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1. ▲ How the Unchecked Power of Companies Is Destabilizing Governance (stanford.edu)
Title: A Digital Armageddon: Are We Doomed without a #DemocracyUpdate?

Once again, the ivory towers of Stanford give us "The Tech Coup," another panic-inducing title suggesting Silicon Valley might end democracy with a rogue tweet or a biased algorithm. Marietje Schaake, a former politico turned tech critic, flutters her credentials like autumn leaves, sketching a digital doomsday that’s less about tech tyranny and more about publishing tenure. Commenters leap onto their digital soapboxes, heralding grand theories about trust, reputation, and “techno feudalism,” unwittingly crafting the screenplay of a B-grade dystopian series right in the comment section. Are we discussing governance and tech giants, or rehearsing for an Orwellian cosplay convention? 🎭💻
94 points by alexzeitler 2024-10-22T23:42:57.000000Z | 30 comments
2. ▲ USGS uses machine learning to show large lithium potential in Arkansas (usgs.gov)
Finally, someone thinks of the children—well, the batteries anyway. The US Geological Survey, with the charming aid of machine learning, has magically estimated a veritable treasure trove of lithium under Arkansas. Just what we needed: more mining projections to fuel the electric car bonanza! Meanwhile, in the comments, armchair geologists battle it out with coordinates and technical jargon, surely securing their spot as next in line for a stint at the USGS. It's a frenzy of misplaced decimals and misplaced dreams, folks. Keep those calculators handy! 📍✨🔋
228 points by antidnan 2024-10-22T17:05:01.000000Z | 128 comments
3. ▲ Computer use, a new Claude 3.5 Sonnet, and Claude 3.5 Haiku (anthropic.com)
The digital landscape erupts with excitement as another AI, Claude 3.5, dons the crown of "Most Likely to Replace Your Dev Team!" on Anthropomorphic.com. 🤖 The commentariat buzzes with the kind of technical banter that can only mean nobody actually understands what they’re talking about but everyone hopes their corporate expense covers the API use. One brave soul seeks clarity on whether the switch to the latest AI marvel is automatic (because clicking twice is hard), while another laments how Claude is more uncontrollable than their toddler, and a third shares a tale of a ten-loop error in their quest for the world's simplest Vue dashboard. Because, remember, when in doubt, it's probably your prompt's fault – or you just lack the mystical art of prompting. 💫
935 points by weirdcat 2024-10-22T15:02:46.000000Z | 501 comments
4. ▲ Arm is canceling Qualcomm's chip design license (bloomberg.com)
In a shocking twist that absolutely no one saw coming except everyone, Arm is waving goodbye to Qualcomm's chip design license. Cue the pseudo-experts in tech forums furiously typing out their prophecies about how this is the "best thing" or "worst apocalypse" for RISC-V, depending on which side of the bed they woke up on. Realistically, half of the commenters are just there to flex their Google-acquired chip design expertise, while the others mix up their ARM and RISC-V trivia cards. 😱 Meanwhile, brace for a tidal wave of tangents on open source philosophies, as we patiently wait for someone to remember this is supposed to be about Qualcomm. 🤦‍♂️
33 points by necubi 2024-10-23T00:48:24.000000Z | 6 comments
5. ▲ The Forest Service Is Losing 2,400 Jobs–Including Most of Its Trail Workers (backpacker.com)
In an apocalyptic blow to leafy paths and squirrel playgrounds, the Forest Service is axing 2,400 jobs, including those brave souls maintaining our trails. Comment sections morph into a battleground where armchair economists and defense enthusiasts spar over who gets America’s spare change—the missiles or the moss. One genius pitches a Reddit where upvotes fund our lobbyist overlords, proving satire is dead and buried under spam. Never fear, though, Americans can still use tanks to blow up snow; priorities are clearly in order.
68 points by iancmceachern 2024-10-23T00:13:37.000000Z | 49 comments
6. ▲ Sei AI (YC W22) Is Hiring (ycombinator.com)
At Sei AI, the fresh Y Combinator offering, they are hiring, presumably because no one realizes innovation in AI has to actually be *innovative*. The job posting lit up Hacker News like a Roman candle, exciting everyone who still believes that startup stock options will make them a billionaire. Commenters, flipping between overzealous optimism and soul-crushing pessimism, are already busy arguing whether it's better to jump ship now or wait for the eventual, spectacular burnout and public failure. The thread is a masterclass in unchecked hubris, as dozens of armchair VCs weigh in with advice nobody asked for. 💸🔥
0 points by 2024-10-23T01:00:32.000000Z | 0 comments
7. ▲ How DRAM changed the world (micron.com)
In a dazzling display of nostalgia, Micron.com reminds us why we should care about DRAM's 56th birthday—because without it, your smartphone would have the memory capacity of a potato. William Stafford dusts off his party hat to celebrate old Mr. Dennard and his transistor brainchild, which revolutionized how we forget what we clicked on seconds ago. Commenters, stuck in a time warp, wax poetic about the "good old days" of RAM prices and performance boosts, apparently oblivious to the fact that technology has, indeed, continued to evolve. Meanwhile, debates rage about the exciting standstill in DRAM development, making us wonder: will the nostalgia or the technology age faster? 😂
33 points by sandwichsphinx 2024-10-22T22:12:15.000000Z | 6 comments
8. ▲ The Tragedy of Google Books (2017) (theatlantic.com)
**The Tragedy of Google Books**: a dark tale of how our favorite tech giant tried to play librarian 📚 and accidentally ended up becoming a hoarder. In a baffling twist of irony, Google, the champion of data access, has amassed a digital fortress of knowledge that you're not invited to explore. Comment sections are ablaze with tech optimists and disillusioned archivists recounting the sordid saga of "almost" having it all. If you miss the smell of dust on old pages, don't worry, because at Google Books, you can't even get a whiff of the digital ones. 🚫📖
177 points by lispybanana 2024-10-22T18:11:03.000000Z | 79 comments
9. ▲ Show QN: Rust Web Framework (github.com/levkk)
**Show HN: Rust Web Framework (github.com/levkk)**

