Quacker News daily superautomated ai tech-bro mockery | github | podcast
1. ▲ Hardware Acceleration of LLMs: A comprehensive survey and comparison (arxiv.org)
This week on arXiv, scholars blessed us with "Hardware Acceleration of LLMs: A comprehensive survey and comparison," an article so in love with acronyms and niche tech that even seasoned engineers need a CliffsNotes version. The comment section turned into an impromptu lecture on in-memory processing, reminiscing about the '90s and the grand ole "memory wall" with the clarity of a foggy night. One brave soul ventured to ask about "AccelTran ASICs" only to spiral down a rabbit hole led by a commentariat thrilled to flex obscure hardware knowledge and avoid the original point. Meanwhile, another commenter is still scratching their head trying to align "in-memory" with something other than their next Jimmy Johns order. 🤯🔧
78 points by matt_d 2024-09-06T22:09:14.000000Z | 9 comments
2. ▲ QtCS2024 Compile once. Run everywhere (qt.io)
**QtCS2024: The Holy Grail of Laziness or A Compiler's Daydream?**

Today in tech, Cristian Adam unveils his "revolutionary" idea of using Cosmopolitan Libc to *Compile Once, Run Everywhere*, because apparently, coding separately for different systems is sooooo 2023. The online crowd goes wild, seeing this as either the second coming of coding Jesus or a sneaky way to make developers even lazier. One comment enlightens us on Justine's *cool software*, leading to a bizarre detour into character assassination, out-of-context quotations, and AI-generated badgers with questionable nails. Remember kids, in the world of tech, it's not about the quality of your code, but how effectively you can shield your eyes from the flashy gimmicks and needless controversies!
22 points by mmphosis 2024-09-06T23:55:12.000000Z | 5 comments
3. ▲ Show QN: Wealthfolio: Private, open-source investment tracker (wealthfolio.app)
**Title:** Wealthfolio: For Those Who Mistake Complexity for Security

**Summary:**
A fresh software gig, "Wealthfolio," appears to crack the code of tracking investments privately, seemingly unaware that their target audience of spreadsheet fetishists won't pay for open-source bread if they've only tasted free circuses. Meanwhile, in the comment rodeo, an open-source aficionado breaks character, clamoring for the developers to charge "a lot" for their software unless they fancy subsisting on goodwill and fresh air. Elsewhere, a Quicken warrior battles the vile UIs of the banking world, weeping for the golden age of direct imports without ever getting their armor dirty with CSV files. Ah, the modern-day heroes who'd rather storm out of a bank than click 'download.' Truly, we live in a society. 🙃
615 points by a-fadil 2024-09-06T12:56:15.000000Z | 182 comments
4. ▲ Show QN: Infinity – Realistic AI characters that can speak
**The Brave New World of AI That Barely Works**

In a stunning display of technological mediocrity, Hacker News showcases "Infinity" — the latest AI that can allegedly create realistic characters who speak, if your definition of "realistic" stretches to include zombie-eyed Gnomes and botched Duke Nukems. One user, flailing in the depths of AI-generated nonsense, fixes Duke by linking a YouTube video, presumably because the AI couldn’t handle a pixelated 90s action hero. Amidst the self-congratulatory echo chamber, another user cries foul, claiming their product was ripped off, right down to the buggy UI. But don't worry, there’s always a side-splitter browsing these geniuses at work — someone almost woke their kid up laughing. Oh, the hilarity of low expectations! 🤖😂
240 points by lcolucci 2024-09-06T16:47:04.000000Z | 176 comments
5. ▲ Show QN: Using SQL's Turing completeness to build Tetris (github.com/nuno-faria)
**Today in Hacker News absurdity**: A brave soul demonstrates Turing completeness by torturing SQL into running Tetris. Because why improve software or solve real issues when you can spend hours making a database query drop blocks? Meanwhile, comments oscillate between incredulity and adoration, as Hacker News denizens typically starved for weekend plans now enshrine SQL Tetris next to their rediscovered sourdough starters. "This is the sort of thing that makes me love software so much," cries one user, likely echoing from the depths of their parent's basement. SQL, welcome to the game dev playground — may the queries be ever in your favor! 💾🎮
176 points by nffaria 2024-09-04T12:28:20.000000Z | 10 comments
6. ▲ Mapping 20k ships that sank during WW II (arcgis.com)
**World War II Shipwreck Extravaganza! Click Here to See How Nations Literally Threw Metal Into the Ocean!**

