Quacker News daily superautomated ai tech-bro mockery | github | podcast
1. ▲ Reclaim the Stack (reclaim-the-stack.com)
**Reclaim the Stack: Where Silicon Valley Waste Meets First-World Problems**
In a heroic tale of misguided engineering heroics, modern-day Sisyphuses earnestly debate the merits of **moving from Heroku to Kubernetes**—because, clearly, ditching an expensive platform _just to end up managing your own infrastructure_ is peak tech brilliance. Embrace the joys as commenters leapfrog from expert advice on using AWS ECS (it's just "easy peasy lemon squeezy" after that first blood sacrifice to the IAM gods), to promoting the simplicity of bash scripts over a VM for those who measure their tech prowess in ARR rather than actual technology sophistication. Meanwhile, someone ardently believes that throwing words like "Fargate" and "Render" into a discussion will definitely mask their existential dread over their architecture choices. 🚀🙄🤡
127 points by dustedcodes 2024-09-08T22:11:02.000000Z | 58 comments
2. ▲ Creating a Git Commit: The Hard Way (avestura.dev)
**Creating a Git Commit: The Hard Way (avestura.dev)**

Today in the life-depleting depths of developer blogs, a brave soul reinvents the wheel by ditching user-friendly 'Porcelain' commands for the cryptic delights of Git's 'Plumbing' commands. Because evidently, making a simple commit isn't exhilarating enough unless it's done the hard way. Commenters, starved for complexity, swoon over this arcane knowledge. Watch as they compare this monumental achievement to Julia Evans, celebrate the avoidance of actually remembering Git commands, and share more tools to add even more steps to your already overcrowded workflow. Git ready for a wild ride through unnecessary complication! 🙄🔧💻
47 points by avestura 2024-09-04T18:47:59.000000Z | 3 comments
3. ▲ The Fennel Programming Language (fennel-lang.org)
The Fennel Programming Language, a nifty syntactical bridge to enlightenment for those enthralled by Lua's simplicity yet plagued by its "seven wonders of the programming world" level quirks, heralds its own suite of enhancements conveniently wrapped in Lisp flavor. Hooray, now developer hipsters and code ninjas alike can ponder the existential benefits of macro systems and pattern matching in a world where embedding Lisp just "isn't quirky enough" 🕶️. In overzealous pursuit, commenters—armed with endless anecdotes of their newfound coding nirvana—rival over who transformed their legacy codebase the fastest using Fennel's magical constructs, while simultaneously mourning the unmet pinnacle of embedding ease and REPL utopia. Meanwhile, practical issues involving unexpected placeholders spiral into a debugging odyssey ignored by most, but passionately lamented by the select philosophical few questioning their life choices in comment sections. 🧐
64 points by tosh 2024-09-08T21:06:40.000000Z | 15 comments
4. ▲ Core: an experimental new way to write videogames (github.com/damn)
Another Day, Another Developer's Nirvana
In a valiant attempt to mask complexity with simplicity, the 'Core' emerges as a flamboyant new playground for game developers on Github. With promises of an Action-RPG paradise through editable vectors and maps, the Core gently reminds that you still need to make that pesky game. Commenters, akin to experts in every conceivable engine, make a Beijing Olympic sport out of parading their biases, oblivious to the irony of discussing component systems while probably never finishing “Hello, World!” 👾 Critics of each other’s favorite toys — from Godot’s 'confusing' UI to Unity’s spaghetti mess — these keyboard warriors showcase the full spectrum of developer rage and utopia, accomplishing little beyond flexing their vocab of technical jargon. Where’s the game though? 🎮
184 points by resatori 2024-09-08T18:21:00.000000Z | 118 comments
5. ▲ Linux's Bedtime Routine (tookmund.com)
**Linux's Bedtime Routine: A Geeky Lullaby**
In a dazzling display of insomnia, a brave soul ventures deep into the abyss of C code to unravel the mysteries of Linux's snooze functionality. Apparently, *Linux* doesn't just "turn off"; it partakes in a ceremonial dance of code, syncing file systems as if performing rhythmic gymnastics. Commenters, armed with their anecdotal evidence and self-awarded computer science degrees, engage in heated debates about the effectiveness of this nuanced bedtime process, sharing tales of systems that either sleep like babies or suffer from incurable insomnia. 🖥️💤😂
19 points by JNRowe 2024-09-08T22:31:20.000000Z | 0 comments
6. ▲ Exploiting CI / CD Pipelines for fun and profit (razzsecurity.com)
**Hacker Heaven: The .git Catastrophe Workout**

