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▲ AI PCs Aren't Good at AI: The CPU Beats the NPU (github.com/usefulsensors)
**AI PCs Aren't Good at AI: The CPU Beats the NPU**
In an astonishing feat of underachievement, a new article on GitHub reveals a woeful gap between marketing dreams and harsh reality, as Qualcomm’s AI PC NPU performs at a pathetic 1.3% of its advertised prowess. The developer community, in their infinite wisdom, showers us with insights that oscillate between pointing out the obvious and regurgitating AI buzzword bingo. One commenter brilliantly states that the NPU is not for speed but for low power, forever confusing purpose with performance, while another dives into a Silicon Valley conspiracy theory that the NPU is mainly a jazzed-up marketing gimmick to compete with NVIDIA and Apple. Meanwhile, several participants in the comments section embark on a nostalgic trip down memory lane, debating who slapped an NPU onto an SoC first, capturing perfectly the essence of missing the point. 💡🤖
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224 points by dbreunig
2024-10-16T19:44:02.000000Z |
121 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Amazon reveals first color Kindle, new Kindle Scribe, and more (aboutamazon.com)
In a revolutionary display of mediocrity, Amazon unveils its first color Kindle, proving that it can indeed keep up with technology from a decade ago. What's better than overpaying for a device that respects your ownership rights as much as a kleptomaniac in a cash-only flea market? Join the literary elite in the comments section, where survivors of unwanted book purges share their harrowing journey from Kindle to Kobo, as they reminisce about the "good old days" when side-loading a book didn't trigger an existential crisis. Whether it's disabling updates, juggling incompatible file formats, or just trying to make their device remember not to erase their entire library—our tech-savvy bibliophiles never fail to entertain with their techno-thrillers more convoluted than any plot they could hope to download. 😂📚👏
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116 points by bookofjoe
2024-10-16T13:52:55.000000Z |
223 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ A solar gravitational lens will be humanity's most powerful telescope (2022) (phys.org)
In a daring escape from reality, humanity plans to use the sun as a massive cosmic magnifying glass to spy on distant exoplanets, because apparently, building telescopes the size of a small country is just too mainstream. Phys.org publishes yet another article that will surely twist the knickers of the hobbyist physicist community into quantum knots over "solar gravitational lensing." Commenters, in a spectacular display of missing the point, dive into a nerdfight over the feasibility of space-based interferometry with atomic clock precision. One could argue the practicality, but why bother when you can argue theoretical physics in the comment section of an article few truly understand? 🤯
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65 points by amichail
2024-10-15T11:52:48.000000Z |
24 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Hofstadter on Lisp (1983) (gist.github.com)
**Hofstadter on Lisp (1983) (gist.github.com)**
In a world where programming nostalgia is apparently at premium, one brave soul "somewhat illegally" rescues a Douglas Hofstadter piece on Lisp from the dusty shelves of the 1980s and bravely pastes it onto GitHub. Comments quickly spiral into a pedantic quagmire, where Lisp enthusiasts tripping over their 'ovals' and 'snocs' seek to decode typos like medieval scholars deciphering lost scriptures. Meanwhile, other commenters wax poetic about Lisp's crispy syntax that evidently marries coding with abstract mathematics, a revelation sure to cure insomnia across the globe. A cameo by Haskell pleads for relevance in a corner. 🧙✨💾
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295 points by Eric_WVGG
2024-10-16T13:44:37.000000Z |
117 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ We outsmarted CSGO cheaters with IdentityLogger (mobeigi.com)
**The Internet Tackles Cheaters, or at Least Pretends To**
In a groundbreaking display of cyber-detective prowess that would make Sherlock Holmes roll his eyes, the immensely self-satisfied tech mavens of the internet have assembled on mobeigi.com to take on CSGO cheaters. With strategies reminiscent of a paranoid tech-support guide, commenters toss around acronyms like GUIDs, VPNs, and IP bans with the gusto of a squirrel on espresso. One even suggests scanning system folders, because nothing screams "user-friendly gaming experience" like letting a random server rummage through your files. Meanwhile, another commenter, probably petting their Mr. Robot poster, whispers sweet nothings about network analysis and proxy wars, seemingly unaware that the article's topic was gaming, not cyber warfare.
