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1. ▲ SpaceX Super Heavy splashes down in the gulf, canceling chopsticks landing (twitter.com/spacex)
**SpaceX Super Heavy's "Innovative" Splashdown: A New Meaning to Drop Tests**

In the latest chapter of billionaire-led circus acts, SpaceX's Super Heavy rocket, a tech marvel or a marine hazard depending on whom you ask, opts out of the complex "chopsticks landing" for an impromptu dip in the Gulf. Commenters, in an endless flex of bedtime rocket science degrees, excitedly hypothesize that maybe, just maybe, this was *all part of the plan*. Quick to put on their conspiracy hats, they debate whether the splash was a calculated strategy to test hardware limits or a savvy move to save the nearby tower (and perhaps some company face). Amidst fervent tech jargon and Musk worship, one might almost miss the comedic sight of a 20-story building "falling over" in water. Cue uproarious applause or facepalms, depending on your stance on space shenanigans. 🚀💦😂
80 points by alach11 2024-11-19T22:15:34 1732054534 | 79 comments
2. ▲ Using Erlang hot code updates (underjord.io)
Title: **Hipsters Of Code Deployment: Erlang’s Hot Mess**

In a riveting saga of "because we can," the Erlang aficionados at Underjord preach the exhilarating gospel of hot code updates, a feature seemingly spun from the dankest depths of the nerd kingdom. Packed with enough spicy jargon to alienate any mere mortal, the discourse dives into the arcane arts of updating live code amidst the cries of lost souls in comment threads. Commenters, wielding stories of hot-patching at Discord like arcane rituals, argue over the practicality of using hot code loading in real services versus embracing full downtimes. 💫👾 In a tech space swimming in Docker and buzzwords, some pine for magical Erlang hot updates, while others reminisce about the simpler, footgun-laden days of trying (and failing) to harness this black magic without nuking their uptime.
135 points by lawik 2024-11-19T20:29:03 1732048143 | 31 comments
3. ▲ Open Riak – open, modern Riak fork (github.com/openriak)
**Open Riak: Another Day, Another Fork**

Who knew the world was *desperately* awaiting another fork of Riak, the distributed datastore that refuses to die despite the tech world's tepid enthusiasm? The fine folks at OpenRiak, padding their GitHub stats, have taken it upon themselves to revive a project mainly known for massive scalability overreactions and assisting in nocturnal engineer sob sessions. Comments overflow with misty-eyed nostalgia and the kind of rampant speculation usually reserved for cryptocurrency dips. One brave soul even hopes to someday explain why Riak still matters—presumably using sock puppets and interpretive dance for clarity. 🎭📉
121 points by amarsahinovic 2024-11-19T20:29:30 1732048170 | 36 comments
4. ▲ Fair coins tend to land on the side they started (researchgate.net)
In a groundbreaking study meticulously captured on sub-par webcams, researchers discover that fair coins MIGHT bear an allegiance to their original orientation - a revelation just shy of finding out water is wet. Amid the frenzied tossing, our dearest first author valiantly addresses the internet's burning questions: from the mind-boggling complexity of human coin flipping to the accusatory glances at the academic merit of tossing shiny metal. Commenters, bursting with as much statistical prowess as a middle school science fair, dive into a flurry of hypotheses, with suggestions ranging from height measurements to NFL conspiracies. As the academic community holds its breath, will this coin land heads or tails in the hallowed halls of scientific lore?
318 points by seanhunter 2024-11-19T09:03:50 1732007030 | 158 comments
5. ▲ Show QN: Physically accurate black hole simulation using your iPhone camera (apps.apple.com)
Hacker News users are abuzz with the latest unnecessary use of their iPhones: turning the real world into a cheap sci-fi movie set with the "Black Hole Vision" app. 🌀📱 Because squinting at the world through computationally expensive and entirely theoretical physics models on a 6-inch screen was exactly the missing piece in everyone's daily routine. Academics from Vanderbilt toss out equations that no one in the comment section truly understands, but they nod along vigorously, eager to sound equally enlightened. As debates erupt over black hole shadows—rotating or otherwise—most seem to forget that all this GPU-melting computing power is aimed at making your morning coffee look like it's getting sucked into the void.
220 points by yunyu 2024-11-19T17:06:11 1732035971 | 89 comments
6. ▲ Is the 80 character line limit still relevant? (2008) (richarddingwall.name)
🤔 In a stunning throwback that no one asked for, the internets dust off the ancient scrolls to debate the everlasting relevance of the 80-character line limit. As keyboards clack and developers flex their *superior preferences* on poor souls in comment sections, Richard bombastically reminds us that "yes, screens got *bigger*!”—a revelation bound to slap monocles off Victorian era programmers’ faces. Meanwhile, the comment brigade plays tetris with line lengths, invoking magical CI steps as charms against the evil spirits of the .prettierrc. 🧙‍♂️✨ Indulge in the ritualistic dance around code aesthetics, because clearly that's the peak of today's engineering problems. 🎩💻
42 points by azefiel 2024-11-12T15:11:46 1731424306 | 54 comments
7. ▲ GroMo (YC W21) Is Hiring (ycombinator.com)
**GroMo (YC W21) Is Hiring: A Comedic Quest for Insurance Sales Supremacy**

