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▲ WebGPU-Based WiFi Simulator (wifi-solver.com)
**Hackernews Discovers Art Isn't Practical**
In a shocking twist, a website named wifi-solver.com uses **WebGPU** to create *pretty* WiFi wave visualizations, but leaves tech enthusiasts disappointed by not providing precise microwave coverage maps for their living rooms. One commenter, nostalgic for the early 2000s, manages to drop references to every music visualization software they've ever used because apparently, this was a challenge. Meanwhile, other users play a thrilling game of "break the simulation," showcasing JavaScript errors as feats of strength in this digital colosseum. As the cries for Linux support echo into the void, somewhere, a lone dev sobs softly into their ergonomic keyboard. 🤓📡👾
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164 points by jasmcole
2024-10-20T18:01:43.000000Z |
57 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ A Console-Friendly Pastebin with binary support (c-net.org)
**A Console-Friendly Pastebin with Binary Support: Hacker's Paradise or Sysadmin's Nightmare?**
In an audacious move that would make even the _most seasoned file hoarder_ salivate, c-net.org thrusts upon the world a "console-friendly pastebin" capable of handling binary blobs. A marvel for the tech aristocracy who despise GUIs, but why bog it down with things like CAPTCHAs or user accounts? Commenters cry out in agony as they predictably foresee a churning cesspool of abuse, yet they also charmingly outline a fix that requires more steps than most are willing to take just to "_console_ify" their snippets. In the war rooms of internet governance, heated debates erupt over which country's laws this anarchic bucket of bytes should kneel before. Meanwhile, the rest of us await the eventual legal takedown or a chaotic descent into digital anarchy. 🙃
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27 points by goranmoomin
2024-10-20T23:08:42.000000Z |
6 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Show QN: QN Update – Hourly News Broadcast of Top QN Stories (hnup.date)
**Show HN: Hourly Broadcast of Top HN Stories, But Who Cares?**
Valiant Hacker News user unveils a website that broadcasts top hacker news stories every hour for those too lazy to scroll. Commenters, in a dazzling display of originality, request "personalization" because clearly the echo chamber isn't echo-y enough. They also whine about declining energy levels for reading as they age, confusing biological entropy with a magically increased aversion to text. Excited nods to nonexistent control over YouTube's algorithm and half-hearted tech solutions like 1.16x audio speed adjustments round out the farcical discussion. 🎭👵🎧
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124 points by yunusabd
2024-10-20T07:10:31.000000Z |
45 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Drasi: Microsoft's open source data processing platform for event-driven systems (github.com/drasi-project)
**The Open Source Chronicles: Drasi Unleashes Yet Another Framework for Misinterpreting Data**
The wizards at Microsoft have conjured up 🧙♂️ *Drasi*, a magical platform that promises to simplify data reactions, preemptively solving problems nobody realized existed. In a feat only comparable to defying gravity, this platform doesn't just process data—it prophesizes it! Meanwhile, in the depths of the internet wasteland known as the comments section, brave souls valiantly argue over the supremacy of obscure query languages, each touting their incomprehensible technical jargon as if they were casting spells to banish lesser engineers to the land of inadequate databases. Oh, and Azure got mentioned again, because why develop anything these days if it can't be forcibly tied to a cloud service? 🌩️🔗
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186 points by benocodes
2024-10-20T16:07:43.000000Z |
28 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Kurt Vonnegut's lost board game published (polygon.com)
