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▲ Math is still catching up to the genius of Ramanujan (quantamagazine.org)
**When Math Nerds Dance On Desks: The Ramanujan Catch-Up Game**
In an unparalleled display of editorial independence backed by the Simons Foundation, Quanta Magazine attempts to unravel the math world’s perpetual marathon to catch up to some dead guy named Ramanujan. One brave soul in Paris leaps onto a desk—because that's how mathematics is done now, apparently—in sheer euphoria upon discovering something about curve singularities, which are undoubtedly crucial for the ten people who care. The comment section is an adorable battleground of armchair educators philosophizing ✨deeply✨ about the failures of the modern educational system, refusing to accept that maybe, just maybe, not every neglected student is a hidden Ramanujan. One commenter dramatically uncovers their inner stand-up comedian, bemoaning lost years as a computer nerd when they could have been the new Robin Williams.
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83 points by philiplu
2024-10-21T23:19:00.000000Z |
36 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ First images from Euclid are in (esa.int)
Title: "Armchair Astronomers Unravel the Cosmos with New Euclid Snaps"
In a groundbreaking move by the European Space Agency, the first images from Euclid have been unveiled, inspiring a trove of Internet experts to unleash their hottest takes while barely glancing at the visuals. Comment sections are ablaze with zoom-hungry cosmologists, convinced that their keen mouse scrolling skills translate to groundbreaking scientific insight. One hopeful soul, trapped in existential despair and probably wearing tin foil, contemplates the vastness and all the feels it brings, while another hero correlates space travel to crushing ego—evidently unaware of the irony. Meanwhile, fence-sitters debate extraterrestrial life with the intellectual might of a Wikipedia summary, proving once again that when it comes to space, everyone's got theories, but nobody’s got a clue. 🚀🌌😂
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141 points by mooreds
2024-10-21T20:15:36.000000Z |
36 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ An amateur historian has discovered a long-lost short story by Bram Stoker (bbc.com)
In a thrilling display of amateur sleuthing rivaled only by children's mystery books, Brian Cleary uncovers a "lost" Bram Stoker story in an Irish library, presumably while everyone else was browsing Facebook. Cue the Stoker enthusiasts and armchair historians flooding GitHub with half-baked transcriptions and cries for help in OCR technology. One heroic commenter casually name-drops different transcription projects they've dabbled in, while others debate the virtues of LiveText API versus the enigmatic power of Tumblr transcription skills. Meanwhile, an actual reader of the story remains as mythical as Stoker's vampires. 🧛♂️💻📜
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218 points by lermontov
2024-10-21T16:14:31.000000Z |
87 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Show QN: Data Formulator – AI-powered data visualization from Microsoft Research (github.com/microsoft)
**Show HN: Microsoft Clippy's Cousin, Data Formulator**
In an unsurprising twist, Microsoft Research reinvents the graph-making wheel with "Data Formulator," an AI that translates desperate late-night data scrambling into colorful pie charts. With enthusiastic promises of **reading every bit of feedback**, the team assures users that yes, your midnight ramblings in the GitHub issues are *taken very seriously*. The HN crowd, ever thirsty for machine-mediated job security, alternates between hailing it as the second coming of Excel and doomsaying about their future career prospects as bar chart specialists. Next week, we expect a deep learning tool that auto-generates passive-aggressive comments to complete the transformation into truly automated project meetings.
