Quacker News daily superautomated ai tech-bro mockery | github | podcast
1. ▲ DeskPad – A virtual monitor for screen sharing (github.com/stengo)
Title: DeskPad - Another Digital Doohickey You Never Knew You Didn't Need

In the digital version of "fixing something that ain't broke," DeskPad strides onto the scene to solve screen-sharing issues that could probably be solved by just sitting closer to the monitor or, heaven forbid, turning on screen zoom. Because it's always easier to download yet another piece of software than press 'Cmd +' a few times, right? Meanwhile, the comment section devolves into a tech-quibbling sideshow, featuring frustrated commenters competing to showcase their custom setups that are _obviously_ superior because they bypass this 'mainstream' solution. Bonus points for the heroic souls daring to configure OBS only to discover the hidden beauty of technical overcomplication. 😱🍿
567 points by geerlingguy 2024-10-10T16:36:54.000000Z | 94 comments
2. ▲ The Copenhagen Book: general guideline on implementing auth in web applications (thecopenhagenbook.com)

The Coding Prodigy: Auth Tales and Copenhagen Chronicles


Welcome to the latest geek chatter around "The Copenhagen Book," the shining beacon for every developer who mistakenly thinks authentication is their life's calling. Our hero, the creator of Lucia now turned scribe, decides writing marginally useful guides is a step up from maintaining actual code. Comment sections are alive with tales of awe at this teenage marvel balancing university, obfuscation mastery, and library funerals. Meanwhile, the average Joe just wants to bake cookies, not hash tokens. 🍪💻🤷‍♂️
267 points by sebnun 2024-10-10T18:37:01.000000Z | 70 comments
3. ▲ AAA Gaming on Asahi Linux (rosenzweig.io)
**AAA Gaming Tries Linux on for Size**

In what might seem like an episode of "Tech Enthusiasts Try The Impossible," Asahi Linux developers have managed to hobble together a toolkit for gaming on M1 hardware – a feat surely to excite all twelve Linux gaming enthusiasts out there. The package comes complete with Vulkan 1.3 drivers glued to x86 emulation, because why simply game when you can turn your setup into a Rube Goldberg machine to start *Control*? Bonus points are awarded for using the term "conformant" multiple times, assuring us that everything is totally ready for prime time (it's not). Meanwhile, in the comment section, armchair system architects and optimism merchants debate the feasibility of a utopian gaming future powered by ARM, while casually ignoring that most of us will stick to real gaming rigs and consoles. What dreams may come, indeed!
413 points by 6a74 2024-10-10T14:16:28.000000Z | 147 comments
4. ▲ Show QN: HTML for People (htmlforpeople.com)
In an inspiring moment of absolute redundancy, HTML for People pretends the internet just landed on our laps from 1991 and nobly attempts to teach "everyone" the dying art of building a static webpage. With a blissfully naive approach, Blake Watson, the patron saint of late adopters, heralds the revolutionary idea that anyone can craft HTML masterpieces without prior geek credentials—because, as we all know, the real barrier to tech inclusivity was not understanding <div> tags. Commenters, drowning in nostalgia, wax poetic about the good old days of file directories, while simultaneously bemoaning the ignorance of the digital native youth—who, shockingly, can swipe before they can click. The struggle between advocating basic tech education and not understanding why it’s needed is real and tragicomic. 🤦‍♂️📂💻
206 points by blakewatson 2024-10-10T17:47:42.000000Z | 54 comments
5. ▲ Uxn (100r.co)
**Welcome to the Uxn cult: celebrating complexity since never**. Ever feel like your software is too efficient and universal? Fear not, the Uxn/Varvara ecosystem is here to satisfy your thirst for obscure virtual machines and the joy of running applications that could probably be simpler as a spreadsheet macro. Join the elite few on IRC and Discord who can claim they have transcoded the Rosetta Stone into Uxn bytecode by candlelight. Meanwhile, commenters toggle between marveling at its minimalist beauty and puzzling over why anyone would sideline modern CPUs for the warm, fuzzy logic of an 8-bit VM romance. It's like building a sandcastle with tweezers and a microscope — because why not?
167 points by tosh 2024-10-08T14:52:33.000000Z | 22 comments
6. ▲ Game Programming in Prolog (thingspool.net)

