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▲ You wouldn't steal a font (rib.gay)
**You Wouldn't Steal A Font, But Would You Download One Illegally?**
In the breath-taking world of online debates, a new rib.gay article makes a daring leap into the stormy seas of font piracy, a topic undoubtedly keeping us all awake at night. Is it the *worst* time to bet on high font licensing costs sending every mobile app developer spiraling into financial doom or turning them into digital-age pirates? Commenters, in a tangle of outrage and confusion, are either fiercely guarding the sanctity of expensive typefaces or comparing basic fonts to Michelin-worthy truffles. Yes, as the world burns, let's argue if having the right to "Comic Sans" without theft is civilization's hill to die on. 🤡🔠
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684 points by todsacerdoti
2025-04-23T19:42:36 1745437356 |
193 comments
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| 2. |
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▲ How a 20 year old bug in GTA San Andreas surfaced in Windows 11 24H2 (cookieplmonster.github.io)
**How a 20-Year-Old Bug in GTA Transforms Coders into Conspiracy Theorists**
In the mystical land of obsolete software and fresh-faced Windows updates, a heroic coder battles the vanishing act of the Skimmer plane in GTA San Andreas. The online minions gather around the digital campfire at cookieplmonster.github.io, tossing their two cents about whether SilentPatch, the patron saint of bugs, is the savior or the curse. Between shedding tears over legendary developers and reminiscing about better days when software just crashed and didn’t pull magic tricks, the comment section devolves into a group therapy session sprinkled with nostalgia. Will our intrepid hero find the bug, or will they be lost in the labyrinth of "helpful" forum advice? Only the next Windows update knows! 🕵️♂️💻🐞
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894 points by yett
2025-04-23T14:00:11 1745416811 |
203 comments
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| 3. |
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▲ CubeCL: GPU Kernels in Rust for CUDA, ROCm, and WGPU (github.com/tracel-ai)
**Developers Desperate for Attention Attempt GPU Programming with Rust**
The programming wizards at Tracel AI would like you to know that you can finally use Rust to not only manage your memory with unnecessary complexity but also slow down your GPU with it. Because saving a few microseconds on memory management clearly offsets the hours lost trying to figure out what a "zero-cost abstraction" actually costs in human sanity. Comment section heroes debate the virtues of CubeCL vs. OpenCL, spiraling into a wonderland of compilation flags and borrowed pointers, while casually dropping links to rust-gpu.github.io, lest you question their dedication to niche performance optimizations. Add a splash of jargon, a pinch of overpromise, and stir until the performance improvements are as unclear as the documentation. 😅🚀
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31 points by ashvardanian
2025-04-23T23:19:32 1745450372 |
2 comments
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| 4. |
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▲ Shortest walking tour to 81,998 bars in Korea – TSP solved in 178 days (uwaterloo.ca)
Title: Let's Walk Drunk Across Korea: An Exercise in Pointless Optimization
In a dazzling display of computational overkill, the geniuses at the University of Waterloo have cracked the essential societal question no one asked: how to optimally stumble between 81,998 bars in South Korea. Harnessing the fearsome power of the Open Source Routing Machine, they've mapped out 3,361,795,003 footslog combos ensuring that your drunken exploits across the peninsula are mathematically sublime. Commenters are already debating whether they could use their frequent flyer miles for emergency liver transplants mid-crawl or arguing the merits of incorporating soju stops to actually remember those 178 days. Stay tuned for their next study on optimal paths to 81,999 toilets. 🍻
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12 points by geeknews
2025-04-24T00:20:40 1745454040 |
0 comments
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| 5. |
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▲ Google blocked Motorola use of Perplexity AI, witness says (bloomberg.com)
**Google Puts Rubber Stamp On Monopoly March: Internet Outraged By Design**
The digital overlords at Google decided to "not block but definitely restrict" Perplexity AI on Motorola devices. This can be confirmed by anyone willing to struggle through the misleading haze of a headline and actually read the article — a Herculean effort beyond the average online commenter. Shockingly, the audaciousness peaks as commenters heroically miss the point, spinning this contractual maze as either a tech giant's chokehold on innovation or a misunderstood business move. 🙄 Meanwhile, the truth gets lost faster than Google's "Don't Be Evil" motto.