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134 points by mobeigi
2024-10-16T18:18:07.000000Z |
159 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Show QN: Clean News - A cleaner curation of world news events (cleannews.fyi)
Welcome to Clean News, where the future of journalism is apparently a regurgitated Wikipedia feed with fancy tags. Today's culinary delight on Hacker News features a single seasoning of "world politics" with a tantalizing hint of Victoria's Secret. Our genius commenters excitedly debate invisible technologies and eagerly out themselves as people who think "adding tags" is a groundbreaking feature. Meanwhile, fearless defenders of the Creative Commons calmly remind a budding "innovator" to maybe, just possibly, credit the source he's scraping. Because, you know, ethics. 🙄
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13 points by sumeruchat
2024-10-16T23:31:32.000000Z |
18 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Show QN: Automated smooth Nth order derivatives of noisy data (github.com/hugohadfield)
Title: Show HN: I reinvented noise reduction, but with more steps
A GitHub warrior has just unleashed "kalmangrad," an astonishing Python package that miraculously computes N'th order derivatives from data as noisy as Hacker News comment sections. Claiming to transcend mere mortal techniques like old school numerical differentiation, this approach brings in the heavy artillery from Bayesian filtering because, clearly, that's what every hobbyist data punter has been impatiently waiting for. Commenters erupted in joy, dusting off their calculus textbooks—or pretending to while frantically Googling Kalman filters—to craft replies that blend vague understanding and awe. Meanwhile, a brave wanderer inquires about real-world applications, perhaps not realizing that their Rusty mathematics will get no mercy here. 🚀🤓
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56 points by hugohadfield
2024-10-16T20:17:46.000000Z |
12 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Should We Chat, Too? Security Analysis of WeChat's Mmtls Encryption Protocol (citizenlab.ca)
Title: Should We Chat, Too? Security Analysis of WeChat's Mmtls Encryption Protocol
In an unfathomable twist, Citizen Lab manages to blow the lid off the unknown: WeChat's encryption might as well be a paper door in a hurricane. Commenters eagerly play top trumps with paranoia anecdotes – ranging from authoritarian bans for password creativity to cryptographic facepalms about why bother encrypting when Big Brother has the master keys. Meanwhile, tedious technical tangents about IVs and padding oracles make everyone briefly consider a career in literally anything else. So keep chatting on WeChat, safe in the knowledge that it’s secure as a sieve and just as transparent to those who built the sieve! 🕵️♂️💬🚪
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90 points by lladnar
2024-10-16T20:06:58.000000Z |
41 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ FTC announces "click-to-cancel" rule making it easier to cancel subscriptions (ftc.gov)
**FTC Revolutionizes Subscription Cancellations, Web Users Skeptical**
In a stunning display of common sense rarely seen from governmental entities, the FTC champions the heroic "click-to-cancel" rule, poised to rescue the average Joe from the labyrinthine tactics of subscription models—the kind where escaping charges often involves solving the Riddle of the Sphinx. Web commenters erupt into a frenzy of applause, each sharing war stories of email battles fought bravely against university alumni associations and underhanded e-commerce operations. Meanwhile, others school the comment section on the elite art of marking emails as spam as if performing an exorcism on their inbox. Who knew clicking 'unsubscribe' could feel so rebelliously gratifying? 🤔💬🚫
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1200 points by pseudolus
2024-10-16T13:09:04.000000Z |
562 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ ArchiveBox is evolving: the future of self-hosted internet archives (sweeting.me)
**ArchiveBox Is Evolving, But Can It Keep Up With Its Own Ambition?**
The venerable tool for hoarding internet scraps, ArchiveBox, gets a *passionate* critique from a self-identified tech savior on sweeting.me. Apparently, our lone warrior developer is drowning under the weight of user needs and the solution is—wait for it—more *money* and *people*. Hold your applause, though, there's a treasury twist—a secret stash of enhanced features locked behind a paywall, because nothing spells 'community' like a VIP lounge! Meanwhile, the commenters juggle between patting backs and subtly auditioning for tech messiah roles, because who needs titles when you're the self-proclaimed anarchist/libertarian savior of the digital archives. 😂📜💾
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443 points by nikisweeting
2024-10-16T16:18:39.000000Z |
104 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Traveling with Apple Vision Pro (azadux.blog)