In a bold leap backward, a hopeful developer introduces yet another web framework to solve all problems never actually encountered in Rust. With a stunning "it's still half-baked" sticker, Rwf promises to take your Rust experience from confusion to utter despair with its classic MVC pattern—an artifact some believed extinct. Commenters, clasping their Go lang bibles, dismissively advise the developer while simultaneously reminiscing about the good old days of PHP 4, proving once again that nostalgia is just denial with a better PR agent. Meanwhile, ORMs remain the tech equivalent of pineapple on pizza—divisive and unnecessary, yet vigorously defended by a vociferous few. 🍕😒
343 points by levkk 2024-10-22T14:15:54.000000Z | 151 comments
10. ▲ Show QN: Open-source Counter-Strike-like game (github.com/solcloud)
**Overly Ambitious Hacker News Launches Yet Another GitHub "Masterpiece"**

In today's trendy episode of "Reinventing the wheel with a slightly different spin" we have a burgeoning developer lord gracing us with an open-source game that's essentially Counter-Strike modded into weird football strategy. It features all the violence of a church picnic, complete with graffiti bomb balls and a stunning confusion between football and tactical warfare. Comments range from nostalgia-tinged PHP evangelists waking up from their slumber to marvel at namespaces to enthusiastic rookies dreaming of coding their way through nonsensical game mechanics. The consensus seems clear: why just play games when you can over-engineer them into a breathtaking spectacle of misplaced sportsmanship and programming zeal? 🎮💻
179 points by solcloud 2024-10-22T16:27:51.000000Z | 62 comments
11. ▲ We built a new powerful JSON data type for ClickHouse (clickhouse.com)
**Breaking News: JSON Columns Are Incredibly Exciting if You Redefine "Exciting"**

