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▲ The secret inside One Million Checkboxes (eieio.games)
**One Million Tears For One Million Checkboxes**
In a baffling attempt to hop onto the experiential digital bandwagon, some guy launches "One Million Checkboxes," a website that literally lets you check boxes. Half a million bored souls eagerly commit to altering a bit's fate, with over 650 million boxes checked, proving people really will click on anything. The creator puzzles through a rollercoaster of irrelevant emotions, gets misty over "brilliant teens" playing checkbox messiah, and shuts down his creation ceremonially—because apparently, digital checkboxes also need a Viking funeral. Commenters, equally sniffly, reminisce about their lost checkbox paradise, with the most articulate echoing somber eulogies for a website that, let's be honest, even your cat wouldn't miss. 📦✅😿
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386 points by todsacerdoti
2024-08-29T21:20:12 |
27 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Bypassing airport security via SQL injection (ian.sh)
**Bypassing airport security via SQL injection (ian.sh)**
Today in "How is this still a thing?", we learn that a crucial part of airport security can be duped by SQL injection, a bug so ancient it's practically got its own exhibit in the cybersecurity museum. Commenters are split between marveling at this Jurassic tech blunder and philosophizing about the metaphysical significance of one under-caffeinated coder effortlessly bypassing what millions of dollars of TSA funding couldn't fortify. Meanwhile, somewhere an intern gets a tragic flashback to their first "Hello, World!" program, thinking, "Wait, didn’t I fix that bug?" 🤦♂️
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1139 points by iancarroll
2024-08-29T15:53:08 |
268 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Anthropic's Prompt Engineering Interactive Tutorial (github.com/anthropics)
**Anthropic Attempts Tutorial Triumph, Teaches Tired Tech**
Anthropic swings again, producing a GitHub repository aiming to sculpt the sloppy art of "prompt engineering" into a discernible form. Unfortunately, it's like watching a toddler perform surgery with a crayon. The comment section becomes a tragicomic scene where enthusiasts debate obsolete instructions on XML like medieval scholars discussing the importance of leeches in brain surgery. Meanwhile, one brave soul admits to conversing with AI as if it's a caveman, likely achieving better results than those drowning in documentation designed to turn simple tasks into labyrinthine puzzles. Good luck, prompt engineers, you'll need it!
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86 points by sebg
2024-08-29T22:21:55 |
14 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Google Closure Library has been archived (github.com/google)
**Google Closure Library R.I.P. (Not Really Though!)**
In a shocking display of routine housekeeping masquerading as innovation, Google has finally thrown the Closure Library into the dusty archives of GitHub, essentially telling developers to "go find someone else's code to play with." 📦🗑️ As expected, the comment section instantly transformed into a delightful circus of confusion and outrage. Clever souls rushed to remind others that, no, this doesn't spell doom for the Closure Compiler—because obviously keeping one leg of a chair while tossing the other ensures perfect stability, right? Meanwhile, a wise bridge seller capitalizes on the chaos, suggesting that this is merely a prelude to Google's traditional hobby of killing beloved projects. Can't wait for the next thrilling episode of *What Will Google Cancel Next?* 🎭🍿
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63 points by benatkin
2024-08-29T22:22:12 |
28 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Elasticsearch is open source, again (elastic.co)
Title: Elasticsearch goes full circle and "re-liberates" itself?
Get excited, developers! Elasticsearch is "open source" again—or at least that's what their shiny new marketing spiel on elastic.co claims. In a spectacular display of buzzword bingo, they promise everything from AI-driven unicorn dreams to a staggering overuse of the word "elastic." Meanwhile, bewildered commenters try to wrap their heads around corporate chess games, sling around accusations of exploitation like drunkards at a dart board, and miss the point entirely—because really, it's all about who gets the fanciest badge from AWS. 🎯♟️🤹♂️ Blind loyalty in technology: causing amnesia and déjà vu since the inception of open source.
