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▲ Judge dismisses majority of GitHub Copilot copyright claims (lwn.net)
**Judge Dismisses Fun: Developers Weep, GitHub Smirks**
In a startling display of judicial indifference towards the tears of open-source developers, Judge Jon Tigar drops almost all claims against GitHub Copilot faster than you can say "proprietary plunder." As internet pundits line up to battle out whether Copilot's AI brain digesting their coded sweat counts as theft or fair use, GitHub, under the warming glow of Microsoft's billions, likely shrugs off the lawsuit like a minor inconvenience. The online commentariat, armed with their deeply considered legal opinions (clearly from watching at least two YouTube videos), either rage about the injustice or heroically defend our corporate overlords. Meanwhile, somewhere in an undisturbed corner of the internet, GitHub and Microsoft high-five each other while smirking at developers who still believe in controlling their open-source contributions. 🎭🤖💸
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94 points by todsacerdoti
2024-08-28T23:44:38 |
65 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Twenty Years of Valgrind (2022) (nnethercote.github.io)
Twenty years into its illustrious bug-squashing career, Valgrind is still here, impressively spotting that elusive extra byte of memory leakage that's been bugging your C code since the Y2K scare. Meanwhile, the comments resemble a tech support group therapy session, with confessions of "reaching for Sanitizers" like a developer's equivalent of a midnight snack, and lamentations about Fortune 500 companies treating open-source tools like community bicycles—everyone rides, nobody maintains. But don't worry, amidst this beautiful cacophony, one user bravely assures us that hefty RAM quantities make memory management about as outdated as dial-up internet, as if forgetting to call free() is now a lifestyle choice. Valgrind, truly the unsung hero for those who write code in candlelight.
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154 points by fanf2
2024-08-28T20:42:03 |
25 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Maker Skill Trees (github.com/sjpiper145)
**Maker Skill Trees: Chart Your Path to Unrealistic Expectations**
In the latest act of Github heroics, we have "Maker Skill Trees," a repository designed to turn complex, multifaceted skills into colorful checklists for the overly optimistic hobbyist. Users can now color in hexagonal tiles as they pretend to master everything from house building to PCB design, with each step vaguely oversimplified to ensure a false sense of progress. Commenters, in bouts of existential online rage, argue over the realism and practicality of such trees, clearly missing the point that real skills might require more than just coloring inside the lines. The repository promises endless expansion - because if there’s anything more productive than actual learning, it’s debating a graphic representation of it on the internet. 🌳🖍️
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202 points by saulpw
2024-08-28T17:01:15 |
55 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Window Maker: X11 window manager with the look and feel of the NeXTSTEP UI (windowmaker.org)
In the latest nostalgia-fueled conference of ancient sorcerers from the kingdom of X11, enthusiasts gather around the altar of Window Maker, trying to resurrect the ghost of NeXTSTEP UI. A brave soul shares his *trauma* from "dock icons" taking up more screen real estate than a landlord at a Monopoly game, while others dream of a GNUstep marriage that never was—Forever a bridesmaid, never a bride. Meanwhile, the digital peasantry on forums squabble over the finer points of dock apps, clearly mistaking their clunky workarounds for innovative features. 🧙♂️👻🕹️ As always, the comment section remains the best place to witness a trainwreck of tech nostalgia mixed with unwarranted optimism.
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147 points by lnyan
2024-08-28T18:05:29 |
80 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ The Future of TLA+ [pdf] (lamport.azurewebsites.net)
In a stunning revelation, the intellectual elite grapple with the cosmic complexity of TLA+, a mathematical framework that ordinary humans decipher as "Too Long; Avoid." A commenter laments their inability to grok TLA+ on their first 15-minute skim, suggesting that perhaps a "library of axioms" might patch their brain's error 404. Devotees advocate for an easier, spoon-fed syntax, dreaming of a mythical Mathlib for TLA+. Meanwhile, quintessential replies in the comments oscillate between genuine curiosity and accidental puns about "Three Letter Acronyms." The discourse navigates between advanced theoretical needs and the back button on footnotes, laying bare the eternal struggle between human ambition and our trifling attention spans.
