| 1. |
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▲ Sqlite3 WebAssembly (sqlite.org)
**Everyone's a Database Expert: SQLite's Adventures in WebAssembly Wonderland**
In a stunning display of modern web acrobatics, SQLite decides to dip its toes into the mind-boggling world of WebAssembly, promising an internet full of in-browser databases. Throngs of confounded commenters merrily skip down the rabbit hole, offering a dizzying mix of misunderstood tech buzzwords and overly ambitious data streaming dreams. Brace for enthusiasm about WAL logs and shared memory APIs from folks with a shaky grasp on using their browser's back button. The documentation patiently explains the basics, but true comprehension remains, much like dark mode on old browsers, an elusive fantasy. 🕶️💻
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363 points by whatever3
2024-10-15T17:45:27.000000Z |
113 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Show QN: Graphite, a Blender-inspired 2D procedural design Rust app (graphite.rs)
Title: Show HN: Another Day, Another Procedural Design Tool No One Asked For
The Hacker News crowd has been delighted yet again by “Graphite,” a new vector graphics tool inspired by Blender but for 2D design, because clearly what the world lacks is another niche design tool coded in Rust. Commenters trip over themselves to congratulate the developer and dream aloud about their own potential contributions, which they will likely never make due to being too busy commenting on Hacker News. Meanwhile, one solitary soul tries to decipher whether this tool is actually a Blender spinoff for 2D or just another complex way to avoid using Photoshop. Unsurprisingly, the roadmap is packed with features that might get finished "someday," and that day is definitely not today. 🖌️🔄💤
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101 points by Keavon
2024-10-15T22:32:06.000000Z |
22 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ The C23 edition of Modern C (gustedt.wordpress.com)
The C23 edition of Modern C is finally here, because what the world urgently needed was yet another iteration of a language that simply refuses to retire. Now you can delight in the introduction of _BitInt for when you absolutely, positively need to count every last bit manually because you're a masochist. Expect gleeful comments about how “C and C++ are different; please treat them like oil and water,” while seasoned programmers argue vehemently in the comment section about the joys of mixing the two, with classic retorts like "iostreams are garbage" versus "iostreams make integrating your own types so easy!" It's a tumultuous soap opera of opinions where everyone is keen to demonstrate their intricate knowledge of why their half-baked solutions are superior. 🍿
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313 points by bwidlar
2024-10-15T16:06:29.000000Z |
148 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Show QN: I built the most over-engineered Deal With It emoji generator (emoji.build)
**The Future Of "Deal With It" Is Here (And Over-Engineered)**
Hackernauts on Hacker News can barely contain their delight as someone unleashes possibly the **most over-engineered** "Deal With It" emoji generator into the wild. Brace yourselves, as AI once dreamt of powering Mars landings now dedicates its circuitry to placing sunglasses on smiley faces 🔥. In a series of barely understandable techno-babble, commentators pat each other on the back for recreating a memetic masterpiece using enough computing power to run a small country. If confusing overkill and AI overreach had a baby, it would definitely be wearing sunglasses. 😎
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565 points by klimeryk
2024-10-15T13:05:05.000000Z |
115 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ CapibaraZero: A cheap alternative to FlipperZero based on ESP32-S3 (capibarazero.github.io)
**CapibaraZero: The Poor Man's FlipperZero**
In a world where even the lowliest hobbyist craves a gadget loaded with an ESP32-S3, some anonymous genius decides to roll their own version and aptly names it CapibaraZero. Because who wouldn't want a device that vaguely resembles a tech-savvy rodent? Cue an endless thread of tech aficionados muddling through the legality of owning what might just be a glorified remote control. Does it hack? Does it spy? No worries—half the comments are from people who think owning this could land them in a high-security prison. Cheers to open source paranoia! 🎉
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87 points by andreock
2024-10-15T20:34:41.000000Z |
9 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Show QN: I 3D scanned the tunnels inside the Maya Pyramid Temples at Copan (mused.com)
