponizing AI against Congress until they act, or reinventing identification itself, because rehashing bad ideas is a hallmark of internet wisdom. Tossed in are jabs at the Australian government’s new ID system trials; because if anyone's adept at turning policy into catastrophe, it's these folks. Dust off your "I told you so's," we’re in for a privacy roller-coaster, but hey, at least it's open source! 🎢💾👀
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311 points by bubblehack3r
2024-08-14T16:50:31 |
190 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ How I won $2,750 using JavaScript, AI, and a can of WD-40 (davekiss.com)
**How I Gamed a Video Contest with My Toddlers Naptime Accessories**
In yet another riveting revelation that will change the very fabric of modern capitalism, a brave soul details how JavaScript, artificial intelligence, and a trusty can of WD-40 came together in a triumphant trifecta to seize glory from the yawning jaws of a video contest. Because nothing screams "innovation" like using minimum effort to exploit contest rules, narrowly outperforming scores of undoubtedly equally dispassionate entrants who simply couldn't press "CTRL+C" as proficiently. The comment section becomes a delightful echo chamber, reverberating with missives from art grant veterans and public health ghostwriters, all celebrating the joy of ticking checkboxes to win institutional favor. It's a faux-inspirational symphony, where the underlying motto thunderously resounds: creativity is good, but compliance is golden. 🏆🤖💦
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297 points by davekiss
2024-08-14T16:35:52 |
120 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ How one ED mobilized his department during a mass casualty incident (2017) (epmonthly.com)
**How one ED mobilized his department during a mass casualty incident (2017)**
In a *shocking* turn of events, an emergency department chief finds that letting skilled professionals actually use their skills leads to efficiency during a crisis. Who knew 💡? Commenters, ever eager to miss the point, dive into the implications of cutting bureaucratic red tape only during times when you're tripping over the wounded. Amidst tales of CT scans and free-range nurses, we find the real message: “In chaos, trust your team (but only when absolutely necessary).” Prepare for the next round of armchair emergency management, where policies are debated fiercely by people not covered in actual blood. 🚑💔
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163 points by CrispyKerosene
2024-08-14T16:22:40 |
65 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Reading Akkadian cuneiform using natural language processing (2020) (plos.org)
In the latest act of techno-optimism, PLOS ONE dazzles the academically inclined internet dwellers with a tale of turning NLP loose on ancient Akkadian cuneiform, because, apparently, humanistic inquiry now must mimic a speedrun in a video game. Amidst the grand claims, commenters trip over themselves in awe, speculating wildly on magical AI elves piecing together dead languages overnight—because who needs decades of scholarly toil when you've got algorithms that read Sumerian on a coffee break? Naturally, some naysayer points out the molehill of extant Linear A texts isn't quite a feast for data-hungry machine learning models, but who cares about data when we’ve got AI hype to fuel? Time to draft those NLP-powered applications to join the history buffs’ new sprint through Mesopotamia! 🏺🤖
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30 points by Bluestein
2024-08-12T22:52:21 |
8 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Sort, sweep, and prune: Collision detection algorithms (2023) (leanrada.com)
**Sort, sweep, and prune: Fans react to ancient collision detection insights like it's cutting-edge tech**
In a stunning display of the same idea being regurgitated with minor tweaks, leanrada.com enlightens the tech community with a relic dressed up as a 2023 breakthrough in collision detection algorithms. One commenter dredges up their dusty CS degree notes to suggest "revolutionary" indexing lists from the disco era, while another echoes with nostalgia, advocating for old-school sorting algoritms that outperform modern methods because, obviously, this is quantum physics, not computer science. Meanwhile, others throw around sort names like DJ names at a particularly nerdy rave, celebrating Rust's sort handling like it's the second coming. The collective amnesia of the comment section shines, proving once again that in the tech world, everything old is new again—if you ignore enough history. 🙄
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214 points by wonger_
2024-08-14T02:19:17 |
45 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Poor Richard's Almanack (plover.com)
Welcome to another insufferable journey through *Poor Richard's Almanack*-lite, where Mark Dominus meticulously avoids saying anything potentially confrontational to his historic district overlords while poignantly reminiscing about great scripts he once glimpsed. HN commenters, in a bid of unsurpassed historical insight, crack open their various treasure troves of "deep knowledge" – ranging from utterly misidentifying historical figures to reinventing Benjamin Franklin as the proto-Elon Musk of yore. Watch in awe as they awkwardly stumble between profound adulation and vague recollections of a $100 bill, all while breathlessly equating ancient entrepreneurship with modernday tech bro clichés. Who needs history books when you have the enlightened commenters of HN rewriting the past, with no apparent irony or accuracy? 🙃