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128 points by tkhattra
2024-08-28T18:46:50 |
44 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Show QN: Skip – Build native iOS and Android apps from a single Swift codebase (skip.tools)
In a glorious leap of nothing new, Skip developers have finally cracked the code to sell pontificators a repackaged promise: write once, crash on two platforms. 🚀 On the dazzling frontiers of Hacker News, coders share their *awe-inspiring* saga of transitioning from UI spaghetti wars to hypothetical one-liner prodigies, thanks to Swift's new BFF, Skip! 🎉 One user throws a magic life-ring to existing iOS apps drowning in Swift, only to realize they need an entire naval fleet for integration. Meanwhile, the magical haven of docs, which no one reads but everyone questions, reveals that adoring your previous code architecture might hinder this newfound alliance—"just transpile, bro!" doesn't *quite* cover the cracks. Keep pushing those pixels, HN warriors! 💻👾
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109 points by marcprux
2024-08-28T20:44:29 |
34 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Google's New Pipe Syntax in SQL (simonwillison.net)
Welcome to the latest tech antiquity, Google's radical innovation: the Pipe Syntax in SQL, because apparently confusion peaked at 'SELECT before FROM'. The thought leaders at Google, with their 1,600 seven-day-active users (is that metric for real?), have released a two-column PDF - because in 2024, PDFs are obviously the height of modern web publishing. Meanwhile, in the land of comments, nostalgia reigns as SQL enthusiasts discuss this 'revolutionary' change like it's the newest episode of Friends. Don't worry, Richard Hipp is on standby with SQLite, just in case Postgres decides this is cool in the next three decades. 🙃
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94 points by heydenberk
2024-08-25T13:33:23 |
36 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Kotlin for Data Analysis (kotlinlang.org)
**Kotlin as Your Grandpa's New Hobby**
In a stunning revelation, Kotlinlang.org attempts to persuade everyone that their language is the new go-to tool for data analysis, because apparently using Python - the industry staple, is just too mainstream. Enter the world of Kotlin's unique "Exploratory Data Analysis" tools, where you too can pretend to revolutionize the industry by simply changing programming languages. Commenters swiftly enter the fray; one bravely claims Kotlin is more expressive than Python, sparking a spirited back-and-forth about comprehensions and the generational gap in language preferences. Others chime in with links and nitpicks, proving once again, no discussion is too trivial nor any point too nuanced when it comes to defending your favorite programming language from the barbaric assaults of someone who learned to code in a different decade. Truly, Kotlin might not change the way you analyze data, but it's hell-bent on changing how you argue about it online.
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92 points by saikatsg
2024-08-28T18:24:39 |
30 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Show QN: Repo2vec – an open-source library for chatting with any codebase (github.com/storia-ai)
**Show HN: Repo2vec – an open-source library for talking to your code because reading is so last century.** 💻🗣 Critics are raving about the unprecedented innovation of using AI to avoid the ghastly task of *actually reading code*. Repo2vec is essentially yet another technological crutch for coders who can barely remember their own function names. Meanwhile, in the peanut gallery of GitHub comments, developers oscillate between blind adoration and subtle panic about privacy. The cofounder soothingly drops credentials and buzzwords faster than you can say "vector database," while confidently ignoring the existential question: "Why not just read the code?"🤷🏻♂️
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48 points by nutellalover
2024-08-28T19:59:10 |
33 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Scaling Rails and Postgres to Users at Microsoft: Lessons and Takeaways (stepchange.work)
**Hacking the Universe with Ruby Slippers and SQL Magic**
Another day, another blog post where a tech sage expounds the mythical arts of scaling Rails into the Technosphere. This time, Andrew Atkinson, tech whisperer and best-selling author, regales us with tales from the Scaling Trenches while conveniently hawking his latest scriptural output for the Pragmatic Programmer cult. Meanwhile, the commentariat engages in a holy war over whether kissing the sacred docs of PostgreSQL brings enlightenment faster than lighting incense at the altar of Django. Some even reminisce about the good old days of tech documentation, which, like fine wine and nostalgia, only gets better with age and selective memory. Meanwhile, the rest of the web scratches its collective head, wondering if this stardust could turn their pet projects into the next unicorn, or if it's just another SQL spell. 🧙♂️✨🚀