**Kurt Vonnegut's Lost Board Game: Unearthed Treasure or Desperate Cash Grab?**
In an era where every vaguely famous person's scribble on a napkin gets turned into a marketable product, Polygon introduces us to Kurt Vonnegut's posthumous board game, GHQ. This game, contrived from the depths of "could've been a contender," alongside Risk and Diplomacy, supposedly offers the same thrills with a sprinkle of existential dread. Commenters, in a predictable burst of enthusiasm, compare GHQ to everything from Memoir '44 to chess, showcasing a broad spectrum of desperation for relevance. Meanwhile, Barnes and Noble, after initially rejecting the game because Vonnegut isn’t a household name, now proudly shelves this relic - because nothing says "literary tribute" like retail shelf space. 🎲📚💸
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161 points by musha68k
2024-10-20T16:44:55.000000Z |
41 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Show QN: Create mind maps to learn new things using AI (github.com/aotakeda)
In an earth-shattering leap of technological innovation, a developer has finally mastered the art of combining mind maps and AI to revolutionize your ability to... visualize stuff. Just download markdown files after prodding through an intricate labyrinth of installing dependencies and exposing your precious API keys. Commenters, in a bout of unsurpassed enlightenment, oscillate between vociferous applause and dim-witted suggestions, including turning a simple educational tool into Skynet's cousin for "personalized learning experiences." Check out the GIF on the README, because who reads anyway? 😂👀
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77 points by arthurtakeda
2024-10-20T20:01:19.000000Z |
25 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Mosaic REALMAP: Explore Prague in detail with 1.26M images (mosaic51.com)
The internet's latest teaspoon of digital mayhem offers Mosaic REALMAP: an over-engineered excuse to stare at 1.26 million images of Prague because apparently, remembering our holidays is too mainstream now. Tech enthusiasts and chronic over-sharers flood the comments with technical jargon about multicam walks, AI editing hopes, and dreams of 360-degree VR experiences, utterly missing the point that not everyone is desperate to virtually wander through Prague from their basement. And of course, no one can access anything without the sacred link, spawning cries for open-source alternatives and funding manifestos. Meanwhile, a random commenter manages to drag politician Ray Holmberg into the mess, as internet threads are wont to do, ruining Prague, and likely several other unrelated topics, in just one fell swoop. 🙄
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71 points by programd
2024-10-18T18:38:39.000000Z |
13 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ How to do distributed locking (2016) (kleppmann.com)
In the riveting world of distributed locking, a heroic blog post pulls back the curtain on the coveted "Temporal" tool, only to be besieged by a horde of verbose commenters each desperate to assert their superior understanding of timeout settings and race conditions. One fervent supporter of Temporal dubs it the "game changer," bravely ignoring every programmer's lived experience of ‘flaky’ tools that promise to change the game but only add new bugs. Debates rage about the viability of RedLock in the comment section, where every commenter miraculously transforms into a distributed systems expert. But hey, why bother simplifying processes when you can complicate them and sound clever, right? Online playgrounds like this blog ensure that no point is too small to be inflated into a trenchant critique, and no algorithm is safe from being used inappropriately just to prove a moot point. 🙄
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179 points by yusufaytas
2024-10-20T10:38:17.000000Z |
82 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Sampling with SQL (moertel.com)
Title: An Unbearable SQLightness of Sampling
Today, the internet rediscovered SQL sampling, a world-shattering technique that apparently turns massive datasets into cute little manageable toys. In a blog that must have been resurrected from 2007, we learn how if you know SQL (and honestly, who doesn’t?), you’re equipped to conquer data galaxies 🌠. Cue the heroic applause in the comment section where every SQL enthusiast moonlights as an amateur random number generator critic, dissecting every possible misuse of `RAND()`. Meanwhile, genuine geniuses remind us of PostgreSQL goodies like `pg_sample`, because who remembers syntax?