Today on RazzSecurity, an intrepid blogger once again **shocks** the world by discovering that water is wet, sky is blue, and developers routinely shove sensitive data into their .git directories like it's a digital junk drawer. Who knew? Through a death-defying journey of clicking URLs, the hero of our story uncovered credentials and took over a server, reminding everyone that the true CI/CD pipeline stands for "Compromise Internally/Compromise Devastatingly." In the comments, there's an uproar as armchair experts compete to yell the loudest about how *they* would never make such rookie mistakes, entirely missing the irony that they, too, probably use "password123" for their bank account. One commenter suggests the revolutionary idea of not using .git for password storage, applauded by peers as if they've just solved quantum gravity. 🙄
30 points by mukesh610 2024-09-08T21:52:04.000000Z | 7 comments
7. ▲ Htmx, Raku and Pico CSS (rakujourney.wordpress.com)
**Nostalgia Overload in Modern Web Development**

In today's episode of "Ancient Coders Try New Tricks," a sentimental developer embarks on a quixotic journey to make web development great again (MWGA) by reviving the prehistoric era of HTML and rejecting the demonic forces of JavaScript. The blog post, dripping with nostalgia, cries for a return to the so-called simpler days when websites were as dynamic as a fossil exhibit and stylesheets ruled supreme—because apparently, suffering from CSS was less painful than understanding JavaScript. Commenters, in a dazzling display of one-upmanship, compete in reminiscing about the 'good ol' days' of web tables and spacer GIFs while subtly bragging about minimal use of JavaScript in their current projects using HTMX—because why advance when you can comfortably regress? One wonders if their web browsers are also time machines, whisking them back to a 1998 where these complaints might still be relevant. 🕸️👴🏻💾
49 points by librasteve 2024-09-08T19:51:20.000000Z | 19 comments
8. ▲ alphaXiv: Open research discussion on top of arXiv (alphaxiv.org)
**alphaXiv: Because Reading Papers Wasn't Already Fun Enough**

In an online world desperate for another platform that nobody asked for, alphaXiv swoops in to save the day! Academics, now you can argue over the benefits of PDF and HTML formats as *definitively* as you dispute the merits of string theory. Brace yourselves for animated comment sections where the enthusiasm for HTML’s clickable images is matched only by the outrage over PDF’s nostalgic page references. And let’s not forget the groundbreaking usernames with spaces, because what really matters is making sure no one can properly mention you during heated debates about syntax-highlighted codeblocks. 📄🔥🤓
455 points by sahebjot 2024-09-08T06:57:18.000000Z | 153 comments
9. ▲ 16th Century Irish Hipsters (irisharchaeology.ie)
Title: 16th Century Irish Hipsters (irisharchaeology.ie)

Once again, the internet resurrects something nobody asked for, with a riveting exposé on historical hipsterdom. Irish mercenaries from the 1520s apparently sported hairdos that could easily pass for modern-day barista or indie-band frontman, complete with an obnoxiously long fringe (or 'glib,' if you want to get technical and sound like you’re *not* from this century). Commenters, in a desperate scramble to view the iconic 'do, mourn a dead link like they're at the world's saddest funeral, while someone heroically pastes yet another archive URL, fueling our never-ending nostalgia for ye olde hipster looks. Yawn, can we go back to not caring about the 16th-century hairstyling, please? 👴🎸📜
14 points by slater 2024-09-04T00:21:47.000000Z | 2 comments
10. ▲ Unconventional Case Study of Neoadjuvant Oncolytic Virotherapy for Breast Cancer (mdpi.com)
Title: DIY Cancer Treatment: Because Who Needs Doctors Anyway?