**What Could Possibly Go Wrong With a Little Mercury?**
Today on Hacker News, an explorer brags about 3D scanning ancient Maya tunnels, because who needs archaeology degrees when you have *a cool gadget*? Commenters get side-tracked with a chem-laced history lesson, briefly turning into amateur toxicologists debating whether antique Mesoamerican leadership was the OG Mad Hatter Club. Meanwhile, a 3D artist laments bureaucratic hurdles in Pennsylvania, as if the hardest part about archaeology was convincing local governments to let drones buzz over historical dirt. Who knew that both mercury poisoning and drone permits could draw conspiracy theorists and tech bros out of hiding? 🤯👨💻
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218 points by lukehollis
2024-10-15T12:57:54.000000Z |
50 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Asterinas: OS kernel written in Rust and providing Linux-compatible ABI (github.com/asterinas)
**Hackernews Discovers Nerd Nirvana with Rusty Linux-Flavored Kernel Clone**
Hackernews commenters, engaging with their typical mix of casual hubris and misplaced nostalgia, tripped over each other to cautiously criticize yet subtly praise Asterinas—an OS kernel so revolutionary it might just bore Torvalds back to coding on his *original* 386 machine! Written in the holy grail of modern programming languages—Rust—this kernel promises memory safety, speed, and the comforting illusion of being as "good" as Linux. Despite dwarfing their coding skills, most "enthusiasts" commit only to installing Rust updates rather than understanding the truly love/hate relationship needed to embark on creating a new OS. Can't wait for the next overly ambitious, decades-long project kickoff, ideally by someone just as "clueless" as young Linus! 👨💻🚀
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158 points by Klasiaster
2024-10-15T12:01:59.000000Z |
63 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Web Browser Engineering (2021) (browser.engineering)
Web Browser Engineering: A Series of Impressive Sounding Words! 💻🚀 Join two ambitious authors as they unpack the wizardry of making a minimalist web browser using overkill Python coding that might run slower than your grandma's dial-up connection. Readers cheer as table layouts terrorize and CSS rules befuddle, turning simple webpage rendering into an act equivalent to deciphering ancient hieroglyphics. While one commenter marvels at integrating Servo's mystical code enigmas, another optimistically floats into the abyss of CSS specifications, clinging to the faint hope of comprehending web layout before the heat death of the universe. 🌎💥
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646 points by MrVandemar
2024-10-15T09:42:29.000000Z |
109 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ FreeBSD/EC2 boot performance over time (daemonology.net)
In today's thrilling episode on daemonology.net, tech enthusiasts revel in a high-octane discussion about FreeBSD's boot times on EC2, with gripping graphs lacking units and scaling consistency. Watch heroic commenters valiantly guess time units—seconds? minutes? microseconds?—until our protagonist politely enlightens them it was, indeed, obvious seconds. Meanwhile, a subplot emerges as another commenter hexcrawls through archived blog posts and tweets for a nugget of wisdom about boot performance improvements, only to discover the mystical realm of Patreon. In a daring twist, a request to compare FreeBSD to Linux is met with a promise to dig up past glories, exciting dozens of fans who can't wait to turn the thrilling page on this saga of ambiguous data presentation. 🕒💻🚀
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18 points by cperciva
2024-10-15T23:12:51.000000Z |
16 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Apple introduces iPad mini built for Apple Intelligence (apple.com)
**Apple Introduces Yet Another iPad Nobody Asked For**
In their endless wisdom, Apple has gifted the masses with the new iPad mini, now packed with the revolutionary A17 Pro chip and something they insist on calling Apple Intelligence, because apparently iPads weren’t smart enough. This latest iteration is hailed for its ultra-portable design (because you needed another two-inch-thick device that still won’t fit in your pocket) and comes in fun new colors to make sure you really feel the innovation. Commenters are predictably torn between salivating over unused AI features and griping about the $650 price tag for what essentially amounts to a very shiny YouTube streamer. Meanwhile, discussions devolve into a pseudo-technical analysis of bezels and battery life, because no issue is too small when avoiding the real question: why doesn’t it just fold already? 🙄
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172 points by diwank
2024-10-15T14:35:29.000000Z |
272 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Mothbox 4.0 (digital-naturalism-laboratories.github.i...)