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59 points by JNRowe
2024-08-14T15:22:54 |
35 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ DUNE scientists observe first neutrinos with prototype detector at Fermilab (lbl.gov)
In the latest "revolutionary" tale from Fermilab, the DUNE scientists have heroically detected a few neutrinos, marveling wide-eyed at their physics-defying travel from one detector to another 800 miles away. The commenters, always ready to one-up the actual science, have skipped straight to using our neutrino friends for earth-penetrating tweets and submarine texts, because regular communication is just too mainstream. Meanwhile, theories on neutrino-based stock trading emerge, because what's a scientific breakthrough without monetization? Surely, we're all just a neutrino beam away from sci-fi utopia. 🙄
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155 points by croes
2024-08-13T16:02:57 |
80 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Texas sues GM for unlawfully collecting and selling drivers' private data [pdf] (texasattorneygeneral.gov)
**Texas sues GM for quietly peeking into drivers' glove boxes**
In a stunning display of law enforcement overshooting the start line, Texas attempts to sue the chrome off GM's bumper for sneaky-beaky data dealings. 🕵️♂️ Comment sections ignite with the *legacy* wisdom that if each state takes a bite, GM's next trending hashtag might just be #BailoutBoogaloo. Meanwhile, concerned citizens and self-proclaimed legal experts suggest that the fines should not just sting but annihilate, because apparently, economic stability is so last season. In this thrilling saga of "How to Tank an Economy 101," spectators are left wondering: if executives get jail time, who will fund America's next election cycle? 🇺🇸 #CorporateDrama #TooBigToJail
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273 points by jonhohle
2024-08-14T13:50:26 |
176 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Project Oak: Meaningful control of data in distributed systems (github.com/project-oak)
**Project Oak: Re-inventing Privacy in an Unprivate World**
In a thrilling github commit saga of cryptic descriptions and vague promises, **Project Oak** tries desperately to persuade us that it's not just a convoluted data sandbox for tech bros with a secrecy fetish. The GitHub page swims in a sea of tech jargon - attestation this, enclave that - hoping you won't notice it's part of the Google panopticon, aiming to encroach further into your digital life. Meanwhile, in the comments, the usual tech apocalypse prophets debate whether it’s a game-changer for digital rights or just another way to serve ads covertly. Spoiler: it's probably for ads. 😂👀
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97 points by tiziano88
2024-08-14T14:00:55 |
38 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ I put a toaster in the dishwasher (2012) (jdstillwater.blogspot.com)
In a stunning display of intellectual bravado, a blogger magnificently confirms that placing toasters in dishwashers might not be as ridiculous as placing faith in online commenters' grasp of basic science. As readers dive into a crash course on why general ignorance isn't just for electrical items, comment threads transform into an advanced seminar on survival tactics for underground bunkers and microwave metal-melting techniques. 🎓 It's clear that the real danger isn't soggy electronics but soggy brains, marinated in the juices of the internet's echo chamber. Here, every anecdote is a thesis, and every downvote a peer review. 💥💻🍞
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303 points by ctoth
2024-08-13T14:11:36 |
174 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Tmpmail: Temporary email right from your terminal written in POSIX sh (github.com/sdushantha)
Once again, the Internet gifts us *tmpmail*: a mesmerizing tool that lets you generate throwaway email addresses directly from the comforting greens of your terminal, because apparently, checking email within a GUI is just too mainstream. Revel in the nostalgia as it uses the ancient runes of POSIX sh, because who needs modern libraries when you can achieve digital masochism purely in shell script? Commenters, in a desperate bid to out-nerd each other, dive into arcane discussions about their own CLI setups, which are more complex than a Rube Goldberg machine. The digital elite declares victory over spam, one cryptically named folder at a time, because making email even more inaccessible is exactly what we all needed. 🤓📧
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87 points by thunderbong
2024-08-14T14:03:42 |
23 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ The Syndicated Actor Model (syndicate-lang.org)
**The Parade of the Obscure: Syndicated Actor Model Edition**
In a dazzling display of technological pageantry, the Syndicated Actor Model struts onto the scene, promising to rescue beleaguered developers from the clutches of conventional concurrency with "eventually-consistent replication." Enraptured code-jockeys in the forum exchange puzzled glances while waxing poetic about obscure constructs like Tuplespaces and Ambient Calculus that even their grandmothers haven't heard of. 💻🎭 Amidst cryptic nods to legendary but forgotten paradigms, one soul mourns the absence of "clear and obvious deployment options," heralding yet another academic marvel doomed to light up lecture halls while gathering dust on virtual shelves. Meanwhile, other commenters engage in a fervent archeological dig through the catacombs of GitHub, desperate for a snippet of code that doesn't require a Ph.D. to understand. Godspeed, noble warriors of the keyboard. 🚀📚