Game Programming in Prolog: Reinventing the Wheel for Fun and No Profit



When tired of all mainstream programming languages, why not take a monumental detour into Prolog for game development? As the article inevitably engages the Lisp and Prolog enthusiasts with its thick nostalgia from MIT’s 1986 lecture vibes, commenters drool over finally using big-brain languages for creating Tetris remakes. Meanwhile, they pass around GitHub repos and outdated tutorial links like a rare collectible, reinforcing the engaging dialogue of the technically enlightened. Surely, the mass adoption of Prolog in game development is just around the corner, so gear up for that revolution, or, you know, don't. 🚀😂
83 points by febin 2024-10-10T16:50:40.000000Z | 12 comments
7. ▲ Show QN: Tenno – Markdown and JavaScript = a hybrid of Word and Excel (tenno.app)
**Show HN: A cocktail of Markdown and JavaScript dreams up a quirky blend that nobody asked for**

Hackers on HN unleash Tenno, the quirky lovechild of Word and Excel, because apparently, standard tools are just too mainstream for the avant-garde programmer. Amidst some pats on the back, the community quickly descends into a textual tug-of-war about the feasibility of markdown tables and the reproachful looks from non-programmers. Commenters trip over themselves suggesting ways to force this square peg into round corporate holes, while reminiscing about the neglected Emacs setups that could have solved everything. "Great effort," they chant, while they silently open their Google Sheets in another tab. 📊🙄
270 points by deepmacro 2024-10-10T13:15:38.000000Z | 112 comments
8. ▲ ARIA: An Open Multimodal Native Mixture-of-Experts Model (arxiv.org)
In a stunning flex of linguistic bloat, arXiv introduces us to ARIA: An Open Multimodal Native Mixture-of-Experts Model, because apparently, the world was desperately in need of another acronym cocktail that sounds like a rejected Bond girl. The paper, leveraging the full extent of jargon gymnastics, promises to revolutionize something (or perhaps nothing), all while firmly adhering to the highest standards of openness, community, excellence, and whatever new attribute they can append to appear ethically fashionable. Meanwhile, the comment section becomes a battleground where keyboard warriors with AI-generated avatars fight to prove who understands the paper less. Surely, ARIA stands for "Absolutely Ridiculous Intellectual Acrobatics"? 🙄
6 points by jinqueeny 2024-10-11T00:04:52.000000Z | 0 comments
9. ▲ BigSearch Browser Extension (github.com/garywill)
Oh joy, the world needed another browser extension like it needed a hole in the head, but here comes *BigSearch*—crafted in the mystical forge of unnecessary tools to solve problems we didn’t know we had. Revel in the marvel of "definitely more than a GET/POST sender," a claim as bold as selling tap water as a magical health elixir 🎩💦. The GitHub congregation lavishly praises this flexible, Pure-client wonder, declaring it a breakthrough in redundant technology, while awkwardly fumbling through their Vimium-like keystrokes. For those who miss the thrilling days of installing potentially redundant software, fear not, BigSearch is here to interrupt your smooth surfing with a "friendly" UI that confuses novices and satisfies no one.
5 points by Duckyroad 2024-10-11T00:34:01.000000Z | 0 comments
10. ▲ Answer any question about your photo albums with OmniQuery (jiahaoli.net)
Hacker News is awash with joy as a groundbreaking new technology, OmniQuery, promises to sift through your dusty digital memory boxes to answer life's burning questions like "Where did I leave my keys in 2017?" Utilizing high-sounding tech lingo like "Retrieval-Augmented Generation" and a "taxonomy-based contextual data augmentation method," this marvel of modern science will surely cure amnesia with a mere diary entry. Commenters bask in tentative dread, wondering if this will finally let them sort their endless digital clutter — or if it's yet another over-hyped script destined for the grand AI junk drawer. Meanwhile, the true hero, meme-sorting, is still relegated to manual labor. Thank you, future! 🙄💾🔍
28 points by ljhnick 2024-10-07T20:06:46.000000Z | 6 comments
11. ▲ TypedDicts are better than you think (changs.co.uk)
**Programmers Squabble Over Obsolete Python Features**
In a thrilling examination of Python's *TypedDict*, a blogger at changs.co.uk resurrects the dusty PEP-589 for a nerdy necromancy session. The blog post labors to showcase TypedDict's superiority, despite the clearer, wrist-friendly alternatives like dataclass. The comment section becomes a battleground where code warriors boast about slot efficiencies and cache pressures, while others chant the sacred texts of Pydantic. Witness the majestic squabble where the biggest revelation is that Python programmers have too much free time. 🐍💥
62 points by rbanffy 2024-10-10T17:56:11.000000Z | 22 comments
12. ▲ Running WolfSSL and Curl on Windows 2000 (datagirl.xyz)
Title: Running WolfSSL and Curl on Windows 2000 (datagirl.xyz)

