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▲ Quantized Llama models with increased speed and a reduced memory footprint (meta.com)
**The Parable of the Quantized Llama: A Tale of Compromise and Confusion**
Today, Meta bequeaths upon the lowly developers the gift of Quantized Llama 3.2 models: faster, smaller, but just a smidge less accurate. Cue applause from edge device developers everywhere, glad that they can now shove slightly dumber AI into their hardware without breaking a virtual sweat. Over in the comments, IT warriors type away furiously with tales of "random rotation matrices" and "vector dithering", each anecdote more blindingly niche than the last. The few pleading for English translations are mercilessly ignored, as the true sport lies in mastering the dialect of computational esoterica and basking in the elitist glow. 🦙💾🌀
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248 points by egnehots
2024-10-24T18:52:44 1729795964 |
56 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ Why Safety Profiles Failed (circle-lang.org)
**Hackernews Hysteria: The C++ Safety Profile That Didn't**
In a valiant but vacuous effort to exorcise the haunting specters of C++'s haunted memory safety, 'Safety Profiles' emerge from the crypt only to slink back without so much as a whimper. The article, garnished with the usual pomp of promising profound progress, shares the tale of a grand initiative that blooms into a wondrous, sprawling nothing. Commenters queue to serve a delicate buffet of dismay, sprinkled with the zest of resigned "I-told-you-so's" and a faint hope disguised as strategic insight, debating whether Safe C++ can save them from their inevitable descent into the Rust abyss. The cycle of despair and denial continues, undisturbed by the inconvenient truth that perhaps, just maybe, C++ remains as unsafe as climbing a greased ladder—nostalgic, perilous, and a lawsuit waiting to happen.
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81 points by pjmlp
2024-10-24T21:26:09 1729805169 |
36 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ Launch QN: Skyvern (YC S23) – open-source AI agent for browser automations (github.com/skyvern-ai)
In the latest HN hype spectacle, Skyvern 🐉 reveals their open-source AI that transforms your browser into a circus of erratically automated actions powered by LLMs and computer vision. Fear not the chaos of website layout changes; Skyvern promises to handle it all, though it still baffles experts with its convoluted prompt-plus-payroll setup that feels more like an arcane ritual than tech innovation. Commenters are torn between admiration and skepticism, dissecting every angle from security concerns (pass those credentials over, they'll handle them—wink, wink) to the perennial problem of website redesigns which apparently only affects dinosaurs and government relics. Welcome to the future of browser automation, or as some might see it, an overcooked pot of tech jargon soup! 🍲
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230 points by suchintan
2024-10-24T15:51:21 1729785081 |
52 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Bitwarden SDK relicensed from proprietary to GPLv3 (github.com/bitwarden)
**Bitwarden GPLs Its Way to Freedom...Sort Of**
In a valiant display of open-source virtue signaling, Bitwarden proclaims it now loves GPLv3 more than proprietary licenses, prompting an onslaught of diffs no one will ever read. GitHub commenters, in a state of unfounded optimism, trip over themselves to praise this "revolutionary" move that was definitely not prompted by any competitors with less "fuckery". Meanwhile, a lone voice of semi-reason debates whether this actually means everything has to be open-sourced 💻📖, sparking a flurry of mildly informed replies about what GPLv3 does and doesn't do. Stay tuned for next week when they might just discover the rest of the license text.
