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▲ UE5 Nanite in WebGPU (github.com/scthe)
**Hacker News Discovers Triangles: Now With More Nanite!**
In a staggering breakthrough that will surely redefine typing into text fields, a GitHub warrior has slapped Unreal Engine 5's Nanite technology into WebGPU. The blog post claims to make billions of triangles dance on your browser, but only if your browser is Chrome, because standards are hard. Comment sections promise enthusiastic nods to scalable meshes and recursive instancing because repeating buzzwords is clearly cheaper than repetitive meshes. Watch as developers marvel at squeezing high-level graphics tech into the last place it was asked for, and where it's sure to be used for even more tabs of undying browser games! 🤓💻🔺
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258 points by vouwfietsman
2024-09-05T17:55:59.000000Z |
79 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ OAuth from First Principles (stack-auth.com)
**The Misadventures of Security By Blogging**
A daring blogger at stack-auth.com reinvents the wheel by breaking OAuth down like it's a kindergarten toy, promising a secure approach by the end of his digital demolition derby. As expected, the comment section becomes a potluck of classic tech hubris—each expert tossing in their favorite seasoning, citing better practices and obscure references that most mortals will never read. Eager to out-nerd each other, commenters engage in a spectacle of one-upmanship, desperately linking to their own blog posts or YouTube videos instead of admitting that they, too, didn't quite grasp the entire concept until now. Meanwhile, secure authentication remains an enigma, wrapped in a 2FA token, hidden inside an outdated comments section. 🎭💾
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377 points by n2d4
2024-09-01T22:03:03.000000Z |
78 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Tell QN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care
**Tell HN: Burnout is bad for your brain, take care**
In a shocking revelation that work might just be a little bit tiring, a HN user discovers the revolutionary tactic of doing *just enough* to not get fired. The comment section transforms into a group therapy session where everyone shares their heartbreaking tales of not opening their laptops on weekends. One brave soul admits they once saw a post about burnout symptoms and—surprise—it turned out they were burned out. Meanwhile, several commenters bask in the glow of their newfound guru-status, dispensing wisdom that amounts to "say no to work"; this is evidently seen as a radical act in Silicon Valley.
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125 points by tuyguntn
2024-09-05T23:59:02.000000Z |
52 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Phind-405B and faster, high quality AI answers for everyone (phind.com)
Welcome to the utopian AI future promised by Phind-405B, where the answers are fast, wrong, and completely reference-free! Today, we explore a typical user who (shockingly) discovers the chasm between AI-generated responses and actual, usable academic information. Fear not! Our virtuous user—clad in the digital armor of skepticism—double-checks and demands the rare artifact known as "proof," only to discover that their shining AI knight has about as much reliability as a chocolate teapot. Meanwhile, in the comment section, our brave tech-warriors either heroically defend the flawed system or admit defeat before the erratic whims of their fickle, code-spun oracle. Keep those settings toggled, dear users, for the whimsy of AI is as predictable as a soap opera plot. 🤖💔📚
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180 points by rushingcreek
2024-09-05T16:22:09.000000Z |
78 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ AlphaProteo generates novel proteins for biology and health research (deepmind.google)
DeepMind yet again spawns buzzwords for humanity with "AlphaProteo," the magic wand for molecular binders. In a display of wizardry, they swear that these computer-crafted protein cuddlers will unlock the *elixir of life* by enabling drugs, imaging, diagnosis—maybe even cronuts—who knows? Meanwhile, over at Hacker News, the armchair experts oscillate between declaring this as the advent of the biological singularity and rolling their eyes hard enough to visualize protein structures. One predicts a Nobel Prize while another compares bioterrorism to *seasoning fruit at a local fair*. 🧬🎢
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223 points by meetpateltech
2024-09-05T15:05:49.000000Z |
75 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Deploying Rust in Existing Firmware Codebases (googleblog.com)
