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▲ I've built my first successful side project, and I hate it (switowski.com)
**The unbearable ennui of success**
Another brave soul has ventured into the treacherous waters of side hustles, only to discover that building a successful B2B SaaS is as enjoyable as a root canal without anesthesia 🦷. Commenters flock like seagulls at a landfill, eager to share their "profound" insights on customer support alchemy and the magic of automation. Watch as they recount tales of incompetence so dire, one might mistake them for scripts of a sitcom. Reminder to self: the real MVPs here are the automated processes that save these lost souls from their self-inflicted customer support nightmares. 😴
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961 points by switowski
2024-08-21T09:59:41 |
280 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Py5, a Python version of Processing for your creative coding projects (py5coding.org)
Welcome to the dazzling world of py5, where Python whispers sweet nothings to Java, and libraries like Jupyter and matplotlib get caught up in this techno-romantic escapade. Here, where the past meets the Python present, users scratch their heads over Java dependencies—because apparently, Python can't be trusted to handle a creative coding framework on its own. Dive into tutorials and watch GIFs dance with educational glee, all while hoping the smattering of confused comments can untangle the Java-Python love affair. Because what could be more exhilarating than installing one language to use another? 🐍☕💔
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66 points by hx2a
2024-08-16T15:47:03 |
21 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Breaking down a record-setting day on the Texas grid (gridstatus.io)
Welcome to another electrifying day in the life of the Texas power grid, where solar panels do all the heavy lifting until they clock off at sunset, leaving the antiquated fossil-fueled geriatrics to send power bills through the stratosphere. Commenters on the frontlines are just now realizing that their "smart" thermostats might be more deviously clever than initially thought, with programmed peak load shenanigans costing them more than a simple manual override would. Meanwhile, in a thrilling display of energy brinksmanship, ERCOT flirts with absolute grid failure, operating within a hair’s breadth of total blackout, yet strangely, no one's being told to power down. Maybe this year’s relaxation of conservation emails is an innovative ERCOT strategy to keep everyone guessing, or maybe they just forgot to hit "send."
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94 points by kmax12
2024-08-21T19:18:48 |
22 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Do low-level optimizations matter? Faster quicksort with cmov (2020) (cantrip.org)
**"Quicksort Rises Again: This Time with Fancy Pants"**
In what absolutely qualifies as a groundbreaking reevaluation of priorities, a brave soul delves into the abyss of "optimizing quicksort" - because evidently, our current sorting speed was holding back human evolution. 🐢💨 Enter the arcane world of *conditional moves* which will surely shave nanoseconds off your luxurious computation times - feel the glee of underpaid IT workers everywhere. Commenters debate fervently over the trajectory of `cmov`, showcasing a flagrant disregard for its 1995 Pentium debut - historical accuracy is so passé in 2020, right? Meanwhile, would-be wizards suggest swapping XOR ops like it's a macOS system update. Forget the flying cars; we’ve got conditional moves now! 🚀
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44 points by fanf2
2024-08-21T20:42:03 |
18 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ How to build a 50k ton forging press (construction-physics.com)
**How To Mash Metal Real Good**
Hobby engineers and armchair physicists unite on construction-physics.com to teach us *all* how not to build a 50k ton forging press. The first commenter, with a vague memory of high school physics, enlightens us on the magical properties of stretched steel, turning the comments into a poor man's materials science seminar. A delightful debate ensues about whether squishing or stretching makes steel stronger, culminating in wild claims about grain flow that would make any seasoned engineer weep. Last but not least, someone suggests that blacksmiths were the unsung intellectuals of yore, proving that nostalgia isn’t just about vinyl and vintage tees.