In a relentless quest to make the past unforgettably insecure, a heroic blogger has decided to run modern tools like WolfSSL and Curl on a system so old it might just be powered by steam: Windows 2000. Delving deep into the catacombs of software archaeology, the blogger proudly circumvents any semblance of security by making these ancient bits of code do things they never intended – all in the name of progress, or perhaps just nostalgia. Meanwhile, the commenters, likely still using Hotmail and calling their internet provider for support, cheer on as they reminisce about the good old days of dial-up and Clippy. It's a beautiful, misguided dance of antiquity and modern desperation, and everyone's invited except common sense. 🕺💾🚀
5 points by todsacerdoti 2024-10-10T23:18:19.000000Z | 0 comments
13. ▲ FreeWP Is Here to Shake Up the WordPress Ecosystem (freewp.com)
**FreeWP: A Revolution or Just Another Vanity Project?**

In a stunning display of domain name hoarding, one plucky internet revolutionary attempts to __shake up__ the WordPress ecosystem by introducing *FreeWP*—a platform that is, shockingly, not a fork, but a burgeoning gossip column for all things WordPress. Meanwhile, commenters are tripping over themselves to decide whether they're witnessing the birth of a media giant or just another man’s spiraling domain addiction. Spoiler: it's the domains. Yes, the WordPress community might have been waiting for a hero, but maybe next time, they should specify "no domain collectors, please."
14 points by rpgbr 2024-10-10T23:43:14.000000Z | 7 comments
14. ▲ Let's talk about animation quality (theorangeduck.com)
Let's Talk About Animation Quality: The annual struggle-session of "I went to conferences, therefore I know things" is back, featuring an uninformed critique of shadows and an alarmingly naive hot-take on academic reviews. As researchers furiously pat themselves on the back for meticulously avoiding any real comments on their shallow observations, one intrepid commenter, keen to flex their film studies minor, reminds us why Disney's old rotoscoping was art and your animation is trash. Another throws in a tech buzzword, just to assure us that they've seen at least three YouTube tutorials. Join us for another round of pseudo-academic echo chamber where everyone is missing the point, but in breathtaking 4K resolution. 🎨📽️
201 points by ibobev 2024-10-10T10:38:23.000000Z | 61 comments
15. ▲ Bridge to Nowhere (depth-first.com)
Welcome to "Bridge to Nowhere," an article where Richard L. Apodaca remembers figuring out that brain surgery was more a calendar invite than an option, right after appreciating his gargantuan, tennis ball-sized brain tumor on an MRI. In the lush fields of the comments section, armchair neurosurgeons and amateur ethicists duke it out, enlightening us with tales of incredibly similar surgeries, the indomitable spirit of glioblastoma, and unsolicited advice on choosing between spirituality and science during medical crises. It's a rollercoaster of unverified medical expertise and personal anecdotes that could replace anesthesia with its pure soporific power. If you've ever wanted to learn brain surgery over the internet or decipher medical strategies from emoji-laden texts, this treasure trove of confusion is your go-to resource.
48 points by egorpv 2024-10-09T11:39:54.000000Z | 28 comments
16. ▲ Helping wikis move away from Fandom (weirdgloop.org)
**Fleeing the Fandom Fiefdom: A Tale of Wiki Woes**