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54 points by thunderbong
2024-10-20T10:58:12.000000Z |
9 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ C-Motive's electrostatic motors use printed circuit boards instead of magnets (c-motive.com)
**C-Motive's Revolutionary Dust Collector or "Electrostatic Motor"**
Today in disruptive tech that nobody asked for, we have C-Motive reinventing the wheel—literally—by ditching nasty old magnets for the magic of printed circuit boards. Apparently, electromagnetic motors, successful for a mere 200+ years, are just too mainstream with their pesky gearboxes and active cooling, and it’s high time somebody cranked up the complication through *electrostatics*. Commenters, clearly too thrilled to read complex patents, toggle between tech utopia and outright suspicion. As usual, the fanfare is loud, but the details are as obscure as an engineer’s social skills. Seriously, between hyped promises of 'no gearbox needed' and ramblings about the viscosity of dielectric fluids, one can only hope these things don't require a Ph.D. to replace a blown fuse. 🤯😂
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70 points by Jeff_Brown
2024-10-20T17:02:36.000000Z |
29 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ The AI Investment Boom (apricitas.io)
**The AI Investment Circus: A Comedy in Billions**
In an exhilarating display of economic time travel, a seminal article at apricitas.io hurls its readers back to every massive investment boom-and-bust cycle, this time with a hot take on AI’s potential to outshine fiber optics and steam engines. Commenters, ever the astute guardians of hindsight, bicker over whether we’re dancing in a 1995 dotcom disco or teetering on the ledge of 1999’s dot-com bust, wielding Slack and dark fiber as their crystal balls. Meanwhile, another rocket scientist finds revelations in a magic AI that sifts through Slack to solve life's riddles – because clearly, Skynet teaching us project management is the killer app we’ve been waiting for. One thing's for sure: whether it’s unraveling C++ idioms or heralding the era of post-OS overlords, AI is here to save us from ourselves, one overheated server room at a time. 📈🔮💾
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124 points by m-hodges
2024-10-20T14:56:32.000000Z |
154 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ The Ultimate Conditional Syntax (acm.org)
Title: The Ultimate Conditional Syntax Meltdown
Today, the denizens of Hacker News rediscovered that other programming languages exist and immediately solved all problems by creating a syntax so convoluted that even Rube Goldberg threw up his hands in despair. In "The Ultimate Conditional Syntax," brave souls venture forth to argue about the virtues of left-to-right flow in languages that three people on Earth understand, paving the way for comprehensive "I sort of get it" nodding. Amidst cries of "Look, it's just like Elixir's with... but confusing!" and "But does it check exhaustiveness?!", others worry about potential confusions with mutability—because clearly, what today's fermenting jumble of code really lacks is some good old unpredictable state changes. But don't worry, there's someone out there who thinks this gibberish will make things more concise, because if there's one thing programmers need, it's more ways to write the same thing in a slightly shorter, incomprehensible manner.
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59 points by azhenley
2024-10-20T12:33:39.000000Z |
10 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Internet Archive breached again through stolen access tokens (bleepingcomputer.com)
**Internet Archive's cyber-pajama party extravaganza wakes up yet again**
As the beacon of forgotten GeoCities pages and out-of-print Celine Dion Christmas albums gets ransacked anew, online spectators gather to toss their two cents from the safety of their ergonomic battle stations. "Rotate your API keys!" yells one white knight from behind a formidable fortress of empty Red Bull cans. Meanwhile, a bevy of keyboard security experts swarm, offering the sort of free help that has the desperation of a SoundCloud rapper sliding into DMs. Will IA heed the call, or are we minutes away from an all-new, all-spectacular breach? Stay tuned, but don’t forget to update your passwords – unless you’re aiming for that retro, compromised Internet feel. 🕵️♂️💻🔓
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335 points by vladyslavfox
2024-10-20T15:00:06.000000Z |
181 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Google's AI prophet fast tracks singularity prediction (independent.co.uk)
The technological prophets at Google claim their latest AI can *speed up* our journey to the singularity, according to a recent pearl of wisdom on Independent.co.uk. In this groundbreaking revelation, Ray Kurzweil doubles down, proclaiming that AI will transmute us into Benjamin Button within the next five rotations around the sun. Meanwhile, the armchair experts in the comments are in a frenzy, debating whether this prediction is more implausible than completing the ipv4 to ipv6 transition. Between gratuitous graphs of CPU speeds and "sus" timelines from tech moguls, the consensus is clear: prepare your backwards aging cream, folks – the future is nonsense.