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42 points by ferbivore
2024-10-24T22:41:03 1729809663 |
7 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Security research on Private Cloud Compute (security.apple.com)
**Hot Off The Press: Apple Turns Cloud Fluffy with Privacy Smoke**
In the latest edition of "Privacy Theater," Apple has unveiled its Private Cloud Compute (PCC) thingamajig, promising to marry device security with cloud aloofness, thus likely aiming to distract everyone from pesky hardware backdoors. Commenters, sporting their best tinfoil hats, enthusiastically juggle between praising transparency logs and fearing ghostly silicon spies — apparently forgetting that if their hardware is already compromised, no amount of cloud computing will save their cat videos. Meanwhile, others speculate on whether these cloud shenanigans are just Apple's newest hobby or another sleek misdirection from ‘intentional’ flaws. Ah, the joys of trusting your entire digital life to a company that "probably" respects your privacy. 😅
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171 points by todsacerdoti
2024-10-24T17:36:06 1729791366 |
45 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ Brush – A new compatible Gaussian splatting engine (github.com/arthurbrussee)
**The Wonderful World of Brush – A Techno-Odyssey for the Masses**
Welcome to another episode of "Overpromising in Tech: Brush Edition". Brush, hailed as the savior of 3D splatting, promises all things to all systems—from your grandma's toaster to the latest quantum supercomputer. Currently, it thrives only in the exclusive realm of Chrome 129+; and behold, it may soon grace Firefox and Safari with its presence. Meanwhile, developers solemnly pledge allegiance to updating documentation, hinting vaguely at "soon," while patrons of the comments section celebrate this ambiguously timed mastery, led astray by the siren call of virtual demos that load "almost instantly"—hope for their 50MB files. Is this the dawn of easy 3D reconstruction or just another day in techno-promise land? Stay tuned, or dare to experiment and prepare for potential glitch-fests! 🎨🖥️🤔
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89 points by Tycho87
2024-10-24T19:24:36 1729797876 |
19 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Zigler: Zig NIFs in Elixir (github.com/e-xyza)
Title: Zigler: Zig NIFs in Elixir (github.com/e-xyza)
It's finally here, guys! Zigler, the promised messiah of the Elixir world, claims to effortlessly bridge Zig and Elixir so you, too, can pretend your high-level function calls are hardcore low-level NIFs. The enthusiam on GitHub suggests profound relief among the dozen Elixir devs yearning to feel cool writing more than just web apps. Meanwhile, in the comments, a heartwarming mix of bewilderment and panic unfolds about potentially crashing their precious BEAM VM, while the rest debate the undying stability of libraries no one updates. Because let's face it, who doesn't get excited about software stability promised by a "highly experimental" feature? 🙃
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133 points by ksec
2024-10-24T17:53:26 1729792406 |
48 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Never Missing the Train Again (lilymara.xyz)
Never Missing the Train Again: A Tale of Tech Overdose in Transit
Today on "Pedestrian Problems in Techlandia," one San Franciscan relates their epic struggle of not owning a car 🚗 in the land of tech-bros and erratic public transit. Queue dramatics: a smartphone-loaded, app-dependent urbanite pines nostalgically to just know the ✨magic✨ of their transit proximity sans digital crutches like CityMapper. Meanwhile, the comment gallery one-ups each other with tales of hacked Kindles and bespoke RSS feeds, ostensibly creating a commuter's utopia on their old eBook readers. But hey, saving three minutes on your morning commute definitely justifies a weekend of device jailbreaking, right? 🚋🙄
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161 points by thimabi
2024-10-23T11:00:15 1729681215 |
52 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Post World War II Food (nps.gov)
In an eye-opening revelation from NPS, we gather around the campfire to hear tales of how World War II reshaped American bellies with a thrilling mix of military rations and accidental global cuisine discovery. Meanwhile, the comment section morphs into a nostalgic haze of MRE enthusiasts, where every puff of a 50-year-old cigarette is treated like a spiritual awakening rather than a desperate cry for a lung doctor. Between earnest testimonials of rare nicotine nirvana and comparisons of modern smokes to "fried dick cancer", these connoisseurs of obsolete carcinogens almost make you forget that the original topic was food. Almost. 🚬🥴
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147 points by paulpauper
2024-10-24T16:54:53 1729788893 |
113 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Show QN: 2048 turned 10 this year, I built an updated version to celebrate (play2048.co)
Title: Show HN: "New" 2048 and the Nostalgic Echo Chamber
In a stunning display of digital regurgitation, an intrepid Hacker News user celebrates the *monumental* 10-year anniversary of 2048 by creating yet another version of the game, because who needs originality in 2023? The comment section transforms into an emotional support group, where one user reveals the game cured their fear of flying—clearly, sliders move more than just tiles. Meanwhile, another commenter's brief coding adventure turns into a humblebrag about their accidental contributions to React, potentially the highlight of their career. But let's not ignore the classic Hacker News pedantry, as debates ignite over numerical anniversaries and whether 2048 is a clone or a monument to intellectual theft. Play on, players! 🎮💔
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424 points by terabytest
2024-10-24T12:15:27 1729772127 |
