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▲ 1 bug, $50k in bounties, a Zendesk backdoor (gist.github.com)
**1 bug, $50k in bounties, a Zendesk backdoor**
In the digital realm, teenager Daniel stumbles upon a single, gargantuan bug plaguing the software titan, Zendesk, consequently threatening the cyber-peace of "over half of all Fortune 500 companies." Cue the onslaught of forum knights, armed with anecdotes and secondhand security wisdom, feigning surprise that companies don’t conjure up their own magic customer service tools. The comment section becomes a battleground, showcasing an exquisite mix of suppressed rage, technical jargon babble, and gloomy mutterings about corporate stinginess and ethical conundrums. Surely, if the posters were in charge, each byte would be a bastion of impenetrable code and every bug bounty a treasure trove. 🐛💰
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944 points by mmsc
2024-10-12T11:55:12.000000Z |
293 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Exploring Typst, a new typesetting system similar to LaTeX (jreyesr.com)
**Exploring Typst: Because Reinventing The Wheel Needs More Jargon**
In an age where switching tools has become a lifestyle, the blogosphere lights up with **_Typst_**, the new underdog in typesetting. One enthusiastic coder **ditches the arcane art of LaTeX** for Typst, touting its blazing compile times and supreme readability—as if anyone reading the document cares about the backend hurdles of curly braces and square brackets. Meanwhile, the comment section beautifully transforms into Geek Olympics, with disciples of various esoteric techs exchanging their religious beliefs. LaTeX loyalists mourn their dwindling superiority, Markdown mavens shrug off the chaos, and somewhere, a solitary user just wants to know if they can center-align their cat memes faster with Typst. Truly, progress.
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169 points by judell
2024-10-12T18:41:31.000000Z |
44 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Two never-before-seen tools, from same group, infect air-gapped devices (arstechnica.com)
In a dazzling display of paranoia mixed with a dash of cyberpunk, armchair experts on Ars Technica dive deep into the labyrinth of air-gapped cybersecurity following the reveal of GoldenJackal's double whammy against the disconnected. Commenters, weaving through their dystopian fantasies, propose replacing modern technology with QR code exchanges, vintage camera film, and punchcards—because retro is obviously more secure, right? Now you can protect your top-secret meme collection with methods that would make a Cold War spy blush. In the next breath, critiques of USB security morph into tech support for spy-fi gadgets and devices with user manuals thicker than a Tolkien novel—because overly complex security measures *never* go wrong. 🕵️♂️💾🔏
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46 points by lisper
2024-10-09T15:24:37.000000Z |
22 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ FAA grants SpaceX Starship Flight 5 license (faa.gov)
The FAA, in a moment of whimsical abandon that could historically be paralleled by giving a toddler a chainsaw, has granted SpaceX a license to amateurishly hurl yet another one of their so-called "Starships" into the sky. Hacker News, ever the starry-eyed tech utopists, collectively wet their Musk-branded undergarments in awe, spewing 131 comments of unbridled adoration and speculative science based more on sci-fi than on NASA. One optimistic soul vaguely remembers the schedule, marking their Google Calendars for a spectacle that might as well include catching unicorns with a butterfly net. Meanwhile, all are invited to serenade the endeavor with quaint nursery rhymes, blissfully ignoring the looming specter of multimillion-dollar fireworks. 🚀💫
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31 points by cryptoz
2024-10-12T21:39:57.000000Z |
3 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Every bug/quirk of the Windows resource compiler (rc.exe), probably (ryanliptak.com)
In a commendably masochistic dive into the quirks of Windows's resource compiler that absolutely no one asked for, an intrepid soul documents every conceivable bug since the dawn of desktop computing. Commenters, spinning up from deep code-induced trances, contribute esoteric insights like sorcerers divining meaning from scattered bones, solving problems less relevant than an ashtray on a motorcycle. Meanwhile, the brave author pledges allegiance to the the flag of futility by morphing Zig into a Windows RC compiler fetish project, as readers leave more enlightened on how to never use these details in practical scenarios. Welcome to another week in the echo chamber of niche tech nostalgia and misplaced effort. 🙄💾🔮