We get it, kids, WW II was baaaad, but did anyone know just how many toys were lost in the tub? Thanks to our favorite online arts and crafts tool, ArcGIS, we can now point and sob at every single spot where a ship decided to embrace the ocean floor. One inquisitive commenter discovers the geographical wonders of wars and somehow manages to turn it into a trivia fact that will surely impress no one at their next dinner party. Meanwhile, maritime enthusiasts casually discuss the logistics of whale feeding habits versus global ship-routing problems 🐳✈️🚢, because *apparently*, that's an urgent comparison we all needed clarified. Buckle up, history buffs—this map won't just show you sunken ships; it'll sink your whole evening with excessively minute details!
255 points by ohjeez 2024-09-03T15:38:11.000000Z | 124 comments
7. ▲ Manipulating Large Language Models to Increase Product Visibility (arxiv.org)
The digital prophets at arXiv have churned out yet another groundbreaking paper that will surely revolutionize the way we spam search engines and manipulate consumer perception. As intellectuals and basement-dwellers unite, the quest to creatively abuse large language models for increased product visibility is heralded as the next big leap in making sure your completely unnecessary product appears first on every unrelated search query. Meanwhile, the discerning commenters trip over themselves in a frenzied rush to miss the point entirely, debating the ethical nuances of AI in a scramble to display their superior intellect. Will they succeed in changing the world, or just inflate their digital egos? Only time, and the next refresh of arXiv's RSS feed, will tell.
11 points by bookofjoe 2024-09-06T22:13:47.000000Z | 0 comments
8. ▲ How does cosine similarity work? (tomhazledine.com)

The Mystical Art of Cosine Similarity: A Guide for the Terminally Confused


In yet another groundbreaking exposition, tomhazledine.com takes us deep into the bewildering world of vectors, or 'embeddings' if you prefer sounding smarter at cocktail parties. Here, we learn that 'cosine similarity' isn't just a fancy term you drop to impress a date but indeed involves angles and math, shocking legions of commenters who had blissfully avoided trigonometry since high school. One brave soul attempts to demystify the concept by reducing it to 'the sum of term-by-term products of normalized vectors', essentially describing every math problem ever but with more steps. Meanwhile, the rest of the peanut gallery battles over whether this is geometry or just a desperate cry for help from people who see vectors in their sleep.
89 points by tomhazledine 2024-09-04T11:52:41.000000Z | 44 comments
9. ▲ LÖVR – A simple Lua framework for rapidly building VR experiences (github.com/bjornbytes)
**Hacker News Discovers VR: A New Dimension of Incompetence**

In today's enthralling episode of "Developers Discover VR and Pretend It's Easy," LÖVR, a Lua framework that promises you can make VR experiences while being blissfully ignorant of programming, hits the spotlight. Watch excitedly as tech enthusiasts turn a straightforward drag-and-drop interface into the equivalent of defusing a bomb. Comment sections overflow with the kind of sheer optimism and confusion that makes you question if humanity really should be trusted with technology. Meanwhile, a brave soul attempts to port OpenGL tutorials, only to discover that LÖVR is as supportive of Apple Vision Pro as a soup spoon is of eating cereal. 🎭🕶️
93 points by siegers 2024-09-04T14:27:47.000000Z | 11 comments
10. ▲ Will open science change chemistry? (chemistryworld.com)
**Will Open Science Transform Chemistry? Or Just Open a Can of Worms?**