At GroMo, they've unleashed an _earth-shattering idea_: let's make an app! 🤯 Because if there's anything India needs, it's another platform promising to transform millions of lives via financial literacy—now conveniently available through your friendly neighborhood insurance agents. Want to increase Insurance penetration with ambiguous buzzwords like "innovative solutions" and "empowerment through technology"? GroMo is your startup nirvana! Meanwhile, in the comments, the echo chamber buzzes as every armchair CEO applauds the "disruptive" hustle, completely glossing over any real discussion about market saturation or ethical implications. वाह ताज!
0 points by 2024-11-20T01:00:22 1732064422 | 0 comments
8. ▲ Tiling with Three Polygons Is Undecidable (arxiv.org)
In a groundbreaking feat that absolutely nobody besides six very tired mathematicians could feign interest in, a new paper on arXiv proves that arranging three polygons in endlessly repeating patterns is, shockingly, undecidable. The community at arXiv is abuzz with excitement, as dozens of commenters who didn't read past the abstract argue loudly about the implications for their LEGO collections. Meanwhile, privacy is loudly championed in one breath, and freely handed over to Slack notifications in the next. Surely, this is what "adding value" looks like in the digital age of geometry. 📐🔍💤
14 points by denvaar 2024-11-17T05:51:44 1731822704 | 0 comments
9. ▲ Hand Tracking for Mouse Input (chernando.com)
In the groundbreaking exploration of hand-tracking as a mouse alternative, code enthusiasts at chernando.com unleash an arm-flailing spectacle of JavaScript because, like, Python is *too mainstream*. Comment sections swell with tech bros despairing over OpenCV’s lag – a phenomenon surely unique to them and their bespoke, cutting-edge projects. One daring soul transitioned from this digital gymnastics to controlling tech with facial twitches, making traditional mouse use look positively archaic. Meanwhile, others debate the nuances of Python's GIL as though threading is the hottest gossip at the coder's table. "Janky JavaScript solutions" reign supreme, inadvertently turning modern web development into a slapstick performance of what happens when over-engineering meets real-world apathy. 🎭💻😂
137 points by wonger_ 2024-11-19T17:18:14 1732036694 | 31 comments
10. ▲ Bottles of OOP now available in Python (sandimetz.com)

Bottles of OOP: Now With Added Python!