### Traveling with Apple Vision Pro: A Game-Changer or Just Another Gadget?
The digital nomads are restless yet again, buzzing about the latest in eye-wear gadgetry, the Apple Vision Pro. According to a diehard fan's blog, this Zeus of gadgets ensures you can "tune out" from the nightmare of public travel and immerse into a personal cinematic experience — all while the peasants around you bask in the aura of your tech halo. 💻✈️ Meanwhile, in the comment trenches, digital wanderers passionately compare their travel hacks, from vintage methods like downing gin tonics to futuristic eyewear that promises to revolutionize boredom. One deeply philosophical debate unravels whether it's more Zen to stare into the abyss of flight anxiety or chemically induce oblivion via benzos. As the line between real travel woes and virtual escapism blur, who needs actual destinations anymore? 🌎😴
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327 points by tosh
2024-10-16T13:48:51.000000Z |
424 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Ichigo: Local real-time voice AI (github.com/homebrewltd)
Ichigo: The Future of Forgetting Even More Basic Things
The tech savants at Homebrew Ltd have unleashed their latest Frankencreation, Ichigo, upon the GitHub masses, promising a Siri-like experience without the polished veneer of corporate development. Shrouded in the soothing buzzwords of "open research" and "early fusion technique," this digital strawberry 🍓 is set to revolutionize how we don’t listen to each other. The comment section, a delightful cesspool of anime references and misplaced keys, buzzes with half-baked excitement that only a true open-source mess can elicit. Watch in awe as the digital horizon expands to include more untranscribed requests and forgotten personal items! 🎉
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68 points by egnehots
2024-10-14T17:25:50.000000Z |
9 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Jank development update – Moving to LLVM IR (jank-lang.org)
**Jank Development Update: The Soliloquy of a Coding Hipster**
Another day, another techie decides to quit the corporate hamster wheel to evangelize about their pet project, *jank*, the latest entrant in the increasingly obscure language Olympics. From part-time to no-time at EA, our hero boldly spills details about their shindig at the “Heart of Clojure” - because what's more riveting than detailing exception handling in a language only its creator might love? Comment sections across the digital cosmos are now pulsating with the usual cocktail of empty cheers and fuzzy good lucks. No solid funding yet, but hey, optimism can surely pay the bills, right? 🙃
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72 points by refset
2024-10-15T06:50:51.000000Z |
3 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Reflex (YC W23) Hiring Senior/Staff Engineer – Infrastructure (ycombinator.com)
At Reflex (a name that believably encapsulates the spontaneous, unthinking reactions its engineering choices inspire), the desperate cries for talent resound like an echo chamber where innovation ostensibly happens. Zero details about the job kinda scream trust issues, but hey, YC-backed startup glitter makes everything sparkle. Commenters, blissfully oscillating between pedantic nitpicks and glorified tech evangelism, leap at the opportunity to flaunt their esoteric jargon while simultaneously missing the point. Is it a job description? A cult initiation? Who knows, but surely *something* awesome, 'cause YC. Right? 🙄
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0 points by
2024-10-16T21:17:35.000000Z |
0 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Cell-Based Architecture Enhances Modern Distributed Systems (infoq.com)
In the latest episode of *Making Complicated Things Sound More Complicated*, InfoQ strikes again with "Cell-Based Architecture Enhances Modern Distributed Systems". Aspiring architects and confused IT interns alike gather to bask in the jargon-laden glory, mistaking complexity for profundity. 🤓 Meanwhile, in the comments, IT crusaders argue fiercely over whether the article is groundbreaking or just another rehash of their first-year computer science textbook. The consensus remains elusive, but everyone agrees the diagrams are pretty cool.
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16 points by gemanor
2024-10-15T05:30:09.000000Z |
0 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Ask QN: How do you add guard rails in LLM response without breaking streaming?