The Android Team at Google, experts in making things needlessly complex, have decided to grace firmware developers with their latest fad: integrating Rust into your C-laden, prehistoric firmware codebases. Watch in amazement as they call swapping C for Rust on embedded systems a "novel idea," proving once again that history starts whenever a Google engineer discovers something. The comment section transforms into a digital battle royale as users fight more with browser compatibility and ad blockers than with actual code vulnerabilities. No lessons learned here, just a "starting point" to further entangle your ad blockers in endless whitelist spirals. 🤯💻🔒
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106 points by pjmlp
2024-09-05T17:02:40.000000Z |
50 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Show QN: Feature Flags Backed by Git (flipt.io)
Title: Show HN: Introducing Yet Another Way to Complicate Your DevOps with Git-Flavored Feature Flags
In a world relentlessly plagued by option paralysis, a brave developer introduces Flipt.io, the latest player in the "make your deployments as convoluted as possible" arena. 🎉 Yes, because your CD pipeline cries out for more Git hooks and fewer database calls, here comes a solution to clutter your repos with flag toggles! Commenters erupt in excitement, speculating on the cosmic implications of storing all state changes in Git—because evidently, downtime when GitHub sneezes is part of the thrill. 🌀 Meanwhile, heated debates ignite over crucial topics like "But why can't I use emojis in my org name?" and the philosophical musings of "If a feature flag toggles in a UI and nobody's around to push the commit, does it deploy?" 🤔
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49 points by bullcitydev
2024-09-05T20:15:43.000000Z |
16 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ serverless-registry: A Docker registry backed by Workers and R2 (github.com/cloudflare)
In an utterly original move no one saw coming, the world is gifted with serverless-registry: a Docker registry you can haunt with the specters of Cloudflare Workers and R2. Tech savants proclaim it supports all your pushing and pulling tango—even offers fancy JWT dance cards for authentication. But wait—there’s a catch! No big file pushes beyond the weeny 500MB limit unless you enjoy crafting software atop a quagmire of CloudFront, Lambda, and who-knows-what-else. Commenters, alternatively pleading for simple solutions and moaning over Cloudflare's aggressive sales ninjas, deliver a Shakespeare-worthy tragedy on why "serverless" still feels like "effort-more." Embrace the chaos... or just get a few ARM boxes and call it a day. 🎭💾
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107 points by tosh
2024-09-05T16:34:51.000000Z |
45 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ The Origins of the Steam Engine (rootsofprogress.org)
**The Ancient Boilermakers and Their Internet Cheerleaders**
A thrilling guest post unearths the *shocking* revelation that the steam engine didn’t just pop into existence fully formed like Athena from the head of Zeus—it had predecessors! Who knew that boiling water could be so complex? Anton Howes and Matt Brown, sponsored by an overly generous Institute, take 11 minutes of your internet life to meticulously avoid the lackluster heritage of steam while enthusiasts in the comments reinvent history with the kind of confidence usually reserved for political Facebook posts. Witness the spectacle as every commenter undoubtedly becomes a PhD in Thermodynamic Engineering overnight. 🎓💨
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11 points by bpierre
2024-09-03T11:03:40.000000Z |
0 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Launch QN: Maitai (YC S24) – Self-Optimizing LLM Platform
**Startup Suicide: Maitai's Magnificent Meltdown**
In a **spectacular display** of misplaced confidence, Maitai (YC S24) launches with a so-called "self-optimizing" LLM platform that promises unbreakable security, only to have its secret passphrase cracked faster than you can say **"fail whale"**. The comments swarm with tech bro pontifications, each more eagerly piling onto the ruinous reveal, flaunting a mix of schadenfreude and faux sympathy. Amidst the ruins, someone quips about Maitai's unexpectedly thorough commitment to open-source security policies, i.e., **making everything public**. Meanwhile, the developers reassure us with all the conviction of soggy toast that they are "learning" from these public humiliations – rest easy, dear user, your data is merely part of a learning curve they didn't anticipate!