In a valiant effort reminiscent of a teen movie rebellion, various wiki guardians embark on a quixotic journey to liberate their digital realms from the clutches of the corporate ogre known as Fandom. The erstwhile savior of the Minecraft Wiki now ruefully reminisces about being "a dumb kid" who shacked up with Fandom for a few bucks, while nostalgically tipping his hat to Weird Gloop for achieving what apparently was beyond his youthful grasp. Meanwhile, commenters wistfully recall the halcyon days when Fandom (née Wikia) wasn't the internet equivalent of a shady timeshare salesperson. As we dive into the comments, it becomes clear that the past is colored with rose-tinted glasses of regret and 'what could have been,' making us wonder if this digital exodus is less about server costs and more about reclaiming lost geek pride. 🤓🔗💸
842 points by creatonez 2024-10-10T11:21:53.000000Z | 398 comments
17. ▲ Automating processes with software is hard (learningbyshipping.com)
**Automating Processes: Jumping Into The Unknown Without A Parachute**

In an absolutely thrilling revelation, the wizards behind learningbyshipping.com reveal that automating processes isn't just about flipping switches and watching magic happen! 😱 Commenters chime in with tales of "Jidoka" and human babysitters for rogue automation systems, because apparently, nothing says "efficiency" like manually double-checking your automated processes. One brave soul highlights the perils of automating 100% of tasks, coining the revolutionary idea of only automating "boring" tasks. Meanwhile, another heralds the emergence of a new nightmare: the Product Owner who trusts GPT over human expertise. As chaos reigns, everyone agrees: automation might just be the best way to make simple processes dazzlingly convoluted. 🎉
235 points by rbanffy 2024-10-07T13:02:59.000000Z | 82 comments
18. ▲ Designing a Fast Concurrent Hash Table (ibraheem.ca)
**Designing A Slow Blog Post About Fast Hash Tables**

In an unprecedented display of originality, a brave Rustacean unveils yet another concurrent hash table called "papaya"—because the world was clearly short on options. The blog post dives into the earth-shattering reasons why *papaya* might just be the last Rusty hash table you ever adopt, shunning 'inelegant blobs of shared mutable data' for... well, a slicker blob of shared mutable data. Meanwhile, commenters engage in a delightful techno-babble about PRNGs and vectorization, bravely battling the fearsome dragons of thread safety and synchronization, only to rediscover that only about three people might actually use this in a real project. But hey, at least they're enthusiastic about it! 🚀💻
85 points by burntsushi 2024-10-10T13:15:28.000000Z | 15 comments
19. ▲ Ironies of Automation (1983) (complexcognition.co.uk)
**Ironies of Automation Still Catching Tech Cadets Off Guard**

A 40-year-old paper resurfaces on Hacker News, and silicon savants are just discovering that more tech might not solve all human problems. How revolutionary! In a shocking twist, commenters from 2014 through 2023 treat this epiphany like the first drop of rain after a decade-long drought. "Very interesting read, and new to me. Thank you!" exclaims one enlightened keyboard warrior, apparently unaware of the concept of a library. Meanwhile, another would-be poet threatens to hammer irony into our heads morning and night, as if repetition could forge understanding in this echo chamber of tragically self-aware non-engineers. 😂🔨
16 points by harperlee 2024-10-10T15:42:47.000000Z | 3 comments
20. ▲ How electric trains work and why they make interesting sounds [video] (youtube.com)
On the bleeding edge of obsolescence, a YouTube video attempts to explain how electric trains work and their uncanny ability to serenade the public with their melodic whirring, much to the delight of techno-audiophiles everywhere. Enthusiasts leap into the comments to share their riveting comparisons of trains to musical instruments, each seeming to outdo the last with their increasingly esoteric flexes about understanding PWM modulation and vintage Soviet engineering. One commentator marvels at how train inverters are akin to the symphony of an Austrian train playing all the hits from root to octave, making the rest of us wonder if we just stumbled into a music theory class disguised as a train appreciation thread. Meanwhile, someone casually drops a link to massive IGBTs on Wikipedia as if inviting others to a quaint exhibit of silicon lithography, clearly another day in paradise for engineering nerds. 🚄🎶🤓
121 points by zdw 2024-10-06T15:30:18.000000Z | 45 comments
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