Title: **Innovations in Insect Surveillance or Just a Tech-Infused Bug Zapper?**
Here we observe the birth of Mothbox 4.0, the latest in disruptive ecosystems that's less about Silicon Valley and more about actual, well, silicon-covered jungles. "Andy", a heroic figure emerging from the techno-bushes, unveils his Frankenstein’s creation: a bug box that not only captures insects but probably the hearts of open-source nerds everywhere. For only $375, you too can claim a corner of the rainforest or your backyard for a fraction of the cost of your average high-tech peeping tom gadgets. Dive into the comments to witness the touching saga of DIY entomologists armed with Raspberry Pis, who rather discuss the merits of dielectric grease over the existential doom looming over our insect populations. 🦋💻🌿
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168 points by bookofjoe
2024-10-15T14:10:58.000000Z |
22 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Show QN: Pumpkin – A Modern Minecraft server written in Rust (github.com/snowiiii)
**Pumpkin: Revolutionizing How Quickly Your Minecraft Server Can Fail in Rust**
The coding wizards at GitHub snowiiii have graced us with Pumpkin—a Minecraft server that’s as *unfinished* as your basement. With more emphasis on "coming soon" features than a movie trailer, this modern marvel promises to turbo-charge your gameplay right after it figures out minor details... like generating the world and placing blocks. Meanwhile, the comment section transforms into a tech support forum where enthusiasts marvel at benchmarks irrelevant to actual gameplay and share hot tips on making servers run on calculators and potatoes. Can't wait for the update that makes it actually playable! 🎃💻🚧
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272 points by alex_medvedev
2024-10-15T09:18:16.000000Z |
114 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Why Don't We Use Awnings Anymore (thecraftsmanblog.com)
Why Don't We Use Awnings Anymore: Nostalgia Meets HVAC
In a devastating display of historical ignorance, a blogger ponders the mysterious disappearance of awnings from modern architecture, ignoring the fact that most people swapped them for the heavenly bliss of air conditioning. Commenters dive into a nostalgia-fueled rampage, reminiscing on the golden age of passive cooling, while heralding their own makeshift home improvements as the pinnacle of climate control innovation. Meanwhile, techno-buffs chime in with a rudimentary physics lesson, trying to explain why stuffing your walls with argon is trendy but not a historical norm. Revel in the confusion, folks—sometimes the past isn't just a place of better awnings, but also of thicker walls. 🙄
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36 points by samclemens
2024-10-15T22:11:35.000000Z |
22 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Beyond Dune: Accelerating with EVM Query Language (eql.sh)
Title: Blockchain Babble: SQL for the Cool Kids
Summary: "Beyond Dune: I Can Haz Blockchain Queries?" -- because why not jump on the next convoluted tech trend when you're already miles deep? Here's to EQL, the latest alphabet soup designed to flummox your average SQL jockey into feeling like a hack. Commenters predictably drool over its 🚀 speed and simplicity, because typing less to do more is how we judge tech these days, right? Everyone's excited to 'mess around' with it, probably while patting themselves on the back for finally memorizing what EVM stands for.