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112 points by cmdalsanto
2024-09-05T13:42:43.000000Z |
54 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ The 'Freakish Radio Writings' of 1924 (centauri-dreams.org)
At centauri-dreams.org, a sanctuary for the slowly fossilizing remains of early 20th-century radio enthusiasts, we dig up the "Freakish Radio Writings" of 1924, because apparently rehashing nearly hundred-year-old scribbles counts as breaking news. In the comment section, the mighty intellectuals of the internet connect these ancient dots to Aphex Twin—surely a critical insight for understanding pre-Depression era radio broadcasts. Another lost soul struggles bravely with a pinch-to-zoom crisis on Chrome, a plight truly worthy of our deepest sympathies in a discussion about outdated technologies. It's another day on the web where the past meets the painfully banal present. 📻👻
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47 points by JPLeRouzic
2024-09-05T16:55:25.000000Z |
3 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Show QN: AnythingLLM – Open-Source, All-in-One Desktop AI Assistant (github.com/mintplex-labs)
**AnythingLLM: AI for Those Who Shun Reading Manuals**
Hacker News users discover a groundbreaking All-in-One Desktop AI Assistant that promises the moon but might just deliver a slice of lunar rock. Enthralled by a series of jargony buzzwords like "full RAG capabilities" and "AI Agents", DIY tech enthusiasts conflate Language Learning Models with Large Language Models, exposing their fervent disregard for trivialities like accurate acronyms. Amidst a flurry of self-congratulatory pats and having set up camps in the comments section, one coder bravely admits a hilarious acronym blunder that’s been around "since the dawn of time." What won't these knights of the keyboard PR next?
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200 points by tcarambat1010
2024-09-05T15:40:45.000000Z |
52 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Show QN: We built a FOSS documentation CMS with a pretty GUI (difuse.io)
**HN Launches Yet Another Documentation CMS: We Never Saw That Coming!**
Today in the land of redundant creativity, a brave team unveils their latest Frankenstein's monster: difuse.io. According to the tech wizards and Hobby Lobby enthusiasts, it borrows heavily from TinaCMS, flirts shamelessly with Docusaurus, and does some light stalking of Wiki.js, all while gasping for air on a single-core Azure server. The comment section bursts into predictable fireworks: a charming mix of fleeting comparisons to every known CMS and earnest pleas for features from platforms no one outside their GitHub stars cares about. Someone missed the demo and left; another user is just discovering what a GUI is. Stay tuned for next month’s release, which promises to revolutionize the industry by reimagining how quickly a project can be forked and forgotten. 🚀🤔
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82 points by arch1e
2024-09-05T16:26:12.000000Z |
15 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Clojure 1.12.0 is now available (clojure.org)
**Another *Groundbreaking* Release: Clojure 1.12.0 Emerges Victorious Over the Mighty Java 8**
In an earth-shattering development that's sure to rock the three people still using Java 8, Alex Miller triumphantly announces the release of Clojure 1.12.0. 🎉 Amidst cries of "Is the spec still alive or is it just on extended vacation?" from the sidelined partisans of Clojure advancements, this latest iteration graciously decides to continue producing Java 8 bytecode, possibly just to feel nostalgic. Commenters, in a thrilling display of amnesia, seem to rediscover old features retouched as new - praise be to the maintainers for preserving backward compatibility while moving at a glacial pace that makes watching paint dry feel like a Vin Diesel movie. Others ruminate over the eerie stability of the language, wondering if its slow pulse is a sign of robust health or just the quiet before the storm of irrelevance. 🐌💨 With a collective sigh of relief, yet one eye open, the Clojure community tiptoes into a future where the most exhilarating part about using Clojure remains the possibility of its entire ecosystem still working on the ghost of Java platforms yet to come.
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132 points by msolli
2024-09-05T20:12:52.000000Z |
18 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ China's chip capabilities just 3 years behind TSMC, teardown shows (nikkei.com)
In a shocker of the century, teardowns reveal China’s semiconductor industry is a whole *three* years behind Taiwan’s TSMC, evoking gasps from absolutely nobody. Hiroharu Shimizu, shredder of gadgets and teller of obvious truths, marvels that despite the U.S. throwing tech embargoes like confetti at a parade, China’s tech is barely limping behind. Commenters, wielding their freshly Googled acronyms, wax poetic about DUV, EUV, and other cool-sounding tech jargon, likely believing themselves to be the next Elon Musk in a heated forum debate. Meanwhile, fears over China’s emptied piggy banks give rise to more doomsaying than a late-night apocalypse preacher. 📉💸🔮
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65 points by rjzzleep
2024-09-02T04:09:17.000000Z |
43 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Why I self host my servers and what I've recently learned (chollinger.com)
Title: **The Hermit King of Heimdall.lan**
In a touching display of nostalgia for the early 2000s, a brave netizen chronicles their life as the sole inhabitant and ruler of **Heimdall.lan**, a digital realm powered by a homebrew server cluster that buzzes louder than a bathroom fan at a chili cook-off. In their compelling manifesto, they passionately detail why they've chosen the life of isolation over the simplicity of letting Google handle things. The comments section quickly devolves into a chaos theory symposium with armchair encryption experts casually tossing around terms like "VPS" and "TLS" while debating whether my grandma should mirror city council PDFs to boost her bridge club’s SEO. It’s a classic self-hosting circle-jerk pulling in both outdoor adventurers, who'd rather face 90-degree heat than a router, and indoor tech worshipers who think "cloud" is a dirty word.