163 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ Show QN: TypeSchema – A JSON specification to describe data models (typeschema.org)
In an era of rehashed ideas rebadged as innovation, TypeSchema emerges as the *newest* way to describe data models that JSON Schema hadn’t already figured out in the 21st century. HN’s finest keyboard warriors engage in the most pivotal debate since the last time someone reinvented the wheel: Why use TypeSchema when JSON Schema exists and is understood by more than three people and their pet chinchillas? Comment threads ignite with comparisons to every vaguely related tech, concluding with the ritualistic “What’s the benefit over existing tech?”—because if we can't improve our tools every week, are we even developers? Meanwhile, replies meander through tech jargon, somehow equating confusion with thought leadership. 🙄
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70 points by k42b3
2024-10-24T19:46:58 1729799218 |
28 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ Lingo: A Go micro language framework for building Domain Specific Languages (about.gitlab.com)
**Lingo: The Micro Language Framework That Solves Everything (About.gitlab.com)**
In an astonishing feat of redundancy, the tech world gets blessed with yet another micro framework for building Domain Specific Languages (DSLs), because clearly what was missing in our chaotic ecosystem was *another* way to complicate problem-solving. Commenters, in a delightful display of missing the point, dive deep into semantic debates about the very definition of DSLs—because, if there's anything more thrilling than discussing Lingo, it's arguing whether SQL stands for "Structured" or "Standard" Query Language. Meanwhile, another brave soul wonders why Ruby used Float("...") instead of #to_f, sparking a groundbreaking conversation about error handling that will surely revolutionize programming as we know it. 🙄 With Lingo, prepare to solve none of your problems more elegantly than before, but with an esoteric flair that guarantees job security by obscurity.
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46 points by adityasaky
2024-10-24T19:23:38 1729797818 |
12 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ Show QN: Pneumatic – free open-source workflow software (github.com/pneumaticapp)
Title: Show HN: Pneumatic – free open-source workflow software (github.com/pneumaticapp)
Another day, another game-changing open-source tool promising to revolutionize the mundane art of **workflow automation**. As the HackerNews crowd unleashes its usual cocktail of *overenthusiasm mixed with supreme skepticism*, Pneumatic waves its Apache 2.0 flag high as if licensing choices were as exhilarating as space launches. In the comment section, watch communities collide as seasoned developers explain why their pet tools are superior, while others question the sustainability of "yet another free tool" before eventually cloning it "just to check the docs." Will Pneumatic puff up the tech balloons further, or deflate quietly into the abyss of GitHub repos? Only the relentless waves of nit-picking HN commenters will tell. 🤓💨
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7 points by pneumaticteam
2024-10-24T23:17:40 1729811860 |
0 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ The Lion of St. Mark's Square in Venice Is Chinese (archaeologymag.com)
**The Lion of St. Mark's Square Made in China: Crisis in Venice, or Just Old News?**
The Internet's beacon of wisdom, archaeologymag.com, catapults scholars and conspiracy enthusiasts into a frenzy with the earth-shattering revelation that Venice's famed Lion might be an eighth-century Chinese knock-off. A galactic team of experts determined via some high-tech elemental analysis that a chunk of the statue originated from the Tang Dynasty—not quite your local Venetian workshop. Despite this, web detectives in the comments section unravel deeper conspiracies: Was the lion smuggled into Venice under Marco Polo's cloak or just Amazon Prime-ed by Mongol couriers? As the comment wars rage, accusations of historical looting bounce around more than a beach ball at a Nickelback concert, placing the Venetian lion somewhere between a bootleg action figure and the cultural heist of the millennium. 🦁🔍🇨🇳
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95 points by pseudolus
2024-10-24T17:08:43 1729789723 |
35 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Viva Labs (YC W22) is hiring a video/image AI research lead (ycombinator.com)
At Viva Labs, a start-up so groundbreaking that mentioning its Y Combinator batch is mandatory, the quest for a new overlord of video/image AI has begun. They're searching for someone capable of translating buzzwords into technologies that even their own team struggles to understand. The comment section, a perpetual circus of Silicon Valley egos, lights up with armchair experts debating whether this job requires actual skills or just the ability to nod convincingly at investor meetings. Hopefuls flood the thread with self-aggrandizing tales from their stints at obscure startups, clearly misunderstanding the job posting as a personal blog opportunity. 🙄
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0 points by
2024-10-24T21:00:46 1729803646 |
0 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Data viz project that maps all earthquakes by magnitude (concord.org)
Title: Amateur Hour at Concord's Earthquake Color-In
In a world where clearer data visualization could save lives, Concord.org presents a 3D earthquake map that fails to distinguish between a tremble and a city destroyer. The user interface seems to believe that New Zealand thrives on seismic surprises, hiding major earthquakes behind feeble circles. Commenters excitedly uncover this lurking seismic monster, thinking they’ve just discovered New Zealand had more than two earthquakes in its history. Meanwhile, someone attempts a class project with Google's early warning sounds, sending students diving under desks—reminding us that not all education is practical, but it can be entertaining.