In a world where the phrase "self-care" has taken a rather radical turn, a virologist decides to treat her own recurrent breast cancer with some oncolytic viruses casually lying around in her lab. Because, why undergo standard treatment protocols when you can turn yourself into a living lab experiment? The comment sections erupt with a mix of homebrew pharmacologists and armchair ethicists debating the merits of self-medication and the horrors of regulatory oversight. Should patents include a DIY section? Stay tuned as the audience discusses whether the next step in personalized medicine involves a scalpel and an online tutorial.
107 points by Amezarak 2024-09-06T16:20:55.000000Z | 37 comments
11. ▲ ATProto for Distributed System Engineers (atproto.com)
The elite engineers at Bluesky have concocted the revolutionary AT Proto, a cure-all protocol promising to make every distributed system engineer's day either a dream come true or a throbbing migraine. Designed for those who can't resist turning a single database into an overly complex, cache-juggling, shard-splitting circus of servers, AT Proto is heralded as the Swiss Army knife for social networking scalability. Commenters, buzzing with the usual prophetic confidence, outdid each other with crypto-bro lexicon and fierce advocacy for their favorite database flavors. Who knew distributed systems could spark such an impassioned brawl over consistency models? 🍿🤯
7 points by danabramov 2024-09-09T00:04:01.000000Z | 0 comments
12. ▲ Charging lithium-ion batteries at high currents first increases lifespan by 50% (eurekalert.org)
**SLAC Scientists Revolutionize Battery Charging, No One Will Use It**

In an electrifying display of common sense that was almost mistaken for actual innovation, researchers have decided that zapping lithium-ion batteries with *high currents* at birth magically extends their lifespans by 50%. Of course, in the swirling vortex of internet wisdom, commentators quickly pointed out that this will never hit your smartphone because, dear consumer, your incessant need to upgrade is the lifeblood of capitalism. 📱💸 Another commenter, likely wearing a tin foil hat, suggests that if we can't even figure out regular battery life expectations, perhaps doubling down on ones with accelerated charging isn't the brightest idea. Meanwhile, tech aficionados everywhere toggle between dismay and apathy, ever-prepared to lament the death of their devices precisely two months post-warranty.
80 points by snazz 2024-09-08T22:06:44.000000Z | 33 comments
13. ▲ "Unstripping" binaries: Restoring debugging information in GDB with Pwndbg (trailofbits.com)
At Trail of Bits, the quest for turning GDB into something less miserable for debugging stripped binaries continues with Jason's summer project — because apparently, being able to make sense of what you're debugging without resorting to psychedelic substance use is a real goal now 🤪. Let's all take a moment to appreciate the audacious attempt to make GDB not just a cryptic relic by integrating it with Binary Ninja — because who doesn't want more complexity in their debugging tools? Comments reveal a unanimous nostalgia for when debugging was more akin to sorcery than science. One brilliant soul misread “pwndbg” as a Welsh term, contributing more to the field of comedy than debugging ever will.
102 points by aa_is_op 2024-09-08T17:23:14.000000Z | 12 comments
14. ▲ Jd – JSON Diff and Patch (github.com/josephburnett)
**Hacker News Presents: "Jd – JSON Diff and Patch," Where Too Much Free Time Meets Overengineering.** In the latest episode of GitHub theater, a brave developer unleashes "jd," a tool designed to diff and patch JSON like it's 1999. Commenters, frothing for anything that can run on command line, trip over themselves praising the utility, while subtly flexing their own arcane workflow hacks with other obscure tools. One enthusiastic keyboard warrior dreams out loud about integrating `jq` queries, because clearly, what the world needs is more complexity in a simple diff tool! Truly, jd is the hero we never asked for, but all apparently deserve. 🎭🔧
26 points by smartmic 2024-09-08T19:48:36.000000Z | 2 comments
15. ▲ Telum II at Hot Chips 2024: Mainframe with a Unique Caching Strategy (chipsandcheese.com)
Title: IBM Clings to Relevance with Shiny New Mainframe Cache Tricks at Hot Chips 2024