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21 points by chenglong-hn
2024-10-21T19:42:15.000000Z |
0 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Overengineering a way to know if people are in my university's CS lab (amoses.dev)
**Title: Tech Wizards Rediscover Duct Tape and Dreams in a University Lab**
In an astonishing display of **overengineering**, a lonely CS student decides that the Universe needs a high-tech counter for the haunted ruins of their university lab. Armed with Python, a decrepit camera, and a spirit level that might as well be a divining rod, this brave soul constructs a Rube Goldberg machine to count humans—because, you know, asking them might break some ancient geek code. The commenters, reveling in their own nostalgia, trip over themselves to suggest enhancements like a Steve Ballmer *chant-o-matic*, because adding more noise will surely enhance academic focus. Meanwhile, another tragic soul fondly recalls a history of clunky NeXTstations as if they were first crushes, because nothing says "productive lab environment" like frostbite and sensory deprivation from engine-like whirrs. 😱🛠️💻
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115 points by nicosalm
2024-10-21T19:12:13.000000Z |
51 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Transitioning the Use of Cryptographic Algorithms and Key Lengths (nist.gov)
In a thrilling turn of government efficiency, the U.S. gears up to say bye bye to outdated crypto junk only decades after better options were available. The comment section sizzles with the hottest takes from self-proclaimed cryptographers, debating the ins and outs of quantum-flavored acronyms you definitely need a PhD to pretend to understand. A brave soul bemoans the daunting task of refactoring Triple AES, a mystical creature likely concocted in a fever dream. Meanwhile, others gossip about quantum breakthroughs like high-schoolers swapping rumors of who's going to prom with whom — because when it comes to government crypto advice, it's always prom night at the rumor mill. 🎉🔐
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34 points by nabla9
2024-10-21T22:34:07.000000Z |
16 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Thought experiments that fray the fabric of space-time (quantamagazine.org)
Quantum Magazine once again interrupts your casual internet browsing to hurl a thought experiment into the wild that has nerds typing furiously about the fine line between genius and "I read a pop-science book once". Commenters, armed with half-understood Wikipedia entries and a pressing need to demonstrate their superiority, delve into an intense debate about infinitely precise measurements, space granularity, and other topics that ensure no one will want to talk to them at parties. The chaotic back-and-forth includes everything from the Heisenberg uncertainty principle to Zeno’s paradoxes, creating a delightful showcase of the Dunning-Kruger effect in full bloom. Will they solve the mysteries of the universe? No, but they’ll definitely argue about it until everyone else stops listening.
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51 points by thcipriani
2024-10-21T21:08:22.000000Z |
52 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Show QN: Epublifier – scrape pages (books, manuals) for offline reading (github.com/maoserr)
Welcome to the future of piracy: Epublifier makes sure no page is left unturned—or unscraped—taking digital hoarding to scholarly levels. Hacker News enthusiasts, stuck in their perpetual DIY remake-the-wheel extravaganza, salivate over a tool that converts every ad-encrusted "10 Ways to Make Kale Chips" blog into pristine, offline e-books. They praise its "novel" GUI like it's the second coming of Clippy, glossing over minor details like legality or ethical use. Truly, a must-have for anyone keen to transform their e-reader into a digital landfill 💾📚.
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247 points by maoserr
2024-10-21T13:18:08.000000Z |
39 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Scalene: A high-performance, high-precision CPU, GPU, memory profiler for Python (github.com/plasma-umass)
The open-source landscape welcomes yet another "game-changing" tool, Scalene: a profiler that promises to spy on Python code faster and harder than ever before. The creators, in a herculean feat of hubris, declare it the first of its kind to bless code with AI-generated suggestions, because what could go wrong with AI-driven development practices, right? Meanwhile, the GitHub comment section morphs into a delightful wasteland where data scientists and backend developers share a collective delusion that faster profiling equates to better software. Let's slam that OpenAI key into our configs and hope the AI doesn't suggest we rewrite everything in JavaScript for peak performance. 🚀🐍💻
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32 points by kristianp
2024-10-21T21:07:15.000000Z |
0 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Mind Wandering: More than a Bad Habit (2018) [pdf] (ucsb.edu)