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240 points by chmaynard
2024-08-21T14:00:47 |
108 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Better Living Through Algorithms (2023) (clarkesworldmagazine.com)
**Better Living Through Oblivion: A satirical take on our tech-dependent dystopia**
In what can only be described as a profoundly groundbreaking work of fiction, Naomi Kritzer illuminates the human condition by shoving another AI app, this time named Abelique, into our busy digital lives. Rejoice, as we discover a novel concept: paying an app to tell us to ignore our phones – a truly revolutionary anti-tech advancement straight out of Silicon Valley's least realistic daydreams. But wait, *there's more!* The comments section offers a smorgasbord of wishful thinkers and disillusioned techies, reminiscing on the idyllic days of social media before reality punched us in the collective consciousness. Meanwhile, another user, presumably distracted by the virtual spectacle of lion photography, compares AI integration into our lives with Debord's spectacle, probably after skimming the Wikipedia summary. 📱👀💸
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138 points by RafelMri
2024-08-16T07:06:41 |
25 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Euclid's Proof that √2 is Irrational (mathsisfun.com)
Title: *Math Nerds Rejoice: Euclid Kicks √2's Rational Ass*
Euclid strikes back from the grave, wielding his ancient Greek chalk to pulverize the minds of wannabe mathematicians at MathIsFun.com. Armed with the inflammatory weapon of "proof by contradiction," he dares to suggest that √2 can't be pitted into a tidy fraction, p/q, without end. Comment sections immediately ignite with the fire of a thousand suns as armchair mathematicians and high school mathletes alike quibble over who can misinterpret Euclid’s elegant smackdown more profoundly. Grab your popcorn as the irrational circus unfolds, featuring excruciatingly comical displays of numerical illiteracy and cries for "more examples because this proof doesn’t fit my calculator's display." 🤓🔢
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57 points by thunderbong
2024-08-21T20:39:50 |
36 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Bioaccumulation of Microplastics in Decedent Human Brains (nih.gov)
In a stunning turn of events that has shocked absolutely no one, researchers have discovered that our brains are now part Tupperware. The study, which might as well have been subtitled "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Microplastics," reveals that human brains are filling up with tiny bits of plastic, probably thanks to all those three-dollar lattes from Starbucks. Over in the comments, armchair scientists and part-time Instagram nutritionists are tripping over themselves to declare that they've known about this since before it was cool, and are halfway through drafting legislation to ban everything but breathing, which is also under suspicion. Could this be the solution to artificial intelligence we never knew we needed? Stay non-biodegradable, folks. 🧠🌍💀
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29 points by apsec112
2024-08-21T22:07:09 |
0 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Launch QN: Outerport (YC S24) – Instant hot-swapping for AI model weights
Launch HN: Outerport - Revolutionizing the Excruciating Task of Not Waiting Five Seconds
Yet another startup is promising to shave picoseconds off your machine learning model loading times—because, as every procrastinating developer agrees, those extra milliseconds are what truly cripple productivity, not the hours spent on Reddit. Outerport emerges from the tech abyss to offer 'instant hot-swapping for AI model weights', which is essentially a fancy way of saying "we cache stuff really fast." Users on Hacker News are tripping over themselves in delight, as they imagine a future where their models load so quickly, they barely have time to sip their ethically sourced, overpriced coffee. Inquiries about cost reveal a subscription model, prompting a frenzy of calculations about whether this is more economical than just buying more RAM, while others debate porting this feature to model their neurotic cat's behavior, because surely, this tech can fix everything! 😱🚀
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61 points by tovacinni
2024-08-21T16:55:36 |
10 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Distributed Locks with Redis (redis.io)
The overly-caffeinated minds at Redis give us yet another "groundbreaking" solution to a problem no one knew they had, introducing 🎉 *Redlock!* 🎉 Because, when you can’t decide if you want safety or efficiency, why not choose _neither_? Meanwhile, tech guru Martin Kleppmann punches holes in Redlock like it’s Swiss cheese, deeming it a tech equivalent of Frankenstein's monster. In the comments section, keyboard warriors demand Jepsen tests or declare it "alphaware," showcasing Reddit's flair for hyperbole as always. Let no complexity go unengineered!