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158 points by transpute
2024-09-04T01:00:56.000000Z |
53 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Common food dye found to make skin and muscle temporarily transparent (theguardian.com)
### Scientists Melt Brains with Skittles® Technology
In a groundbreaking advancement, scientists at Stanford have turned to the candy aisle for medical innovations, using a common food coloring—previously most famous for its role in hyperactive children's parties—to render mouse innards voyeuristically transparent. Internet commentators, ever the experts, leap into action, debating everything from potential UV damage to the dye's ability to double as a sunscreen or futuristic tattoo ink. One insightful future Nobel laureate inquires about integrating UV light for a pandemic cure, merging conspiracy theory with comic relief. The armchair scientists conclude with Doritos-fueled applications, proving that it's not just organs that can be seen through, but the veil of their scientific understanding too. ☠️🔬🐭
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137 points by _Microft
2024-09-05T19:48:22.000000Z |
52 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ My job is to watch dreams die (2011) (reddit.com)
**My job is to watch dreams die (2011)** (reddit.com)
A redditor plucks the lemon of life to snag a bargain basement foreclosure under tragic domestic circumstances, making homeownership dreams come true—at least, finally, for someone. Meanwhile, commenters trip over each other to humblebrag about how buying homes is less a financial strategy and more of a mental health maneuver, skipping through techno-legality and slinging anecdotes around like confetti at a mortgage brokers' Thanksgiving parade. Cue the chorus of "it's all worth it for peace of mind," as dreams die quietly in the background, unacknowledged and unsung, amidst tales of emotionally scarred part-time workers and evicted renters. Somewhere, a failed mortgage turned 'Zombie' haunts unwitting homeowners with inexplicable collections, bringing a hint of thriller to the otherwise dreary and plodding saga of real estate ownership. 🏠💀🍋
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210 points by eezurr
2024-09-05T18:43:18.000000Z |
84 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Trellis (YC W24) is hiring eng to build AI workflows for unstructured data (ycombinator.com)
**Hacker News Beams Up Another AI Savior**
In a world desperately clawing for a novel way to organize their receipts, the brave souls at Trellis, fresh from the hallowed halls of YC, claim to transmute chaotic data piles (like your incomprehensible Slack diatribes) into pristine, SQL-compliant tables. “Look ma, no more mess!” they seem to shout from atop piles of VC cash, courtesy of every big-name early investor who still thinks AI is just magic but with algorithms. Meanwhile, the comment section transforms into a battleground where SQL purists spar with the NoSQL rebels, each armed with buzzwords and barely-masked job insecurity. Godspeed, data warriors, and may your filters never falter. 📊💸 ⓘ
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0 points by
2024-09-05T17:00:52.000000Z |
0 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Visa to launch pay-by-bank payments, an alternative to credit cards (cnbc.com)
Title: Visa Reinvents the Wheel, Now Circular and Rolling
Visa apparently just discovered direct bank payments, a mundane staple in Europe for longer than anyone can remember, and decided to dress it up as the next big innovation in throwing themselves back into transactions they were previously cut out from. Commenters, ever the sleuths, are puzzles over why this "brand new" service sounds eerily like the good old direct debit but with extra steps and potential fees lurking in the shadows. 🕵️♂️💸 Others ponder deeply about the lifesaving feature of reversing gym membership payments, except, of course, for those pesky sectors where you might actually want that feature. In the sprawling lands of tech comments, historical amnesia reigns supreme as Bitcoin mysteriously vanishes into thin air, giving Visa all the credit. The future is here, and it's a regifted past! 🎁🔄
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11 points by jnord
2024-09-06T00:09:06.000000Z |
11 comments
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