**HackerNews Presents: A Full Brain Buffet (That No One Asked For)**
In a stunning revelation from the University of Spreadsheet Psychology, we discover that *mind wandering* is more than your brain's version of twiddling its thumbs. The comment section becomes a battleground of armchair neuroscientists and meditation warriors, each boasting more anecdotal evidence than the last. One user declares the keto diet a neurological panacea, while another insists that feeling like Einstein does not, in fact, make you Einstein—shocking, we know. Watch as academic theory transforms into a kale smoothie of pseudo-explanation where everyone is just *really* into their own experience. 🧠💭
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43 points by yamrzou
2024-10-20T06:29:37.000000Z |
20 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Show QN: Floating point arithmetic types in C++ for any size and any base (github.com/clemensmanert)
Title: Hackernews Discovers New Library for Adding Excessive Complexity to Their Hobby Projects
Another catastrophic achievement in the coders’ endless war against intuitiveness: A Hacker crafts a floating-point arithmetic library in C++ that can handle number-crunching for any mantissa, exponent, or base, promising a native feel with an exotic flavor of unnecessary complexity. 🧐 Quick-to-comment HN aficionados skip reading docs and dive straight into comparisons with Boost.Multiprecision, while fiercely debating C++ standards and undefined behavior, displaying a profound dedication to misunderstanding both the article and each other. Meanwhile, a niche enthusiast reveals their impractical desire to emulate 1980s synthesizers using unwieldy number types, undoubtedly the crucial missing element for their DSP side project that nobody asked for. 😅 As usual, the practical utility of adding to the Tower of Babel that is modern software engineering is fiercely upheld by the article’s fans, ensuring continued job security for those fluent in template sorcery. 🎩✨
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60 points by seg_fault
2024-10-18T17:42:01.000000Z |
22 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ New discovery reveals how diatoms capture CO2 so effectively (unibas.ch)
**New discovery reveals how diatoms capture CO2 so effectively**
In a stunning reveal, scientists have discovered that tiny oceanic creatures called diatoms are more than just specks in the sea; they're mini CO2 hoovers. Not to leave a scientific stone unturned, the University of Basel has pinpointed a protein outfit these algae wear that's apparently crucial for their carbon-sucking superpower. The internet's armchair biologists and amateur engineers are buzzing with ideas: "Engineer a more efficient diatom and let it loose—what could possibly go wrong?" Meanwhile, real researchers might just be clutching their microscopes in horror, contemplating the bioethical pandemonium of unleashing Frankenstein's phytoplankton. Inspired and terrifying—in equal measure.
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28 points by lux
2024-10-21T19:11:46.000000Z |
3 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Please do not write below the line (bbctvlicence.com)
In a tragicomic tale of bureaucracy meets office memorabilia, a seeker of truth delves deep into the enigma of "Please do not write below the line" that TV Licensing has intriguingly scribed on their correspondence. Why, oh why, the fuss over a blank space? Commenters chime in with riveting sagas from yesteryears, showcasing their own acts of mild office rebellion and unintentional art installations due to what we can only assume is the powerful allure of ignored corporate directives. One enlightening discussion reveals that an ill-placed jacket might just be the keystone of the payroll universe, lest chaos ensues and everyone's bank accounts remain as empty as the forbidden line. 🧥🚫🖊️
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246 points by dcminter
2024-10-21T18:42:16.000000Z |
218 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ Egypt declared malaria-free after 100-year effort (bbc.com)
**Egypt Claims Victory Over Malaria: A Hilariously Historic Event**
In a world beset by actual problems, the World Health Organization has managed to find the time to pat Egypt on the back for no longer killing people with malaria, a feat apparently so challenging that it took nearly a century to mimic what DDT accomplished in a summer afternoon in the American South. The Internet's amateur epidemiologists, however, take this moment to prattle on about the wonders of "deep understanding" and the lifecycle of *Plasmodium*. Meanwhile, someone will inevitably donate to a charity in celebration, ignoring that a bit of swamp drainage might be just as effective. Experts in the comments section explain mosquito genetics while others marvel at technology that's already outdated. 🦟🎉
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492 points by thunderbong
2024-10-21T12:51:08.000000Z |
53 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ IOCCC Flight Simulator (2010) (aerojockey.com)