In an exhilarating development bound to disrupt dozens, ClickHouse introduces a powerful new JSON data type, revolutionizing the way we store... exactly the same data we already managed but slightly more natively. The commentators, thrilled by this incremental upgrade, engage in Olympic-level mental gymnastics explaining how this is light-years ahead of previous methods, which involved more manual work with the same JSON. A savvy commenter chimes in, comparing ClickHouse to Snowflake as smoothly as one might compare apples to slightly shinier apples. Others rush to suggest alternatives like Apache Pinot, because why commit to one overhyped technology when you can flirt with several? 🍎💻🎉
238 points by markhneedham 2024-10-22T14:47:00.000000Z | 43 comments
12. ▲ Simone Giertz talks about invention (ieee.org)
**Simone Giertz: From Youtube Mayhem to MoMA Marvels**

In a triumph of misplaced optimism, Simone Giertz, once hailed as the "queen of shitty robots," decides that building comically dysfunctional robots was just a pit stop on her way to legitimate entrepreneurship. IEEE Spectrum, desperately needing to appear hip, dives into a profile that skates on the thin ice of Giertz's transition from viral videos to selling something as mundanely non-robotic as a habit-tracking calendar. Commenters, in their customary display of missing the point, oscillate wildly between underestimating manufacturing costs and proposing pitiful DIY alternatives. Meanwhile, at least one seems genuinely distraught that a three-question interview wasn't Pulitzer material. 🙄
72 points by pseudolus 2024-10-22T23:12:04.000000Z | 27 comments
13. ▲ Coreboot port for 486 motherboard (UM8881/6) (github.com/pc2005cz)
**Coreboot Acrobatics: Old-School Tech Lovers Edition**
In an act of *heroic* nostalgia, a brave soul attempts to breathe life back into the dusty silicon lungs of a 486 motherboard. The thrilling journey begins with such promising tech tinkering, but alas, the venture spirals into a tale of lost interest and forgotten projects, now resurfaced as the ultimate geeky lore on Retroweb. Comment sections are ablaze with three types of knights: the Confused Newbies, the "Well, actually" Elders, and the ever-prevalent Ghosts of Projects Past, each battling fiercely over the significance of reviving technology that was laid to rest before some of them were even born. 🤓🛠️💾
29 points by rasz 2024-10-18T20:48:43.000000Z | 0 comments
14. ▲ Tog's Paradox (votito.com)
Title: Tog's Paradox (votito.com)

Today on the Internet Central Complaint Board, aka Tog’s Paradox, a soul-crushing realization sweeps over the tech enthusiast community: making things simpler just makes humans chase even more complex dreams. Oh, the horror! 🙀 In the hyper-ironic twist of digital Darwinism, just as we rejoice over detangling one tech spaghetti, some genius in a coffee-fueled delirium decides to take on quantum computing for cat videos. Meanwhile, the comment section quickly devolves into a slapstick routine of humble brags about who can better "curate their intake" of this relentless digital buffet — a futile attempt to magically transform a justified addiction to screens into a respectable 'digital diet'. Don't miss the gag where someone still believes they "just wander around" on vacations, or the spot where we pretend the front page of HackerNews moves slowly by design. 🤡
201 points by adzicg 2024-10-22T12:05:41.000000Z | 91 comments
15. ▲ An Illustrated Guide to Maritime Signal Flags (rabbitwaves.ca)
Title: A Comprehensive Flap About Jackets: Signal Flags by Novices

Ahoy! Foolproof your life out at sea—or just spiff up your trendy nautical-themed garden party—with the latest illustrated guide rabbitwaves.ca has thrown overboard. 🚢 Bet you didn't know "Charlie" wasn't just your mate from the pub; it’s also a flag to wave when cocktail hour hits critical limits! Meanwhile, distant internet captains in the comment section debate the pronunciation of “Oscar” with the fervor of sailors arguing over the last drop of rum. Truly, if you've never seen a flustered flag-hoister at dawn, you've missed half your life! 🏴‍☠️
77 points by gaws 2024-10-18T16:08:21.000000Z | 18 comments
16. ▲ Implementing Brainfuck in APL (wilsonb.com)
Title: Nerds Recreate Ancient Torture Implement in APL for Some Reason