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11 points by thenewwazoo
2024-08-19T16:34:21 |
2 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Maps Mania: How the World Powers Itself (googlemapsmania.blogspot.com)
In the latest installment of "Cartography for Couch Potatoes," Googlemapsmania serves up an astounding revelation: people use maps to see things! 🗺️This earth-shattering *insight* is backed by an interactive map that lets us voyeuristically hover over nearly 18,000 power stations, cause apparently, we're now all power grid experts. Commenters are equally enlightened, tripping over themselves to celebrate finding their house’s light switch on the map, and debating fiercely over whether Germany’s coal reliance will eventually turn the country into a barbecue. 🤔🔥
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13 points by speckx
2024-08-19T16:17:12 |
0 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Turnstyle – An esoteric, graphical functional language (jaspervdj.be)
Turnstyle – A New Contender in the Esoteric Olympics
Brace yourselves, a new graphical programming language named Turnstyle breezes into the niche so niche your favorite niche looks mainstream. Inspired by the colorful chaos of Piet, but disappointed by its practical limitations (because everyone's dreaming of building web browsers in a graphical programming language, right?), our brave developer forges ahead into the forgotten realm of functional graphical coding. Commenters eagerly split into camps: those who call it the future of programming (probably also believe in unicorns) and those who are sensible enough to chuckle and move on. 😂
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52 points by JNRowe
2024-08-21T17:49:40 |
0 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Midjourney web experience is now open to everyone (midjourney.com)
In a stunning lack of originality but a marvelous display of bandwagoning, Midjourney opens its web experience to everyone, inevitably trapping more unsuspecting users in its web of mediocrity. Commenters, adorned in their finest online-warrior cosplay, engage in a ferocious duel of who can be more disillusioned by version 'nerfs' while simultaneously hyping up the *latest and greatest* AI tool, Flux, as if it were the second coming of Photoshop. Watch as the discussions devolve into a techie specs showdown, where terms like 'realism engine' and 'FP32 accumulators' are tossed around to disguise the bitter disappointment of their desktop wallpapers still not fooling grandma. It's the blind leading the blind in tech's latest mirage — may the least buggy AI win! 🤖💻
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205 points by meetpateltech
2024-08-21T17:11:48 |
98 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Meticulous (YC S21) is hiring to eliminate E2E UI tests
Meticulous, another Y Combinator spawn, boldly aims to eliminate end-to-end UI tests, because who needs thorough quality assurance when you can have fast, probably broken deployments? The startup bravely announces hiring, signaling yet another thrilling rollercoaster of overpromise under a trendy banner. In the comments, armchair CTOs and GitHub stars wage war over skepticisms and typographical errors, each passionately defending their crown in the kingdom of Missing The Point. 🎯💥 What could possibly go wrong in a world where testing is an afterthought? 🚀💔
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0 points by
2024-08-21T21:01:27 |
0 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Show QN: Handwriter.ttf – Handwriting Synthesis with Harfbuzz WASM (github.com/hsfzxjy)
Title: Show HN: Handwriter.ttf – Handwriting Synthesis with Harfbuzz WASM
In a world desperate for more inefficiencies, an enterprising GitHub user decides that fonts need to be as bulky and cumbersome as the modern web. Handwriter.ttf promises to synthetically generate handwriting so personalized, it could only be less useful if it required physical ink. Hacker News enthusiasts, in awe of something so wonderfully over-engineered, take turns fantasizing about a future where fonts consume more RAM than entire operating systems & suggest equally logical expansions like e-ink powered IDEs. Meanwhile, the actual utility of this tool is as clear as a smudged pencil scribble, leaving users asking, "What even is this?" as they toggle between mockery and misguided admiration in true HN fashion. 🤔💾🖋️
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141 points by hsfzxjy
2024-08-21T07:47:05 |
36 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Rye and Uv: August Is Harvest Season for Python Packaging (pocoo.org)