In a stunning display of technical prowess, a team of wizards from the International Obfuscated C Code Contest (IOCCC) presented the world with a flight simulator created from what appears to be the leftover bits of a 1980s calculator watch—yes, in less than 2KB of code 🤯. Mastering this simulator means guessing what combination of cryptic keyboard commands might keep your pixilated pipedream airborne, a feature apparently mistaken by commenters as a "realistic flight model." The bravest of souls, armed with nothing but nostalgia and a reckless disregard for modern software engineering, have since ported this relic to everything from JavaScript to ClojureScript, because why fly over Pittsburgh when you can crash into a poorly-rendered Amsterdam instead? Meanwhile, the community debates aircraft stability like they're redesigning the Boeing 737, blissfully unaware that their desktop toy's biggest threat isn't aerodynamics, but the next Windows update. 🛩️💥
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145 points by smig0
2024-10-21T12:24:32.000000Z |
22 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Software Engineering Body of Knowledge (SWEBOK) v4.0 is out [pdf] (computer.org)
**SWEBOK v4.0 Unleashes the Fury of Armchair Engineers**
In the latest attempt to corral the wild west of software engineering into a neatly paginated PDF, the heralded SWEBOK v4.0 drops, provoking the expected melange of outrage and sanctimonious diatribes in the comments. Across the digital plains, keyboard warriors mount their high horses, debating the age-old battle of credentialism vs. meritocracy, with the occasional detour into whether architects are really engineers or just fancy LEGO assemblers. Meanwhile, a brave soul wades into the fray with a "pro-stagnation argument," equating the predictable decay of America's infrastructure with the exciting potential of regulated software malaise. Who needs innovation when you’ve got a good old-fashioned bureaucracy to uphold? 🎓📜
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118 points by beryilma
2024-10-21T19:16:38.000000Z |
51 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Scientists working to decode birdsong (newyorker.com)
In a daring leap of scientific innovation, researchers in Austria spend their days playing DJ for geese, pumping out top hits from their feathered friend's simple phrasebook. One geese, with the rockstar name Bon Jovi, admittedly clears the low bar of recognizing its spouse's honk over a generic one, catapulting the discourse into "Eureka!" territory 🐦🎧. The commenters dive headfirst into this earnest scientific pantomime, debating whether our bird-brained compatriots are capable of pondering the abstract or just clever mimics in a pecking order. Spoiler: they're still geese. More at eleven on why your parakeet probably isn't a secret sapient. 😂👀
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135 points by tintinnabula
2024-10-21T03:22:08.000000Z |
120 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ Workaround Clang v15 AArch64 miscompile that affects parallel collection (github.com/cisco)
In yet another enthralling installment of "Obscure Compiler Behaviors and How to Avoid Real Work," a brave soul discovers that Clang v15 on macOS is the new Bermuda Triangle for code. They heroically slap together a workaround so that their patch is as temporary as their interest in explaining it clearly. Don't worry if you didn't follow, because neither did the commenters, who loop-de-loop through the logic with the dexterity of a drunk lizard on rollerskates 🦎.com. Trust that "it might be ok to just ignore the problem," but not the invitation to fork your mind debugging this chaos. 🔄
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56 points by gus_massa
2024-10-17T13:39:56.000000Z |
5 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Civet: A Superset of TypeScript (civet.dev)
**Civet: A New Programming Overlord or Just Old Coffee in a New Cup?**
In the ever-expanding universe of JavaScript and TypeScript, behold Civet: a "revolutionary" new language that promises you can code more and enjoy life less. Finally, a tool that lets you re-experience the headaches of JavaScript's past with a contemporary twist—like drinking expensive coffee that's passed through a cat. Commenters wax nostalgic over the ghost of CoffeeScript, debating if the new shiny thing is innovation or just another way to write the same old code. Meanwhile, one brave soul wonders if Civet will do more than just clutter GitHub repositories with its "revolutionary" syntax before inevitably joining CoffeeScript in the great caffeine crash of dead languages. 👻📉😿
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57 points by revskill
2024-10-19T06:02:42.000000Z |
44 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ ByteDance sacks intern for sabotaging AI project (bbc.com)
### **ByteDance Sends Intern Back to Kindergarten for AI Boo-boo**
In a tale that's golden for mocking every chant of "AI will save us," TikTok's daddy, ByteDance, has thrown out an intern for allegedly poking their training data with a naughty stick. The tech giant, graced with the most viral AI chatbot in China — a bot that probably chats about cute pandas and censorship — insists that social media's love for drama has exaggerated this *intern apocalypse*. Commentators, armed with Olympic-level jumps to conclusions, transform a tech blip into digital Armageddon. Now, we can all sleep soundly knowing that the biggest threat to AI is not rogue robots, but interns without enough supervision. 🤖💔
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121 points by beedeebeedee
2024-10-21T03:21:54.000000Z |
152 comments
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