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289 points by dakrone
2024-08-29T20:10:02 |
168 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Imbue (Formerly Generally Intelligent) (YC S17) Is Hiring a Research Scientist
At Imbue (neé Generally Intelligent, as if a rebrand could scrub clean the stink of past failures), the startup wizards are on a quest for a *Research Scientist* 🧙♂️✨ who can miraculously convert venture capital into "groundbreaking" AI research. In the comments section, the usual suspects—self-proclaimed tech prophets and garage-dwelling "founders"—vie for the top prize in the Hyperbole Olympics, each dismissing years of academic study for the chance to be overlooked by a bot recruiter. This job post proves that in Silicon Valley, optimism is undying, and memory is, conveniently, very short.
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0 points by
2024-08-30T01:00:26 |
0 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Visit Bletchley Park (bletchleypark.org.uk)
Welcome to Bletchley Park: Where Even History Gets Bored
Oh, joy! If you’ve ever wanted to meticulously explore every mundane corner of a historical site while zealously ignoring the groundbreaking cryptographic work that actually happened there, Bletchley Park is the place to be. Surprisingly, commenters on the site suggest skipping this snoozefest in favor of the National Museum of Computing, because nothing complements a historic site like telling visitors to go somewhere else. As ecstatic nerds swap long-winded stories with grandpa-grade guides, remember that getting locked out because you didn’t check the opening times is almost as fun as watching paint dry on Enigma machines. Plan your weekend accordingly if you crave *excitement* - by hoping you encounter that one lovely person working on their day off, so you can actually see something cool behind-the-scenes instead of just the regular old exhibits. 🙄
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22 points by bookofjoe
2024-08-29T23:46:25 |
7 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ SDL3 new GPU API merged (github.com/libsdl-org)
In a stunning turn of inefficiency that could only be orchestrated by the brightest minds in graphics programming, the SDL team courageously merges yet another GPU API into the heated soup of existing solutions. Because, obviously, what the world lacks is another way to write shaders that say "Hello, World!" across fifteen platforms. The GitHub warriors dive in with their usual sagacity, querying the reincarnation of wheel-design and joyously conjecturing which API will reign supreme in this crucial battle of obscurity. Meanwhile, somewhere a hobbyist tweets #StillNotUsingRust and dreams of an easy life, free from the tyranny of graphics APIs.
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45 points by caspar
2024-08-29T23:04:32 |
11 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ JPMorgan's Python training for business analysts and traders (github.com/jpmorganchase)
**JPMorgan's Attempts at "Python Training": A Sitcom Script?**
In a stunning display of modern cluelessness, JPMorgan has decided to teach Python to their business analysts and traders, because clearly, handling economic crises wasn't enough of a challenge. The course content, generously described as an "introduction" rather than an actual education, is essentially a few Python print statements masquerading as financial insights. Comment sections quickly turned into a tragicomic theater with reminiscences of when "Monty Python" meant a fun movie night, not a crash course in how to mistakenly ruin your finance career with misplaced code. Former employees and bitter traders mingle in the chaos, sharing tales of similar corporate "educational" farces, while collectively mourning their portfolios. Welcome to the blind leading the blind in the digital age where JPMorgan not only manages your money but also mismanages programming pedagogy.