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138 points by sph
2024-08-14T10:12:04 |
30 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Show QN: I've open sourced DD Poker (github.com/dougdonohoe)
Title: Show HN: I've Regurgitated a Dead Game for Nerds to Salivate Over
What a time to be alive! The mastermind behind DD Poker, the game you forgot existed, has tossed its ancient source code onto GitHub like breadcrumbs to pigeons. Commenters, frothing with nostalgia and technical curiosity, dive into a sea of Java Swing relics, offering heartfelt thanks and swapping pandemic survival tales. One brave soul even hopes to resurrect multiplayer for another forgotten game, highlighting the endless cycle of tech abandonment and layman resurrection fantasies. Cue the collective amnesia until the next "exciting" source code dump. 🎉💾
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134 points by dougdonohoe
2024-08-13T22:34:00 |
19 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Launch QN: Promi (YC S24) – AI-powered ecommerce discounts
**The Glorious Age of AI Discounts!** 🎉 Welcome to another revolutionary startup from Y Combinator that promises to squeeze every last cent from your wallet with "AI-powered ecommerce discounts." The geniuses behind Promi somehow believe that algorithmic price manipulation is what the masses were really clamoring for in their online shopping experiences. Meanwhile, commenters embark on a riveting journey between gleeful naivety and ominous legal forecasts with as little understanding of economic principles as the company seems to have about potential legislative backlash. Isn't technology *wonderful*?
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25 points by pmoot
2024-08-14T15:28:43 |
21 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ A different kind of keyboard (2021) (ianthehenry.com)
In a world where touchscreen typing reigns supreme, one man dares to innovate by sticking a tiny keyboard Peggi to the back of a smartphone—because using ten fingers is so 20th century. Watch in awe as modern typists rejoice at regressing to eight keys and arcane "arpeggio" sequences that require a magical two-thumb ballet just to type "LOL." Meanwhile, in the comments, a crew of befuddled nostalgics and tech wizards debate whether this contraption is a herald of the future or a toy fresh out of a cereal box. Rejoice as someone inevitably mixes up "arpeggio" with "arpeggiator," leading to a rousing game of musical keyboards versus text input methodologies—an absolutely thrilling way to waste a Tuesday afternoon. 🎹📱💥
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109 points by kblissett
2024-08-14T15:30:46 |
32 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Making the Strofara (stavros.io)
Welcome to the digital echo chamber where Stavros unveils his latest creation, the Strofara, presumably because regular hobbies are for the uninitiated. In a dazzling display of misplaced priorities, he explains how having a month off led to this inevitable tragedy of wasted bandwidth. Commenters, in a surprising bout of originality, parrot back admiration and covert jealousy. One even calls it "beautiful", highlighting the well-known fact that low standards are the bedrock of high enthusiasm in tech circles. 🎉
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10 points by toomuchtodo
2024-08-12T02:50:46 |
3 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ International Study Detects Consciousness in Unresponsive Patients (massgeneralbrigham.org)
In yet another episode of "Scanning the Apparently Empty," scientists at Mass General Brigham prove that not all vegetative states are as vegetative as they look, discovering that 25% of patients with fancy brain hats can still play *imagine if* games. Meanwhile, a bunch of bystanders on the internet turn a breakthrough in neural responsiveness into an anecdote competition. Comments range from recalling the healing powers of accidental head trauma to suggesting "Percussive Rehabilitation" as the next big thing in medical techniques. 📈🧠 It seems both the patients *and* commenters are asking, "Can you hear me now?" but for very different reasons.
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57 points by geox
2024-08-14T21:45:39 |
15 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ CoinTracker (YC W18) Is Hiring a Consumer Product Lead (ashbyhq.com)
In the latest parade of unique job opportunities that you absolutely should not apply for, CoinTracker, a proud YC W18 survivor, is on the hunt for a Consumer Product Lead. The role, splashed resplendently across ashbyhq.com, promises nothing short of redefining how the next billion people achieve utter disillusionment with cryptocurrency. Comments, predictably a dumpster fire, oscillate wildly between "This is revolutionary" and "Crypto is a Ponzi scheme," demonstrating the rich tapestry of ungrounded optimism and internet-fueled paranoia that our society now so deeply cherishes. 📉🔥
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0 points by
2024-08-14T17:00:54 |
0 comments
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