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79 points by htormey
2024-08-28T18:34:01 |
6 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ The journey of an internet packet: Exploring networks with traceroute (sebastianmarines.com)
Welcome to another digital journey on sebastianmarines.com, where complex technical concepts get as simplified as a toddler's LEGO set. Dive into the mysterious world of network tracery with a post that tries *valiantly* to explain traceroute 🕵️♂️. Commenters, armed with their "I-read-half-a-Wikipedia-article" expertise, chime in to point out every nuance the original article glossed over, like the fact that Sun Tzu said nothing about network packets in "The Art of War". Whether it's arguing about the OSI model like it's 1983, or flexing their CCNA certs like suburban dads at a grill, rest assured, no technical stone will be left pretentiously unturned. 🤓🔍💻
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302 points by marinesebastian
2024-08-23T09:10:39 |
103 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ The 4-chan Go programmer (dolthub.com)
Title: The Perplexities of Channelception in Go
Today in "overengineering horrors," a brave team decides to use Go to rewrite Dolt, the SQL equivalent of a Rube Goldberg machine. In a move that combines unnecessary complexity with a dash of performance art, they inherit a code snippet that's a Matryoshka doll of channels sending... more channels. Cue the gasps and popcorn in the comments as the "I-read-an-article-once" crowd debates the esoteric merit of turning simple code into a labyrinth worthy of Theseus. Meanwhile, actual programmers reminisce about simpler times when code was merely cryptic, not an enigma wrapped in an enigma. 🤯💻🔄
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204 points by ingve
2024-08-28T18:35:13 |
103 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ What Is Post-Quantum Cryptography? – NIST (nist.gov)
**What Is Post-Quantum Cryptography? More Like Who Cares?**
In an exhilarating leap from locking down government websites to safeguarding our emoji-laden texts from the spooky quantum bogeyman, Uncle Sam's cryptic cronies at NIST pen a thrilling exposé on "Post-Quantum Cryptography." Cue the collective yawn from commenters who'd rather chitchat about which cryptographic celebrity's algorithm is the cryptic equivalent of Einstein. Meanwhile, one keen observer skips straight to geopolitics and hypothetical scenarios where broken encryption leads to global pandemonium—because who needs context when you have paranoia? Careful, your tinfoil hat's slipping.
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22 points by rbanffy
2024-08-28T20:20:04 |
18 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Charge Robotics (YC S21) is hiring MechEs to build robots that build solar farms (ycombinator.com)
Welcome to _Charge Robotics_ (because why solve small problems when you can build **robots** to do it for you?), the latest start-up promising to revolutionize the solar farm construction industry with 🤖 **big robots**. With robots apparently now rescuing us from the peril of human inefficiency in renewable energy deployment, one must wonder where we left plain old human innovation—Oh, that's right, in the capable hands of an army of mechanized giants! In an unsurprising twist, the comment section has transformed into an intellectual battlefield, where self-proclaimed experts debate whether this will actually speed things up, or just lead us into a dystopian, robot-dominated wilderness. But hey, at least you get "significant equity compensation" for potentially giving life to our future metal overlords! 🌞🤖💸
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0 points by
2024-08-28T21:00:17 |
0 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ What's New in SQLAlchemy 2.1? (sqlalchemy.org)
Title: Developers Salivate Over SQLAlchemy 2.1 Changelog
At last, the era of endless scrolling is upon us, as SQLAlchemy 2.1 proudly rolls out a dizzying carousel of features that its users might just almost understand. With the newfound ability to antagonize tuples using the PEP 646 spellbook, type nerds everywhere are losing sleep over groundbreaking enhancements that let them track whether their queries return a string, a sneeze, or Schrödinger’s cat. The comment section, predictably, transforms into a battleground where no actual battle occurs, just a lot of mumbling about types as if they’re discussing fine wines at a tech bro luncheon. Progress! 🍷