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16 points by iankguimaraes
2024-10-15T21:45:32.000000Z |
2 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Forscape – A Language and Editor for Scientific Computation (github.com/johndtill)
Welcome to another episode of Hobbyist Programming Theater, where John D. Till revolutionizes the arduous task of scientific computing with "Forscape"— a new language that thinks your matrices are as important as your morning coffee ☕. In this corner of GitHub, where feedback is "seriously" considered, users can now render mathematical marvels that resemble their cherished homework. Commenters jump in with a mix of nostalgia for forgotten languages and a desperate longing for typographic beauty in their code blocks, because clearly, evocative subscripts equal groundbreaking programming. One brave soul questions the project's utility over existing tools leading to a fiery debate about the true purpose of Forscape, which everyone agrees, is definitely not for document writing. 🚀👩🔬
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56 points by faresahmed
2024-10-15T10:14:41.000000Z |
11 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ All possible plots by major authors (2020) (the-fence.com)
**All possible plots by major authors (2020) (the-fence.com)**
Today on the internet: an article that proves if you give a million monkeys typewriters, one will eventually write the plot of a bestseller, or something vaguely resembling the **source code** of Linux. In the comments, armchair developers relive their glory days, fantasizing about being mentioned in the same breath as Grace Hopper and Linus Torvalds. One brave soul tries to make a **Javascript** joke and is immediately punished by an audience who remembers what promises are worth. Meanwhile, another commenter throws a pulp fiction recipe into the mix, confusing everyone who thought "pickle" was just a Python library. 🙄💻📚
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131 points by ohjeez
2024-10-15T19:06:43.000000Z |
92 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Show QN: A Markdown-based alternative to package.json scripts and makefiles (github.com/tzador)
Title: Hacker News Presents: A New Way To Over-Engineer Your Scripts with Markdown!
Another day, another Github repository aiming to revolutionize how we (don't) really need to handle scripting. Meet makedown.sh, a tool that rides the inexplicable wave of turning everything into markdown, because clearly what the world lacks is more convoluted ways to execute a simple 'npm start'. Comments range from offering trifling name changes to enthusiastic programmers reinventing wheels that not even Rust can save. By the end of the thread, everyone agrees on one thing: renaming a project is definitely more important than the project's utility. 🤡📄🚀
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41 points by timz
2024-10-13T05:15:31.000000Z |
16 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Australian coal plant in 'extraordinary' survival experiment (abc.net.au)
AGL, a towering paragon of environmental ambiguity, has startled the world by turning off a coal unit and then—hold your gasps—turning it back on *five whole hours later*. The internet is abuzz with technocrats and environmental gurus hailing this as an "extraordinary experiment," as if flicking a light switch off and on were akin to splitting the atom. Commenters, ensconced in their armchairs, passionately debate the merits of nuclear power and coal's lifespan like they're unraveling the secrets of cold fusion, blissfully oblivious to the festering reality that we're still just setting stuff on fire to keep the lights on. Meanwhile, utilities play their age-old sleight-of-hand, greening their image while the coal quietly burns elsewhere—innovation or deception? You decide. 🌍🔥
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27 points by h0l0cube
2024-10-13T21:37:45.000000Z |
21 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Life expectancy rise in rich countries slows down: took 30 years to prove (nature.com)
In the thrilling world of "nobody lives forever," a breaking study trudges through three decades worth of dust to tell us that rich folks might not be immortal after all. 🙄 Nature.com painstakingly breaks this news with all the urgency of a snail on sedatives, while their ye olde Internet Explorer users squint through CSS-less content to glimpse their bleak, centennial-free future. Meanwhile, the comment section becomes a tragicomic soapbox where diet pills are held aloft as the holy grail against the unstoppable force of aging, and someone inevitably confuses the issue by questioning if amphetamines are back in vogue for weight loss. Because, of course, a quick fix in a pill is surely the fountain of youth we've overlooked! 🤦
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98 points by andsoitis
2024-10-15T13:39:08.000000Z |
182 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Zep AI (YC W24) Is Hiring AI Engineers and Dev Advocates (ycombinator.com)
Zep AI, yet another daring runner in the ceaseless Y Combinator conga line, is on the prowl for AI Engineers and Dev Advocates to refine its revolutionary act of automating what five interns on a Google Sheet could do. Hopeful tech mavens flock to the comments, tripping over themselves to worship at the altar of "disruption" and "innovation," while quietly updating their own resumes in hope of escaping their current cubicle crypts. It's Silicon Valley's circle of life, now with more machine learning buzzwords to sprinkle on your LinkedIn profiles and zero added substance. 🎉💾🤖
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0 points by
2024-10-15T18:16:52.000000Z |
0 comments
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