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63 points by nektro
2024-10-11T22:47:22.000000Z |
6 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Germany's 49-euro ticket resulted in significant shift from road to rail (mcc-berlin.net)
**Germany Discovers Trains, World Stunned**
In an explosive display of rediscovery, Germany realizes that trains can actually transport humans, not just lattes and sausages. After someone scribbles some math on a napkin, the €49 "Deutschland-Ticket" morphs traffic from endless Autobahn nightmares into charming train escapades, slashing CO2 emissions (and probably commuter sanity). Comment sections ignite with economists and casuals duking it out over carbon costs and the audacious thought that trains might just be better than cars for daily commutes. As the subsidy costs debate rages on, a lone commenter reminisces about productive train trips, possibly while sipping a latte in a railway café. 🚂💨
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346 points by mpweiher
2024-10-12T14:47:56.000000Z |
314 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Analyzing New Unique Identifier Formats (UUIDv6, UUIDv7, and UUIDv8) (scaledcode.com)
In a blogosphere where the single thread of novelty has been spun into a ragged tangle, ScaledCode attempts to knit us a brand new sweater with old yarn by diving into "Analyzing New Unique Identifier Formats." Here, UUIDs get a revamp that nobody asked for but will debate extensively, as guaranteed by the magisterial foresight of RFC 4122. The comment section, a delightful cesspool of confusion and one-upmanship, swiftly becomes a tech brawl about whether UUIDv7's striking resemblance to sliced bread is worth the upgrade, or if it's just another way to break your database at scale. Remember, nothing says "progress" like rehashing the purpose of a standard until it's as muddled as the spec itself. 🎉💾
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57 points by futurecat
2024-10-09T13:57:55.000000Z |
39 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Show QN: AOO – C++ library for real-time audio streaming and messaging (iem.sh)
Today, in a thrilling installment of Hacker News theater, a brave soul introduces "AOO": the latest in C++ code designed to make sounds—because apparently, that's what we need more of. The comment section becomes a nerd-fueled love fest where terms like "embedded platforms" and "bindings to other langs" are thrown around like confetti at a parade. Meanwhile, someone actually wonders if this audio library could handle video. 🤦 Because sure, let's turn every audio tool into a Swiss Army knife. Maybe next week they can add a coffee maker to it! 🎉
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27 points by spacechild1
2024-10-12T20:32:47.000000Z |
6 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ A mountain? Multistorey car park? Both? Inside Shanghai's £225M summit (theguardian.com)
In yet another staggering feat of eco-parody, Shanghai decides that if you're gonna have cars, why not bury them under a fake mountain? Because nothing screams "green innovation" like a £225M slab of concrete dressed up as Mother Nature herself, complete with a "gushing" waterfall to wash away the guilt of environmental degradation. Commenters, in an inspiring display of missing the point, cheer this “ingenious” hide-and-seek car pack, eagerly blueprinting how to further urbanize the underground and fantasize about shady underground cities. One whispers of disturbing the "inner earth people," presumably the last guardians of sanity in a world where car parks are now tourist attractions. 🙃
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23 points by PaulHoule
2024-10-09T01:53:23.000000Z |
4 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Washington's 'Forgotten Giant' Volcano Stirs: Surge in Quakes Prompts Monitoring (gizmodo.com)
The illustrious geeks at Gizmodo are trembling in their ergonomic gaming chairs as Washington's "Forgotten Giant" volcano decides it might be time to remind humans who’s really in charge. Between bouts of panic and posting, commenters flail wildly about inadequate government monitoring and the impending volcanic apocalypse. With each tremor, the collective expertise in volcanology amongst the commenters miraculously surges, much like their anxiety levels. Clearly, the real disaster here is people realizing they slept through every science class ever.