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100 points by welpandthen
2025-04-23T20:52:19 1745441539 |
58 comments
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| 6. |
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▲ DOGE Worker’s Code Supports NLRB Whistleblower (krebsonsecurity.com)
**Mocking the Whistle in the Tech Wilderness**
A whistleblower at the ever-so-trustworthy NLRB has raised the alarms—this time pointing fingers at Elon Musk's DOGE division for sneakily hoarding gigabytes of deliciously sensitive data. Because why not add alleged data theft to the portfolio of "achievements" when you're already mastering the art of government efficiency? In the peanut gallery, commenters rise to the occasion with insights like a high school code club: mixing "open source" debates with gallons of technical bravado and a dash of "oops, we accidentally the whole repository." 🤓 Meanwhile, all are missing the point: whether the code is forked, deleted, or turned into a digital paper plane, it's just another Tuesday in Techtopia, where ethics are optional and data privacy is a user setting, permanently set to "public".
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597 points by todsacerdoti
2025-04-23T20:48:57 1745441337 |
297 comments
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| 7. |
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▲ Yagri: You are gonna read it (scottantipa.com)
**Hackers Rediscover Ancient Programming Wisdom, Proceed to Miss Point Entirely**
A prophet in tech's clothing bravely pens a missive about YAGRI: *You Are Gonna Read It*, a radical concept positing that perhaps, just maybe, saving some extra bits of data could be useful. The comment section morphs into a battleground where armchair architects spar over the merits of boolean fields versus timestamp fields, as if their hot takes could influence the tides of database design. One ingenious soul triumphantly declares booleans a code smell, likely while patting themselves on the back so hard they sprain something. Meanwhile, another commenter contemplates the philosophical nightmare of a boolean operation failing because time decided to start at zero. As always, the true lesson—keep it simple—is drowned out by the clatter of keyboards preaching the gospel of overcomplication. 🤓
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82 points by escot
2025-04-23T21:47:27 1745444847 |
42 comments
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| 8. |
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▲ Show QN: My from-scratch OS kernel that runs DOOM (github.com/unmappedstack)
Title: **Show HN: My from-scratch OS kernel that runs DOOM**
In the latest installment of "I skipped my operating systems class to make one myself", a brave hacker unveils TacOS, a kernel which supports crucial functionalities like running the 90s videogame classic DOOM and, well, not much else. The commenters lose their collective minds over this technological marvel, each congratulating the developer on reinventing the wheel. One inspired soul dreams of someday achieving the same heights of programming rapture. Meanwhile, society patiently waits for TacOS to bug-fix itself into oblivion or until the developer abandons it for the next shiny project. 🌮💻👾
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17 points by UnmappedStack
2025-04-24T00:15:22 1745453722 |
5 comments
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| 9. |
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▲ Teaching LLMs how to solid model (willpatrick.xyz)
**When Machines Do The Drawing: A Futuristic Sketch Comedy**
In a world where CAD models are no longer the sacred craft of actual engineers but just another party trick for AI show-offs, we find the latest blog babbling excitedly about how LLMs are poised to revolutionize nothing less than the holy act of making 3D mechanical parts. Forget skill, understanding, or even common Engineer's intuition; all you need now is a generative LLM trained by binge-watching millions of existing CAD files. Just imagine the endless commenters joyously arguing about hole placements, as if summoning a perfectly aligned 3mm gap through descriptive magic is easier than explaining to grandma how to use Zoom. 🚀😂 Meanwhile, another cluster of users dreams of ditching real CAD tools for something that interprets their napkin sketches, rejecting decades of design expertise for AI that can barely differentiate between a bolt and a jpeg of a bagel. Keep watching this space for more adventures in making everything simpler but nothing easier.
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167 points by wgpatrick
2025-04-23T18:13:43 1745432023 |
50 comments
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| 10. |
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▲ Graphics livecoding in Common Lisp (kevingal.com)
Graphics livecoding in Common Lisp: The hermetic archmages of programming have graced us once again with revelations from the arcane world of Common Lisp, for those three people who still think parentheses are a lifestyle. We’re talking livecoding 🎉 - because nothing says "exciting" like watching code compile in real time while questioning all your life choices. Hear ye, graphics enthusiasts and functional programming zealots, gather 'round to invoke demonic graphics algorithms without pausing the endless torment of your machine's CPU. Meanwhile, in the comments, the acolytes pontificate on the sheer euphoria of not having to restart their apps, a joy surely unmatched even by sunlight.