In an adrenaline-fueled quest to justify the existence of mainframes in a world swarming with more agile technologies, IBM pulls a rabbit out of its proverbial hat with the Telum II at Hot Chips 2024. Here, Dave Plummer, a respected relic from Microsoft’s glory days, dives exuberantly into the antiquated abyss of IBM’s z16, a machine boldly resisting the siren call of obsolescence. Commenters, a delightful mix of nostalgia addicts and tech cynics, debate passionately about whether stuffing a dinosaur with AI and *40TB caching tricks* is innovation or merely a pricey way to keep old transistors company. 🦕💾 Meanwhile, classic concerns such as "Why don't they just spin off the whole mainframe gig?" mingle with geeky ponderings about "adaptive cache sizes" and the esoteric mysteries of L4 victim caches, illustrating the enduring charm of *expensive solutions in search of a problem.* 😅
37 points by mfiguiere 2024-09-08T18:51:59.000000Z | 14 comments
16. ▲ LibrePythonista allows running IPython code in a LibreOffice spreadsheet (github.com/amourspirit)
In a world craving unnecessary complexity, LibrePythonista swoops in to save the day by allowing users to run Python in a LibreOffice spreadsheet. Because, you know, using a plain old Python script is just too mainstream for the avant-garde spreadsheet jockey. Commenters, drunk on open source Kool-Aid and mostly ignoring the finer details of software bloat and repository pollution, line up to offer kudos, slightly off-topic alternatives, and obligatory GitHub issues. Dive in, if spaghetti code in spreadsheets is your kind of Friday night party! 🐍📊
117 points by buovjaga 2024-09-04T07:56:48.000000Z | 29 comments
17. ▲ LLM_transcribe_recording: Bash Helper Using Mlx_whisper (gist.github.com)
In the latest testament to developer indolence, a bright spark has finally murdered the last shred of transcription productivity by cobbling together a Bash script that uses Mlx_whisper to transcribe recordings. The repository, flung onto gist.github.com like a digital paper airplane, promises to "instantly share code, notes, and snippets," because remembering anything for longer than a nanosecond is so last millennium. The comments section unfolds as a predictable symphony of misplaced awe and half-baked troubleshooting advice, as GitHub warriors congratulate themselves on revolutionizing the unnecessary. Truly, we live in the golden age of reinventing the wheel with more steps.
6 points by Olshansky 2024-09-08T23:14:01.000000Z | 0 comments
18. ▲ Open Props – Supercharged CSS Variables (open-props.style)

Open Props: Self-Proclaimed CSS Wizardry


In an era where every CSS framework promises to shave milliseconds off your load times and give your projects an aesthetic uplift, Open Props pitches itself with the allure of "supercharged CSS variables," kind of like giving espresso shots to your already hyperactive stylesheet. Users engage in the comments with a mix of confusion over layout decisions and pseudo-technical musings, debating whether Open Props can dethrone the bulwark of awkward utility classes known as Tailwind. Meanwhile, style aficionados spar over alternatives like Pollen, demonstrating that CSS framework discourse could, in fact, be the tech equivalent of rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Forget cohesive UI consistency—let's pile on more variables! ⚡🎨
12 points by homarp 2024-09-08T21:12:14.000000Z | 4 comments
19. ▲ Infisical (YC W23) Is Hiring a Developer Who Love Writing (ycombinator.com)
**Infisical: Cryptic Code Custodians Wanted!**

At Infisical, the almighty keeper of secrets (yes, things developers scribble and then forget), they're on a manic quest to snag a medieval scribe who can code—or was it a coder who can scribble? Either way, they manage oodles of secrets a day, ensuring even your grandpa’s Yahoo password stays safe from his old poker buddies. They lure you in with big names like Hugging Face 🤗, presumably because a friendly emoji implies robust data security. Meanwhile, the comment section is ablaze with keyboard warriors battling over tab versus space indents, bravely ignoring the job ad but fiercely committed to securing their spot as the clairvoyant of all secret hoarding lore. Join Infisical and become a secret-keeper—or at least pretend to manage the chaos unleashed by developers who can't remember what they had for lunch. 🚀
0 points by 2024-09-08T17:00:02.000000Z | 0 comments
20. ▲ The Problem with the "Hard Problem" (edwardfeser.blogspot.com)
🎓📚🤔 *The Problem with the "Hard Problem"* sees yet another armchair philosopher bravely battle the winds of the unfathomable, grappling with "qualia" as if they were scattered lego blocks on the floor of modern philosophy. Our valiant blogsmith, backed by a pedigree of glowing commendations that smell suspiciously of old library books—*National Review* insists he's "one of the best" (but what competition was there, really?)—delves deep into the quagmire that real scientists gave up on when they realized they could publish more by sticking to things that actually exist. In the comments, a delightful circus of pseudointellectual regurgitation: everyone agreeing fervently without understanding a word, quoting Nietsche and Kant like they're battling it out for a philosopher king crown at a cosplay event. Truly, philosophy remains the art of talking in circles, chased fervently by those entranced by the sound of their own text. 🙃🎩💬
4 points by KqAmJQ7 2024-09-04T18:42:15.000000Z | 0 comments
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