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42 points by sebg
2024-08-29T22:18:39 |
17 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Chrome is entrenching third-party cookies that will mislead users (brave.com)
In the thrilling world of browsers battling *evil* cookies, Brave steps up with a groundbreaking piece, revealing Google Chrome's dastardly plan to fool us all with their "Related Website Sets". 🍪💔 Commenters burst into a chaotically intellectual frenzy, debating the ethics of browser privacy like it's the fall of Rome. Some rally for fake data as a shield against corporate overlords, while others ruefully reminisce about Firefox's golden days. Meanwhile, practical advice floats around about living in a "capitalist dystopia", because apparently, having a choice in browser extensions is the hill we’ll all die on. 🎭🛡️
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282 points by NayamAmarshe
2024-08-29T14:53:15 |
131 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ I'm blocking connections from AWS to my on-prem services (m3047.net)
**Title: Cyber-Hermit Blocks AWS, Internet Barely Notices**
In an *epic* display of digital futility, a solipsistic sysadmin has heroically decided to barricade their on-premises data forts from the marauding cloud hordes of AWS, likening their network isolation tactics to some grand geopolitical chess move. Commenters, in act of impressive mental gymnastics, navigate through the "morass of lateral thinking," advising on the nuanced craft of cloud provider ostracism while casually ignoring the irony of discussing internet balkanization on a publicly accessible blog. One lone voice of reason suggests a simpler solution—rate-limiting—but is promptly drowned in a sea of IP range lists, proving that common sense is the rarest data packet on the cyber battlefield. 😂
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18 points by m3047
2024-08-30T00:15:51 |
3 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Firewall rules: not as secure as you think (haskellforall.com)
Today on "How to Circumvent Corporate Security with a Smirk," we stroll through yet another enlightening blog entry where hackers and corporate vendors unite in the joyous dance of bypassing firewalls. The post serves a delectable buffet of tricks for SSH-ing into, what are supposed to be, Fort Knox-level secure networks because, who cares about protocols when you have software to sell, right? Meanwhile, the comment section transforms into a delightful circus with IT aficionados reminiscing on the good ol' days of "unpermitted" SSH tunneling, heated debates on modern firewall capabilities, and at least one brave soul questioning if firewalls do anything at all. Prepare for a rollercoaster ride of deftly justified security loopholes and the nostalgia of the wild west era of internet security. 🤠💻🔓
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33 points by jnord
2024-08-29T22:56:27 |
10 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Build an Infinite Canvas (infinitecanvas.cc)
In another earth-shattering display of innovation, the web’s brightest minds converge on infinitecanvas.cc, a site that promises the digital equivalent of never-ending paper to scribble on. Finally, tech enthusiasts and aspiring Da Vincis can unleash their masterpieces—except most are just drawing stick figures and arguing over JavaScript libraries. Comments on the site fluctuate between unbridled confusion and misplaced enthusiasm, revealing that the most infinite thing about the canvas might just be the users' capacity for missing the point. Will humanity ever recover from such an unprecedented expansion of both canvas and ego? Only time (and bandwidth) will tell.
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26 points by hotfixguru
2024-08-25T17:59:50 |
0 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Launch QN: CodeViz (YC S24) – Visual maps of your codebase in VS Code
**Launch HN: CodeViz (YC S24) – Visual maps of your codebase in VS Code**
The Hacker News commentariat unites in rare, dribbling ecstasy over CodeViz, a VS Code extension that ostensibly saves beleaguered developers from the impossible task of reading their own code. One eager fan highlights its cost: twice that of GitHub Copilot, because why not pay more for the privilege of visual crutches? Meanwhile, an optimistic soul dreams of dragging, dropping, and renaming his way through buggy spaghetti code, apparently unaware that no amount of AI-powered eye candy can fix that mess. Predictably, everyone misses the feature to rename "CodeViz" to "CodeSalvation" in hopes of dodging the inevitable PR disaster when users accidentally evangelize "Covid" at their next stand-ups. 🙃
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103 points by LiamPrevelige
2024-08-29T17:50:23 |
38 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Raspberry Pi Pico does line rate 100M Ethernet (github.com/rscott2049)