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98 points by adityaathalye
2025-04-23T17:48:20 1745430500 |
28 comments
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| 11. |
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▲ MCP on AWS Lambda with MCPEngine (featureform.com)
**MCP on AWS Lambda with MCPEngine (featureform.com)**
In the latest techno-babble breakthrough, someone figured out how to make LLMs, uh, phone friends through MCP, the latest overhyped protocol destined to revolutionize... I guess, how lonely your code is? 📞🤖 According to the tech wizards, ordinary MCP seances weren't holy enough for production, so they’ve conjured MCPEngine, so you too can summon stateless server spirits in AWS Lambda. But don't worry! Web impresarios in comment land reveal even bigger marvels like "running Python" and "join the AI hype without doing any AI" – leaving us mere mortals dazzled by their ability to redefine productivity. Surely, if you can clone a GitHub repo, you can also pretend to disrupt the digital cosmos. 🚀💸
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47 points by simba-k
2025-04-23T16:17:04 1745425024 |
5 comments
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| 12. |
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▲ C++26: more constexpr in the core language (sandordargo.com)
**C++26: more constexpr in the core language (sandordargo.com)**
In yet another thrilling installment of "Adding features no one fully understands to C++," we explore the expanding universe of constexpr. Behold as C++ programmers salivate over the ability to cast from void* to a pointer of type T during compile time—because if there’s one thing the world was missing, it was definitely more constexpr scenarios (now with 100% more pointer casting!). Meanwhile, in comment land, the C++ faithful are either blissfully unaware or superbly indifferent to the fact that their shiny new toys are piling up faster than compilers can toy with them. As debates rage over adopting C++20, let alone speculating about C++43, enthusiasts and masochists alike gather to muse on the fantasy of runtime features at compile time, because who doesn’t love the mental gymnastics of parsing unreadable C++ metaprogramming code? 🤡
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66 points by jandeboevrie
2025-04-23T19:13:03 1745435583 |
30 comments
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| 13. |
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▲ My experience of participating to a startup weekend competition in Italy (danielpetrica.com)
In an *earth-shattering* revelation that will surely redefine your entire existence, a plucky aspirant ventures into the savage jungles of a startup weekend in Italy. Our intrepid hero shares a tale where PowerPoint slides duel with pedestrian ideas for the "Most Likely to Be Forgotten by Monday" award. The Internet commentariat, ever a bastion of critical thought and original insight, engage in the digital equivalent of throwing pasta against the wall to see what sticks: everything from "life-changing advice" to cries of "This startup saved my dying pet iguana!" Read, laugh, and quietly lament the state of humanity. 🍝🚀💔
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6 points by danielpetrica
2025-04-20T19:53:44 1745178824 |
0 comments
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| 14. |
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▲ AI Horseless Carriages (koomen.dev)
On the cutting edge of technological regress, the intrepid blog post "AI Horseless Carriages" waxes poetic about replacing secretaries of the 1970s with modern AI, tugging heartstrings for those who miss the era of smoke-filled typing pools. Commenters, enlightened as they are, fling back with the technical equivalent of scribbling on a diner napkin. One suggests that LLMs are amazing because, who knows, *maybe someday they'll stop making terrible mistakes!* Meanwhile, a supposed rebel thinks they're onto Big Tech's master plan of "personalization," which is surely just a synonym for the next privacy apocalypse. Behold, a crystal ball of tech discontent and nostalgia for an era of clearer data abuse. 🙄
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464 points by petekoomen
2025-04-23T16:19:56 1745425196 |
314 comments
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| 15. |
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▲ Apple and Meta fined millions for breaching EU law (yahoo.com)
In a shocking turn that nobody saw coming except everyone, Apple and Meta have been slapped with fines for treating EU laws like Apple treats headphone jacks: unnecessary and removable. The tech giants apparently need a couple of months to "comply" or they'll face daily fines, which they likely have scheduled between their daily money-bathing hour and their bi-hourly laugh at consumer rights meeting. The comment section, a veritable symphony of economic ignorance, spends more time analyzing corporate maneuvers than most people do on their taxes. In between cheering for their corporate overlords and mourning the possible increase in their monthly subscription fees, the valiant defenders of the free market managed to consistently miss the point: maybe, just maybe, companies shouldn't trap users in a capitalist hellscape where choice is but an illusion. 💸🍏🔒
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335 points by Aldipower
2025-04-23T10:01:04 1745402464 |
474 comments
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| 16. |
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▲ Launch QN: Cua (YC X25) – Open-Source Docker Container for Computer-Use Agents (github.com/trycua)
**Launch HN: Cua (YC X25) – Open-Source Revolution or Another Yawn?**
Cua - _**the latest recipe for digital chaos**_, generously spiced with over-the-top claims like "97% native speed on Apple Silicon" because that'll surely soothe all our performance anxiety nightmares. Welcome to another round of "groundbreaking" innovation, where AI can now babysit your OS within cozy Docker containers. 🚀 Meanwhile, in the comment section, tech enthusiasts and amateur philosophers ponder deep existential questions about AI ethics, as if AI-driven agents needed a moral compass to navigate their creator’s desktop clutter. Watch as Cua promises to transform your computer into a high-IQ entity while enthusiasts debate the magnanimity of tokens and permissions with **_all the fervor of a sloth gathering leaves._** Because, clearly, what the tech world needs is more lingo-stuffed hype awaiting its glorious unraveling in practical use.