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6 points by rbanffy
2024-10-09T18:40:13.000000Z |
0 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ How I animate 3Blue1Brown [video] (youtube.com)
In an electrifying exhibition of pixel prowess, the messianic math maestro of YouTube, 3Blue1Brown, unveils his arcane secrets of animating educational epics, sending his acolytes into a rapturous frenzy. Commenters stumble over themselves to deify the digital chalk-dust, splitting into camps of nostalgic traditionalists lamenting the decline of dusty chalkboards and visionary vanguards advocating animated algebra. One brave soul ponders if, perhaps, the sanctified "what if" queries of curious learners could be the missing link in the archaic academic arsenal, only to be drowned out by ardent defenders of the status quo, who insist that while reform sounds nice, it's just too grand a task for our humble human faculties. Truly, a spectacle of what happens when the unstoppable force of YouTube innovation meets the immovable object of educational inertia. 🎓📚🎨
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609 points by Tomte
2024-10-12T13:06:31.000000Z |
121 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ The Explore vs. Exploit Dilemma (nathanzhao.cc)
In an epic attempt to explain the "Explore vs. Exploit Dilemma" to the laymen and bored tech enthusiasts of his LinkedIn circle, a hopeful blogger takes to the internet to outline his minimally recognized musings drawn from the thrill-filled world of machine learning. Because nothing says "light reading" like analogizing slot machines to decision-making strategies in AI. Harness no surprise as the comment section morphs into a mini-conference, where every AI hobbyist proudly flaunts their half-baked knowledge from that one paper they skimmed on arXiv. Thrill as someone drops a Wikipedia link to ensure no nuance is left unturned in this intellectual free-for-all. 🎰🤖📚
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8 points by nzhaa
2024-10-12T04:58:10.000000Z |
2 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ DuckStation (github.com/stenzek)
**DuckStation: A Quack in the Armor**
In today's episode of 🧐 "How to Alienate Your Entire User Base and Programmer Buddies with a Single License Change," DuckStation developers have unveiled their latest magic trick: turning open-source code into an impenetrable fortress of non-derivatives. Commenters, armed with a peculiar mix of legal jargon and nostalgic rage, embark on a crusade to dissect the 🔍 minutiae of copyright law, while simultaneously mourning the death of their beloved emulator's community spirit. Meanwhile, one brave soul channels their inner rebel by reinforcing their commitment to never buy a PS5, proving that, indeed, every cloud has a 🎮 controller-shaped silver lining.
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112 points by tosh
2024-10-12T10:22:31.000000Z |
44 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ First Greenhouse Gas Plumes Detected with NASA-Designed Instrument (nasa.gov)
**NASA Satellite Turns Snitch on Stinky Methane Plumes, Internet Hivemind Rebukes Space Agency for Staring at Earth**
In a daring feat of technological voyeurism, NASA's earth-peeping Tanager-1 satellite catches methane and carbon dioxide in the act, leaking from various global hideouts. Commenters, bristling with the sudden urge to become space agency fiscal planners, argue whether NASA should gaze at stars or rifle through earth's dirty laundry. One armchair expert demands proof of "political shenanigans," inadvertently revealing a passion for conspiracy theories nurtured by too many late-night forum binges. Another suggests reassigning earth-watching duties to anyone but NASA, presumably to free up the agency to find us a new planet once we're done trashing this one. 🌍💨🔭
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77 points by mywacaday
2024-10-12T20:35:24.000000Z |
22 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Google Ads announces 11-year data retention policy (searchengineland.com)
In a stunning exercise of high-stakes digital hoarding, Google Ads decides that watching over your ad data for nearly two presidential terms is reasonable, ensuring they know what you Googled back when you were young and foolish. 🧐 Meanwhile, the Hacker News tribunal oscillates between protective cynicism and one user’s existential crisis over the longevity of email retention policies. Everyone's gearing up for a picnic in Kafka's labyrinth, hoping a Google Ads wizard might emerge from the corporate mist to save them from evil doppelganger accounts and make car part sales great again. Some commenters just realized that 11 years is less than forever, prompting a sharp intake of breath across Silicon Valley’s standing desks. 🕵️♂️📅
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18 points by vednig
2024-10-12T23:15:26.000000Z |
10 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Lake Michigan Stonehenge – What have researchers learned? (illinoisfishinghub.com)
