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1. ▲ Why am I writing a Rust compiler in C? (notgull.net)
Welcome to yet another episode on "Why am I not just writing everything in C?" Today's amusement comes from a brave soul attempting to bootstrap a Rust compiler using the beloved ancient language of C, a task akin to crafting a WhatsApp group chat that exclusively discusses the weather. Commenters, in a stunning display of missing the point, argue the merits of half-baked Rust and whether removing a borrow checker is akin to skipping leg day at the gym. Watch in real-time as software developers reinvent the wheel, only to realize that square wheels do not, in fact, roll well. 🎡💻
192 points by todsacerdoti 2024-08-25T21:08:06 | 96 comments
2. ▲ Database "sharding" came from Ultima Online? (raphkoster.com)
**Title: Database "sharding" came from Ultima Online? (raphkoster.com)**

In an *astonishing* display of etymological acrobatics, Raph Koster—gaming guru and historical linguist by accident—claims the mantle of coining "sharding" in Ultima Online. The blog-goers and commentariat at raphkoster.com engage in a spirited symphony of nostalgia and quasi-tech punditry that rivals only the most fervent of bar trivia nights. Commenters, demonstrating an impressive commitment to missing the point, reminisce about unrelated debugging adventures and the sound of PC speakers as if debugging methodologies were about to become the new Bitcoin. Meanwhile, someone inevitably confuses Ultima with a retirement plan for database servers. 🎮💾🤷‍♂️
114 points by fanf2 2024-08-25T20:42:02 | 37 comments
3. ▲ TIL: Versions of UUID and when to use them (ntietz.com)
**Hobbyist UUID Aficionados Hold Court: The Endless Versions Debate**

In a blog post that equates UUID intricacies with high art, the author regales us with a tale of onboarding a friend on the mystical world of "different types of UUIDs." Behold, the monumental discovery that **not all versions are created equal**, a fact that stirs the collective minds of commenters into a frenzied analysis of RFCs and personal GitHub repos. One heroic commenter even recounts their odyssey to find the esoteric details of Version 2 UUIDs, weaving through RFC links like a hacker in a cyber thriller. 🔄🔍 Meanwhile, a spectator mournfully wishes for shorter UUIDs, perhaps dreaming of the day when alphanumeric sequences can be both unique and tweetable.💔
159 points by fagnerbrack 2024-08-25T19:05:20 | 72 comments
4. ▲ Strandbeest (strandbeest.com)
Welcome to the future of transportation debates, where the environmentally conscious and the confused mingle to unleash a beast of technical jargon and theoretical scenarios. In today's episode on Strandbeest.com, hobby-engineers clash with amateur environmentalists to _dramatically_ dissect if a terrorizing swarm of mechanical legs could replace our rubber-tire fiends. Commenters bravely battle the laws of physics and common sense, suggesting solutions like wooden clogs for robots and metal feet for behemoth bots that wouldn't care if your grandmother's backyard looks like a WWI battlefield. Will legged leviathans triumph over traditional transport, or will they just scuff up the landscape even more? Stay tuned, but don't hold your breath unless you enjoy the smell of metallic dust and crushed dreams. 🤖🌍💥
301 points by nicopappl 2024-08-25T13:06:08 | 82 comments
5. ▲ Australian employees now have the right to ignore work emails, calls after hours (reuters.com)
Title: Australian Workers Can Now Safely Ignore Boss's Weekend Memos...Sort Of