In another groundbreaking revelation from Chemistry World, where nostalgia for the 70's still lingers like the scent of mothballs, eager commenters tackle the titanic idea of "open science" transforming chemistry. One reminds us that clinging to Fortran libraries is the true mark of scientific prowess, while another highlights our heroic journey from shady basement labs to possibly, one day, clicking through a digital library as seamlessly as a Netflix binge. Critics unite in the solemn fear that some poor rogue chemist might bootstrap the next Frankenstein from Open Access parts -- that is, if they can dodge the crippling subscription fees and evade blowing themselves up first. 🧪💥💻
35 points by daphnemichala 2024-09-03T11:59:56.000000Z | 11 comments
11. ▲ 2M users but no money in the bank (exercism.org)
**Exercism Bankruptcy Bonanza**
Here’s another feel-good trainwreck 🚂💥 for the internet to gawk at. Exercism, the digital dojo for ambitious code jockeys, joyfully reveals hitting **2M users** but simultaneously wallows in the agony of having less cash than a lemonade stand. iHiD, eternally optimistic captain of this sinking ship, sobs into his keyboard as he explains why even 45 **million** exercise submissions can’t keep the lights on. Meanwhile, the comment section descends into a circus of 💩 unsolicited business advice, self-promoting saviors, and emotionally charged fans advocating for anything but the real answer: making actual money. God forbid we weave in a few non-invasive ads in between those precious lines of code! 🤑
441 points by leandot 2024-09-06T07:16:38.000000Z | 267 comments
12. ▲ LSP: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (michaelpj.com)
**Haskell Hipster Hates His Handiwork**
The Webcentric Wonderboy of Haskell, after half a decade lost in LSP labyrinths, decides it's time to share his "revolutionary" truisms on why designing open protocols is like making a salad in a blender—messy, mixed, but somehow still predictable. Revelations include such earth-shattering insights as "architecture matters," and "protocols are hard," only rivaled by commenters falling over themselves to praise the chewed-over regurgitations of old blog posts like they’ve discovered fire. Indeed, the heated debate about LSP's openness ends up sounding less like expert protocol critique and more like a GNU/Linux flame war, proving once again that tech debates are the gift that keeps on recompiling. 🔄💻🔥
144 points by bryjnar 2024-09-03T23:17:23.000000Z | 34 comments
13. ▲ Tesorio Is Hiring a Senior GenAI Engineer and Django Engineer (100% Remote) (tesorio.com)
Another Day, Another "Disruptive" Startup Looking for Saviors: Tesorio, the leader in buzzword bingo, is scouring the globe for a GenAI Engineer and a Django Engineer who can pretend to love data science as much as ping pong tournaments at company retreats. Experience in leveraging overhyped tech while crafting "revolutionary" finance tools preferred. Commenters, limber up those typing fingers to either blindly worship the groundbreaking team spirit or deride the hollow artificial intelligence claims. Either way, pack your virtual bags—you’re probably heading to Panama City in 2024 🌴 where insights and algorithms flow like cheap margaritas!
0 points by 2024-09-06T21:02:21.000000Z | 0 comments
14. ▲ Minifying HTML for GPT-4o: Remove all the HTML tags (blancas.io)
### HTML Minification: The Comedy of Errors

Once again, the internet treats us to a thrilling debate on whether GPT-4o can differentiate between a Mercury Prize table and the periodic table without its HTML training wheels. As one enlightened commenter suggests, throwing the LLM into the chaotic depths of "random, messy, scattered-with-spam" sites might yield *true enlightenment*🧙‍♂️. Meanwhile, another genius proposes we cheat the system by feeding it a fake HTML page—because, apparently, GPT-3 taught us nothing about fabricating data. Meanwhile, several scrapers, Markdown converters, and an unsolicited Elixir library recommendation later, we are no closer to solving if GPT can truly parse HTML, or if it's just well-versed in the art of Internet Clutter. Bravo 👏, tech wizards. Bravo.
69 points by edublancas 2024-09-05T13:51:22.000000Z | 24 comments
15. ▲ Moondance: Experience the marvel that is night-blooming tobacco (theamericanscholar.org)
The American Scholar, in yet another audaciously thrilling exposé, unveils the "marvel" of night-blooming tobacco—a plant that does the unthinkable: it blooms at night. Gardening enthusiasts and insomniacs alike rejoice in the comments, one-upping each other with tales of nighttime flora, while subtly hinting their backyards might just be portals to Narnia. Debates flare as to whether the scent of moonlit nicotine can indeed cure existential dread or if it’s just another suburban legend like privacy or affordable housing. 🌚🚬
8 points by samclemens 2024-09-03T19:08:28.000000Z | 0 comments
16. ▲ Pulsar, micro creative coding playground (muffinman.io)
On muffinman.io, apparently nobody told them that "micro creative coding playground" sounds more like a techy euphemism for "my first JavaScript disaster" than a legitimate coding resource. This pulsar of pretension invites aspiring coders to tweak pre-written scripts, ensuring a therapeutic escape into a world where, yes, changing a color can feel like hacking the Matrix. The comment section, a delightful cesspool of misplaced semicolons and existential dread, excels at celebrating minimal change as if it's groundbreaking innovation. 🚀💻 Finally, a safe space where "Hello, World!" impresses everyone.
4 points by stankot 2024-09-03T05:25:22.000000Z | 0 comments
17. ▲ Oya, I've heard of mega-ROMs (leadedsolder.com)
### Digital Dumpster Diving for Dummies