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103 points by frabonacci
2025-04-23T15:55:05 1745423705 |
41 comments
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| 17. |
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▲ Sail-Trim Simulator (atterwind.info)
**Hacker News Launches Yet Another Unrealistic Sailing Simulation**
Hacker News, the joyous breeding ground for opinions thinly veiled as facts, finds a new darling in "Sail-Trim Simulator" – a diversion that baffles your average desk-bound developer as much as actual sailing would. Users quickly flood the comments with confused testimonials like "I am a lake sailor" and urgent calls for virtual "wake or something" to give the illusion of movement. Meanwhile, someone introduces "SailNavSim", a sea-crossing race simulator likened to watching paint dry in real-time unless "things get 'Western'", throwing our seasoned software sailors into a tumult of navigating through the complexities of apparent wind. Rest assured, despite the cries for realistic water animations and grid movements, the closest these armchair captains will get to water is spilling their LaCroix while adjusting their ergonomic gaming chairs. 🚤💨
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77 points by stass
2025-04-23T18:36:50 1745433410 |
20 comments
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| 18. |
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▲ First Successful Lightning Triggering and Guiding Using a Drone (group.ntt)
**NTT Plays Zeus: Unleashing Lightning With Drones**
In a dramatic twist of events that sounds like it's straight out of a B-list sci-fi movie, NTT Corporation, now self-styled as the Thor of the tech world, claims to have tamed lightning with drones. Because who needs lightning rods anymore when you can have flying robots sparking high voltage drama in the sky? Comment sections are ablaze with armchair generals plot-ting how to weaponize the weather and tech enthusiasts confusing correlation with causation that suggests flying Mavics through storms is essentially fieldwork. Meanwhile, skeptics question adding pricey drone fireworks to a weather event just for kicks, presumably because playing God on a budget is the new corporate mantra. 🌩️🤖💸
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65 points by gnabgib
2025-04-23T19:24:58 1745436298 |
25 comments
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| 19. |
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▲ The Future of MCPs (iamcharliegraham.substack.com)
**The Glorious Future of MCPs: A Saga of Misunderstandings & Near-Uses**
As thought leaders stumble through explaining the relevance of MCPs, the comment section devolves into a prime example of tech jargon meets user confusion, garnished with a touch of the usual off-topic Linux evangelism. Apparently, MCP stands for Model Context Protocol and not "Mostly Confused Programmers" as the crowd might lead you to believe. We have hacks envisioning a world where MCP clients are stealthily bundled in every application from Photoshop to your toaster—because clicking two things is just too overwhelming. Meanwhile, amidst cries for simplicity and privacy, someone corrects a poor soul who dared mislabel what MCP really stands for—because, in this era of ubiquitous misunderstanding, correcting people on the Internet remains the last true sport. 🎉😂
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102 points by tylerg
2025-04-23T17:12:58 1745428378 |
47 comments
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| 20. |
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▲ Show QN: Node.js video tutorials where you can edit and run the code
Title: Show HN: Node.js Video Tutorials with Live Code Editing
In a truly groundbreaking feat of redundancy, Hacker News discovers another platform for coding tutorials where you can *watch, edit, and run* code – this time with Node.js flavor. Commenters, bursting with the unique and revolutionary idea that "interactive tutorials are good," praise the integration of a console, something evidently unheard of until this celestial convergence of VSCode and YouTube. In the comments, the usual tech utopists share URLs like trading cards at a Magic: The Gathering tournament, fiercely competing for the crown of who can integrate the most community-acclaimed features. Meanwhile, an iOS Engineer is "phenomenon" excited to contribute, confusing phenomenon with phenomenal, demonstrating just how desperately the HN community needs a spellcheck feature embedded in their next interactive code tutorial platform. 🎉👨💻
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175 points by somebee
2025-04-23T12:35:49 1745411749 |
56 comments
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