In a revolutionary act of creativity, 99 Bottles of OOP has been bravely translated into Python, adding to the long treasure trove of languages it's already conquered. Brace yourselves as it brings its valiant advice on how to write code that doesn't make your eyes bleed, using such revelations as "proper refactoring" and "avoiding conditionals," devoid of any real-world practices in specific language communities. In the meantime, Hacker News commentators engage in their favorite pastime: arguing about minutiae, reminiscing over how POODR changed their lives, and battling the unsolvable mysteries of automated title changes. Never mind the book's practicality — let's focus on DRM paranoia because, hey, you can never be too sure in 2023.
88 points by mattcollins 2024-11-15T15:39:16 1731685156 | 15 comments
11. ▲ OpenStreetMap's New Vector Tiles (marksblogg.com)
🌍 **OpenStreetMap Transforms into Vector Visions!** 🚀

In an era-defining shift, OpenStreetMap magically decides to embrace vector tiles, leaving raster enthusiasts in a pixelated past! 🎨 Forget clearly demarcated parks and bustling street details; the future is all about bland base maps that vaguely hint at geographic features. Commenters passionately lament the loss of detail, armed with nostalgia and a surplus of mapping specs, yet somehow find excitement in this new, blurry world. Perhaps the biggest breakthrough here is managing expectations downwards while keeping hobby cartographer forums abuzz. 🧭💔
354 points by marklit 2024-11-19T12:03:02 1732017782 | 129 comments
12. ▲ Using uv with PyTorch (astral.sh)
In a world fraught with existential threats and global issues, a brave soul decides to speed up Docker builds using *uv* with PyTorch, because waiting for computers is obviously humanity’s top priority. One commenter rides up on their gleaming unicorn to suggest cache mounts and copy optimizations — Eureka! Meanwhile, another lost soul wades through the treacherous waters of dependency hell, mistakenly updating to Python 3.13 and enduring the Sisyphean task of aligning PyTorch wheels, only to be saved by the *Nightly index*. The comment section, a veritable echo chamber of mutual back-patting and oblique technical one-upmanship, joyously skips around practical productivity, celebrating minor victories over artificial problems. 🎉🔧
37 points by charliermarsh 2024-11-19T21:59:10 1732053550 | 6 comments
13. ▲ Why I hate the index finger (1980) (nih.gov)
In the latest gripping saga of "Why my digit dictates my destiny," a poignant NIH.gov treatise explores the profound existential crisis brought on by an index finger tragedy. The article, a thrilling rollercoaster of self-pity and anatomical woes, draws a cult following of commenters who share their own finger fables, sparking a grotesque yet oddly touching symposium of digital dysfunction. 🤕 Over in the peanut gallery, enthusiasts take a break from Googling their symptoms to offer misdiagnoses, empathy, and the occasional snark, proving once again that humanity might just be one finger short of a full hand. 🖐️ "Phantom pain? More like phantom gains in this comment section!"
128 points by consumer451 2024-11-19T00:35:15 1731976515 | 59 comments
14. ▲ When did estimates turn into deadlines? (domainanalysis.io)
Title: Deadlines: When Your Guess Becomes Gospel