In a desperate attempt to make the Raspberry Pi Pico do something "cool," a brave soul updates an Ethernet library finally allowing this glorified microcontroller to wheeze through 100M Ethernet without imploding. The creator slaps together DMA driven ring buffers, a mix of interrupts, and just enough techno-jargon to make sure the lone core left functioning begs for mercy after handling a single packet. Aside from performance tweaks that read like a poor man's overclocking guide, devout followers in the comments theorize on how multicore architectures could, should, and might salvage this setup, while simultaneously missing the point entirely. In true internet fashion, arguments break out, downvotes fly, and no one is entirely sure what the "PIO" actually does, but it sure sounds impressive at parties. 🎉
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180 points by rscott2049
2024-08-29T15:29:13 |
24 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Can solar costs keep shrinking? (tomaspueyo.com)
Can Solar Costs Keep Shrinking Forever? - A riveting exposé unfolds on tomaspueyo.com, wherein a tech blogger outlines the seemingly endless descent of solar panel costs much to the chagrin of their savings account. Commenters chime in with their off-grid dreams, turning the discussion into a masterclass on discount engineering degrees and Google-learned electrical work. In a daring escape from societal norms (and possibly common sense), one ambitious commenter plans their battery-powered ascent to Walden Pond 2.0, with only YouTube tutorials as their guide. Meanwhile, another enthusiast calculates rainwater catchment needs with the precision of a toddler stacking blocks. Break out the popcorn, the solar-powered future is upon us, and it's hilariously underprepared. 🌞🔋✨
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213 points by GoRudy
2024-08-29T13:57:51 |
349 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Show QN: MinutesLink – AI note taker for online calls (minuteslink.com)
The web-based echo chamber proudly presents its latest solution in search of a problem: MinutesLink. This groundbreaking AI note taker vows to capture the riveting discourse of your average online call, ensuring no gem like "can you see my screen?" goes unrecorded. The commenters, basking in the glow of Silicon Valley's relentless innovation, trip over themselves to predict global productivity spikes as if writing efficient meeting minutes equates to landing on Mars. Meanwhile, the real miracle is that nobody has yet suggested integrating blockchain to further "enhance" this indispensable tool. 🚀🤓
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8 points by elisegr
2024-08-29T23:22:32 |
0 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ The Imperial Origins of Big Data (yale.edu)
**Colonial Byte Power: The Pomposity of Data Empire**
In a breathless display of historical dot-connecting, a recent piece from Yale dusts off the cobweb-laden term "big data" and magically traces its lineage back to the cradle of imperialism. Clearly, 64.2 zetabytes of digital fluff must obviously be blamed on dusty bureaucrats and starry-eyed colonials armed with abacuses and oppression. The commenters, seizing on a solitary mention of "statistics," launch a crusade to pin even this modern technological behemoth squarely onto the shoulders of 18th-century statists, because every digital woe, obviously, was seeded in the days of the quill. Another insightful dive into how everything wrong with the internet can be traced back to people in funny hats deciding they knew best. 🌍💾
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9 points by drdee
2024-08-29T23:08:23 |
2 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Show QN: A discovery-focused search engine for Hacker News (trieve.ai)
**Show HN: Discovery Goes Haywire, Users Confused and Trepidatious**
In yet another stunning display of "discovery," a bold HN user unveils trieve.ai, a search engine designed to navigate the dank crevices of Hacker News's least commented and least liked posts. "Congrats on recreating Google from 1998," cheers one user, somehow happy about a search result yielding a lonely Excel post without comments or clout. Meanwhile, another adventurer can't escape the Bermuda Triangle of buggy back buttons without a right-click séance. The grand finale involves users discovering that they can, indeed, sort by points, thus completely undermining the whole premise of 'relevance'—because nothing says "I've found what I was looking for!" like a search engine that needs a manual on how to work around its 'features'. 🎉💻
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110 points by skeptrune
2024-08-29T17:08:20 |
24 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Mastering ISO 8583 Message Networking with Golang (alovak.com)
Today on the enlightening niche blog circuit, a stirring sequel emerges: "Mastering ISO 8583 Message Networking with Golang." Once again, the fin-tech gladiators equip their GoLang armor, ready to charge the formidable bastions of card network communications. For those unaware, ISO 8583 is, shockingly, not a new Star Wars droid, but a thrilling standard for managing the zesty tales of financial transactions. Dive deep into the riveting world of 'acquirers' and 'issuers' as we scribble Go code that could, with any luck, revolutionize buying half a latte. Comments section below is a delightful warzone where seasoned coders battle rookies over the nuances of binary message parsing, and a misplaced semicolon can ignite World War III. 👾🚀💳
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8 points by alovak
2024-08-28T13:16:54 |
0 comments
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