Summary: In a world-changing event, Australian employees are now legally allowed to ignore after-hours work emails and calls, except when it's not reasonable to do so, thus effectively changing absolutely nothing. Commenters bicker like old church ladies over whether this will usher in a new era of workplace respect or just empower managers to redefine "reasonable" at a whim. Meanwhile, that one guy who's been blissfully ignoring his boss since 2003 remains our unbothered hero. Laws might dictate behavior, but commentators confirm that fear of subtle retaliation still governs the day. 🎉💼🚫
29 points by testrun 2024-08-26T00:08:07 | 12 comments
6. ▲ Pi Pico 2 Extreme Teardown (electronupdate.blogspot.com)
In the latest riveting edition of silicon strip-downs, "Pi Pico 2 Extreme Teardown," the blogging elite deliver a mind-numbing revelation: the power-supply design isn't medieval! 🎉 Commenters, in a display of breathtaking insight, chew over voltages like squirrels with a new kind of nut. Meanwhile, queries about transforming PCB photography into schematics jostle for space among techno-babble about noise tolerance and capacitor speeds. Brace yourself—semiconductor gossip is *absolutely* the thrill you need in your life.
44 points by coder543 2024-08-25T21:01:04 | 17 comments
7. ▲ Olivetti Programma 101: At the Origins of the Personal Computer (inexhibit.com)
In a thrilling exposé that *nobody asked for*, InExhibit reveals how the Olivetti Programma 101 was once everything in computers before Silicon Valley became *cool*. Brace yourselves for nostalgia-blasted tech hipsters reminiscing about how "the first human-centered computer" could barely handle basic arithmetic without a meltdown. As the comment section turns into the usual battleground, witness the epic clash between vintage tech enthusiasts defending the sanctity of Olivetti's ancient circuits and modern-day trolls questioning whether it could even run Doom. Oh, the humanity! 🙄🤖
28 points by rbanffy 2024-08-25T20:20:56 | 0 comments
8. ▲ Y Combinator backs its first defense startup, Ares Industries (techcrunch.com)
In an inspiring leap towards making global annihilation more accessible and budget-friendly, Y Combinator has thrown its weight behind Ares Industries, a plucky startup promising to create cute, cost-effective cruise missiles that can make war as common as ordering a pizza. The enthusiastic YC alumni in Silicon Valley cheer on, dreaming of a world where blowing up stuff can finally scale like software. Commenters engage in lively debates about moral obligations and defense economics, blissfully unaware that their thought-provoking insights are as impactful as a pebble in a missile silo. Meanwhile, some are just here to make sure it's clear that democracy sometimes needs to bomb its way out of or into existence, depending on the day and who’s counting the votes. 🚀💣🤑
42 points by ks2048 2024-08-25T23:40:01 | 15 comments
9. ▲ Lidl's Cloud Gambit: Europe's Shift to Sovereign Computing (horovits.medium.com)
In the latest **European bureaucratic circus**, Lidl decides to juggle with sovereignty and cloud computing, while bystanders wonder if they're watching a magic show or a slow-motion disaster. Commentators dive into the abyss of Gaia-X, discovering it's less about cloud framework and more about how many layers of talk can fit into one document. 🤡 One brave soul tries drawing comparisons to actual tech progress elsewhere, but is quickly reminded by others that Gaia-X is just a very expensive and intricate way to draft documents that could rival War and Peace in length but not in content. Meanwhile, a hopeful commenter considers a career in bureaucratic document-drafting, only to realize that even Kafka couldn't make up this level of absurdity.
253 points by taubek 2024-08-25T16:35:52 | 230 comments
10. ▲ Rnote – Sketch and take handwritten notes (github.com/flxzt)
The programming necromancers at GitHub strike again, evidently deciding that what the world truly needs right now is yet another note-taking app. Enter Rnote, leveraging the be-all-end-all Rust and GTK4 combo to revolutionize the way three people sketch stick figures in their spare time. The excited chatter in the comments where someone heralds it as the second coming for drawing on PDFs is only outdone by the inevitable comparisons to older, equally obscure software that also failed to break into mainstream use. Meanwhile, other commenters bumble around trying to figure out how to use basic features—surely signs of a superior user interface. 🤦‍♂️🎨
120 points by Brajeshwar 2024-08-25T15:51:11 | 16 comments
11. ▲ Police Chief Says Cops Have a 5th Amendment Right to Leave Body Cameras Off (reason.com)

Police Chief Embodies "Above the Law" Stereotype, Amazes Public with Audacity


In a dazzling exhibition of audacity, Albuquerque’s finest Police Chief Harold Medina champions the use of the Fifth Amendment as a cloak for disabling body cameras, sending shockwaves of *eye-rolls* across the nation. Commentators on Reason, a bastion of armchair legal expertise, are aghast that a police officer could twist constitutional rights with the finesse of a circus contortionist. As the virtual ink flows, outraged citizens churn out comments that shine for their unique blend of scathing sarcasm and a charming faith in local politics as the panacea for police overreach. Can we hit pause on constitutional rights or should body cams just keep rolling to capture these golden moments of bureaucratic gymnastics? 📹😂
77 points by heavyset_go 2024-08-25T22:18:02 | 43 comments
12. ▲ Is Telegram really an encrypted messaging app? (cryptographyengineering.com)
**Title: Is Telegram really an encrypted messaging app? (cryptographyengineering.com)**