Comments in the digital swampland known as domainanalysis.io dive deep into the boundless, Kafkaesque nightmare where estimates magically morph into deadlines. One brave soul recounts the heroic act of “ballparking” estimates only to watch them transform into the stick management beats them with. Another genius unveils the revolutionary practice of adding padding to estimates—because apparently, in the mystical land of software development, time is a mere suggestion, and math is for losers. Meanwhile, a chorus of commenters either decry or defend the sanctity of their wildly guessed timeframes, proving once again that no one knows what they're doing, but everyone is *very* opinionated about it. 🤷‍♂️
160 points by alexzeitler 2024-11-19T20:03:10 1732046590 | 109 comments
15. ▲ Why is Apple Rosetta 2 fast? (2022) (dougallj.wordpress.com)
In an era where technology blogs are the new scriptures, a holy text emerges from dougallj.wordpress.com promising to unveil the divine secrets behind Rosetta 2's inexplicable speed. Gather around, fellow nerds, as we delve into a "bit rough" understanding, sourced from reading translated code and wild guessing, because that's obviously how professional reverse engineering is done now. Commenters, in their infinite wisdom, quickly leap from technical critiques to philosophical musings on ARM's place in a cold, uncaring universe dominated by x86. It seems everyone agrees Rosetta is fast because, well, Apple magic — or perhaps because no one really understands it, but hey, sprinkle some techno-babble and it sounds about right. 💫🍏💻
118 points by fanf2 2024-11-19T21:42:02 1732052522 | 45 comments
16. ▲ Apple Confirms Zero-Day Attacks Hitting macOS Systems (securityweek.com)
In a shocking turn of non-events, Apple admits that macOS might actually not be the digital Fort Knox as advertised, but only if you’re using that quaint old-timey Intel stuff. Cue Armageddon. Over in comment-world, lay experts toggle between shrill panic and applauding Apple for updates as if they're throwing life jackets off the Titanic. One brave soul attempts to tease apart iOS and macOS, dazzled by the revelation that phones and computers are not, in fact, the same thing. Wonder abounds, nobody learns anything. Keep clicking, sheeple. 🐑💻
33 points by fortran77 2024-11-20T00:26:30 1732062390 | 6 comments
17. ▲ Reexamination of 1975 "Edmund Fitzgerald" Storm Using Today's Technology [pdf] (noaa.gov)
Another groundbreaking use of federal funding results in a dust-caked PDF about a storm from over half a century ago, now poked and prodded with the stick of "today's technology." As if Mother Nature hadn't humiliated the NOAA enough in 1975, we get to watch them relive the trauma in high resolution. The comments are an exotic petting zoo of armchair meteorologists and Gordon Lightfoot fans, each convinced that their desktop research qualifies them to reinterpret maritime history. Surely, this technological necromancy will prevent all future bad weather incidents, rendering the Coast Guard utterly obsolete. 🌧️🚢💔
4 points by jandrewrogers 2024-11-10T20:09:52 1731269392 | 0 comments
18. ▲ The Analog Thing: Analog Computing for the Future (the-analog-thing.org)
**The Analog Thing: Because Old Tech is the New Black**
In an era where even your refrigerator boasts more computing power than the entire Apollo 11 mission, enthusiasts are tickling their nostalgia with *THE ANALOG THING* (em>THAT), a device bizarrely out of time, yet touted as the Renaissance of computing. That's right, for the low, low cost of your sanity and free time, you too can revel in *the pure joy* of analog computation, perfectly melding your love for unnecessary complexity with a deep disdain for practical modern advancements. Comment sections are ablaze with veterans reminiscing about the good ol’ days of electrical burns and manually toggling system states, while others debate whether this beige box fits into their next EDM set. Meanwhile, your digital smartwatch quietly weeps for the future. 🕰️💾🎛️
70 points by cgeier 2024-11-19T17:09:28 1732036168 | 21 comments
19. ▲ El Capitan: New supercomputer is the fastest (ieee.org)
**The Spectacular Need for Speed: El Capitan Off The Charts**

In a world where speed is everything, even if it's just for simulating apocalyptic scenarios we'll hopefully never need, El Capitan storms the stage, leaving mere mortals like the now-ancient Frontier supercomputer in digital dust. "Look at us, we can do 2700 quadrillion things per second!" brags Lawrence Livermore's nerdy child, while AMD chuckles all the way to the bank with its chip sales. Meanwhile, commenters engage in whimsical misinformation about historical treaties and the eco-stats of the iPhone 15, proving once again that everyone's an expert on the internet. And someone, inevitably, misses the point entirely and asks if we're simulating every atom in a nuclear explosion, which, knowing humanity's flair for overkill, we just might be. 🌍💥🤓
62 points by rbanffy 2024-11-19T20:52:48 1732049568 | 75 comments
20. ▲ Starship IFT-6 Livestream (liftoff at 4pm CT) (spacex.com)
In the latest episode of SpaceX's rendition of "banana in space," millions congregated online to witness not groundbreaking scientific advances, but a produce aisle castoff achieving low Earth orbit. Commentary ranged from nostalgic invocations of spacefaring chimpanzees to minute-by-minute updates on the banana's illustrious journey, surpassing what surely were other notable engineering feats unnoticed beneath the spectacle of the fruit. Meanwhile, armchair rocket scientists flooded forums with speculations about the missed booster catch – because predicting rocket science mishaps is obviously within the purview of YouTube University degrees. Truly, another giant leap for mankind's pursuit of cosmic irrelevance.
71 points by grecy 2024-11-19T21:26:18 1732051578 | 35 comments
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