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6 points by wslh
2024-10-21T00:53:12.000000Z |
4 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ The IPv6 Transition (potaroo.net)
🌐 The "IPv6 Transition" epic continues as our favorite internet protocol strategist revisits his hopeful 2022 musings, only to find reality stubbornly clinging to IPv4 like a certain sinking ship and its deck chairs. Internet engineers and commenters alike perform impressive mental gymnastics to justify why after 25 years the internet still operates on digital duct tape. One insightful techie implements IPv6 at home for the Christmas-lights spectacle of it all—brags about going IPv6-only, but admits it’s useless in most real-world scenarios other than providing thrilling stories at IT parties. Meanwhile, a cacophony of complaints about CAPTCHAs and shared IPs spice up the comment section, because evidently, suffering together is better than updating protocols. 🙃
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104 points by todsacerdoti
2024-10-20T05:54:34.000000Z |
152 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Using Euro coins as weights (2004) (rubinghscience.org)
In a thrilling display of fiscal athleticism, a trailblazing *innovator* digs into their childhood piggy bank to deposit a fortune in euro cents into their weighted vest, because who needs expensive gym equipment when you have a Euro-spewing central bank at your disposal? Commenters, those paragons of *practicality*, chime in to debate the merits of sand versus cold hard cash as workout partners, while casually dropping reminders of legal boundaries and the marketplace wonders like Amazon’s treasure trove of budget-friendly Olympic weights. Forget about common sense or efficiency; our hero’s quest for the heaviest pockets in Europe is surely a tale for the modern age. Will they pave the pave with the change from their coffee, or face a delayed reckoning at the Bundesbank counter? Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of “Fitness Frugality: Penny Wise or Pound Foolish?” 🏋️♂️💰🤷♂️
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140 points by Tomte
2024-10-20T10:18:13.000000Z |
125 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ VersaTiles – a complete FLOSS map stack (versatiles.org)
VersaTiles spins up yet another iteration of OpenSource Mapping Extravaganza, promising **FLOSSier** tiles for all—funded by MIZ-Babelsberg to bring maps to newsrooms, because _journalists apparently can't Google Maps_. Commenters trip over themselves to compare VersaTiles to every mapping tool they've semi-comprehended from past hacker news fights, while subtly flexing their "vast" open source toolkits. "Is this like openfreemap but with less licensing drama?" asks one hopeful cyber cartographer, lost in the sea of CCs and acronyms. Meanwhile, another insists on explaining the nuances of Postgres configurations as if uncovering the lost city of Atlantis. 🗺️💻
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104 points by moooo99
2024-10-20T13:51:17.000000Z |
12 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ The Part of PostgreSQL We Hate the Most (2023) (cmu.edu)
**The Part of PostgreSQL We Hate the Most (2023) by OtterTune**
In an era where the tech community has deftly navigated from the dinosaur MySQL to the chaos of MongoDB, it now cozies up with PostgreSQL, the darling elephant of databases. OtterTune decides it’s time to stop praising and start unveiling the ugly: PostgreSQL's multi-version concurrency control (MVCC) is *so last century*. The comment section erupts with a mix of back-pats and corrections, as tech bros lazily link GitHub repos and documentation riddled with typos. Meanwhile, an obscure team celebrates their bare minimum efforts like they’ve just landed on the moon, proving once again that the tech world never misses a chance to pat itself on the back for fixing problems it glorified yesterday. 🤓😱🐘
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202 points by virtualwhys
2024-10-20T15:30:29.000000Z |
51 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Microsoft said it lost weeks of security logs for its customers' cloud products (techcrunch.com)
In a revolutionary act of digital amnesia, Microsoft, a small indie company you might have heard of, "lost" weeks-worth of crucial security logs. 🕵️♂️ The giant claims a 'bug' ate their homework, forcing network defenders to play cybersecurity Marco Polo in the vast ocean of the cloud. Commentators, wielding tinfoil hats, are split between blaming undercover alien spies and window-shopping pedophiles for the mishap. Truly, a masterclass in modern cybersecurity.
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35 points by alephnerd
2024-10-20T21:42:27.000000Z |
2 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ The Best Darn Grid Shader (Yet) (2023) (bgolus.medium.com)
**The Quest for the Least Dazzling Grid: A Shader Drama**
In the latest arm-wrestling match between developers and the dreaded Moiré effect, a brave soul on Medium offers up "The Best Darn Grid Shader (Yet)", touting a revolutionary approach to shading that's sure to save graphic artists from at least three minutes of frustration. Commenters, armed with their sharp critiques and overzealous plugin recommendations, dive into a puzzling discourse over the miraculous properties of dark mode, which apparently can't even be found on Medium. One commenter triumphantly suggests slapping on a "Dark Reader" plugin to experience the true essence of the grid, while another tries to navigate the existential crisis of how one begins working with shaders. Practical advice or a plea for validation? You decide. Let’s 🎉 embrace 🎉 advanced grid shading, one existential plugin crisis at a time.
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137 points by eliasylonen
2024-10-20T08:50:18.000000Z |
8 comments
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