At cryptographyengineering.com, a hotspot for the academic elite to desperately clarify the basics, the author, compelled by some primal masochistic urge, opts for some "Intellectual Garbage Pickup." 🗑️ They dive into clarifying if Telegram is actually an encrypted fortress as it claims, inspired by the juicy tale of CEO Pavel Durov’s run-in with French cops for not policing his digital playground. Meanwhile, the comment section turns into a hilariously naive tech-support forum where engineering hopefuls ponder if Google can see their kitten GIFs through Telegram messages. According to these cyber-sleuths, if it loads on your screen, Google already knows about it — Privacy is apparently just a setting we all forgot to turn off.
348 points by md224 2024-08-25T19:34:53 | 345 comments
13. ▲ Rollstack (YC W23) Is Hiring TypeScript Engineers – US/Canada (East Coast Only) (ycombinator.com)
🌐 Oh boy, here comes Rollstack (YC W23), boldly promising to revolutionize the scintillating world of data-driven slide decks 📊. Because what humanity truly lacks right now isn't peace or equity, but slicker PowerPoint presentations to jazz up those endless virtual meetings. In their quest to save corporate folks from 'data presentation hell', they seek the top 0.01% of TypeScript engineers, strictly from the US/Canada East Coast—because talent beyond time zones might disrupt the slides' cosmic balance. Comments are bustling with bewildered souls trying to ascertain if they're worthy of enhancing bulleted lists, while half wonder if "Rollstack" is yet another AI ghostwriter penning their existential dread into pie charts. 📉😱
0 points by 2024-08-25T21:34:44 | 0 comments
14. ▲ Getting up close and personal with Concorde, Concordski, and Buran (theregister.com)
Today on The Register, another groundbreaking investigation into ancient aircraft has armchair aerospace engineers hurling Cheetos in excitement. Get ready for a torrid love affair with the long-grounded Concorde, its Russian copycat Concordski, and the Soviet space shuttle Buran, because nothing says "cutting-edge tech news" like machinery that's been collecting dust for decades. Comment sections are ablaze with middle-aged men one-upping each other's nonexistent pilot experiences, fervently arguing over which relic could do a barrel roll in space. If nostalgia were fuel, these commenters could single-handedly power all three crafts back to their heydays.
20 points by LorenDB 2024-08-24T13:23:11 | 0 comments
15. ▲ Pavel Durov and the Blackberry Ratchet (oblomovka.com)
📜 **The Saga of Paul Durov and His Unbreakable Telegram Charm**

In an article seemingly stitched together with leftover Ph.D. thesis terms and the obfuscated jargon that even Cambridge rejects, oblomovka.com delves into why French authorities have pinched Pavel Durov. The theories? Oh, they sprint from FBI vendettas to covert ops for cuddles from Putin, with a casual sidebar into the philosophical indulgences about state anthropomorphism. Meanwhile, the comment section turns into a makeshift war room with armchair generals debating whether Telegram has replaced the Pentagon as the new HQ for drone operations. Because of course, managing an international crisis via emojis and stickers is very postmodern and not at all worrying.
13 points by dannyobrien 2024-08-25T22:23:54 | 3 comments
16. ▲ Linux Pipes Are Slow (qsantos.fr)
**"Linux Pipes Are Slow" - A Tragic Tale of Turtle-Speed Tech**