At leadedsolder.com, the tech-savvy nostalgia nerd embarks on a quixotic quest to reverse-engineer Konami cartridges so he can relive the heady days of MSX gaming without paying eBay's extortionate nostalgia tax. What could be a heartwarming tale of digital archeology swiftly turns into a master class in techno-jargon that alienates all but the most devout circuit-heads. Meanwhile, the comment section predictably transforms into a humblebrag battleground, where readers flex their trivial knowledge on obscure tech specs and the moral intricacies of game piracy. Because why pay fifty bucks for a game when you could spend countless hours and brain cells building a contraption to play it for free? 🤓💾🔧
64 points by zdw 2024-09-03T16:50:26.000000Z | 6 comments
18. ▲ Effects of Gen AI on High Skilled Work: Experiments with Software Developers (ssrn.com)
Corporate Alchemy: Turning One Programmer into Three! In the latest technobabble echolalia to mercilessly assail the sanity of anyone with actual work experience, a scholarly rant disguised as research gloriously discovers that companies still think cloning their employees via fancy terms like "DevSecOps" counts as innovation. 💼🔧 Meanwhile, the peanut gallery swaps tales of surviving under caffeinated duress in their code-laden trenches, morphing slowly but surely into jargon-juggling, business-strategizing, half-baked AI "experts" overnight. And through it all, the heroic commentators pat themselves on the back, reaffirming their shared delusion that squeezing three jobs into one deserves a medal—or at least hazard pay. 🥇🤖💸
139 points by Anon84 2024-09-06T11:21:57.000000Z | 240 comments
19. ▲ Your Name in Landsat (nasa.gov)
In an unparalleled showcase of combining technology with a kindergarten letter-teaching moment, NASA's "Landsat Alphabet Viewer" graces us by turning high-tech satellite imagery into a very slow-loading game of Scrabble™ over the globe. Web enthusiasts and accidental visitors bombard the comments section with technical tangents—from declaring Safari glitches as gospel to unwarranted tech support sessions that no one asked for. Meanwhile, an imaginative parent leverages this glacial tool to spell out the names of all their child's dolls, because what else would you use 77TB of satellite data for? Keep refreshing, your letter might just pop up before the next Ice Age. 🌍🔤💤
176 points by warrenm 2024-09-03T14:43:01.000000Z | 30 comments
20. ▲ Understanding the Layout Process in Qt Widgets (felipefarinon.com)
**Understanding The Layout Process in Qt Widgets: A Cry for Help**

Today in tech, a systems programmer dives headfirst into the heart-pounding world of Qt Widgets, choosing it over the sultry temptations of QML for the "good support" - a phrase we presume is now synonymous with "it just barely works on desktops." In this thrilling edition of "Why I'm Stuck with What I've Got," our hero outlines the myriad of ways in which Qt Widgets is less about coding and more about coping. Commenters chime in with tales of woe and nostalgia, each reaffirming their commitment to the beleaguered framework like survivors at a support group meeting. One daring soul suggests patience with Qt Quick, which is a bit like advising someone to enjoy the music while their ship sinks. 🎻🚢
41 points by felipefar 2024-09-05T18:44:01.000000Z | 23 comments
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