**Hackers Ask for Stream-guard Train Wrecks**
In a groundbreaking display of overengineering, a thread emerges on Hacker News filled with the brightest tech luminaries solving a non-problem: how to baby-proof real-time streaming responses from a large language model. What problem are we bulldozing today? A user unwisely wants to slap a half-baked validation step in front of streaming content generation, sparking an orgy of replies each more "here's-a-solution-looking-for-a-problem" than the last. Between pitching Databricks as some sort of panacea and suggesting regex filters as if it’s still 1975, the responses blend into an indistinguishable symphony of techno-babble and wishful selling. Meanwhile, another commenter is just trying to make sure their sad string of JSON doesn’t break - because what’s more important than string formatting in the quest for artificial intelligence? 😂
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15 points by curious-tech-12
2024-10-15T05:35:30.000000Z |
9 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Optimizing the Ion compiler back end (spidermonkey.dev)
**Crashing Through the Web: A Memory-Heavy Tale at Mozilla**
In an exhilarating twist that absolutely no one asked for, the wizards at Mozilla have finally realized their browser devours RAM like a digital black hole. Cue heroic efforts to optimize their Ion compiler back end after someone figured out the ONNX Runtime was bogged down by yesterday’s garbage collection strategies. Meanwhile, in the comment section, a nostalgic former intern reminds everyone he once touched the code—because apparently, it's bring-your-old-trophies-to-the-Internet day. 🏆🙄 Amid back-pats and obscure algorithm nostalgia, everyone else just wants to know why their browser tabs keep crashing during their hourly meme-scrolling sessions.
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102 points by undercut
2024-10-16T17:15:24.000000Z |
25 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Show QN: Greenmask 0.2 – Database anonymization tool (github.com/greenmaskio)
Welcome to another episode of HackerNews theater, where the star of the hour is 🌟 **Greenmask 0.2** 🌟, a magical incantation for PostgreSQL that promises to anonymize your data without so much as a schema twitch. Ideal for those daring enough to clone a repository based on the all-powerful command of reading documentation. Comments, as expected, range from tech evangelists touting their "before and after" tool tales, to battle-scarred devs seeking refuge from the tyranny of data leakage, all while casually citing every other anonymization tool they've ever encountered. Watch in awe as they expertly debate nuances you never knew existed, all in the quest for the holy grail of data security – or at least something that won’t crumble during the next demo.
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31 points by woyten
2024-10-16T20:37:46.000000Z |
3 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Efficient high-resolution image synthesis with linear diffusion transformer (nvlabs.github.io)
In an unprecedented fusion of jargon and digital wizardry, a team from NVIDIA and some other schools you've heard of introduce "Sana," an AI that apparently can conjure hyper-detailed digital wallpaper in seconds. Commenters, half of whom may someday find this blog on their quest to back-engineer a high school science project, are agog with anticipatory delight. Little do they know, the promise of playing with Sana is as intangible as the "Coming Soon" code release. Meanwhile, debates rage about whether the images are cherry-picked – a term still astonishingly taken as a revelation in the age of Instagram perfection.
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139 points by Vt71fcAqt7
2024-10-16T14:56:22.000000Z |
23 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Reflections on Palantir (nabeelqu.substack.com)
Exploring the Dark Arts of Data with Palantir
In the latest theatrical performance disguised as professional reflection, Nabeel at Substack decides to wax philosophical about Palantir, oozing praises for what essentially amounts to glorifying a sophisticated data-mining overlord. As expected, the commentators embark on a confused journey, oscillating between awe and skepticism, as they try to decode the spell Palantir casts over big data. From ex-interns reminiscing about their mystifying data sorcery summers to puzzled bystanders questioning the company’s actual offerings, everyone seems tangled in a narrative that’s part Ghostbusters, part Enron. Amidst the crossfire of techno-babble and cynical nods to the NSA's lesser-known cousin, it is clear: knowing too little about Palantir is just as good as knowing too much.
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182 points by freditup
2024-10-16T02:18:29.000000Z |
188 comments
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