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49 points by therabbithole
2024-10-24T18:29:23 1729794563 |
8 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ U.S. Consumer Watchdog Cautions Businesses on Surveillance of Workers (wsj.com)
The U.S. Consumer Watchdog has heroically decided to caution businesses about something as trivial as workforce surveillance, a practice just slightly more invasive than reading their minds directly. Did you know workers are people too, and they apparently enjoy "privacy" during those endless hours between coffee breaks and staged Zoom meetings? Luckily, commenters dive deep into the arcane differences between outright spying and "monitoring for productivity", with one enlightened soul lamenting the sacred privacy of phone calls versus screen snooping. Meanwhile, another dreams of a dystopian future where all this fuss about privacy just disappears under the iron fist of their favorite "True Leader".
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21 points by sandwichsphinx
2024-10-25T00:05:08 1729814708 |
4 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ The Anvil Text Editor (anvil-editor.net)
**The Anvil Text Editor: Another Wheel, Reinvented**
In today's episode of reinventing the digital wheel for hipster programmers, behold Anvil—yet another text editor that desperately integrates your beloved mouse with the CLI, like it's ground-breaking tech from 1984. Let's thank the GIO devs for ensuring Go's clean idiomatic beauty didn't go to waste and got its rightful place in a graphical text manipulation language that, no doubt, will replace Vim and Emacs in the next Silicon Valley startup foosball tournament. Our overjoyed keyboard warriors in the comments dive deep, discussing everything from arcane multiple cursor benefits to font sourcing challenges, leaving us pondering – when did customizing a text editor become the new assembling IKEA furniture without a manual? 🤔 Users are passionately exchanging tips on how to move their cursors across vast textscapes, revealing a split in the community between Team Mouse and Team Keyboard Warrior. Truly, the Great Editor Wars of 2023 are upon us, and Anvil is here with its rest APIs, trying hard not to be left behind. 🐭⌨️
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80 points by bwidlar
2024-10-23T08:29:41 1729672181 |
66 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ Rider is now free for non-commercial use (jetbrains.com)
**Rider is now free for non-commercial use: A Game-Changer or Just More Clutter?**
In a world starved for yet another Integrated Development Environment (IDE), JetBrains magnanimously offers Rider for free to all the hobbyists recompiling Tetris in their basement. Commenters tripped over themselves to praise Rider's seamless integration with every game engine ever conceived, while somehow maintaining a straight face. One enlightened soul bravely admitted the cardinal sin of JetBrains: all their products are essentially the same software wearing different hats. 🎩 Meanwhile, the great unwashed masses bemoan the death of Visual Studio for Mac, setting the bar so low that even a glorified text editor feels like an upgrade. 💻✨
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638 points by kretaceous
2024-10-24T14:43:26 1729781006 |
314 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Self-Documenting Code (lackofimagination.org)
**Coding Horrors Emerge at lackofimagination.org**
At lackofimagination.org, a verbose essay pretends to dispel myths about self-documenting code, but instead confirms that the only crime worse than using regular expressions for password validation is explaining it afterwards. Hacker News knights assemble to joust about JavaScript idiosyncrasies with the fervor of a medieval crusade, although none seem aware they're fighting over who gets to reinvent the flattest wheel. One brave soul suggests abandoning exceptions for a utopic world of union types, meanwhile, others debate the ethics of function naming like medieval scholars arguing over how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. Ah, indeed, the age-old tech debate continues: write less, argue more — or is it the other way around? ⌨️🤦♂️
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44 points by tie-in
2024-10-23T13:33:49 1729690429 |
89 comments
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