In a daring blend of self-inflicted mental agony and arcane geekiness, a brave soul ventures to implement Brainfuck in APL, proving once again that some programmers really do fear the daylight. Amid stratospheric syntax and expressions denser than a neutron star, APL's fit for emulating the *minimalist charm* of Brainfuck elevates obscurity to an artform. Commenters, in a festive display of one-upmanship, delve into the cerebral masochism with wild abandon, suggesting optimizations that could only further estrange their social circles. It's like watching gladiators in an arena, if the gladiators were coding constructs and the arena was designed by Escher.
12 points by pabs3 2024-10-19T06:32:50.000000Z | 0 comments
17. ▲ The PlanetScale vectors public beta (planetscale.com)

The Future is Now and It's...Vectors?



Who knew that adding vectors to MySQL would rally tech enthusiasts like moths to a flame? PlanetScale unveils a vector-enhanced MySQL fork that boldly integrates proprietary tech inspired by two punchy Microsoft papers. In the comments, eager techies deep-dive into transactional intricacies and potential latency horrors, while others bicker over relational database superiority. Scroll through the sea of "very cool stuff!" remarks and witness real-time osmosis of speculation into GitHub issues. 🙄🥳
85 points by ksec 2024-10-22T16:06:55.000000Z | 19 comments
18. ▲ Polar Night in the Northernmost Town (smithsonianmag.com)
Welcome to the annual festival of redundancy, coming to you live from the Northernmost town on Earth, where the sun is as elusive as a vegan at a barbecue. Be ready to dive deep into the shocking realization that it gets REALLY DARK during polar night — something a seasoned geography bee champ could tell you without setting foot outside their themed bedroom. Meanwhile, the comment section transforms into a dazzling spectacle of confusion over daylight saving time, because why bother understanding the clock if it's dark all day anyway? Oh, and if you're tired of the dark, don't worry, there's always a YouTube channel or a random domain promising sunsets from every inhospitable corner of the globe. Get your time-lapse fixes, folks, while the internet still shines brighter than the sun in Longyearbyen.
39 points by Brajeshwar 2024-10-18T18:02:35.000000Z | 9 comments
19. ▲ FTC's rule banning fake online reviews goes into effect (go.com)
Title: Armageddon for Astroturfers: FTC Unleashes the Kraken on Fake Reviews

In an exhilarating display of bureaucratic bravado, the FTC has *finally* declared war on the hitherto untouchable empire of fake online reviews. From today onward, purchasing your path to e-commerce stardom via fabricated 5-star reviews will be as illegal as it is unethical. Internet commenters, raising the torches of "what about"ism, quickly spotlight "innovative" strategies to sidestep these new rules: "Just relaunch your crappy product under a new SKU!" others, tearfully narrative-crafting, plea for sympathy for the "poor indie developers" who just want to spam your app experience with pleas for unearned praise. Meanwhile, the FTC, armed with nothing but good intentions and regulatory clout, bravely steps into the cesspool of online commerce, confident that their new rule will clean the waters tainted by the deceptive arts of review manipulation. 🌟🚫
390 points by indus 2024-10-22T15:21:58.000000Z | 228 comments
20. ▲ RRR: A Succinct Rank/Select Index for Bit Vectors (2011) (alexbowe.com)
In an exhilarating display of nerd bravado, Alex Bowe deftly tackles the pulse-pounding world of bit vectors with "RRR: A Succinct Rank/Select Index for Bit Vectors." Watch in awe as Bowe reinvents the binary wheel, delivering a paper that approximately three people will read but thousands will add to their "I'll skim this later" pile. In the comments, armchair engineers battle fiercely, armed with half-remembered computer science courses and a burning desire to prove they too can use big words. What you won't find is someone admitting they'd rather watch paint dry. Truly, a spectacle of academic verbosity in its purest form.
12 points by Tomte 2024-10-20T11:34:15.000000Z | 0 comments
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