In today's episode of _why faster isn't always better_, an enthusiastic tech blogger discovers the shocking truth that Linux pipes move data with all the urgency of a snail on sedatives, unless you conjure the magic of "vmsplice". Our hero embarks on a quixotic quest to encode Morse code at blinding speeds, invoking the Fizz Buzz challenge as the pinnacle of modern computational benchmarks 🐢💨. Commenters, in a spirited display of missing the point, either propose solutions akin to putting a Formula 1 engine in a Corolla or engage in thrilling debates about the nuances of system call optimizations that would befuddle even the most caffeinated kernel developer. Will our brave blogger ever achieve Morse code nirvana, or are we doomed to endure endless discussions about buffer sizes and kernel patches? Stay tuned, or don’t—it’s buffers all the way down. 🔄🔁
50 points by qsantos 2024-08-25T16:52:14 | 21 comments
17. ▲ Programming terrain from scratch using C++ and OpenGL by Shamus Young (2006) (shamusyoung.com)
**In the hallowed annals of C++ necromancy, Shamus Young's 2006 trek through programming terrain using OpenGL reemerges, much to the nostalgic delight of middle-aged software developers clinging to the era of graphics when lens flares were still cool and pixelation was just "retro."** Caped in the glory of vintage tech like VistaPro on a Commodore Amiga, our intrepid internet commenters trip down memory lane, misty-eyed over past glories of coding minutiae now largely irrelevant in a sea of user-friendly, high-level programming abstractions. Yet, amidst this archaeological dig into ancient computer lore, we find not just old code but vintage delusions—like porting forgotten screen savers to modern macOS and dreaming that hand-crafted SDFs in GPU shaders merit more than a 2-minute courtesy view in 2023. Shamus would be proud, or at least amused, that his musings on procedural cities and nighttime simulations still stir something in the hearts of commenters who think “Hey, that was cool in my university days!” should probably qualify as an existential crisis trigger warning. 😂
65 points by pathless 2024-08-25T15:32:00 | 13 comments
18. ▲ An AWS IAM Security Tooling Reference (ramimac.me)
Title: *AWS IAM Mazes For Toddlers (Now With More Tools!)*

In the riveting sequel to the 0-times bestseller, our intrepid hero revisits the labyrinthine world of AWS IAM, where even the most seasoned pro feels like a lost toddler. 🍼 The blogger dusts off their four-year-old post and discovers, shockingly, that AWS IAM remains as convoluted as interstellar quantum physics. The audience, droves of beleaguered IT pros, descends into the comments with their torches and pitchforks, jabbing wildly at AWS's Byzantine security model while quietly updating their resumes. Meanwhile, tools with names like Zelkova and Access Analyzer try valiantly (and vainly) to cut through the thicket, providing fleeting glimpses of hope before users get ensnared again by the next mysterious permission error. 🌿🔦
30 points by mariuz 2024-08-25T18:58:19 | 0 comments
19. ▲ Emulating the Early Macintosh Floppy Drive (thomasw.dev)
Title: Emulating the Early Macintosh Floppy Drive: A Comedy of Errors

In a stunning display of niche obscurity, thomasw.dev decides that what the world really needs is a deep dive into the bone-chilling world of vintage Macintosh floppy drives, because, surely, everyone's 2023 started with "understand 1980s floppy tech" at the top of their to-do list. Commenters, in a desperate bid to out-pedant each other, engage in the floppy equivalent of measuring pi to the last digit, dredging up relics like the SWIM chip and ‘Twiggy’ drives as if they're discussing the fate of the free world. One bright spark tries to rename a disk ‘.Sony’ to watch the world burn, while another waxes nostalgic about the Atari ST's floppy prowess, under the comforting glow of their CRT shrine. Between misremembered specs and dates, and some truly atrocious attempts at tech support, it's a whirlwind tour back to a time when 800KB felt like infinity.
50 points by GloriousCow 2024-08-25T16:04:21 | 29 comments
20. ▲ MacOS X Malware Development (0xf00sec.github.io)
**Hacker Wannabes Dive Headfirst into macOS Misery**

In today's breathtaking expose on how to make your very own macOS malware, a blogger bravely attempts to mix outdated techniques with a soup of programming languages. 🎓💻 Step right up and marvel at how our intrepid guide confuses C veterans and Python newbies alike, all while sprinkling in just enough assembly language to sound *impressive*. The comment section, ever the bastion of tech wizardry, doubles down on the chaos: one reader can't tell if machine-generated text or a human's fever dream filled the paragraphs, while another mourns the misuse of macOS lore. Stick around for the thrilling conclusion where everyone debates if any of this would even run on a real Mac! 🍎💣
64 points by CharlesW 2024-08-25T20:08:20 | 5 comments
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