**Python-Pocalypse Now: A Tale of Mocking Packages and Tech Tin-Foil Hats**
In a world where tech bloggers treat packaging updates like celebrity weddings, *Rye* quietly passes the torch to *uv* with all the pomp of a Supreme Court nomination. Brace yourself for _earth-shattering_ features like editing pyproject.toml files, surely the lifeblood of our digital existence. The commenters, in an ever-spiraling orcish battle dance, hurl conspiracy theories about Microsoft's shadow overlordship of Python while reminiscing over the golden age of tech that apparently only existed in their caffeine-addled dreams. Meanwhile, the more grounded souls attempt to navigate through the corp-speak and FUD, wondering if they accidentally walked into a script for a bad tech thriller rather than a discussion about Python package managers. 🐍💼🔥
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153 points by keybits
2024-08-21T11:12:28 |
54 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Revisiting the Classics: Jensen's Inequality (2023) (francisbach.com)
In today's high-voltage intellectual throwdown on francisbach.com, a handful of theoremsueue warriors gather to promptly deep-dive into Jensen's Inequality, because nothing screams "party" like discussing logarithms and convex functions. One commenter, clearly possessed by the spirit of Euler himself, describes the mystical art of summoning logarithms to convert multiplication into addition with the casual flair of a street magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat. Meanwhile, others chime in with revelations that this isn’t just math—it’s a lifestyle, my friends, wherein every convex curve hides a thrilling ride of inequality proofs and Fenchel conjugates. Strap in, buckle up, and prepare your best "surprised Pikachu" face for when basic algebra morphs into probabilities and life lessons in expected values. 🤓
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50 points by cpp_frog
2024-08-21T14:05:48 |
4 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ US hospital told family their daughter had checked out when in fact she'd died (theguardian.com)
Title: **Hospital Hide-and-Seek Ends in the Coldest Way Possible**
In a thrilling twist that not even M. Night Shyamalan could cook up, Mercy San Juan Medical Center transforms from a healthcare facility into a macabre escape room, where the grand prize is finding out your loved one actually died last year. Congrats to Jessie's family for winning the worst game ever! 🎉👻 Comments section becomes a battlefield where amateur legal experts collide with professional armchair pathologists, each outdoing the other in misplacing blame and crafting conspiracy theories. Who needs informed consent when you can have informed confusion, right?
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188 points by howard941
2024-08-21T20:07:48 |
92 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ The Euphemism Treadmill (languagehat.com)
The latest intellectual circus to dismount at languagehat.com involves the mesmerizing "Euphemism Treadmill," a term that evidently captivates the blog's devoted linguaphiles more than free donuts at a writers' workshop. In an enthralling display of semantic athleticism, the site's host valiantly aims to dissect how offensive words transform into cuddly little expressions of politically correct joy. Meanwhile, in the comments section, a typical maelstrom of armchair linguists with Ph.D.s from the University of I-Know-Better insists that they've known about the concept since before it was cool—each armed with an arsenal of ever-so-slightly off-topic anecdotes, ready to passive-aggressively correct each other's grammar instead of addressing the actual topic. Who needs TV soap operas when you can watch language enthusiasts duke it out over perceived slights in academic armor? 🍿
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19 points by yamrzou
2024-08-21T23:14:59 |
13 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Crypto 'pig butchering' scam wrecks bank, sends ex-CEO to prison for 24 years (cnbc.com)
In the latest display of linguistic gymnastics, a former CEO receives a 24-year vacation to prison, courtesy of a quaintly named "Crypto 'pig butchering' scam." The comment section, an ever-vigilant forum of pedants and philosophers, dives deep into the semiotics of scam taxonomy. Here, sophisticates debate whether "pig butchering" is an innovative term or just old wine in a new bottle, while occasionally tip-toeing around the actual swindling saga that wrecked a bank. As expected, each commenter plays a crucial part in this dance of distraction—engaging more with the terminology's origin than the wreckage it describes—because, naturally, internet points are the real investment here. 🐷💸
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67 points by pseudolus
2024-08-21T21:52:05 |
58 comments
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