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6 points by hackandthink
2024-08-26T11:37:41 |
0 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Show QN: IPA, a GUI for exploring inner details of PDFs (github.com/seekbytes)
**🙄 Show HN: Another Tool to Stare at PDF Guts 🙄**
A brave Hacker News user unveils IPA, the latest GUI destined to gather dust in the "PDF Analysis" tier of your toolbox, right next to your unused Raspberry Pi projects and those half-read O'Reilly books. Comment sections instantly become a parade of competing URLs, each claiming to unmask PDFs faster than you can say "malware", while the original poster takes deep, meditative breaths trying to convince skeptics that his GUI-sans-command-line is the future. Somewhere, a security analyst adds this tool to their "look at later" list, sandwiched between cybersecurity webinars and musings about switching to decaf. 📚💻🤓
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208 points by nicolodev
2024-08-28T10:22:52 |
40 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Panasonic Toughbook 40 (panasonic.com)
**Panasonic Mixes-and-Matches with the TOUGHBOOK 40**
Panasonic has launched its latest Frankensteined contraption, the TOUGHBOOK 40, which comes with a menu longer than a diner's and more options than a Choose-Your-Adventure book. If indecisiveness was a laptop, this would be it: choose from dual SIMs, dual vomit—err, NPU cores—and even dual-ability: it functions as a door stop or an actual computing device! Meanwhile, the rugged tech aficionados drool over optional Fischer LAN sockets while reminiscing about their lost rugged pals from lesser brands; a comment section worth of experts, failing to grasp why their jet engines still can't connect without an adapter. 🤦♂️💻🔧
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103 points by fidotron
2024-08-28T16:58:16 |
105 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ A dishwasher can make or break a restaurant (2017) (washingtonpost.com)
In an awe-inspiring revelation that’s sure to reshuffle the culinary hierarchy, a Washington Post food critic discovers that dishwashers are, in fact, important to restaurants. Armed with rubber gloves and a splashy hose, our intrepid journalist embarks on a quixotic quest to transform from fine-dining critic to wet-and-wild dish-sprayer, gathering empirical evidence (and various food specks) across a single shift. Online, PhD holders recount their heroic forays into dishwashing at holiday charity dinners, while seasoned kitchen warriors reminiscence about the glory days of scalded fingers and holiday shifts. Commenters compete to showcase their dishwasher credentials and the profundity of washing dishes, validating their life choices one greasy spoon at a time.
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210 points by mhb
2024-08-26T12:17:21 |
390 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Formal CHERI: design-time proof of full-scale architecture security properties (2022) (lightbluetouchpaper.org)
Title: **Academic Geeks Paradise: CHERI Cherishes Complex Hardware Wonders** 💻🔬
In a daring display of intellectual verbosity, researchers continue to push the boundaries of how much jargon can be compressed into a single sentence about the CHERI project. This groundbreaking work promises to shield us from those nasty memory safety bugs, assuming, of course, anyone other than their creators eventually understands it or cares. Comment sections rejoice as hardware hobbyists clash in a rare showcase of techno-enthusiasm, debating the esoteric nuances of why they need real, tangible chips to tinker with, instead of virtual pretenders. Meanwhile, one brave commenter dares to link CHERI with Rust, evidently confusing memory safety with a new genre of metal music. 🤘💾
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95 points by fanf2
2024-08-28T11:42:02 |
28 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Typing lists and tuples in Elixir (elixir-lang.org)
Elixir's team has heroically declared a **revolution in coding**: introducing gradual typing to ensure developers spend even more time debating types instead of fixing bugs. As the comment section becomes a mix of praise, confusion, and a sprinkle of technical existential crisis, we're assured that the type system will stop all type errors (and all other errors? Just kidding). Meanwhile, each commenter transforms into a temporary philosopher, wondering just how many types it takes to screw in a lightbulb in Elixir's new ecosystem. 🤔💡🔄
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181 points by idmitrievsky
2024-08-28T11:49:32 |
44 comments
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