**Lake Michigan Stonehenge – What have researchers learned?**
In an earth-shattering display of disappointment, internet sleuths and armchair archaeologists unite to deflate the mild excitement around the Lake Michigan "sort of an alignment but not really Stonehenge" from the comfort of their, likely **stone-free**, living rooms. Apparently, the scattered rocks somewhat resembling a line have triggered a comment war of pseudo-intellectual proportions, where PhDs are granted based on YouTube expertise and the ability to squint at blurry photographs. Dr. John O'Shea attempts to steer the sinking ship of reason by suggesting a functional, albeit unromantic, explanation involving prehistoric caribou, but alas, the allure of an American Atlantis enthralls the masses. Meanwhile, commenters are decorated with imaginary laurels as they educate one another on ancient brain surgery and why it's outrageous to have ever assumed our ancestors couldn't invent iPhones. 🙄
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55 points by janandonly
2024-10-09T20:03:58.000000Z |
22 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ PayPal (USA) will automatically share data about you to participating stores (paypal.com)
**PayPal Unveils Latest Privacy Heist with a Smile** 😂
In an ending twist no one saw coming except everyone, PayPal decided to *share your data with every store you’ve ever thought about.* It’s a thrilling read—like discovering the terms of service actually mattered, but only after you’re already trapped. Privacy enthusiasts in the comments bravely remind us that laws work, somehow still shocked that corporations twist them into pretzels. Meanwhile, in a dark corner of the internet, folks debate if knowing Sam Seaborn’s views on privacy could have saved us. Spoiler: it couldn’t.💸🕵️♂️
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190 points by xyst
2024-10-12T20:19:32.000000Z |
58 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Psilocybin bests SSRI for major depression in first long-term comparison (medscape.com)
In a stunning revelation that's sure to change the face of psychiatry forever, a rigorous, bulletproof study of psychedelic proportions finds that magic mushrooms might actually be better than your standard-issue happy pills for treating garden-variety gloom. All this from a whopping sample size of 46 total giants in psychiatric research, half of whom enjoyed 20 whole hours of “please tell me about your mother” alongside their mind-bending experiences, while the other half were sent sad-face emoji questionnaires and a daily helping of Big Pharma's finest. Commenters, having briefly glanced away from their self-diagnosed WebMD afflictions, chime in with shock and awe at this psychedelic victory 🍄, expertly debating the ins and outs of statistical significance and therapy hours as if their last serotonin receptor depended on it. Meanwhile, suggestions for a global, semi-blind Advil dose-ranging extravaganza ensure we’re all in safe, slightly varying hands, providing crucial data points for the ever-watching alien overlords.
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413 points by Thomvis
2024-10-12T11:46:44.000000Z |
286 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ IcePanel (YC W23) is hiring full stack engineers in Vancouver (ycombinator.com)
In another thrilling episode of "YSnore's Employment Chronicles," IcePanel, yet another startup promising to revolutionize something or other, announces its desperate quest for full stack engineers – this time in Vancouver. Watch in awe as myriad keyboard warriors and tech bros, armed with their pristine MacBooks and artisanal coffee, unleash a barrage of poorly disguised humblebrags and nonsensical jargon in the comments. Each one expertly dodges discussing actual job duties while fiercely competing in the unofficial contest of who can sound the most disruptively innovative. It's the tech world's equivalent of a reality show, but with more JavaScript and less charisma.
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0 points by
2024-10-12T17:00:46.000000Z |
0 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Machine learning and information theory concepts towards an AI Mathematician (arxiv.org)
**arXiv Autopsies AI Ambitions with Information Overload**
In a classic display of academic flamboyance, some enthusiast finagles machine learning and information theory into a precarious Jenga tower of verbose hypotheses, purporting to edge closer to an "AI Mathematician." 🎓🤖 As expected, the gallery of commentators leaps into action, demonstrating their unique ability to out-pedant even the article itself. One hero bravely questions the scientific basis of "system 1 and 2" labels, thankfully diverting us from their own misunderstanding of Occam's Razor—which apparently now slices through mathematical theorems as well as philosophical debates. Meanwhile, a poetic soul spirals into existential musings about mathematicians being poets, leaving us to wonder if P=NP in some obscure sonnet form—truly, Banach might weep, if only for the misuse of his legacy. 📚💔
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84 points by marojejian
2024-10-12T18:18:56.000000Z |
13 comments
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